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Across the Fence:  Checking in...just for a minute...  |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 08:42:01 AM
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Hi My farmgirl friends…I just wanted to check in. I left you all in the dark about things and I have some time before class to check in. This one might get long…so grab some coffee or chocolate or a comfy kitty, and sit a spell. Ok.ready?? Here we go…
I had a breakdown of sorts. Not the typical middle age type, but mental none the less. I was actually shaking from panic attacks and getting stress headaches. I FINALLY had my say with my parents. They were actually thinking of coming here in October, only to recant a week later because wouldn’t it be so much easier for me to go there. I know they don’t want to come here for one reason…well a few actually…they are too self absorbed to go out of their way for anyone, or at least me, and my dad thinks my house is dirty because of my dog. Yep…these are the same parents that smoked 2 packs on cigarettes a day, never opening a window and they smell like ash trays when you get within a foot of them. This is the same dad who even to this day, only bathes 2x a month. No kidding here. Yep..I am the gross one??? Then, Yes, let me quit school and my internship, put the dog in boarding, still pay for daycare so when I get back, I will have a spot, pack up all of Charlie’s belongings, including a car seat, diapers, bedding, clothing, sippy cups, along with packing myself, let me pay $ 800 for tickets (yes, I checked), rent a car when I get there, get a room for week (my parents smoke and I CAN”T tolerate it) and plus the cost of gas, food, extras and the hassle of traveling with a 2 ½ year old to see people he has no clue exists in his life. I JUST LOST IT and I told them I was done. I am no longer doing emails, cards, notes, NADDA…with anyone in the family. No one has come to see us in 3 years and before that last fateful visit, no one has ever come to see us before that. I have been working my backside off since April, when Scott moved us here and left for deployment. I have not gotten ONE single email, phone call, card..nothing.. from anyone- relative or friends in the 5 months Scott has been gone. And, neither has Scott. I have sent off pictures, remembered birthdays, made videos, made phone calls. Etc..and we have got nothing back. So Scott and I agreed we are done…with everyone. My parents were the straw that broke this cowgirl’s horse. HA!!!
The can’t GRASP WHY I am going to college (waste of time and money, I should JUST be a Mom) Like Just being a Mom, a single Mom at that, is all I will ever be to them, which is low on their totem pole. My sister keeps sending me emails and cards to “save me” (and I don’t mean disrespect to anyone’s religion, it is just REALLY REALLY ANNOYING when I have told her my stance so now, she only emails and send cards because she is too chicken s**t to pick up the phone, ,,,excuse my French.) Or I get military themed emails telling me I need to thank my Soldiers or do something for them from the very parents that never supported me one IOTA when I joined, nor are they supporting me in any capacity right now.
So, here I am. Second day of College…yeah..MY BIRTHDAY>>YEAH!!! Starting a new leaf in my life. Scott called me and we decided to be done with our families and supposed friends and move on. We are selling or donating anything given to us by friends or family, as we just need to make a fresh start. I am also selling some other things. So big yard sale probably next Spring. For now, everything is in bins in the garage and I am VERY VERY VERY Happy!!!
I got a FREE membership to theYMCA for being a spouse of a deployed soldier, so I am getting to work out for free and I take Charlie to the pool. It is a lot of fun and I love the water.
I wanted to Thank all of you, my dear TRUE farmgirl friends. It amazes me I have never “met” any of you, but I feel closer to you than any family member or friend in my past. And that is EXACTLY what it is….my past…
I am sending big hugs and kisses to all of you for being their for me. I ask today for you to light a candle for my birthday and wish ALL a very happy, healthy fresh beginning, full of love, joy, happiness and lots of steak and chocolate… : )
Thanks ladies. You are truly in my thoughts everyday though I may not visit here quite as often.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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Jami
True Blue Farmgirl
1238 Posts
Jami
Ellensburg
WA
USA
1238 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 08:48:25 AM
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Great to hear from you Heather and know you're better than okay! I was sorry to hear of the "ordeal" you went through lately but sounds like some real clarity has come from it and you've made the decisions that are best for you. Study hard and have fun at the Y and with Charlie and take good care of yourself and oh yeah...HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope it's a great day.
Thinking of you.
Jami in WA
Farmgirl Sister #266
http://woolyinwashington.wordpress.com/ |
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electricdunce
True Blue Farmgirl
2544 Posts
Karin
Belmont
ME
USA
2544 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 09:00:11 AM
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Goodness, I know where you are coming from. I'm sure you have made the right decision. Just because people are family doesn't mean you have to put up with crap from them. I'm old now, but my friends have mostly been my family for years, that is the thrill of being an adult, you get to build a whole new family with much better results. Some of my family are very dear to me, but there's a lot of them I just don't deal with anymore.I hope you have a lovely birthday. And how great that you get a membership to the Y. Charlie is lucky to have such a smart mom...
Karin
Farmgirl Sister #153
"Give me shelter from the storm" - Bob Dylan
http://moodranch.blogspot.com
http://domesticnonsense.etsy.com |
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ruralfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
4309 Posts
Rene'
Prosser
WA
USA
4309 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 09:06:28 AM
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Hey Heather,
I have been wondering about you~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEAUTIFUL HEATHER.... HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~ If you were here, you would know what a "gift" it is that you couldnt actually hear me sing this :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzyV1hm0c18
I am sending you a birthday song~ perfect for you~ I wish I were there to hug you and to make you laugh all day long. It is a sad realization that some of us get to come to early and that is that "we have to give ourselves, what others cannot" and also that People can only give what they have... while we wish everyone had the capacity to love that we need them to... they often dont... I have found that when I needed a mom~ some wonderful lady would show up in my live to mother me, and when I needed a sister~ if I left my heart open she would appear.... I hope this day you will choose to leave your heart open for finding "family" in a new way~ Blessing and happy birthday!
Rene~Prosser Farmgirl #185
"Despite the gardener's best intentions, Nature will improvise. ~Michael P. Garafalo
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82kygal
True Blue Farmgirl
548 Posts
Laura
Somerset
Kentucky
USA
548 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 09:12:28 AM
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Heather, I know where you are coming from. I went to my mom and dads 50th (family reunion only to get the cold shoulder from most of my sisters and brother. I moved away to better ourselves. Now I am considered the Black sheep of the family. I found out from a friend of mine that my sister was telling her daughter in law what to expect when I arrived as I am a little different. What I am is my own person that had the courage to move away from the family. I was really wanting to move back to be closer but things are much clearer now and I have accepted where I am and I am happy about it. I have a great hubby and two wonderful sons and stepkids and a grandbaby and that is just fine with me.
I want to wish you a Happy Birthday, mine is today too.  Just remember when it all comes down to it you have to live with and be happy with you!
With God, all things are possible. (Mark 10:27)
What ever you are, be a good one. (Abe Lincoln) |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 09:27:17 AM
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This is my birthday song today. I requested it from my local radio station and I am dedicating to all of you...HUGS!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4am2Yedyt0
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 09:35:07 AM
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Happy Birthday Laura...do you know what time you were born? I was born at 2:59 p.m.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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Jami
True Blue Farmgirl
1238 Posts
Jami
Ellensburg
WA
USA
1238 Posts |
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JudyBlueEyes
True Blue Farmgirl
657 Posts
Judith
Spokane
Washington
USA
657 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 09:46:13 AM
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(((((Heather))))) HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! It sounds like it will be a happy day and a happy year. I fully support your decision with your family. Put it all behind you and look to a bright future! I wish you all the best in your schooling, with your son and Scott. FarmGirl Hugs! Judy
We come from the earth, we go back to the earth, and in between, we garden! |
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Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl
2701 Posts
Marcy
Tiverton
Rhode Island
USA
2701 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 10:06:46 AM
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{{{{Heather}}}} Glad you checked in. Been thinking about you! Hope things work out for the best for you! Will send wishes your way that all of your dreams come true. Best of luck in school and know that we all care! Give Charlie a hug for us!! And please check in again soon.
Farmgirl #170
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
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82kygal
True Blue Farmgirl
548 Posts
Laura
Somerset
Kentucky
USA
548 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 10:07:11 AM
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Heather, not sure what time I was born but in the afternoon. I weighed 10.5lbs. I guess that explains my current weight Hope you are having a great day. Good luck with your schooling it takes courage to go to school I only wish I had it. ENJOY YOUR DAY!!!!!
With God, all things are possible. (Mark 10:27)
What ever you are, be a good one. (Abe Lincoln) |
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shepherdgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1008 Posts
Tracy
California
USA
1008 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 10:18:58 AM
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Oh Heather, how sad I am for you, but at the same time HAPPY!! I know first hand some of what you are feeling. It's so easy to judge another person when you are on the OUTSIDE looking IN, and as the old cliche` goes "People in Glass houses shouldn't throw stones" but SOME of those people are so PIG HEADED (or maybe STUPID?) that they don't even see that THEY are living in the GLASS HOUSE!!!! GRRRRR.... if I have learned NOTHING else in my 37yrs on this planet (and growing up with the family from HELL as well!) it's that I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK OF ME, NO MATTER IF THEY ARE FRIENDS OR BLOOD RELATIVES! This is MY life and if they don't like it, then they don't DESERVE to be a part of it. I AM worth something... and SO ARE YOU HEATHER.
I'm so glad that you were finally able to tell them what was really on your heart and mind. Now you can start over with the life YOU choose and there will be nothing to hold you back. Live for HEATHER, live for SCOTT and Little CHARLIE. THEY are your family. But, hopefully some day all those so called friends and the family you couldn't CHOOSE will finally see the truth of your words and understand the reasons behind them, and you will all be able to at least forgive and start a new relationship with each of them. Hugs and blessings to you, and I APPRECIATE your sacrifice for MY Family's freedom, even if your own family DOESN'T. Take care girl, and hang in there!!!!!! XXXOOO ~~~ Tracy
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. ~~ George Carlin |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 10:33:00 AM
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Heather- So glad you found time for an update sweetie! You have been on my mind! We love you and want the best for you! Happy Happy Birthday! And here is a toast and a cheer for a new leg to life!
-PS- I got nervous tremors from stress at one point in my life too. I had a bit of a break down at that point as well. I will honestly say it was one of my darker hours of saddness, stress and depression. But I am happy to say that life has only improved since then! *hugs* You can do this! Charlie is so lucky to have you. You are an awesome mom, wife, and farmgirl sister!
Just think- You and Scott are the Genesis of a new family!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
Please come visit Nora and me on our new blog:
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 10:35:30 AM
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Heather - All throughout your journey on this forum, I've been a witness to your struggles and admired your strength. You are a fantastic mom and a strong woman(I've said it before and I'll say it again). How much longer until you graduate? Because I know you WILL graduate. And I'm looking forward to my invitation!
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
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sleepless reader
True Blue Farmgirl
1022 Posts
CA
USA
1022 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 10:46:51 AM
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Well, a cowgirl/farmgirl has to do what she has to do. Happy birthday and good luck as you continue on this amazing journey.
Yours, Sharon
Farmgirl Sister #74
Life is messy. Wear your apron! |
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Txfarmgal
True Blue Farmgirl
585 Posts
AK
USA
585 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 11:11:00 AM
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Great to hear from you! And on your birthday! I have lit a candle in your honor and just wish I had a cupcake to eat for you as well. Great job on joining the Y it will be fun for both you and Charlie. You have alot on your shoulders so it's no wonder you had a breakdown of sorts. I am praying for you. Put one foot in front of the other and keep plowin through. You are a farmgirl and you can do it. hugs
AngiKay-farmgirl sister #301
www.angikay.etsy.com
Heart of TX chapter
Be strong and Courageous. Jos. 1:9
Texas 4H! http://texas4-h.tamu.edu/ |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 11:20:48 AM
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Happy Birthday Heather:
Sorry you had to go through all of that.
Marly |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 11:54:23 AM
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Ladies...I will graduate next Summer and even if I have to move from my beloved Texas, I am still going to attend the ceremony and you are ALL invited...seriously...(((HUGS)))
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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simplyflowers
True Blue Farmgirl
489 Posts
Jamie
Locust Grove
Virginia
USA
489 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 11:55:51 AM
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER!!!!!
Just so you know, when I go home after work today...I will light the candle on my kitchen counter just for you. It's a pumpkin spice candle! I hardly ever light it because I forget....but today I will and it will be because of you! :)
I know whatcha mean about the family thing. We've got some real winners in my family that I have totally written off!! I don't even want to go to the family reunion this year! Which is a shame because I would like for my almost two year old to understand the value of this family togetherness....if that was even what it was....but I feel like I wouldn't want to expose him to those crazy people any more than I want to be around them myself.
How bout this.....you and I will be family instead!! You can be my cousin from TX!!! :)
Warmly and Understanding,
Jamie
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas Edison |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 11:59:36 AM
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OK COUSIN!!! And if we move to VA,,,we can be farmgal sisters!!!! HA!! I will bring you a Texas cowgirl hat!! YEE HAW!!!
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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simplyflowers
True Blue Farmgirl
489 Posts
Jamie
Locust Grove
Virginia
USA
489 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 12:06:24 PM
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WootWoot!!! Cowgirl up!!! I don't believe I've ever had any family in good ol' Texas until now! What branch of service is your hubby in?? I work on a MC Base. Just wondering?
Jamie :)
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas Edison |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 12:23:35 PM
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He is Navy but he is thinking going back over to Army. Things are very up in the air right now. Can't make a move until he is home from deployment. We would be in VA beach if we stayed Navy...where are you? Otherwise, I know there are Army bases there also, just not sure where.
Heather
Yee-Haw, I am a cowgirl!!!
FARMGIRL #90 |
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lilwing
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Brooke
Fulshear
Texas
USA
1403 Posts |
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simplyflowers
True Blue Farmgirl
489 Posts
Jamie
Locust Grove
Virginia
USA
489 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2008 : 12:34:22 PM
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I'm in Stafford, which is right next to MCB Quantico. Ft. Belvoir is just 30 minutes up the highway as well. :)
"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." -- Thomas Edison |
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Across the Fence: Checking in...just for a minute... |
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Checking in...just for a minute...
