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Here's to Your Health:  Depression  |
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DeepsouthMamma
True Blue Farmgirl
1454 Posts
Autumn
Southwest Louisiana
USA
1454 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 28 2007 : 7:45:26 PM
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Oh Annika- I am so sorry about your mama!!
You are right depression is nothing to sneeze at- not ever- for anyone.
Unless you have been in that black darkness you just cant know how painful it is.
Good your dr. was on top of physical causes as well as other triggers.
Knowing triggers is vital to sustained recovery too.
You take care of yourself & Glad you are here "on the farm"!
Autumn
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Aug 28 2007 : 9:14:43 PM
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It is so vital to have good doctors. Especially ones that up to date on information on rare conditions. Even though it doesn't have to do with depression- I had a doctor that tested me for a rare condition during pregnancy which could possibly have meant that I might have needed to be induced into labor early to save my baby's life.
So if your doctor isn't exploring all options- you might want to shop around.
Hugs!
Alee
The amazing one handed typist! One hand for typing, one hand to hold Nora!
http://home.test-afl.tulix.com/aleeandnora/ |
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sweetthunder214
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
theresa
smithville
tx
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2007 : 06:06:18 AM
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| This is a tough topic. I fought and continue to fight depression. There are many triggers for me and when you put two or more of them together its at its worst. It sounds like to me that may be part of your problem. You can just pinpoint one problem and say thats the cause. I think you should make a list and try to cross one off at a time. Every little thing to me was a huge deal. Even became a huge deal if someone left a light on in an empty room. I mean huge like the whole house would get screamed at. When I started throwing stuff and saying really awful things to my family is when I knew I finally needed some meds. The doc tried for years to put me on them because I constantly complained of pain. She tried to explain to me that the depression was the cause of the pain. I had alot of female problems and the whole thing was just banging around my body head to toe. She put me on Zoloft at 100mg to start. I took it for two weeks and went back with no change. She raised it to 200 and so on until finally two months later at 300mg I could be civil with everyone. I took that for a full year and weaned myself off it slowly starting back in Feb. of this year. In the mean time I had a hysterectomy and that part of my pain was gone so I started to improve quickly. I still have the other pain sources and deal with them as they are a part of everyday life and they just cant take those parts out. I think it was necc for me to be on those meds at that high of a dose at that time but I am doing ok without them now. I still get mad as hell sometimes but I have learned other ways to deal with it and the family dont have to run for the hills. I know it wont work for everyone because many of you have to be in public daily but for me since I stay at home if I suffer for a few days I just stay in my room and try not to think because my mind can make a mountain out of a mole hill. I also use alchohol which will really mess someone up with our problem. I dont have any plans to stop drinking though. Its just decisions we have to make and that is one I chose to keep. I hope you feel well soon and dont forget to make your list. It will really put in perspective what you need to take care of and what really shouldnt be bothering you. Even if its the smallest thing it counts. Hugs.. |
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Hideaway Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1553 Posts
Jo
Virginia
USA
1553 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2007 : 06:37:24 AM
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First, to Theresa,
Thanks for sharing your story...why is it that depression is so humiliating for us to talk about? We run to the phone or the neighbor or the water cooler at work if we have other medical issues or questions...but we hide inside ourselves and can't admit we have down days, or really serious mental health issues. I have relatives with diagnosed depression and I am hypervigilant anytime I start feeling "low" myself. It's wonderful to hear the different stories and remedies mentioned here.
Sherri, keep searching for that right doctor; and perhaps there are places you can call in your community for better referrals? I agree with keeping a list, a diary, any sort of record of how you are feeling over a period of time, as simple as rating the days from 1-5 to keeping as much detail as you can add. Whther it's you or a trusted friend or professional reading through it objectively, patterns will begin to reveal themselves. You might also ask your DH to keep track of your moods as well, even if he just draws black scowls or red happy faces on the calendar on particularly bad or good days. It could be a subtle signal between the two of you and will be a way for him to give you honest feedback without having to discuss it consistently.
You could also ask for a S.A.D. light for Christmas...one of those lights like my sister uses in the wintertime on the dreary west coast.
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
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aimeeravae
True Blue Farmgirl
341 Posts
Aimee
Deer River
MN
USA
341 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2007 : 08:54:18 AM
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I can't figure out what mine is. I have mood swing more so than a constant dark feeling. I get really mad over the smallest things. It started when I quit smoking and hasn't gone away. I am going to my doctor for a different reason on Friday. I'm going to ask about it and see what happens. I have a great PA here. Young guy who believes in natural fixes. After I had my daughter, I went to see him his first week. My primary was booked. I needed a script for a UTI. He didn't give it to me, told me to drink 24oz of cranberry juice and 3 cups of yogurt everyday. I had already started the cranberry juice. He said if nature can fix it, do it. Why let the humans screw it up.
Check on webMD or ask you pharmacy about any interactions and try the St Johns Wort. Don't let your DR make you feel bad. Also talk to your pharmacist about a referral to a new DR. I'd bet he would know a good one and would listen to your concerns. They can usually tell from your drugs what you have. and they will keep your secrets...
Aimee
http://laplantewardklopf.blogspot.com/
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MsCwick
True Blue Farmgirl
775 Posts
Cristine
Farmville
Virginia
USA
775 Posts |
Posted - Aug 29 2007 : 3:08:16 PM
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I also suffer from depression, and I talked to my DR about St Johns wort and although she believes in homeopathic and natural remedies, she does not reccomend St johns wort. If taken with the wrong anti histamine it can stop your heart. not just an allergic reaction, but death.
I have been diagnosed with depression and I have those same bouts of anger. Just pure rage over something I shouldnt actually be MAD over. I feel like I have a lot on my plate as the responsible spouse. My husband is just soo carefree and although that may be just what I need, when it comes to taking care of our cars and our home, or managing money, I can wage war on him for not seeing things from my point of view. We've had the discussion that if it's important to me/him, that it should be important to him/me. I'm not sure he comprehends that though. He and I have terrible arguments at least once a week, and it's making him get to where he punches the wall or something and that just makes me even more mad because he won't fix it! The other nite we were fighting, and I told him I wanted to burn the house down, but all I could do was cry and cry, and I was crying out of anger, and really wanted to do some SERIOUS damage to something. But I just cry, because I know I can't. It's like a never ending cycle. So I am supposed to take Zoloft, but I don't like to. And it's a low dose, and the DR said he didn't want me to take it for more than a year, but I've been on and off meds for 7 years, and I can't afford to keep going back and experimenting to try to find something else. I don't like to take it, it makes me sick to my stomach, literally, and then I don't eat or sleep, which fuels the chemical imbalance that I must already have. Even when I was in high school my dad could see terrible mood swings, and I ended up being put on birth control pills to see if it was my hormones, and when that didn't help, I was put on prozac, which I'm allergic to, so then I was on something else, but gained twenty pounds, and now I'm on zoloft, and lost the weight, but I won't take the meds regularly. I'm not even sure the meds help. Sometimes I really wonder if I wasn't married if I would still have the problems I have. It's surprising that there are so many of us on this website that are suffering from the same thing. Or maybe it's not...maybe we're all suffering from the same thing, and all find comfort in the same things we all do, and enjoy...hmmm...
Well, Best of wishes for all your girls, this just shows how we are NOT alone, although sometimes we can feel otherwise.
hugs,
cristine |
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Hideaway Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1553 Posts
Jo
Virginia
USA
1553 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2007 : 06:21:48 AM
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Hi, Cristine. Thanks for posting your story.
It sounds like you are going through a particularly stressful time right now. A couple of things in your post caught my attention. The first being that you wrote that you "won't take the meds regularly". I don't have any medical expertise, but aren't antidepressants supposed to be taken consistently for them to do their work?
The second thing you mentioned is your feelings of rage. Is your doctor aware of the rage as well as the depression? I am just thinking that there might be a different diagnosis (and resulting successful change of medication) entirely.
My final thought is whether you could seek out counseling, for your rage issues (figureing out where that comes from) and/or for your relationship (any maybe figuring out if one is affecting the other or if they are one and the same)?
You seem to be carrying a heavy load, and I hate to see a fellow Farmgirl in pain. You deserve the best effort you can make to get to a better state of mind.
Good luck, and I am sending lots of farmgirl hugs to you!
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
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frannie
True Blue Farmgirl
2246 Posts
fran
bonham
texas
USA
2246 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2007 : 10:46:25 AM
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i have been reading this post with great interest and have hesitated to jump in because all the responses have been so great. and because i always worry that when i post i might sound like a big know it all .
but my concern and feelings for sherri have overridden any of those concerns so here goes:
i too at times felt like i might have depression, but it was more situational like in response to pressures that were real that i thought i should be able to handle and....well, i didnt want to be medicated and trying to deal with the same problems and i vainly didnt want to gain extra weight.
well, i guess one of the liberating things about being a fatty is that you have already lived through it and adjusted.
also, it seemed that the folks who thought i needed to be medicated in my view were oblivious to the things i was concerned about and were of no help with any type of solutions,,,,and in my opinion the problems i was struggling with were theirs also.
i was accused of being crazy, depressed, angry and when people did that to me, like pavlovs dog i would melt into a puddle of remorse and shame and totally get side tracked from the original concern.
while i do NOT have my problems solved, i have made some changes that i have found helpful.
1. with my docs help i identified My problem not as depression but as anxiety.
so when i was put on a med it was for anxiety. i have found this to be helpful.
2. i think the med has helped me so that now when i communicate i dont have that angry edge that seems to give bullies permission to discount what you are saying to them. i dont get thrown off the track as easily as i once did.
3. i really try to work on accepting the things i cannot change. at some point i was so worn out by trying to fix problems that were not fixable by me that i was forced to distance myself and the result was that my grown children were forced to solve their own problems, and i was really giving them the room and gift to change themselves. as long as they had "crazy" mama in their they really didnt have to own their own problems.
this was very hard for me. first i had to stop reacting in the old way. when i learned of a problem that my kids had that was caused by them, instead of jumping into my supermom action figure mode, i would say a very practiced sentence like, sorry to hear you are having this problem, i know you will work it out. i tried to start treating them like any other adult friend and not jumping to their rescue. sometimes this was so hard that i would have to trick myself into saying i am gonna just take a one week vacation from this worry and next week i am gonna check back and see if they have solved it. every time the worry would enter my head i would either pray, or think about a new craft project that i was working on. at first this felt very selfish to me.
anyway, sherri, from where i sit you are a very responsible, caring, creative and sensitive woman with a lot of very real problems that you ARE taking care of.
i think you get overloaded sometimes because the situation increases at times.
i dont want you to get stressed out over your craft show, cause i think you have worked very hard to be able to participate in this show and it would be a shame for you not to enjoy it. your products are so beautiful, i know because i received my 2 jackets this morning and they are beyond beautiful.
between now and the craft show, if you worry about your son, your mom , your kitties, your crafts, i want you to take the worry put it in an envelope and "mail" it to me.
let go of it. i will take good care of your worry for you until after the show. then if you still want the worry i will "mail" it back to you. dont worry, im sure in the future i will "mail " some of my worry to you.
stay focused on the beautiful original crafts that you make.....the world needs to see them!
love
fran
(http://farmfolks-frannie.blogspot.com/) |
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DeepsouthMamma
True Blue Farmgirl
1454 Posts
Autumn
Southwest Louisiana
USA
1454 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2007 : 11:03:54 AM
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Well said- what awesome love and compassion God has gifted you with Fran!!
Amen to every suggestion and observation.
I am seeing this from the "second person" my dh &dd are the sufferers in my life.
I have only had situational depressions-housefire and sudden tragic deaths of both my brothers at a very young age-25 &29- so I KNOW I don't fully feel what lifetime sufferers do.
God Bless those of you struggling - never give up.
You get a new day every 24 hrs -just work on that one.
Blessings
Autumn
Isaiah 40:31
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. |
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mikesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3659 Posts
Sherri
Elma
WA
USA
3659 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2007 : 12:08:50 PM
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| Hey Frannie - what a great post and good advice. I will take your suggestion and mail my worries to you. I just wonder if you're prepared to receive a big box instead of a little envelope!! Just kidding - I plan to speak to my doc about the anxiety when I go next time (already scheduled). I think you may have something - the more I think about it, the more my issues sound like anxiety instead of depression. I do tend to take on everyone else's worry. I ordered the book that someone (I'm sorry, right now I can't remember who) suggested, called "I Don't Have to Make Everything All Better" and it has a section on adult children. I'm anxious to read it when I stop off for the evening. Everyone has been so kind and so helpful - I really appreciate all your thoughtful replies. They have helped immensely. |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Aug 30 2007 : 5:59:03 PM
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| That was beautiful advice Frannie!! I definitely could benefit from it!! Hugs! |
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sweetthunder214
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
theresa
smithville
tx
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2007 : 05:26:31 AM
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| Great advise from everyone. Sometimes it helps me just to hear there are others who have the same things going on.. not like I am some weirdo from outter space that no one understands.. tee hee Down side of that is I wish no one else had to go through it.. |
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Hideaway Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1553 Posts
Jo
Virginia
USA
1553 Posts |
Posted - Aug 31 2007 : 11:33:27 AM
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Gee, I really like the idea of mailing our worries away for a little while. Sort of like sending Santa Claus a letter with our Christmas wish lists! Maybe we could start a separate forum called "Mail A Worry Away" or something! Hmmm, maybe we are already mailing them away, it's great to post something we worry about here and get other viewpoints in response.
Jo
"Wish I had time to work with herbs all day!" |
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Here's to Your Health: Depression |
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Depression
