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Family Matters:  Potty Training  |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 01 2008 : 07:12:43 AM
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I am in need of suggestions. The 4.5 year old that I Nanny is number 1 trained but number 2 is another story. Mom has been OK with him doing his duty in his underwear (which she throws out) or a pull up. We have been working with him to get him to go, but he will not sit on the toilet. She bought him one of those smaller seat to put on the big potty because he did not want to sit on the small potty chair. He still does not want to sit on the big potty. He is now removing his soiled undies and hiding them around the house and sometime the load falls out and then someone else steps in it and you can imagine the rest.  He is going to Kindergarten this coming fall and is showing NO signs of changing his behavior. He thinks it's funny. Help Please!!!!! I have never had this problem but then again I had most of my children from birth and they where always proud to put it in the toilet and become a big boy or girl! My children are now 20-27. This child is very comfortable with not growing up, not pleasing. The last 3 years of his life have been a whirlwind with deaths, divorce, mom returning to school, long hours at daycares, older siblings that have not always been supervised and not always nice to him or each other and burnt out mom. I have known the family and worked with this child for a year at a daycare. I have been their Nanny for 4 weeks so I know that this will take time but not sure what to do to change his thoughts or willingness to please. He also is very violent with hitting and name calling. Yesterday he cold cocked me in the eye and it is not unusual for him to call me stupid, idiot and other names or hit me with objects. I know he does this with mom also. I have been using time outs and mom is starting to buy in. The other boys have their problems too but at least they go to school all day so I only have to deal with them for short periods of time. I'm getting ready to call Super Nanny. Thanks for your time.
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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Carolinagirl
True Blue Farmgirl
486 Posts
Kim
Rutherfordton
NC
USA
486 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2008 : 07:24:14 AM
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Sounds like its a control issue for him, especially with all the changes in his life that you mentioned. Have you tried making him rinse out the underwear that he messes up? My 1st dd was less than three when we pottytrained her, and that rinsing the yucky underwear out in the potty did the trick. If at all possible I would get rid of the pullups (who wouldn't like underwear you could just toss out when it gets dirty?). I'd be surprised if kindergarten allows him to attend class with that kind of pooping behavior. If you present that idea to the mom, maybe she will jump on board with a stricter potty training routine.
Good luck!
Kim in NC |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2008 : 07:36:28 AM
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I'm thinking in your lines that it is a control issue too. Mom just tosses out the undies if he poos in them and buys new. I have gotten her to stop letting him put the pull-ups on to do his job when he needed to. I tried to make him clean them out and he throw them at me, poo and all, then walked away. "I don't have to clean them momma throws them away!" I was think of not letting him wear undies and see what happens. Maybe let him wear his Superman outfit, his favorite, and throwing that away when he messes. Maybe a spanking. But I'm sure that's just the frustrated adult in me. Maybe I'm not cut out for this placement, but when I was interviewing families I pray over which one to go to and the answer was loud and clear. I also think Kindergarten should wait a year. He doesn't even ask to go. Really has no interest in it. Mom is getting better but at first she would just sit and watch or go to her office and close the door. She is so burnt and not able to discipline. But I am seeing signs of her improving. Guess I need to be patient. 
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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Canadian farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
482 Posts
Lori
Ontario
Canada
482 Posts |
Posted - Feb 01 2008 : 2:52:38 PM
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I had a hard time with my oldest boy, he was 4 and still not doing #2 anywhere but in his pants. I felt like I was such a bad mother, and I was the only one whose child wasn't trained at this age. He would hold onto it for days, I truly think he just hated what his body would produce! We really struggled with this, and having two younger siblings close in age was an issue, too. I always felt like I didn't have enough time to spend with him. But we didn't get to what you're going through. Eventually he did "get it" but we had to resort to making him help clean it up. We didn't have Pullups back then, either (or Internet for advice!). I think it's important to stick to the underwear, and stop letting mom throw them out!
Your situation definitely sounds like control/attention. I've looked around the Internet, and found this info. Hope you might find something here:
http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/potty/4-5.html
You know, I was thinking Supernanny before I got to the end of your post. I don't think I've seen this on her show...
I feel for you, hope this can turn around.
Lori |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4740 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4740 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2008 : 3:40:38 PM
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Last year I attended a toilet training class for my then 3 year old son. The class was at his school and taught by 2 ladies who originally developed their program for autistic children, but it works for all kids, all ages. The first thing they discussed was the amount of fiber the child is getting in their daily diet. Young children need around 19 grams (check on line for exact amounts) per day! If a child doesn't get the right amount of fiber, then it makes it difficult for them to have a bowel movement. To get technical about it, a bowel movement should like either a "1" or "S". If it doesn't, then the child is constipated. That's why they don't want to go poop in the potty. I realized immediately that was my son's problem. So I made sure he got the correct amount of fiber in his diet every day. Within a few days, his system was on the right track & he was completely toilet trained in a week. There were other parts to the program, but it sounds like this little guy may have issues because it hurts to go. Try adjusting his diet to include the fiber and see if that helps. Fiber One cereal bars are a great source of fiber, so is corn, apples, kefir, etc. Read labels carefully on food, you'll be surprised how little fiber there is in a lot of it!
Good luck with the training!
Dawn in IL |
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bboopster
True Blue Farmgirl
1140 Posts
Betty Jo
West Bend
Wisconsin
USA
1140 Posts |
Posted - Feb 03 2008 : 6:22:45 PM
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Thank you for all your help. I will keep better track of his fiber. I think this next week I am going to ignore this action and see if he asks me to help clean him and when he does teach him to help.  Sometimes I wonder at 48 "What and why I am doing this"!!!!!
http://www.bboopster.blogspot.com
3 Blue Star Mother and Proud of it!
Pray for our troops to come home safe and soon.
Enjoying the road to the simple life :>) |
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Family Matters: Potty Training |
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Potty Training
