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Across the Fence:  let's all try to NOT complain  |
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 11:59:04 AM
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When I re-read all these posts, I actually think we are all on the same page . . . complaining just for the sake of complaining I believe is what Frannie is addressing. Some people get caught up in the spiral of negativity and it somehow becomes a part of their "identity." I think we all know some of these people and they can be hard to be around. Constantly complaining about the service at a restaurant, the slow line at the grocery store, etc. I think this is the type of complaining we need to be on the watch for . . . that, and the constant "hen pecking" many of us have made an art form of on our poor husbands! However, when I read these posts, I don't think Frannie is saying not to have an opinion about the things that matter most to you . . . things of spiritual value or even political. I have some strong political convictions and I know many of you do too. I also have strong thoughts on the Bailout Bond and on several other current issues in the U.S. This is not "complaining," but rather voicing my civil rights. When it becomes a problem on this forum is when we overstep others beliefs or convictions. So, for the aspect of how I will treat others . . . will I treat everyone with the kindness and respect they deserve . . . I am totally on board with Frannie. We can still be the individual, strong thinkers that each of us Farmgirls are . . . to lose that would make us simply mindless robots . . . but we can do it with true farmgirl grace and compassion. Hugs to all of you . . . especially you Frannie and you Julia. You are both on the same page . . . you just started explaining it at a different spot in the book!
Hugs & blessings,
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 1:28:06 PM
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I'm glad to see that the author addresses this in his book: "How can we affect social change if we don't complain? (Chapter 5)" My first thoughts when I starting reading the thread were much like Julia's, and I'm glad you said it so well Julia. Anytime someone in authority, like the author of a book, tells me "stop complaining"...well, that just doesn't set well. If it weren't for complaining, we wouldn't have an 8 hour workday, or the right to vote (any of us-men or women).
I'm pretty sure the complaining that this book is talking about is the "spiral of negativity" that Brenda describes: that constant grousing and fault finding that makes some people so hard to spend time with.
But I'm so shocked and sorry that negativity is all Frannie sees when she comes to this forum. I truly didn't think we were such a miserable lot of grumps. |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 1:30:37 PM
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| Sorry, forgot to add: We all have our ups and downs, of course. I think a lot of people tend to not talk about the things that are really bothering them, and it's good to have a place to go when you have to say: "I don't know what to do and I can't take any more! Help!" |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 16 2008 : 4:12:16 PM
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julia sweetie .. i'm sending you an e-mail. i have your precious daughter in my prayer box and remember her every day. xo
amie darlin .. i've read and re-read my postings and jus' can't find anywhere that i've said 'negativity is ALL i see when i come to the forum.' (were that so .. i would have left long ago.)
this is what i said: it's the SOMETIMES 'division' of our hearts on the forum that so saddens me. (lordy! i even CAPITALIZED 'SOMETIMES'. xoxo
"But I'm so shocked and sorry that negativity is all Frannie sees when she comes to this forum. I truly didn't think we were such a miserable lot of grumps."
... (nope! nope! ... not in my nature to think or say such a thing.)
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Edited by - CabinCreek-Kentucky on Oct 16 2008 4:21:30 PM |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 05:06:04 AM
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Sorry, Frannie. I wasn't intending that to be direct quote. I thought that "negativity" was the jist of what you were saying when you said that you no longer wanted to read threads or post on them because it made you too unhappy and tense. The words you used were "division of our hearts", "unhappy soul stuff", "separation". That all sounds like pretty negative stuff. And if that's how you feel, that's really suprising and upsetting to me. I just don't see that here on the message board. Makes me wonder, what am I missing? Am I just so out of touch with emotions that I don't pick up on what's obvious to everyone else?
If this is the kind of thing that makes you tense, feel free to send me a personal email instead of posting here :) |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 05:32:51 AM
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Julia! How inspiring and I agree with you...love the way you express yourself. I want you to write a book now! 
Thank you Frannie for starting this topic! How awesome!
My simple mind can understand the term "attitude of gratitude" and also "mindfullness".
For me I could work on "speaking my own truth with love"
Don't worry...be happy! 
Smile! It's hard to complain with a sincere smile on my face.
Linda in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
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Yes! I live in the Scranton, PA "The Office" TV show is based on! LOL LOL
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Edited by - yarnmamma on Oct 17 2008 05:53:50 AM |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 07:08:35 AM
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Farmgirls! Frannie-Fairy and I have had the most wonderful exchanges! Not to worry! Amie I burst out laughing with one of your replies. I haven't used the word "grump" in forever and I'm going to use it all day long. Cracked me up! I think you were right to sense Frannie's feelings, who has simply been subject to some negative ju-ju here from time to time and wants only to protect herself from further hurt. I think most of us can agree that things here are mighty positive and lovely and when things get sticky things get resolved one way or another.
Brenda, you have such a gentle spirit! I swear. I loved your post.
Linda, I was thinking of you yesterday all afternoon. I don't know what it was! I was thinking about the hat you made Aria with the gorgeous Fall colors and will be pulling that out today because I just have to have it out where I can see it! So wonderful!! You are VERY sweet to encourage me to write. I've written and submitted articles to 2 different magazines and have been rejected both time. I did receive the nicest reject letters ever though! I think it is just toughening my skin and strengthening my backbone for when I do finally finish a book that I'm writing about Aria. Yes indeed Farmgirl sisters.. There it is..I've officially announced it. I'm writing a book about our journey with leukemia! Now that I've admitted it, I'm going to need a whole heap of encouragement to actually show it to someone someday! Linda, your words of encouragement were HUGE for me...that goes for you too Jeannie and the rest of you ladies! My love and laughter! ~julia
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 07:28:29 AM
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Julia, good luck with the book. Writing can be scary. I'm sure you'll get lots of encouragement here, where there are so many people who love you and Aria.
Grump. Grump. Grump. It's a word that's more fun than what it means. |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 07:46:49 AM
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Oh My God Amie! Crack me up!!! I don't know what it is...something about the way this word rolls really appeals to my totally immature side!! Oh, I needed that laugh! Grump-on Sister! ~julia
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 08:29:46 AM
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amie sweetie .. i posted my reply here because i didn't want anyone else to think i had said those words.
rather than e-mailing privately .. i am going to post this here because of your sweet words:
AMIE: We all have our ups and downs, of course. I think a lot of people tend to not talk about the things that are really bothering them, and it's good to have a place to go when you have to say: "I don't know what to do and I can't take any more! Help!"
i do indeed tend to not SHARE some of the things that 'bother me' .. i just smile and cover it with my 'pollyanna' la-de-da' personality ...
but it becomes like a 'sandwich' with little things i read now and then tucked and tucked and tucked inside that sandwich until it is too hard to 'hold' anymore without spilling over ... SOOOOO .. i honestly don't think i even 'think' about it .. but my way of making that sandwich more manageable to eat ... is to post something HAPPY!
i believe hearing and seeing and doing such uplifting things and reading words as those of Rev. Bowen's makes me want to run and share these terrific thoughts with all my ya-ya's .. and THAT is how i release too much 'stuff' in that sammie!
but, as my nannie usta' say: 'dooooooooooooo jeeeeeeeezuz!!!' .. when what i thought was a KIND and SHARING thing gets mis-interpeted ... WOWZER .. that sandwich gets all stuffed again!
lordy! does that silly 'analogy' make sense to ya'll?
anyhoo ... to somewhat quote that line from A FISH CALLED WANDA .. where the guy is being held upside down by his feet .. out a window "i apologize for anything i may have said in any past lives or in this one, anything am saying now .or might say in the future" .. that may sound the least bit 'negative'
... that truly is NOT my 'intention' or 'nature' to do so.
soooo ... i'm gonna' let all ya'll know what has 'bothered' me (quotin' ya' here miz amy... thanks!) and IF this indeed sounds like a 'complaint' to anyone's ears ... well .. THWACK! i jus' switched my 'complaint bracelet'!!!
anyone .. please feel free to respond to anything i say in a LOVING and CARING way. as that is the exact way .. i am going to say what i am going to say below: (hugs and kisses xoxoxoxoxo)
======================
there are still some things i wish to share with everyone .. and only hope that everyone "hears my words and heart" as i intend them as i type/say them as this is very important to me.
division of our souls/unhappy soul stuff/separation is indeed sad .. but i do not see it as a 'negative' when we are sharing our hearts in a loving way .. and THAT is my only intention. again .. that important word that Rev. Bowen uses over and over again ... INTENTION.
amie, what you you wrote does not make me feel 'tense' because i believe it is your intention to share your thoughts with me .. the first posting .. where you felt that "negativity is all Frannie sees when she comes to this forum" ... did, indeed, make me feel 'unhappy' because that is not at all what i said or feel about ALL i see when i come to this forum.
how i have read some posts in the past .. (and YESTERDAY .. i have been on the forum for THREE YEARS) .. and i've made almost 8,500 posts myself ... have not always been kind or un-complaining.
i know for a fact that we have lost some dear sisters here over time because they have felt directly stung by some replies .. or they felt ignored .. or felt bad for someone they love dearly because of replies they have read directed at them. and THAT is absolute TRUTH!
and quite honestly, i did and still do believe it is an excellent idea to always be 'careful/mindful' of what we do post. i try to imagine that i am sitting across the dinner table with mary jane herself at her magnificent farm in idaho .. and we are having all manner of discussions .. and i try to respond as respectuflly to EVERYONE as i would to her. to (somewhat) quote a bumper sticker i used to see quite a bit: WWMJD?
i heard the author of this book being interviewed and was extremely impressed with his 'concept' of bettering ourselves and thereby bettering the world .. and wanted to share his book and philosophy .. that was my only intention.
again, i truly don't mean this as one of those postings that would make ANYONE feel bad .. i am just sharing my beliefs .. and it is MY belief that it is 'o.k.' to share with others when we are concerned that someone has 'misunderstood' what we wrote. dearheart if you think what i wrote is 'pretty negative stuff' .. i am sorry that you saw it that way .. again .. from the bottom of my heart . .that was NEVER my INTENTION. i am not 'tense' about how this 'thread' has turned out .. just 'saddened' at some of the replies. but i do love that we are all 'talking with love' to a better understanding of each other.
there are FAR more wonderful, supportive things said here on the forum than "not" .. and i know THAT from three years of reading and posting .. and i know that sometimes we mayhaps speak too soon .. and some of our gurlfrenz just 'walk away' .. i know that there are 'personality' differences .. and that we sometimes allow some 'personalities' to jus' (to quote my little grand-daughter): GET ON OUR FUS' NUV!"
i believe friendship is built on trust and care for each other ... and i also believe that JUST 'complaining' has a negative effect on ourselves and those around us. THIS is NOT to be confused with 'righteousness' .. speaking out and working for something that is important to us. THAT is not AT ALL the COMPLAINING ... the 'concept' that this book is all about and which i was sharing in my original posting.
well, ya-ya's ... i hope i have lovingly made my heart and thoughts known to each and every one of you.
NOW .. i gotta' git my britches on .. cuz' i'm meeting gurlfren Luna for some 'antiquing' and lunch in SONORA .. ohhhhhhh miz BRENDA .. are you listenin'? i'll e-mail you to see if you can join us! HA! this plan was hatched at 4:30 this morning!
have a lovely 'complaint-free' day gurlfrenz! xoxoxo
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 09:15:18 AM
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| Thanks for clearing that up, Frannie. I'm glad things aren't as bad as I thought. It really does all come down to personalities, I guess. We don't all deal with life the same way. |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 09:16:33 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by julia hayes
Oh My God Amie! Crack me up!!! I don't know what it is...something about the way this word rolls really appeals to my totally immature side!! Oh, I needed that laugh! Grump-on Sister! ~julia
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com
Thank goodness for immaturity!
Grump.
I think I see why the word is so funny. It sounds like a happy pig that's just tickled pink to be rooting around in a big pile of troubles. |
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 12:00:21 PM
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Amie!! I'm dying over here!! I live WAYYYYYY too far away from you and that makes me grumpy!!! You hit the nail on the head with piggy-poo rooting around in a big pile of troubles! I thought I would fall off my chair!!! That is going to ring in my head all day today! Awesome because I'm facing scrubbing some toilets and I needed a good laugh to keep me going! ~julia
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 12:21:38 PM
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Here in the Scranton, PA area we had a baseball team named the Red Barons and the mascot was THE GRUMP. He was a green fuzzy character, in costume about 10 ft tall...looked like a bear of some sort...my son called him the GROUCH (from Sesami Street Oscar the Grouch). LOL
The Red Barons are no longer here and I never learned why the mascot was called the GRUMP....LOL !!
Linda in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
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Yes! I live in the Scranton, PA "The Office" TV show is based on! LOL LOL
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 1:01:18 PM
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Glad to be of assistance, Julia. :)
I don't remember the Red Barons, Linda. They probably played against the Rochester Red Wings, but I'm not much of a baseball fan. But what a funny choice for a mascot. I do love The Office, though.
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julia hayes
True Blue Farmgirl
1132 Posts
julia
medical lake
wa
USA
1132 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 1:15:40 PM
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What's the office? did I miss something? ~julia
being simple to simply be
Farmgirl #30
www.julia42.etsy.com |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2008 : 2:50:41 PM
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| The TV show "The Office", which is set in Scranton, PA. Very funny! |
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5 acre Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1007 Posts
~~~*Terri*~~~
WA.
USA
1007 Posts |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 06:17:36 AM
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Terri .. i so agree ... and even though sometimes we think it is small and insignificant (the little complaints) .. many times those who listen to us may pick up on our negativity.
ha! using my 'diabetes' bracelet (oh but i do want one of those purple SPIRIT ones though) .. somehow has helped to more closely 'tune me in' on my words. it is something that i now CONSCIOUSLY do .. listen carefully to MYSELF when i am speaking. and i do it seriously .. but at the same time with a light-hearted view. the light-heartedness seems to make 'others' aware by laughing with me .. when i THWACK myself .. and 'share' with those listening to me .. that i am trying to become very aware about 'complaining just for the sake of complaining' .. and absolutely everyone has joined in with a smile and told me this is a great idea .. mayhaps, they, too, will adapt this more 'conscious' awareness of their words. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! what a wunnerful world it would be if we all joined in.
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Bellepepper
True Blue Farmgirl
1207 Posts
Belle
Coffeyville
KS
USA
1207 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 12:54:35 PM
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| Woops!! I think I just complained, over on another topic, about my grandkids not returning my canning jars. |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 2:48:21 PM
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Julia, it's nice to think about you also. Keep writing!
Yes, I think it is a habit to criticize or complain, I will pay closer attention to my words and thoughts.
Part of the attitude of gratitude keeps me from self-pity also.
This is a very inspiring topic!
Linda in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
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Yes! I live in the Scranton, PA "The Office" TV show is based on! LOL LOL
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 2:52:58 PM
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I drove to the psychiatric children's hospital today to see my son. Thank God for the blessings we have. He will be coming home in a few days and as some of us know, when we live with serious sickness all we have is one day at a time.
I look forward to his chatter and crave to play some games with him. Seeing kids in a hospital is a sobering thing. They laugh and play like any child and I don't hear alot of complaining even in a psycho ward!
Linda in Scranton, PA
farmgirl #71
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Yes! I live in the Scranton, PA "The Office" TV show is based on! LOL LOL
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2008 : 7:18:03 PM
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linda ... may god bless your sweet son and all the children. i do believe that so much of childhood's innocence is lost as we grow older .. and our children listen carefully to what we say too! it is so important to set a good example .. and we could be as happy as a child too if we just learn from them. xoxo
True Friends * KENTUCKY FRANNIE
adopt a 'rag-chile'
http://sistermercysfoundlinhome.blogspot.com
treasures .. new and olde .. http://mudpiemanormercantile.blogspot.com
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Across the Fence: let's all try to NOT complain |
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let's all try to NOT complain
