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Keeping in Touch:  Danger of Extinction  |
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deeredawn
True Blue Farmgirl
2306 Posts
Dawn
Cordova
TN
USA
2306 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 11:10:13 AM
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annika, I am thinking of you and your family!
Dawn #279
MJ's Heirloom Mavens-Mother Hen
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DearMildred
True Blue Farmgirl
223 Posts
Amanda
Tulsa
OK
USA
223 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 1:11:54 PM
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Ruth, I got *SO* many seeds from wintersown! I sent two SASE, one for tomatoes and one for the surprise seeds, and they sent me all of my tomato choices *plus* all of my alternates (probably 10 packs of tomato seeds) - all kind of cool varieties - plus some other veggies and many, many flowers.
I read on there that you can even winter sow tomatoes, they are very hardy that way but take a little longer to start producing.
Methinks I will start a couple inside and a couple outside, and compare!
Am I correct in saying that the pop-bottle mini greenhouses and similar construction are basically tiny little cold frames?
Annika, thinking of you!
~~~Amanda in OK~~~
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. ~Will Rogers |
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deeredawn
True Blue Farmgirl
2306 Posts
Dawn
Cordova
TN
USA
2306 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 1:26:28 PM
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okay, I need a sister moment. Most of you know the deal with me and my dd. Well, she calls me today to tell me that she is driving up to stay at a friends house tonight and she will drop by to say hi. I'm like " oh, your dad is allowing you to drive (1.5 hours) up here?" and then she tells me that dad doesnt know, that they got into a huge fight about it and he thinks she's gonna be with friends in her area. So she's staying with this girl who's given more than what should be allowed freedoms. And dd is begging me not to tell dad. Here's the deal. Do I tell her dad who will use this to make me out to be the worst parent ever and risk dd not talking to me like she did a year earlier? (She shut me out for almost 2 years). Or do I keep the secret and worry myself to death? Trouble seems to find my dd like moths to a flame. If something happens, then her dad finds out then he will punish me (child support or take away visitation rights) royally. Or do I keep her secret and be "mom of the year?" I dont really want any part of this. DD will do what she wants, she always has and that's what gets her rowboat hiney in battleship trouble. Some guidance from my girls???
Dawn #279
MJ's Heirloom Mavens-Mother Hen
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LivingWell4You
True Blue Farmgirl
1411 Posts
Karen
Hillsboro
MO
USA
1411 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 1:56:11 PM
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Okay, I'm not a parent so keep that in mind. So here goes: it sounds like you need to decide if this is about you or your daughter. Is it more important that you aren't made to look bad by her dad? Is it more important that she like you and keep talking to you as if everything is okay (which we both know it's not)? Or is more important that she learn what the boundaries are? Because she's testing them right now. You're going to worry either way. Either about her getting hurt or worse with her friend tonight or worrying that she won't talk to you and her dad won't let you see her? You have to decide which one you can live with. And bottom line, this isn't about you. It's about DD.
Either way, we've got your back.
God bless -
Karen ~ Chickherder & KMW (Keeper of Maven Words)
Farmgirl Sister #311
"To own a little bit of ground, to scratch it with a hoe, to plant seeds and watch the renewal of life - this is the commonest delight of the race, the most satisfactory thing a man can do." Charles Dudley Warner |
Edited by - LivingWell4You on Feb 13 2009 1:57:49 PM |
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Lanna
True Blue Farmgirl
330 Posts
Lanna
A little town in Idaho
330 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 2:36:50 PM
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Yeah, I think she's testing boundaries. Especially if she told you.
But I don't know much of the back story or the 2 year freeze-out, so I could be wrong.
I did so many stupid things in my teens (which were in the 90's, so fairly recent). And the *really* stupid things that I don't dare mention on here? Mom will hopefully never, ever know about. That kind of incredible stupid. If she's telling you, unless you've let her slide before, she may be looking to get caught or want an out some way (intentionally, unintentionally, so it's the big bad parents' fault she can't go to a rave or whatever).
And really, you're not going to be able to win "mom of the year" with a teenage daughter - unless you're a Gilmore Girl. It's only after I've grown up that I've started appreciating what my mom did and all that. To tell you the truth, I'm scared to death with how my girl's going to test us. And she's barely 8mo!
So anyway, I guess it could boil down to whether you're DD's friend, or her parent?
*****************
Lanna, mama to three little monkeys |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 3:17:23 PM
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honesty is the best policy..with either teens or adults. if something wound up happening between the 1.5 hour trip from point a to point b how awful would that be?and you and your ex as the adults would both be held accountable..you probably more so because you knew about things and hid them.
your daughter is trying to be both sneaky and devious and dishonest..which is not cool. straight up tell her in a language that she can understand that her actions jeopardize the chances of her getting to see you as she has enjoyed and you have enjoyed and that with you both being adults..address her as an adult..use the word adult..that these things must be handled above board and honestly with all parties involved so as not to take away the priviledges you both have been given.hope it works out.
~I Dream of a Better World..where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!~
blogs:http://gardengoose.blogspot.com/
and http://thevictorygardener.blogspot.com
magazine: www.stliving.net
etsy shops: http://GardenGooseGifts.etsy.com
and http://myvictorygarden.etsy.com |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
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farmmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Kelley
Texas
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 3:22:31 PM
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| oh Dawn, this is a dooozey!!! I am not a parent to teenagers yet, mine are still babies, so i personally have no experience in this department, but, my hubby and i have seen how his (now ex-best friend) raised his kids and we know that we won't do what he did....He was the "best friend" dad to his kids all of their life, literally letting them do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted to, and now they are in high school, and it's BAD!!! Him always being the good parent (aka - cool one) and their mom being the bad parent just made the kids realize that they have no respect for him, and they don't even come close to listening to him! Their stepmother was the only one in their lives who set boundaries and made rules and enforced them, therefore they have respect for her and listen to her, but with her being married to their dad and them all being a "family" under one roof has just turned into dissaster because the two adults in the house never saw eye to eye or followed the same rules as far as raising the kids goes. Anyhow, In my opinion, and it's just an opinion, please remember that! I would probably have to tell your ex what was going on, or tell your DD that you won't go along with the plan because she needs to be honest with her father.....But, like I said...that's just my opinion! I sure will keep you in my thoughts, and pray that all of this turns out for the best!!! I know the last thing you need right now is more stress, but the Big Guy up above doesn't present us with anything that he knows we can't handle!!!! I know that you'll "plow thru" this!!!! Keep us posted!!! Farmgirl Hugs....Kelley |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 3:31:30 PM
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DAwn, I am with Tina, Lanna & karen on this issue. You daughter must know the boundaries and consequences for her actions. You and her dad are responsible for her so I think You talk with Dad tell him you know and sit dd down and telol her iot is NOT ok for her to put you in the middle that You love her and will be there for her but She will have to live with any consequence for any decisions she makes. This is Life in a grown up world and she apparently thinks she is Grown up! Good luck Honey.. My daughters & Son are grown and have kids of theiur own..This was the way it was with them & now with their kids too.. Support them but don't allow them to put you in the middle.
Cheryl
Farmgirl #309
Almost daily posts at:
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Come visit the barn at http://barndoorcreations.blogspot.com/
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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homemom
True Blue Farmgirl
1593 Posts
Ruth
Warwick
RI
USA
1593 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 3:33:56 PM
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Dawn~I do have a teenage daughter and remember pulling some of these stupid kinds of things behind my parents' back. I think you need to just do what is right. You know what your heart is telling you to do~way down deep. It is difficult but she needs to know that you love her so much that you won't let her have her own way whenever she wants too. This situation is just too dangerous too let slide.
Follow your heart. Praying for you~this is really though.
Ruth
Living the farm life in my heart.
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Ruth
http://farmgirlinmyheart.blogspot.com/ |
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 4:30:54 PM
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Dawn - I am in agreement with the others, but oh man what a hard decision. I think back to the things I did and it is a miracle I didn't get hurt and it would have broken my parents heart if I had, especially because, as your DD, I wouldn't have let them know how to find me - extra heartbreak. I still carry loads of guilt for being a black sheep/wild child - I thought for myself but I also didn't think about anyone but myself.
I love you farmgirlfriend- we all have your back and are sending you maven thoughts!!
Good luck with this
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
Heirloom Mavens Badge Badger |
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 4:32:45 PM
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Oh - and bluegrass was great, had a good time, not enough sleep:) and today it was 42 degrees!!!!!!
Amy Grace
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
Heirloom Mavens Badge Badger |
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deeredawn
True Blue Farmgirl
2306 Posts
Dawn
Cordova
TN
USA
2306 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 5:18:41 PM
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Well....I finally came to the conclusion that I'm a parent. In no uncertain terms I told her that I was completely against her plan, and that she's had enough trouble this year and to use her head. She wants to get into a program at school for sports medicine and I reminded her that her actions "away from school" still have an effect on whether or not she's gets intot his program. they dont just let any hooligan into it. So... at this moment she 'says' she's stayed home. At least I'm off the hook here. So if she's told me that and she's NOT home, and gets into trouble, at least I told her how I felt and it WILL be all on her own accord.
I know I can't be a mom and a friend, but when you've had custoday ripped away from you (after 13 years) in the manner I did, believe me, you do what you can to keep the peace. My ex in-laws are mafioso like. And I'm not kidding. When you're part of the family you're golden, when you are on the outside, your life is a living "hot spot". This family has put me thru unbelievable challenges. I really try not to rock the boat.
So thank you sis's. I so appreciate the "reality check". Now I can fret over whether or not she's driven 1.5 hours to party with friends, or if she's really home. Can't call EX, cuz I know she didn't tell him the truth. And he'd warp whatever I said to him to his benefit anyhow.
That's all the drama from me. It's been enough.
Next drama.... what the heck are ya'll plantin in? I've used all my containers, my terra pots, I'm using cake pans for cryin out loud.... I'm OUT OF ROOM TO PLANT!!!!
Dawn #279
MJ's Heirloom Mavens-Mother Hen
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homemom
True Blue Farmgirl
1593 Posts
Ruth
Warwick
RI
USA
1593 Posts |
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K-Falls Farmgirl
Chapter Leader
2096 Posts
Cheryl
Klamath Falls
Oregon
USA
2096 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 5:51:49 PM
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Dawn.. You are one awesome mom... She will learn consequences for her actions with these guidelines you have drawn for her. The hard part is being strong and consistant. Good luck girlfriend. Too bad growing up has to be so hard huh?
Cheryl
Farmgirl #309
Almost daily posts at:
http://www.k-fallsfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
Come visit the barn at http://barndoorcreations.blogspot.com/
Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.
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LivingWell4You
True Blue Farmgirl
1411 Posts
Karen
Hillsboro
MO
USA
1411 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 5:52:19 PM
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Way to step up to the plate, mom.
Newspaper pots - those of you that make them, do you use the wooden pot-maker things I've seen in catalogs or do them free form or something else? If it's #2 or #3, how do you do them? I'm trying to make little pots out of toilet paper rolls with limited success.
God bless -
Karen ~ Chickherder & KMW (Keeper of Maven Words)
Farmgirl Sister #311
"To own a little bit of ground, to scratch it with a hoe, to plant seeds and watch the renewal of life - this is the commonest delight of the race, the most satisfactory thing a man can do." Charles Dudley Warner |
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DearMildred
True Blue Farmgirl
223 Posts
Amanda
Tulsa
OK
USA
223 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 6:17:57 PM
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Dawn, good job today!
And my first thought about your ex-in-laws was, "Are they from Youngstown?!?" I grew up just a little south of there. :D
Planting pots - hmmm... I have been eyeballing my recyclables lately, my egg cartons and yogurt cups and all those plastic salad containers... have also seen (on the wintersown website somewhere) somebody used small freezer bags! The kind with the zipper!
Here's a link showing a bunch of homemade/recycled - i especially like the paper pots down at the bottom. Looks pretty easy to me! http://wintersown.org/wseo1/Photo_Share.html
On the Farmgirls blog somewhere I read to just wrap the newspaper around a pop can, slide it off a little and fold together the bottom, masking tape and viola! done!
~~~Amanda in OK~~~
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves. ~Will Rogers |
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LivingWell4You
True Blue Farmgirl
1411 Posts
Karen
Hillsboro
MO
USA
1411 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 6:27:53 PM
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Amanda, the seeds we've started so far are in eggs cartons and eggshells. I started saving yogurt cups this week (wish I hadn't just gone to the recycling center) and am looking around for more containers. Wrap the paper around a pop can - aha! The toilet paper pots are easy - just cut the tube in half horizontally (now you have 2 small tubes), cut four slits half the width of the tube around the bottom and fold them in like you would a box lid. I haven't planted anything in them yet because I wasn't sure how sturdy the bottoms would be and thought dirt would leak out. After going to the WS site, they mentioned putting a little newspaper in the bottom of their paper pots and I think that would do the trick. I'll let you know..............
God bless -
Karen ~ Chickherder & KMW (Keeper of Maven Words)
Farmgirl Sister #311
"To own a little bit of ground, to scratch it with a hoe, to plant seeds and watch the renewal of life - this is the commonest delight of the race, the most satisfactory thing a man can do." Charles Dudley Warner |
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 7:01:04 PM
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Great minds think alike Mavens:D
I have saved egg cartons and yogurt containers too - then I have enough little starter plant pots from bedding plants over the last few years I think to get me through.
Still too early to plant here though, especially since I won't be home for an 11 day period in March - DH and DS will have their hands full keeping themselves and the pets alive, my plants would perish
Amy Grace
(Oh - and Dawn, good job parenting, it is the most thankless job isn't it? I'm still thinking about you!!)
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
Heirloom Mavens Badge Badger |
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LivingWell4You
True Blue Farmgirl
1411 Posts
Karen
Hillsboro
MO
USA
1411 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2009 : 8:07:05 PM
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Happy Valentine's Day eve ~ the latest edition of the Maven's Haven is now posted.
God bless -
Karen ~ Chickherder & KMW (Keeper of Maven Words)
Farmgirl Sister #311
"To own a little bit of ground, to scratch it with a hoe, to plant seeds and watch the renewal of life - this is the commonest delight of the race, the most satisfactory thing a man can do." Charles Dudley Warner |
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farmmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Kelley
Texas
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2009 : 06:22:30 AM
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| hey dawn, glad eberything turned out ok! if you are really busy and crunched for time, maybe you should use the little paper mouth rinsing bathroom cups...i know, it's not exactly recyling what you already have, but like i said, if you have your plate full and are short on time....and all you have to do is poke a few holes in the bottom.....and you can but those that are biodegradable....or if you get the regular ones....just put them in with your paper recyclables when you're done with them!!! Hey ya'll...HAPY VALENTINES DAY!!!! am gonna go in a minute andgo lokk at some chickens with the gal i talked to yesterday!!! She seemed SSOOOOO farmgirl,,,I hope she is.....and, since I have an extra copy of the MJF mag, I'm gonna take it to her wether I buy some hens or not!!!!! OH.....I also have a couple of emails from some of ya'll that I can't open....my comp is giving me mega probs for last 2 days,,,,so, i promise I'm not ignoring ya'll....just can't open or use my email right now....urgggg!!! took me forever just to get on here and be able to post!! Ruth, my hubby found a yellow slip in our PO Box from earlier this week he forgot to tell me about untill last night....Yay! It's pobabaly your package!!! I will go first thing Monday AM to seee!!!! Ya'll have a wonderful weekend....can't wait to see what everyone did for VAL day!!!.....Kelley |
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Contrary Wife
True Blue Farmgirl
2164 Posts
Teresa Sue
Tekoa
WA
USA
2164 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2009 : 06:22:49 AM
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Hi Mavens,
Dawn, as the survivor of three teenage daughters, I feel for you. Good call. At the very least of consequences, your daughter would have had blackmail on you to get her way another time. You know she understands the dynamics of her/your ex family.
Yes!AG it was beautiful yesterday wasn't it!
Well, I don't have all my blocks cut for my customers, but I'm ready for today(second Sat of the month is when they come to get their monthly block) I'm hoping to finish next week, well, it sounds good anyway, lol
Teresa Sue
Farmgirl Sister #316
Planting Zone 3
"Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly." The Dalai Lama |
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Corinnelouise
True Blue Farmgirl
957 Posts
Corinne
France
957 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2009 : 06:39:36 AM
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Dawn, you've impressed me many times and I know you will do it again.
Fantastic job on your phone call to DD, I am sure all this rebellion is not easy on her as well and she is trying to look both grown up and your little girl. She is also learning what is acceptable and what is not and you are her role model. Never compromise for cheap and quick, they do not last.
You did really great as a mom and as a sister, I am so proud of you for analyzing the situation and answering it your way with the understanding of the specific dynamic involved here.
All the advices here were great.
Teresa Sue, you are doing great. Are you ever wanting to cut any block after that round ? hehehe
Mavens, I have decide to send you undates on the new Mavens once a week only, I feel I have flooded you with emails this week and that is a simpler way to do it.
I have the planting zone of half the Mavens flook only, drop me a line please so I can complete the list for next week.
Have a great saturday,
Corinne
Sister # 101 |
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Contrary Wife
True Blue Farmgirl
2164 Posts
Teresa Sue
Tekoa
WA
USA
2164 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2009 : 06:42:34 AM
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Yes, Corinne, I will cut more blocks, hopefully for ME!!hehe
Teresa Sue
Farmgirl Sister #316
Planting Zone 3
"Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly." The Dalai Lama |
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Corinnelouise
True Blue Farmgirl
957 Posts
Corinne
France
957 Posts |
Posted - Feb 14 2009 : 06:45:00 AM
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Hey, you take one task a day and that is great accomplishment.
Thanks for you kind words yesterday you made me blush.
Corinne
Sister # 101 |
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Keeping in Touch: Danger of Extinction |
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Danger of Extinction
