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Family Matters:  I need the Christmas Spirit  |
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farmmom22
True Blue Farmgirl
616 Posts
Tammy
Scottsville
KY
USA
616 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 12:29:22 PM
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I just need a moment to have a pity party! I used to love Christmas and anymore I've come to dread it something awful. The whole season just gets me in a bad mood anymore. I know what we celebrate the season for and that's what I used to love about it, but it seems like all people care about anymore is what they are gonna give or get for Christmas. Money is so tight we do good to make it every week without having to worry about buying a bunch of presents. I guess I just wish that the Christmas season was more about the celebration of the birth of a tiny savior and all the blessings we have rather than what kind of gifts we are gonna have to give. Okay, thanks for letting me get that off my chest! I hope I didn't bring anyone down!
Best farm wishes |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 12:40:50 PM
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*hugs* I know how hard it can be when money is tight. My husband and I have been living in that situation ourselves for far too long. In fact, last night I had a huge pity party and cried to my mom for two hours. Money is tight and it can be so stressful when you feel like no matter what you do, you never have enough.
We draw names in my family so people only need to buy one present instead of a whole gob of them. Even so, my husband's family doesn't do this so they are the biggest burden right now. I am going to buy some jewelry from my mom for most of that side of the family, and then I found a great deal on ETSY for my dad, and I am going to bake a box of goodies for my grandfather.
*hugs* I hope the stress lessens a bit for you. Listen to some sweet Christmas music on full volume. Silent Night, The First Noel, What Child is This, The Little Drummer Boy (Perhaps especially the Little Drummer Boy". That always helps soothe me when I get a case of the holiday stress.
*hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our blog: www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 12:42:06 PM
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Nope, didn't bring me down...I've thought about this for sometime. Each and every year, I've felt "inadequate" about the gifts I give, because money is ALWAYS tight with us, and my husband's family seems to have lots..Most of my gifts are handmade (knitted items)--but given to relatives who don't understand the concept. So, this year, when thing seem the most tight (we're expecting our first child in February, and I have to pay for her BEFORE she's delivered!), I've decided that I'm just going to celebrate the season the way I want to--with very little emphasis on gifting, unless it's given with genuine heart, and more emphasis on making memories and remembering traditions from my childhood, and being together with friends and family.
For example, I don't spend any time in places where I can get "grinched" like the malls....I don't understand all the greed, really, so out of sight, out of mind! I try to shop in small towns, where I might run across some really unique people AND gift items, perfect for folks that I like to buy for. I volunteer throughout the year, but at Christmastime especially. If you ever wanted to know what you're put on this earth for, volunteer for a program that gives to the less fortunate. There's no way you can feel bad about Christmas anymore after that!!!
On my list to give this year: homemade preserved cranberry bourbon chutney, handmade felted change purses with antique buttons and notions, and handmade mittens. If they want to laugh, they can, but they should just put a spoonful of the chutney in their mouths and that should shut them up :)!!
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Edited by - FebruaryViolet on Dec 01 2008 12:42:46 PM |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 1:14:46 PM
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Money is very tight with me too. SO I will just make a nice enough meal for me. Elvis has his own, lol.
No big presents for me, but maybe I can buy a little something, just to have a little thing under the tree.
Ofcourse it won't be a real surprise anymore, but just the idea alone is nice.
I am thinking of a book (as if I need more, lol)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Again new creations added, too cute lol. Come and check it out!!
http://princess-of-pink-creations.blogspot.com/
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Jami
True Blue Farmgirl
1238 Posts
Jami
Ellensburg
WA
USA
1238 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 2:39:47 PM
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I'm not a pitty party type of person so you having one isn't going to get me down. Here's some suggestions.
You could be the trailblazer in the family and start your own tradition of homemade goodies baked from your kitchen or whatever homey thing you can afford to do and are good at doing for gifts--how about a home-taken photo of your family in a homemade frame? Gosh, the list of something special to give to someone special is really endless. Wrap it up pretty and it's a gift/present and NO APOLOGIES. My brother and sis-in-law did that this year and you know what happened? The whole family is totally relieved!! We were all just waiting for someone to take the initiative and DO IT. They brought presents at Thanksgiving as they have other plans for Christmas and wanted to save on mailing costs...all were a basket with a card with pics of the kidlets and 3 homemade loaves of bread. I put our breads in the freezer for Christmastime but others have been eating theirs and are just raving about how great it is. I think this simple "change" has almost transformed our family and now my parents, who are on a fixed income, just announced they are not buying presents this year except for the little ones. All of us older kids were just fine and dandy with this idea. It just takes someone to be the trailblazer and it's very catching! I hope you are cheering up but more than that, I hope you can find a workable solution so you too can enjoy the season ahead.
Jami in WA
Farmgirl Sister #266
http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/
http://farmhouseflair.etsy.com |
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2008 : 4:00:11 PM
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Okay, I'm going to add my vent to your vent for just a minute. I married into a family that is a different religion than what I was raised in. They are more strict than mine -- no drinking, no dancing, no any of that type of thing. However, not only do they not go to church on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, all they concentrate on at Christmas time is gifts, stuffing their faces, and then sitting around gossiping about people they go to church with (they attend a huge church in town).
The first couple of years I was in the family, I got so tired of the "we're better than those of other faiths" all year and the hypocrisy on Christmas, but living away from home the next 12 years helped. Now I take my knitting or some other type of handiwork and tune them out. Last year I even went in the spare bedroom and read a book! I know -- antisocial.
I wish I could offer you some great advice, but everything I've tried hasn't worked. One year, when all the kids were toddlers and a bit older, I made a birthday cake for Jesus and took it to the get-together. You would have thought they had never realized what Christmas really was all about. Now we do the cake at our house, but I don't take it with me. Too many little joking, but snide, comments.
But I understand what you mean -- when I lost my job money was incredibly tight, etc., etc. I really do feel for you and wish I could make everything right for you. I can't, but I promise to keep you in my prayers every day. Please feel free to email me if you ever need to engage in intensive venting -- I'm a good listener. 
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
Please email me for all your BeautiControl needs! |
Edited by - happymama58 on Dec 01 2008 4:05:06 PM |
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Ga Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
2355 Posts
Karen
Meansville
Ga.
USA
2355 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 06:49:27 AM
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I understand completly. I am usually the first to get my tree up but this year I have not even attempted to put a tree up or anything else for that matter. I have done my Christmas cards but thats it. I could care less if a tree goes up or not. I just cant seem to find my Christmas spirit either. Im with you Tammy things just arent like they used to be. More gifts than anything. What happened to memories and family times? Maybe we need to go back to the basics.
Blessings, Karen
Create in me a pure heart,O God and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Psalms 51:10 http://farmgirlingastyle.blogspot.com/
www.KKJD1.etsy.com |
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wild daisy
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Madelynne
Billings
Montana
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 1:19:42 PM
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I have felt the same way in years past. We still don't have a lot of money. I know that one can be overwhelmed this time of year. Remember you are just one person. You don't have to give everyone a store bought present.
I start on next year in January. I usually go to the stores and canvas the Clearance Isles. I usually only get the wrapping paper or few decorations for the tree or presents. Sometimes for less then a dollar. The next few months I decide what I want to make for giving. I work towards this for example. This year I made place mats and a table runner for the holidays for family. I got the pattern then shopped for the fabric. Not all at once but for one set at a time. Then the last few months cut and sewed them up and they are ready for delivery. I will then be making cookies and fudge for neighbors and friends (with help from my husband). Those family members that we don't see much will be getting just a Christmas card.
I try and get most things done prior to the first of December. Then I can enjoy the whole month. Try and let Christmas come to you and not to follow along with the commercial pressures and you might just enjoy more and stress less. Good Luck
Madelynne |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 1:44:30 PM
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I understand you totally, however I must share with you what we did this year: My daughters & Son as well as myself & husband always do a gift exchange, With the ecomomy the way it is and less $$ than any of us had last year we decided to either make our gifts this year or if we found something the other persons could use or would use in excellent shape we would buy it at a thrift shop. I am amazed at the things my son has suggested for his sisters & their husbands.
he is making every brother in law "portable smokers". Last year he cut down a birch tree and made us all coasters out of the cut limbs that he sanded,stained & polished and his wife made all the neices & nephews flannel pajama pants. Everyone was warm & toasty during the winter nights. We all share the same feeling of "over kill" and commercialism that the stores produce. This year I hear homemade gifts are coming of homemade cookies, trail mixes, jerky and jams & jellies. Tie them up with a nice ribbon and handmade tag. Who wouldn't like these fancy gifts? And to know that each person was thought of as they were made. I am over the moon with Spirit this year. Put on a happy song and pull out the decorations.
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 2:54:12 PM
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Tammy, if that is the kind of Christmas that you want and will make you happiest. My goodness, make it happen!! Make your own traditions and focus on what you truly believe is important about the holiday season. Make this and every Christmas the special event you want it to really be. Don't let the commercialism take over your Christmas do it your own way. A very Merry Christmas season to your and your family.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 3:03:51 PM
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| Want to hear something immature? I don't like Christmas for a lot of reasons. Too much about presents and how much to spend. When the grandkids started getting married, their present $ also had their spouce's name on it. I didn't add another name to the list. The great grandkids get a savings bond. I am not about to compete with the grandparents that spend big bucks. I figure that 20 years from now when all the fancy toy's are forgotten, They will have a savings bond that will be worth a little something. All the kids, all ages always ask why I don't have a Christmas tree. I decorate some but no tree. Here is the immature part. My Daddy died in 1991 and I have not put up a tree since. Daddy loved Christmas and always made everybody else love it too. My sister and I usually bought him a toy. Everyone got such a kick watching him open his present. When he died, so did the party. Now, I listen to Christmas music and rejoice in the birth of Christ. Sounds like I am a little kid, missing her Daddy. Well, like I said, I have great grandkids. But you never get too old to miss your Daddy. |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 3:11:39 PM
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I miss my dad too..He died in 2001 and he also loved Christmas. He was always smiling and a real jokester. In his memory I will carry on..all the things he liked..christmas music, making candy, decorating the tree & lighting the house.
It's during this time of the year when I feel closest to him..Keeping his memories alive for my children & grandchildren. He passed away, but we continue to live & grow with his spirit. Thanks for letting me share...
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 3:14:23 PM
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Belle, that is truly sweet. I agree, you never get too old to miss your parents. :) So, my two cents is this, since the economy is bad (especially when you live in the country's most expensive city): I get it...and noone has lots of money. My parents were never about lots of presents; maybe this is because they came from other countries where gift giving wasn't such a *ahem* past-time during the holidays--or you think it would be, the way some people act...
Anyhoo, what I loved about my mama was that she would suggest we do something FOR OTHER people, leading up to Christmas...send a gift, help mow a lawn, visit the nearby senior center, volunteer to walk dogs at the animal shelter, Pick An Angel, write a nice letter to someone who could use it...heck, sometimes we did something for two or three weeks, before and after the holidays. And we loved it...because you definitely get the warm fuzzies when you radiate love, and it was sweet when people seemed so grateful...
So, maybe that will help with the over-consumerist blahs? Just a thought
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View my work:
www.bigtownfarmer.com
And *NEW* Blogs:
Life: www.wildatheartfarm.blogspot.com
art/dolls: www.wildatheartart.blogspot.com
herbals: www.wildatheartherbals.blogspot.com |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 3:35:36 PM
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here- here and Amen!
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Cheryl #309
Farm girl sister
Enjoy the little things in life....someday you'll look back and realize they were the big things. |
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farmmom22
True Blue Farmgirl
616 Posts
Tammy
Scottsville
KY
USA
616 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 7:44:11 PM
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Thankyou girls so much. It's good to know that I'm not the only one with these feelings. My husband's family is the only one's that care about the expensive presents so I've decided to not take part in their festivities this year. That may sound harsh, but you just have to know them. My family is just a bunch of country folk and it's never about the money or how fabulous the gift is. So I'm working on making gifts for them. Now all I have to worry about is the kids, and they already know things are being cut back this year.
And FV I am right there with you about the malls and holiday shopping! Is it not the craziest thing that people want to get out in that mess just to get someone a present! I don't even like to go to Wal-Mart during the holidays!
Best farm wishes |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 8:52:16 PM
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Hey Feburary, can I be on your gift list? Just teasing, I wouldn't want to add to your burdens. The coin purses sound lovely.
I say poo on the relatives who are greedy. Stop giving them a gift. Then they won't feel inclined to give you one next year. You'll start a new tradition.
Also, Alee, be upfront with Doug's rellies, and tell them sorry, money is just too tight, and you prefer not to participate in gift giving at all.
A million years ago, when I was married and very broke, we were honest with our families and told them sorry we just can't do it. We only gave to our parents and kids. We didn't even get each other anything.
People are more understanding than you think, plus they may be relieved too. Perhaps things are tight at their house too, but they are too proud to say it.
Also, don't think the grass is greener on their side of the fence, they may appear to have more money, BUT, they may be up to their eyeballs in debt and broke too. Wow, how was that for a run-on sentence?
I just don't have the Christmas Spirit this year either.
I have pared down my list this year, and turned off the Christmas Machine. Money is just too tight for me.
I am not even putting my tree up this year, it seems like too much effort.
My cousins are all younger than me, and it is hard to see them starting to get find mates and get married, and I have been single for years, and I am actually pretty comfortable being single but, I hate being single during the holiday season. I get the look every year like I am defective.
Not that wouldn't mind a companion of the male persuasion under the tree. *giggle* Okay, I'll stop whining about that now.
I agree, people have lost sight of the true meaning of Christmas. This year,I am more excited about buying my Angel Tree gift than anything. It has taught me a joy I never knew I could feel, and brings just a tiny bit of Christmas Spirit into my Bah Humbug attitude.
Perhaps Santa Claus will bring a better economy this year, and make all right in the world.
A girl can dream can't she?
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
Edited by - kissmekate on Dec 02 2008 9:11:18 PM |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 9:18:03 PM
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Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus Well, at least WE know that we don't like commercial Christmases...and I strongly suspect that alot of people are probably having to really search for the "other" Christmas, you know...the one that doesn't involve alot of money (which, I think, is what it SHOULD be about!)
Aww, everyone, don't let the money blahs get you down (easier said then done!) At the end of the day, I think most of the important things are the things we DO have...and that we can create!
Which is the reason I keep coming back here...the girl from NYC comes to find the clever, persevering, independent spirit that is farmgirl-ism-ness. I have a feeling that Santa will deliver, if we keep an open mind...happiness, health, crafting goodness and yes, maybe even a gift wrapped young man (I had to wait a few years for mine, but it DOES happen) 
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View my work:
www.bigtownfarmer.com
And *NEW* Blogs:
Life: www.wildatheartfarm.blogspot.com
art/dolls: www.wildatheartart.blogspot.com
herbals: www.wildatheartherbals.blogspot.com |
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Dec 02 2008 : 10:48:43 PM
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*hugs*
Thanks Zan!
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Dec 03 2008 : 06:10:44 AM
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This is such a nice thread...and honestly, makes me feel a WHOLE lot better! Tammy, what started out as (what you thought) was a pity party, seems to have reinforced us all to stick to our values, and do for others--what the Christmas spirit is truly about. I too love the angel trees and can't wait to pick out a couple of names. I always try to get an older child--but this year, I'm really going to have to study up on what the "tweens" like because I was dumbfounded by my gal's request last year! I had to ask a co-worker who has a 13 year old girl what the heck my "angel" girl wanted!!!!
I mentioned some of the things I was doing/making to my mil who said, "where do you find the time? You can fit more hours in a day than anyone I know, and those things are sooo thoughtful!" So, what someone else said here is true...the more upfront about it you are (having little cash, deciding that gifts aren't ALL they're cracked up to be, etc...), seems like they might just get it.
I live in a town that LOVES suburban sprawl, and we have so many stores and strip malls (all the "popular" places!) that I just hate getting out and about, even when it ISN'T the holidays. in fact, last night I ran over to "mall road" to get something from the Hallmark store, and couldn't for the life of me figure out why the roads were so busy, and the parking lots full. Ha!!! That's how outta touch I am with the mainstream shopping world!
And, Kate--send me your addy through the forum--these have been the MOST fun things to make, and I seem to be on a roll! Even my husband who notices NOT MUCH said, "wow, what a great idea!". :)
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peachy
True Blue Farmgirl
593 Posts
Melissa
Fennville
MI
USA
593 Posts |
Posted - Dec 05 2008 : 11:11:23 PM
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Big hugs from me!!! I use to love Christmas but this year everything is so hard...and trying to buy for 6 kids???!!! I'm making most of my gifts for my friends but this is just difficult! Each of the 6 kids gave me a list and they were incredibly good regarding $$$ but it's still so hard! I'm looking forward to diving into baking next week and maybe forget about the spending for just a bit!!!
Melissa
Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain! |
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cindi
Farmgirl in Training
39 Posts
cindi
sedalia
mo
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2008 : 11:04:01 AM
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I agree with you all. I miss my dad everyday he was "north star". I miss going to look at the xmas lights with him. So the last 2 years mom and I go look at them after christmas eve service. The xmas tree for the last 3 years is a table top tree that I add a chain of hershy wrapper chain, bottle cap ornimaents and beer tabs. Let your inner child come out and enjoy the wonder of window shopping. Don't let mean people get you down.
Most of my life i have given "creative" gifts. Bags of pasta when i worked in a pasta wearhouse; flees hats, scarves, mittens: Jars of jelly from the graves off grandpa's old place: last year scarves and knit dishrags. Gifts are just that gifts! Weather people except them with open hearts or not. |
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2008 : 12:35:30 PM
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I agree with all of you and am so inspired by all the creativity for Christmas!! For my big family (my side, lots of aunts and uncles) about half of us don't have a lot of discretionary income so Christmas has become all about the food - we all do gift baskets with homemade goodies. Homemade pesto, jam, a kit for soup etc.
Then for our folks I make gifts and if I have enough money we buy books, because you can always reread a book. The only tough one is my teenage son - 16 - because I always want to get him one "big" gift, but I refuse to buy video games and since he has started earning his own money he has purchased the big ticket items he wants. We decided on college basketball tickets to our local university for he and my husband to go see games together - this way he gets an experience he will remember, he and my husband both love college basketball so they will have a great time, and, because it is not a huge school, tickets are relatively cheap.
Since I started making gifts instead of buying I have really been able to re-focus on what Christmas means - I know I'm lucky to have a family that understands that, if I didn't I would probably opt out as well
Happy Christmas gift making to all...
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without" |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2008 : 1:20:18 PM
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This is going to sound really pathetic, but all the creativity and fun that I see other people having is what stresses me out most about Christmas! Every year, there are so many things I want to do - Make a wreath! Go to the Yuletide tour at the local historical museum! Bake a bunch of cookies! and so on... But it's just me and my husband, and he hates all this sort of thing, and trying to get other people together to do stuff is impossible, and all these fun projects require searching out patterns and instructions, and shopping for ingredients and materials is hard work. Plus I have to clean the house (which means nagging my husband for weeks) and then cook a big meal on Christmas day so that at least something seems festive.
It's not much fun when you're doing it all by yourself. Almost makes me want to have kids, so at least somebody else would be excited with me.
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kissmekate
True Blue Farmgirl
890 Posts
Kate
Delano
Minnesota
890 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2008 : 4:32:01 PM
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Oh Amie, I know what you mean, and I have kids!
Don't miss out on a blessing, just because it isn't packaged the way you expected. ~MaryJo Copeland |
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cindi
Farmgirl in Training
39 Posts
cindi
sedalia
mo
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2008 : 4:39:48 PM
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| Amie i'm soo sorry that you are sad(((hug))). I don't have my own kids, only Step kids (that is another story). My suggestion is go grab on of your girl friends and take her to mc donalds, going to lunch always helps. Go volonter! by helping some one you help your self. November thru February aer always the sadest time of year for me. WE are always here. WE don't judge and can empathys with you. |
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Family Matters: I need the Christmas Spirit |
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I need the Christmas Spirit
