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Across the Fence:  let's all try to NOT complain  |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 10:58:59 AM
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oh gurlfrenz .. i heard a man being interviewed the other day .. and LOVE his idea! it's all about NOT COMPLAINING .. AT ALL!!! i so often see posted on forums and bulletin boards on the internet (sadly ... including our very own farmyard).. lots of what i call "'whinin' and complainin'" ... i'm going to get his book (i already have the BAND) .. and see how long it takes ME to go 21 days without even ONE complaint! why don't we all do the same. and if you watch the 'threads' here .. and see 'complainin' .. then perhaps 'switch YOUR wristband for the gurlfrenz .. and mayhaps your love and energy and good 'vibes' will go out to them. at the very least, if we read our words carefully BEFORE hitting the POST button .. and if we see we are COMPLAINING .. perhaps we might be reminded to 'switch our words' .. so we don't have to 'switch our bracelets'. it truly would be a more wonderous world.
The Rev. Will Bowen, a minister in Kansas City, encourages people to wear a bracelet that he hopes will remind them not to grouse or gossip for 21 days.
the name of the book is: A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted .... by Will Bowen (Author)
Kansas City, Mo.
The Rev. Will Bowen never intended to launch a worldwide movement. He simply made a suggestion to his parisioners one Sunday about how they could improve their lives with the help of a wrist band. Today he's sent out more than 5 million of them to 80 different countries – and has unwittingly unleashed one of the biggest self-improvement crusades since Dale Carnegie.
Not that he's complaining, mind you. And that's precisely the point. Mr. Bowen has given up complaining – well, mostly – and he wants the rest of the world, all 6.6 billion of us, to do the same.
Bowen believes there is a direct correlation between an excess of global grousing and why the world is not the way we would like it to be. He thinks what the world needs most is for people to stop griping and start focusing on the way things should be. "I strongly believe that our thoughts create our lives," Bowen says, sitting in his tidy office at Christ Church Unity in Kansas City, Mo., where he is the senior minister. "Our words indicate what we're thinking."
When Bowen first made his suggestion in that now-serendipitous sermon in July 2006, he simply urged his congregation of 250 to shift their focus from lack to abundance by giving up complaining for 21 days. It's the length of time, he said, that it takes to break a habit.
To reinforce his message, he handed out purple silicone bracelets stamped with the word "Spirit." Those who accept the challenge wear the bracelet, moving it from wrist to wrist whenever they catch themselves complaining. Those who manage to keep their bracelets on the same wrist for three straight weeks are issued a "certificate of happiness."
Countless positive thinking techniques and self-help programs have come and gone in the decades since Norman Vincent Peale launched a cottage industry in the 1950s. Maybe it was the purple bracelet, which was Bowen's own twist, that attracted millions around the world.
"The real magic of the idea is the switching – taking it off, going back and forth," says Bowen. "Complaining is like bad breath. You notice it when it comes out of somebody else's mouth, but not when it comes out of your own."
The no-complaining idea struck a chord. Word of the initiative spread and the church began getting requests for bracelets from around the world. Bowen set up a nonprofit group, A Complaint Free World, separate from the church, and recruited volunteers to fill orders. He started giving dozens of media interviews, appearing in People magazine, and hobnobbing with Matt Lauer on national TV. One day after Bowen appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show last March, he received orders for more than 2 million bracelets. Today, requests are holding steady at about 25,000 wristbands a week.
here's a REVIEW that i read .. it sounds like a WORTHY read and advice!!!!
The author does a tremendous job of gently pointing out all the things about complaining that are both negative and futile:
+ complaining is about what you cannot have or get--get over it
+ avoid chronic complainers, the disease spreads
+ Takes 4-8 months to move from unconsciously incompetent to unconsciously competent.
+ Complaining traps you in a constant state of "something is wrong."
+ Complaining is a form of manipulation
+ Instead of complaining seek alternative language or BE SILENT
+ Silence is mature self-possession
+ Commit to what you want and go after it--WITHOUT COMPLAINT
what a happier world and more peaceful people we would all be!
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Edited by - CabinCreek-Kentucky on Oct 15 2008 10:59:41 AM |
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Jami
True Blue Farmgirl
1238 Posts
Jami
Ellensburg
WA
USA
1238 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 11:15:04 AM
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Awwww, sheesh Frannie...you wanna take the fun out of everythingggggg (whinin' tone there).
Really, you are a sweetheart and so positive...so here's some sunshine to blow up your apron--it's a beautiful fall day, cool, crisp. A couple dozen quail are running around the driveway eating stuff and the birds are flying in tight groups across the blue skies. Ahhhh, fall.
Jami in WA
Farmgirl Sister #266
http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 11:38:16 AM
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oh jami .. you are so cute! and jus' think how much MORE fun it is to be sittin' under the sky watchin' those quail and that blue blue sky .. and complainin' doesn't really bring a SMILE to our sweet faces .. but i'll bet your eyes were jus' a-twinklin' when you saw those quail land in your driveway and take off again in the 'wild blue yonder'.
on a more serious note .. complaining is a 'negative' action and honestly, will jus' bring more negativity right back at us .. and i can't think of one instance in life where jus' plain complaining ever accomplished anything positive.
i really liked the last thing on the list that Rev. Bowen pointed out:
"Commit to what you want and go after it--WITHOUT COMPLAINT" ...
A-HA! that way we do get to actually CHANGE things that are important to us and bother us and still remain a 'happy soul'.
thar's POWER in them thar words! xoxoxo
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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jo Thompson
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jo
the mountainside of the Chugach
in Alaska
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 11:42:04 AM
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Frannie I meant to reply to your topic, I guess I hit new topic, anyway I just pledged a day of keeping my mouth closed just for you!
"life is drab without a lab"
http://web.mac.com/thomja/ |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 12:22:23 PM
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oh jo .. you are a JOY! i 'think' i've not complained today .. UNLESS .. HA! my original posting above counts as a 'complaint'. Now, chile .. you open that mouth wide open and sing the praises of happiness!
Actually, when Rev. Bowen was interviewed (i think it was by Dr. Oz on the Oprah radio talk-show) .. he was asked if pointing out to people that they are 'complaining' is considered a complaint.
He replied it is in the 'true intent' of HOW we point it out. Which i guess is pretty much true about most of what we say. There is usually a kind way to express our feelings on an issue .. and there is a 'frustrated .. un-kind .. jus' plain GROUCHIN' way we can go about it!
POINTING BLAME is one of the first signs to look at when we say something to see if we are indeed complaining ... Dr. Bowen advises.
RETRIBUTION OR PUNISHMENT TOWARDS OTHER HUMAN SOULS .. what WE would do (judgement) is another.
Is it hard to be TRULY 'good and kind' in this lifetime? He says (like so many other uplifting things i have read and heard) It is simply a way of learning a 'new pattern' and way of looking at things. DOES IT MAKE US TRULY FEEL 'GOOD' .. when we say something? If not .. yup! it's probably GRIPING at it's finest!
I'll confess to ya'll if (ha! WHEN) i catch myself COMPLAINING about something today! (honey hunk and i are going to E-town to dinner and a movie tonight. We sometimes want to see DIFFERENT movies .. i'll watch my words closely to see if i "complain' about not wanting to see the one he wants to see .. and SNAP! switch that 'complaint bracelet' on my wrist if i do!
Gonna' pick up Dr. Bowen's book at Barnes & Noble today too! I want to read it with honey-man .. i'm curious to see what he says about our ability to ALWAYS know WHEN we are 'griping'!!! AND .. HOW we go about letting someone we love KNOW that we believe THEY are complaining ... without it being a COMPLAINT we are making!
I surely would LOVE if all of us here would have at least ONE day of promising ourselves NOT to complain .. at home .. or here in the forum .. then we could all go for TWO and THREE .. and if we love how we feel about ourselves .. we could shoot for the 21 days!!!
Anyone wanna' do this with me? xoxo
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Edited by - CabinCreek-Kentucky on Oct 15 2008 12:25:46 PM |
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Back Home Again
True Blue Farmgirl
584 Posts
Audrey
Albuquerque
New Mexico
USA
584 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 12:53:22 PM
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I'd love to join in on that Challenge Frannie!!
I just started reading "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch yesterday. Many people saw part of his "Last Lecture" on the Internet before he passed away but I wanted to read his book in entirity. He was a professor of Computer Science, Human Computer Interaction, and Design at Carnegie Mellon University.
A quote by Randy Pausch..."We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."........the book has you mulling over the question: What Wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance? If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy?
I know that after reading this inspirational book I will feel even stronger about your suggestion of working to keep Complaining to an ABSOLUTE MINIMUM! This is a book that has been heralded as a book that will be shared for generations to come. I'll fill you in on more of my insights after finishing The Last Lecture.
Until Later,
xoxo
New Mexico Audrey
~ Side by side or miles apart....dear friends are always close to the heart ~ |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 1:14:24 PM
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thanks sweetie pie .. and you, my precious friend, know of my frailities .. in this area ..
audrey ... my friend .. my confidant .. and i should know better than to ask dear friends to listen to my 'gripes'. yes, let's work together on this .. and please let me know with love when you catch me not bein' the happiest i can be.
i have always wanted my 'legacy' to be one of "
WOW! she sure was a wonderfully fun, happy and caring person"
.. i've tried to 'mostly' live my life that way. but i'm gonna' try even harder .. cuz' you KNOW .. we WILL everyone of us leave a legacy someday.
i once read where it would be helpful if we all wrote our own 'epithet' ... what would our friends and those who's lives we have touched (postively and negatively) say about us when we are gone?
would they think we were a grouchy olde curmudgeon .. a nasty mean-spirited person .. someone we never saw much value in? OH LORDY!!! wouldn't that just be a total waste of our lifetime!!!
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 1:29:59 PM
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| Count me in too Frannie. Belle |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 1:30:39 PM
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I will join in tomorrow as I have used all my complaint coins for today. I will greet everyone I meet with smile, be overly courteous, make something special for Charlie for dinner and count my blessings. I learned to find the silver lining in everything from my Papa who loved to ride his bike, smoke his pipe, drink his ice tea and rock in his chair- simple and happy. YEE HAW!!! HAPPY DANCE!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 2:00:04 PM
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This is an interesting idea but it rings of oversimplification and forgive me, materialistic profiteering. Wrist bracelets to remind people to stop complaining and to think positively with the word "Spirit?" "Certificates of Happiness" awarded to those who succeed for 3 or more weeks? Really?!
I'm obviously a foul-breathed complainer but I'm rather offended. You see, it is my belief that there are many just causes, which for the voice of complaint, ought to rattle the rafters. I think silence can breed cruelty that rests in the comforts of apathy.
I think, however, what people are trying to get at here is the concept of mindfulness. Mindfulness that recognizes a valid complaint but gives voice to its solution at the same time. There is nothing wrong, to my mind, when one chooses to be a squeaky wheel provided the core motivation is to get moving somewhere. To be a stationary squeaky wheel seems quite a fruitless exercise. Mindfulness requires that we examine what is negative about our thoughts, our perspectives, our experiences, our interactions and most importantly how all those things can effect the well-being of another person or situation.
Right now with our presidential election right around the corner I can not help but think of the millions of women of yester-year screaming their complaints and their outrage over being denied the right to vote decade after decade after decade. Imagine where we would be without their constant smart rankling squeaks and squawks challenging the mind set of the status quo.
It isn't enough to say "stop complaining." "be silent"I say complain away but be smart, be mindful, be considerate, be self-respecting, be wise....The danger of promoting silence is that it encourages suppression, which only rears its ugly head in a lashing sort of way.
If people need to wear a reminder on their wrist to celebrate the Spirit that dwells within all sentient beings, I can't help but wonder if the real problem lies much deeper.
I suppose for some it is a place to start. I would, however, like recommend a different place. A place that isn't silent. A place that isn't suppressed. A place that is beyond the complaints of self-loathing and envy. It is the place where Spirit dwells and that my dear farm-sisters is in your own heart. I say, forget the adornments. Go to your hearts...be still...listen....hear the chorus of its beating life....know the world awaits your goodness!
~julia hayes
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
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mommom
True Blue Farmgirl
854 Posts
Susan
Lancaster
Pennsylvania
USA
854 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 2:33:51 PM
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| I have the book "A complaint free world" and have read it cover to cover.....twice. There are actually a few of us around here who have been trying to do this for the past two months. I do okay until I get one of my migraines.......they hurt. I think this book goes right along with "ATtitude of Gratitude" and we can do it if we really want to!!!! Everytime I have this urge to complain I make myself smile. It reminds me just how blessed I am! Susan |
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homemom1fl
True Blue Farmgirl
76 Posts
Chris
Palm Harbor
FL
USA
76 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 2:39:30 PM
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Frannie,
Count me in! I certainly do more than my fair share of complaining and I have rarely if ever seen it do anything positive but it certainly eats away at my happiness! I think a physical reminder, such as the wristband, has it merits for some people, such as myself.
As for your legacy, I think you are doing a splendid job thus far in your quest for folks to say, "WOW! she sure was a wonderfully fun, happy and caring person"
Thanks for a grand weekend! I will be sending you some pics and insights. |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 2:49:56 PM
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I agree with Julia that it is inside of us where the change is made. Some people may need a physical reminder to help them form a habit of positive thinking. If so, that's okay. It is a process that is learned step by step. They may have come from a place where they did not have the opportunity to learn gratitude or were exposed to constant negativity. I think that when we focus on the things that we are grateful for, our complaints dwindle. That does not mean that we cannot stand up for ourselves when necessary. Quite the opposite in fact. We have been blessed with voices that we can use to make a change when a change is needed. It is the way in which we express our needs and desires that is the key. We have many opportunities now, thanks to the voices of those who have spoken in the past. With hope, the legacy will continue and our children and their children will reap the benefits of our having spoken on behalf of their future. Remembering what has come before puts today in its proper place. We have much to be grateful for. Rock on, Frannie. I'm right there with you.
Karin
Farmgirl Sister
# 18 :)
www.perfectlittlemiracle.blogspot.com
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 4:47:49 PM
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About a month ago I heard a challenge on the radio to not speak a grumpy word to your husband for a month. I think I made it about 12, with at least 6 of them being separate of my husband! LOL! It was really an eye opener. I just bought a book today called "The Positive Mom" so I am already in this frame of mind. So I will be glad to "attempt" the challenge, though given the fact that the election is just around the corner and I have very strong opinions, that will be difficult. I will try to "disagree in love . . ." Should be interesting. Anyone else game?
Hugs & blessings,
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 4:53:30 PM
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Julia - I wholeheartedly agree with you, and I know you come from a place of absolutely pure perspective and I think you expressed yourself wonderfully!
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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LunaTheFarmLady
True Blue Farmgirl
448 Posts
Luna
Rineyville
KY
USA
448 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 5:01:54 PM
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I'm in, Frannie. I am usually pretty good about looking at the bright side...usually. These weeks coming up will be a particular challenge for me as i head into official settlement negotiations with my ex. I know from my past experience in positive thinking that believing is achieving. I am living proof as I sit in my little slice of farmette heaven, here. This is one area where I feel I might fail. Intellectually, I know that by being positive I will achieve what I need to continue my dream. Emotionally, I struggle. I will try.
Luna The Farm Lady
http://blueballmountainspindleneedleworks.blogspot.com/
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 9:40:20 PM
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gurlz .. in life .. i believe we all can travel roads that lead to personal happiness ... for some it might be wearing a wrist band ... for others it might be just STOPPING to listen to themselves as to whether what they are complaining about is enhancing or detracting from their own happiness ..and that of the world. NONE of these roads are 'wrong' .. if it makes for a happier 'us'. BUT .. i say we should not judge the methods that some have found to be powerful tools to help them achieve something good for themselves. (different strokes for different folks)
I ordered this book tonight from Barnes and Noble and won't judge what it does or does not suggest. After reading it .. i will choose what is important and relevant to me. I do believe that working towards POSITIVE change .. and DARE I SAY .. I SAW THIS DONE SUCCESSFULLY IN POWERFUL WAYS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. ... and as the good reverend says .. it is the INTENT of our words .. which will decide whether we are truly working toward something 'good' .. or just 'beee-otching' out of thoughtlessness, .. which does NOT help us or our world.
Many years ago, I had the blessing of meeting Dr. Gerald Jampolsky (google him and learn all about him and his Center for Attitudinal Healing .. he is a POWERFUL teacher!) He came to my daughter's school in Denver ... to talk to children about the 'advice' they would give to the world's leaders about 'peace'. My daughter's words were captured and used in his book "Children As Teachers of Peace" .. along with children from all over the world. A few years later, he visited Annapolis, Maryland where we were living ... and brought with him several of his "special children" .. all had cancer and all had faced their fears. It was truly as if 'angels' were in the room. I remember a man in the audience raised his hand and COMPLAINED (i can't even remember about what .. but i'm tellin' you .. he was on a ROLL!!!) Dr. Jampolsky invited this gentleman to come to the stage amidst the children .. they surrounded him and hugged him with loving smiles on their faces. The man burst into tears and said that he realized that he complains about so many 'little' things compared to what these dear children were bearing in their lives. It's the 'silly' .. 'hurtful' ... thoughtless .. things that i believe we should release from our lives.
Don't be confused gurlfrenz ... THIS is very different than working towards making changes for good in our lives and in the world. AGAIN .. as Rev. Bowen says .. it is the INTENT. When we all discover what that is for each of us .. I believe we will understand what this is TRULY all about.
I'd like to share this from Dr. Jerry:
The Principles of Attitudinal Healing
1) The essence of our being is love.
2) Health is inner peace. Health is letting go of fear.
3) Giving and receiving are the same.
4) We can let go of the past and the future.
5) Now is the only time there is and each instant is for giving.
6) We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.
7) We can become love finders rather than fault finders. (COMPLAINING)
8) We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside regardless of what is happening outside.
9) We are students and teachers of each other.
10) We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments.
11) Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful.
12) We can always perceive ourselves and others as either extending love or giving a call for help.
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Edited by - CabinCreek-Kentucky on Oct 15 2008 9:49:35 PM |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 10:27:12 PM
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Will Bowen's book A Complaint Free World is an engaging, enjoyable, easy-to-read reminder that the only permanent, constructive changes you can make in the world are the changes that you make in yourself."
—Gary Zukav, author of The Seat of the Soul and Soul to Soul
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 10:35:31 PM
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i'm really excited to be getting this book .. to understand the 'concept' of not 'complaining' ...
about the book:
In this book, you can learn what constitutes a complaint, why we complain, what benefits we think we receive from complaining, how complaining is destructive to our lives, and how we can get others around us to stop complaining. You will learn the steps to eradicating this poisonous form of expression from your life. If you stay with it, you will find that not only will you not complain, but others around you will cease to do so as well. In a short period of time, you can have the life you’ve always dreamed of having.
A SIMPLE PLAN... A LIFE-CHANGING RESULT...
A HAPPIER LIFE
·What exactly is a complaint? (Chapter 1)
·Why is complaining destructive? (Chapters 2-3)
·How can I get others around me to stop complaining? (Chapter 3)
·How can we affect social change if we don't complain? (Chapter 5)
·Why is it so hard to stop complaining? (Chapters 4-6)
·What happens once I no longer complain? (Chapter 8)
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 10:36:47 PM
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Your thoughts create your world and your words indicate your thoughts. When you eliminate complaining from your life you will enjoy happier relationships, better health and greater prosperity. This simple program helps you set a trap for your own negativity and redirect your mind towards a more positive and rewarding life.
A Complaint Free World, inc. is a non-profit organization.
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Maryjane Lee
True Blue Farmgirl
2195 Posts
Maryjane
CA
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Oct 15 2008 : 11:52:49 PM
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Oh Frannie, I can feel of your sweet spirit through this thread and I am personally grateful to you. You are always so uplifting, positive and encouraging! Thank you dear! You are good for my little heart! While I was reading the different posts, I could actually feel the unsettling tension that some might be experiencing in their lives. I am not putting my head into the sand by no means, and I am not seeing the world through rose colored glasses (although I would love to have a pair by the way!) but positive thinking and talking makes a happier person inside and out. It shows on our face if we are happy or not without being aware of it but others can see it. What we have in our hearts shows up on our face. It affects our families for the good or bad. We all have our ups & downs in life, people we must deal with, awful things happening in the world, etc. but I believe if our hearts are softend, tender and not hardend, life moves a little smoother. Life isn't fair at times but if we speak, think & act the way we want others to act, maybe it will rub off on them and the world will be a better place to live! WHEN WE ARE HAPPIER WITHIN OURSELVES, WE HAVE LESS TO COMPLAIN ABOUT. I know my wording is child-like but that is just me, simple me. I am on the band wagon with you Frannie and hope all your sweetness rubs off on me! Bless your little country heart! xo
Hugs,
Maryjane Lee
Farmgirl Sister #44
http://thebeehivecottage.blogspot.com
http://www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com/
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Edited by - Maryjane Lee on Oct 16 2008 08:23:39 AM |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 05:16:50 AM
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oh thank you sweet maryjane lee. yes, dear friends, i did feel a little tension happenin' in this thread (and by the way, i wish to be very honest with all of you true friends, it is the very reason that i have recently tucked myself into my safe little 'frannieville' and do most of my postings there. and sadly it is why i read very few postings anymore. i try to only write up-lifting things .. share things i have discovered along my personal path in life.
of late, i've ONLY been SCANNING the topics quickly for things of interest or 'friendly faces' .. i almost always e-mail my responses rather than posting them to threads where i wish to say a little sumpthin'.
i did see a topic of interest recently and read some of the postings and ... well, let's jus' say, 'unhappy soul stuff' .. and that prompted me to make another attempt at sharing my heart in a 'new' thread. well .. honey-doos .. that won't happen again. and i will indeed also read 'less' .. sooo .. if i don't respond to things .. please know it is not because i don't care .. it is simply that i choose to live a cheerful (and oh lordy ... with only a week to go before my little "o") ... as stress-free a life as i can make for me.
soooo .. for the first time since i started visiting ya'll in 'frannieville' .. i have had a sleepless night .. i am so sorry that ANY words or thoughts that i want to share could cause any rancor amongst us .. whatsoever!
now, please, please, please no one interpret these heart-felt words to cause any further 'unsettlement' in any of you dear friends).
it's the SOMETIMES 'division' of our hearts on the forum that so saddens me. and while i believe we have much in common .. it is indeed also, as sweet maryjane lee says, "putting our heads into the sand" from time to time when we pretend this is not so.
it is my prayer that we all search our hearts and i do believe this 'separation' would close and we will all be of 'one heart'. i do believe THAT is the world that maryjane butters truly offered to us here.
i 'strongly' believe it is truly o.k. to have differing opinions .. but gurlfrenz .. if we would all not only NOT COMPLAIN .. but if we would 'prayerfullly' .. or 'thoughtfully' RE-READ what we post before we hit that SEND button ..
i do believe this 'unsettling tension' that maryjane lee writes of .. would not happen.
i thank everyone from the depths of my heart for NOT bringing any of that into 'frannieville' ... if that indeed, does ever start to happen .. i will simply send all my love to everyone and walk down other paths.
i've decided to NOT post any more in this thread .. (i'm sad that i tried it again .. and it jus' didn't work happily for me) .. but that is o.k. ... i am joyous in my little frannieville thread and i do see that lots of you sweet friends do visit to see what i've been 'conjuring up' in this happy little life of mine.
i mean absolutely no offense to anyone who has posted in this thread ... i love you all
xoxo, frannie
p.s. come visit me in 'frannieville'
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 06:32:58 AM
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Frannie- which link do we click to visit you in Frannieville...
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 08:42:36 AM
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Frannie! You dear! I fear that I am the one here who has created the tension that you are sensing and please forgive me. That was most definitely NOT my intent. I didn't have an ounce of negativity in my mind or fingertips as I was writing. I was sitting here serene as can be writing out my 'big fat mouth' thoughts! I'm so sorry if I put any kind of damper on you or what it is you are trying to share.
I couldn't agree with you more that different strokes for different folks is the name of the game. No doubt. If my comment about the wrist bracelets rubbed the wrong way please understand that it merely represents my cynicism over what has become material superficiality for deep-seated soulful reflection. I understand that people are where they are on this path of life. Everyone is doing the best they can with where they are and if wearing a bracelet helps, well then more power to them. I understand fully.. I just get suspicious of it is all.
The idea of not complaining is wonderful and I can tell from the chapters you've outlined that true depth of this idea is what is encouraged. I appreciate that more than I can say.
You see, I am in a place in life right now of profound struggle. Every week that I go the children's hospital for my daughter's treatment I encounter parents in various stages of their children's cancers. Some are heading toward cure and some are heading toward death and there is everything in between. It is more than gripping and every time I go I encounter some one who reaches out in some way needing to express their feelings to someone they know fully understands. I can't tell you how often I've heard, "I just don't want to say anything to my friends because I don't want to seem like I'm complaining all the time."
It didn't occur to me until I read your recent post that this example is the foundation for my current skepticism. These are people with valid woe who are overly sensitive about how they are coming across to others, especially those on the outside of the world of cancer. Likewise, there are families who are so positive that their genuineness comes into question. People wonder, "are they in denial of some kind?" So it is an odd catch 22 where if one complains they are being negative perhaps even adding to the demise of health. Conversely if they are too positive, then there are accusations of denying the gravity of the situation. I get a sense that people feel very confused about emotions that are already on a scale beyond what many know and understand. I know this is sometimes my own struggle.
I suppose what I was trying to say and didn't very well is that I firmly believe there is a great difference between "woe is me" complaining, "blaming complaining" or pure "negative projection complaining" that typically has either a self-pity or a mean-spirited flavor versus recognizing that where there are positives in life, there are negatives too. Both represent a kind of duality that show us the extremes and it is my believe that we must live somewhere in the balance of those extremes without judgment or reservation.
I was also trying to express my whole-hearted belief that how we say what we say matters a great deal, which I think is what the Rev. Bowen is talking about when he refers to intent. I like to use the word mindfulness as I mentioned earlier. I'm sensitive about the idea of complaining, obviously. I don't want to feel like I can't share my woe for fear of complaining or not being able to see the bright side. I find that idea harmful. I also don't want to complain for complaining's sake and I don't think I do. However, I pray that when thoughts come out of my mouth or my fingertips that they are provocative, thoughtful, considerate and mindful.
You know, one thing I over-looked in your post was your comment by wearing the bracelets so you can pass along the idea to others and as I was washing dishes that thought came flooding over me and I came back and re-read your post. I'm sorry I missed it the first time.
Frannie, the thought of offending you or hurting your feelings or dampening your spirit is like imaging me trying to clip the wings of a fairy. I'm devastated by it and I humbly apologize. I know sometimes what I write can be forceful but please know that my attempt is to come from a heart-filled place!
~julia hayes
ps: Jeannie, THANK YOU for your comments.. it totally helped because I was feeling like a real bone-head and big fat party-pooper!
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
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Across the Fence: let's all try to NOT complain |
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let's all try to NOT complain
