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Across the Fence:  Tired and torn  |
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simpler1773
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Ricki
Ashland
Wisconsin
USA
234 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 12:13:16 PM
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Hi ladies ~ I just need to get this out, and you are all such a wise bunch that I thought this may just be the place to do it.
It seems like lately (I'd say slowly getting worse over the course of the last two years), I am just so tired and easily overwhelmed. I have a 14 yr old and a 2 yr old (both girls), I am technically a stay at home mom but I help run my husband's business (computer networking) and I work a few hours a week at a coffee shop to help out my friend that owns it. I have daycare 2 days a week, so I DO get a break from the two year old. She's a handful though, so much so that I truly believe she has ADHD (I really hate putting those lables out there, but it is what it is).
I've lost my ability to create. I used to make 3 or 4 really wonderful primitive dolls a week, and many other things too. Now I look at my fabric and want to either cry or burn it because I am so frustrated. I have nothing left inside of me to actually do the work. I look at magazines and books and think I'm inspired and then I go to the studio and pick things up and set them down and can't force myself to do ANYTHING. It's terrible!
I come here and I see and read about all of the great things everyone is doing and I wonder what is wrong with me, why can't I get in gear to do these things?
I'm torn between keeping stuff that I think I will use someday and just getting rid of everything because it's so depressing to NOT be using it right now. Does that make any sense?
Between taking care of the girls and my husband, getting meals on the table and the house clean, I just don't feel like I have anything left. And when I try to do one extra thing it seems like everything else suffers. It doesn't seem like it should be this hard. I'm not sure why I can't handle more than I do and it frustrates me to no end. Am I just really poor at time management? Am I doing something wrong, or is there just something functionaly wrong with me?
Please tell me how you all do it....I need help!
~Ricki~
You can't pour anything out of an empty vessel, take care of yourself! |
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summerbreeze
True Blue Farmgirl
277 Posts
Laura
WA
USA
277 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 12:37:11 PM
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I have been where you are. Not the same situation but the tired burned out feeling.
Here are a few suggestions. If you are working to help your friend out at the coffee shop and you don't need the money...quit. You can help her later on when you are feeling better and have your own life pulled together. Can you take a break??? Can you get away without your children with or without your husband for 4 days. When I feel overwhelmed I take a rest vacation. I find a resort and park my butt in a chair for a few days, sleep late, order room service and just recharge.
I take a trip for at least 4 days a year alone. No husband no friends. I will go somewhere like the Omega Institute and take a class for two days and spend the other tow days doing nothing. The year before I went to A WOman's Way class and spent the day at a lecture the woman who wrote simple abundance was giving. And three days doing noting but stolling the town, reading sleeping late etc. I have found this little mini retreat gives me much to look forward to and recharges my battery and allows me to have something left over for family, friends etc.
Before you go away make an appointment with your Dr. and have him check your hormone level. Explain how you are feeling. If your hormones all check out. See if he can perscrible a mild anti depressant. Sometimes when you feel terrible you can't bring your seratonin level up by yourself.
Can you increase your daughters day care to 3 days a week until you are feeling better?
I'm sorry you are feeling out of sorts. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Laura
You only live once,if you do it right once is enough. |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 12:54:49 PM
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Also your Thyroid. laura has good suggestions. Everyone gets writers block so to speak. I know how you feel. I look at all these blogs and don't feel creative anymore. But sometimes just starting back slowly on mundane things, where you don't have to be super creative, just making something, can help you get back inthe swing of things. I've learned not to push it. I was VERY artistic as a youth and in my 20's. I'm just now getting back into my photography.
I make these goofy little signs for people when they go on vacation, for their mailboxes and they say, "What are you doing working here?!"
Also, see if your husband can take over some of the chores or entertain the girls for a few hours on a Sat or Sun or in the evening and just hole yourself up. Fiddle around with stuff.
My seretonin levels have been low, probably most of my life and I have taken medication for several years now. It helps A LOT. I make no excuses for it and I am much better off on it. Even thoughit's a mild anti-depressant, it has helped with my moods and my PMS as well as feeling blue. Dpression runs in my family and lifeis too short to not be happy, so I take it. I had a cousin of my dad's commit suicide in her 60's.
Ricki, if you ever need someone to talk to, e-mail me. I've been through it too. ((((((HUGS))))))
Blessed Be!
farmgirl@heart
"Go confidently in the directions of your dreams; live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." - Henry David Thoreau
http://chevy49girl.livejournal.com/
http://midwestmusings-kim.blogspot.com/
http://chevy49girl.deviantart.com/ |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 1:01:36 PM
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Hi Ricki-
I am so glad you came to the forum to chat- sometimes just talking it over with other people helps!
First of all- I must say that you sound very, very busy! Between your job with you husbands business, your job with your friend's business, taking care of a house and two kids- no wonder you are burnt out!
Do you remember about when you started to feel burnt out like this? What changed in your life about that time?
I agree with Laura that you need to take some time for yourself. I know you probably enjoy helping your friend out and I know that getting out of the house is really good for helping to recharge a bit.
Since I don't know how much the different jobs rate on your satisfaction scale, I am not sure what you might want to consider decreasing or cutting out of your life.
I know you said that the craft stuff is making you depressed because you aren't motivated to work on it right now. Can you maybe box it up to save for when you are motivated? Or if that doesn't work I would donate it to good will and start over when you feel more inclined to crafting.
Also maybe could you get your older daughter and husband to help out around the house more?
Honestly it sounds like you are an amazing woman!
Alee
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simpler1773
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Ricki
Ashland
Wisconsin
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 1:15:55 PM
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Thank you all for the comforting words.
Last year I went to the doctor and I did get some anti-depressants, she also checked my thyroid which was fine, but didn't check hormones. The anti-depressents just made me feel like I was ignoring the problem, didn't really make it any better. Maybe I needed a different kind (she even upped my dosage once).
Yes, the changes that kind of pushed me over the edge creatively were moving (4 times in 18 months) and having Rebekah. I love that little girl to pieces but she drains every fiber of my being, which makes me feel extremely guilty that I can't seem to handle my own child. My husband and older daughter DO help out immensely!
This is what I can't understand ~ I have SO much in the way of help, support, our financial situation, etc. Nothing is really WRONG ~ so then it always comes back to me feeling like it must be me.
I like Laura's suggestion of taking a get away by myself ~ I never really do that, and I should. Maybe I can find a seminar or something here in Wisconsin to escape to for a couple of days.
I can't really quit the coffee shop. The owner has health problems and she has had such a nightmare getting good help. She asks so little and I just couldn't let her down that way ~ she needs my help and I offered it (plus the pocket cash is helpful!)
The girls are coming back to command my attention. I need to get off of here...but your caring words brought tears to my eyes and I am SO THANKFUL to have this group of wonderful women to turn to. THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES!
~Ricki~
You can't pour anything out of an empty vessel, take care of yourself! |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 1:19:27 PM
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Also, can I say with out offending you that it doesn't sound like you are a stay at home mom? It sounds like you are a working mom that is also taking on all the responsibility and work of a stay at home mom as well! You are doing twice the work of what some women do! You are amazing and I am sure you are a wonderful wife and mom.
Alee
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Maryjane Lee
True Blue Farmgirl
2195 Posts
Maryjane
CA
USA
2195 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 1:31:22 PM
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Ricki,
Bless Your Heart! You are feeling what I was feeling 2 years ago! I fiannly went into my doctors as Laura suggested and got things in order. I sware I said I would never take an anti depressant for the life of me! I did and it has helped in so many ways. It is the lowest dose of Wellbuton XL. I have no personality changes, I am just happier and can cope with the daily things that comes in ones life. My hormone levels were down also and I now have a Femring that I change out every 3 months (check out Femring on Google). I thought I was going crazy but just needed a little ajusting. I am not saying this is for you but it has worked for me. I agree with Laura, quiting the coffee shop job. You need to take care of yourself. Maybe you have taken on to many tacks. Don't throw your crafts, fabric, etc. away. You will come back to them. I promise! I am now sewing up a storm with all the fabric I have saved and overlooked for years. Keep coming back to the MaryJane's Farm! You will find what you need here...good advice, love and support! We are hear for you Ricki!
Hugs,
Maryjane Lee
"A House Is A Home Where Love Dwells" |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 1:31:30 PM
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Have youtried cutting out foods with a lot of preservatives and sugar? Corn Syrup and High Fructose filled items are horrible. I knew a woman who changed her childs way of eating and the ADHD subsided a lot.
Blessed Be!
farmgirl@heart
"Go confidently in the directions of your dreams; live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." - Henry David Thoreau
http://chevy49girl.livejournal.com/
http://midwestmusings-kim.blogspot.com/
http://chevy49girl.deviantart.com/ |
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Mountain Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
806 Posts
JoAnn
Colville
Washington
USA
806 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 1:32:35 PM
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Ricki, I had to go lay down for a bit after reading your e-mail--got exhausted just reading it : ) I think you have to adhere to you're profile signature--treat yourself first. I always use to say "if momma ain't happy then nobodys happy" My kids were 18 months apart and a stay at home mom. It was a tiring but worthwhile time. I certainly was happy when they both started school. Didn't need to go back to work for monetary reasons (I am very frugal) I took that time to do things I love to do. Your taking on quite a bit. Some things you just have to put on hold for awhile. Enjoy the kids now it might not seem like it now but they grow up fast. JoAnn
I've always been called a dreamer, but I never listened. I did what others dare not do--lived my dream while they watched. Unknown |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 1:33:11 PM
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Along Alee's lines........of not wanting to offend. But, YOU "need" YOU more then your friend needs you. I am sure your friend is very appreciative of your help and you want to help her out as you can. BUT, is it worth losing yourself to help her?
I know finding a good worker is difficult. BUT, one thing I have learned is I have to set bounderies. Yes, I would love to help all my friends and save the world. But, I can't! I can only do my best to save myself!
One thing I learned through flylady.net is our friends will be our friends no matter what. If a friend calls and ask you for such and such and you say no you can't. A real friend will still be your friend. Just like if you asked a friend to help you, but they said they legitmately couldn't you wouldn't hold it against them either.
Any way, I also highly suggest quiting the job. And saving yourself.
I highly reccomend cutting off all things that doesn't have to do with what I literally HAVE to do for my family and I to survive. I love my friends and I will help them where I "can". But, sometimes I can't! And I have to be very honest with myself about how much I can. I put my main focus on my family and self. And if my friends do the same, they won't need me as much as they think either. You know what I mean?
Any way, I have felt the same way.......I have a 7 month old, and I have a lot of health issues. The health issues make me tired on their own, then add a baby to the mix and I'm just exhausted. I was feeling the same way about getting to be creative. You know what? I've found I can find 15 to 20 minutes a day to just be creative! I don't have to do it all. Just one thing at a time. I used to be one that when I started a project I didn't want to stop till I was finished. With my obligations towards my baby, and my physical limitations that is no longer reality. Reality is, I can find 15 to 20 minutes a day and work on something. And eventually it will get done. And in the end I find happiness in seeing the work in progress and eventually finished. Just take baby steps.
AND be brutally honest with yourself about what you can and can't do. All the things you don't have time or energy for that aren't literally basic needs, cut them out, for now. Maybe later you can help and do them again. But, for now just focus on yourself and getting your own life back. |
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pinkroses
True Blue Farmgirl
2350 Posts
Sheila
Virginia
USA
2350 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 3:03:57 PM
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I really feel for you. I too have had my share of not being creative and having a lot to handle.
Everyone is different ; but yet the same.
I am in my 50's , I have a son who dosen't work and won't work ; he is 27. It is a long drawn out story. I will not go into it.
I think I will keep the things that once brought you joy.
I am a sewer, quilter, and I crochet , knit , tat. you name it I have done a lot of it.
We are getting ready to build our retirement home.
I am torn . I have to get rid of a lot of my books that I cherish.
It is good that you can work some and that you can be without your daughters. It is good for them too. to know that Mom is there; but not all the time.
Maybe you can hire your preteen ager to baby sit a few hours while you relax or work on your projects.?
We all need a out let. I know it might be hard for you to do this at first.
Also , maybe you can explain to your husband and get help there too.
I don't know if what I said helps any. I am thinking of you and hope you soon get something for you. Hugs and prayers sent your way. Pinkroses. |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 4:22:30 PM
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Ricki, please know you are not alone at all. I think most of us feel that way often. I get so tired sometimes I cant think straight & working 2 jobs leaves very little time. Its not you, its life & we take on so much. Go easy on yourself.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 5:10:09 PM
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You are so not alone, so first (((((BIG HUGS)))). Second, I agree with everyone else, you need to take better care of yourself now. I just went through Post Partum Depression that lasted from the day I left the hospital up until about a month ago (DS turned 1). We are putting him in daycare and I am going back to school, full time in September. I take daily walks, dumped all the junk food in the house, starting FINALLY getting back to the self I love. I hadn't worn makeup or done my hair in over a year because I was so down in the dumps. DH tries to help, but I need more than just his help. I have no family here and we have moved 3 times in the past year due to the military, so friends are not an option either. We are moving to Texas and I plan on having a life. Yes, I chose to have children but doesn't mean I give up my life entirely until they are grown. I believe in leading by example and DS should know his mother is strong, independent and worthy and not just a maid, cook, chauffer and not just there to care for everyone but myself.
Daycare will relieve a lot of my stress, and yes, I can stay home while he is in daycare. Frowned upon and misunderstood by many but my frugal ways have allowed me to do this. Take good care of yourself!!! |
Edited by - catscharm74 on Apr 29 2007 6:55:54 PM |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 5:18:26 PM
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| Good for you Cats! You have to do what is best for you, no matter what any one else thinks. I try to avoid the judgemental people who think they have a say in how I live my life. I'm the one who has to live my life not them. Same for you, you are the one who has to live your own life. So making the choices that are best for you is the best way to do things! So good for you! :) And you are right, you have to keep yourself so you can be a good example of how to have a happy life when they grow up too! :) |
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mkmomus
True Blue Farmgirl
248 Posts
Merle
Greensboro
NC
248 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 5:36:51 PM
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Ricki,
I will just tell you what everyone else and that is to take care of yourself, but.... do go to the dr and have things checked out. Also go to the gyn and have a check up as well. I too was perscribed with an anti depressant but it turns out I had a thyroid condition and that overrode the effects of the anti depressant so that didn't work. Then I got a thyroid medice but we had to screw around with that. Then I found out husband was sleeping around and went to dr and found out I had HPV which was zapping me. NOw I am not suggesting in anyway your husband is doing that, I am just saying check everying out because it could be anything. Also, how are you sleeping? Because if you are not sleeping well it knock you out. The other thing is, I think you really have to find out what you WANT to do. If you like to do all tose things then you should, but if you feel you have to do any of those things I think you could bow out gracefully. If you just want to stay home and craft and cook and play (and you can afford it) do it. If you want to that and you can't aford it, find a way anyway. I think most mothers have been where you are so don't ever feel alone or different. Please take care and let us know how you are doing.
Merle |
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catscharm74
True Blue Farmgirl
4687 Posts
Heather
Texas
USA
4687 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 7:00:24 PM
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I just wanted to add that I don't like to be home during the week. I enjoy being out and working so becoming a SAHM for me was huge and frankly, I AIN'T GOOD AT IT!!! And I am darn proud of that...not that I am a bad Mom, just bad at the 24/7 thing. I like to work and attend functions and be out. I know this to be true of myself and no matter how I tried to justify staying home, it is killing me and that is something my whole family does not need.
(((HUGS))) All around for being brave enough to admit our truths and even braver for taking the necessary steps!!! YIPEEE!!!!
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 9:50:26 PM
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Ricki-
Moving 4 times in 18 months! No wonder you are exhausted mentally and physically!! Yikes hun! When my Fiance and I moved once a year we were exhausted! It takes us over 6 months to even feel somewhat settled and just about that time we already had to start looking for a new place! This is the first time we haven't had to move in a long time and we are finally catching our breath. I never ever felt like doing crafts when we were moving a lot. Just so much to have to unpack and find to get started- It was really daunting!
One other suggestion- If you can afford it, hire a maid for one really good cleaning or for a light cleaning once a month or even once a week. I did housecleaning for others for years and I could really tell how much it helped some of the ladies. One of my clients was a SAHM with a special needs kid (he has brittle bone disease!). She really just needed some "her" time and having me come in and change the sheets and scrub the bathrooms gave her a couple hours a week to mediate and relax.
BTW there is nothing wrong with you for feeling overwhelmed or even if you have some depression! And there is nothing wrong with you if things get a little out of control! Sometimes I think we care so much about our family and others that we get a little (or a lot!) stressed if we can't live up to our high expectations.
I think you would be really wise if you took some you time and went away for a long weekend!
Too bad you couldn't come out here for the Farmchick's show!
*hugs* You are an awesome mom and an amazing person! I can't believe you managed to move 4 times in 18 months!
Alee
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simpler1773
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Ricki
Ashland
Wisconsin
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Apr 29 2007 : 11:09:26 PM
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Wow ~ all of your responses are amazing. Thank you so much.
I really have tried to incorperate me time into my life here and there ~ but I seriously need to work on the guilt factor  I always always feel guilty. And that is why I use the signature line that I do ~ trying to remind myself.
WARNING: This next part is long and not real relevant.
The whole moving 4 times thing was completely unplanned and quite surreal when I think back on it.MOVE #1 We wanted to persue a dream of living in Duluth, MN. where we could be close to Lake Superior (which my husband grew up on), so we sold our house and moved. Just like that! Crazy, I know. So we got an apartment in Duluth just because we were not sure about buying a house there yet. Well, we ended up in this fabulous duplex but with partying college kids next door ~ nightmare.MOVE #2 So we found a fixer upper forclosed house in the next city over and bought it cash ~ we'd live in it and fix it up at the same time. We did that for 2 months before we found out I was pregnant (complete SHOCK! 5 yrs of marriage, no protection, just figured I couldn't have kids anymore, very irregular period, etc.). Wanted a home birth ~ couldn't find a midwife willing to do a VBAC within 100 miles, so we traveled the 100 miles to the midwife every month ~ she'd come to us for the birth. In the meantime we found a little cabin we could buy for cash (it was CHEAP!) halfway between us and the midwife ~ MOVE #3 Figured we could do the homebirth there and then the ripped apart remodel we were working on wouldn't be such an issue with the new baby. Labored at the cabin but after 48 hours of labor ended up at the hospital for an emergency c-section anyway  . But, baby is a couple months old when I figure out there is no way I have the energy to remodel a house and don't want to go back to the city anyway. MOVE #4 We sell the city house, and the cabin, and buy a real house here by where the cabin was. Now baby is two years old and I am STILL tired...lol.
You're all right, I could quit the coffee shop, and I would if I thought it was the problem. It's not, it's more of an escape for me than a job. The shop is also an art gallery with many local artists displayed, fun music, etc. And I'm only there about one day a week.
And whoever asked if I was sleeping...no! It's 1:00 AM as I type, and the nights Rebekah has slept thru the night in her life, I can count on one hand. She'll be awake by 6:30 for sure. It's an issue. Hubby gets up with her alot, but I still wake up and have a hard time getting back to sleep...my mind starts running and it's off to the races.
Also someone mentioned food being a problem. We have almost no junk food or high fructose corn syrup products in the house, and I try to buy mostly organic. I allow a few items here and there, and I guess I can try to be even more strict about it. That is hard though.
Ok ~ enough rambling, off to bed, I hope. Hubby has a cold and is snoring like an old bear so I am sleeping on the couch for peace and quiet tonight!
Thanks again ladies ~ you're the best!
~Ricki~
You can't pour anything out of an empty vessel, take care of yourself! |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2007 : 10:32:58 AM
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Sleep deprivation will do it! That's for sure. Just give yourself some slack. It sounds like you had a rough few years. It will take a while to find your center again!
I went into diabetic keytone acidoses (didn't know I was a diabetic) 6 years ago. It took me about 2 years literally before I had the energy to wakeup and feel like even getting out of bed. About 2 years into it, one morning I woke up and felt like actually getting up, rather then why on earth is it morning already! And pulling the covers back over my head! Took another two years for me to have the energy to clean the house, wash dishes etc. So give yourself time! lots of time! Eventually you will get it back. In the mean time just try to do what is best for you. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2007 : 1:11:03 PM
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Ricki-
Wow! Okay so just the thought of traveling 100 miles to see your midwife made me tired! Let alone trying to remodel TWO Houses!
One other thing- If you are having a hard time sleeping/mind racing you could try keeping a journal by the bed to write down all your thoughts. I make lists like crazy of all the stuff I want to get done each day. If I don't get it done, that’s okay, but writing it down helps my mind relaxes at night. It is kind of like my mind saying "Okay she committed to getting something done- I can quite bugging her now"
Also free-writing helps a lot to. It's a skill I learned in High school. You get out a piece of paper, a pen and set a time for 30 seconds, a minute or whatever. Don't read what you write- Just write whatever is in your head. It can be completely disjointed or a poem or a story or anything! It just helps empty out the confusion. Sometimes you will be writing a sentence and start writing a new one right in the middle of the old! The important thing is to not let the pen stop moving or to re-read what you just wrote.
If things like that don't help, you might try a sleep aid, like Tylenol PM or buying Melatonin from the health food store. Melatonin is the chemical that you brain naturally produces during sleep. My fiancé and I have used it before to get better sleep habits and it helps SO much! You don't feel groggy or drugged when you wake up and it can help you drift off to sleep in no time flat!
I hope you are feeling better today!
Alee
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Edited by - Alee on Apr 30 2007 4:40:31 PM |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2007 : 3:08:45 PM
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| Hugs!!!!! I honestly didn't get all that much done when my kids were little! They are alot of work!!!!!!! A teenager and a two year old and you work! Cut yourself some slack! Your doing a great job. Be good to yourself. There is a time for everything and someday youll have the time to do all that you want!Just take care of yourself now! DON"T WORRY! BE HAPPY!!!! |
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simpler1773
True Blue Farmgirl
234 Posts
Ricki
Ashland
Wisconsin
USA
234 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2007 : 4:51:57 PM
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Thanks again you guys!
Alee ~ I have never heard of the free writing but it sounds neat, I'll try it. Also the melatonin...the sleep has been a real issue.
I can't even tell you guys how much it helps to know I'm not alone and that ya'll don't think I'm some kind of flake :)
~Ricki~
You can't pour anything out of an empty vessel, take care of yourself! |
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britchickny
True Blue Farmgirl
1048 Posts
Angie
Port Orange
Florida
1048 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2007 : 5:01:04 PM
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Dear Ricki, whatever 'the reason', you are right about the guilt. Leave it at the side of the road (and don't look back!) We live in a society that encorages us to feel as if we need to fill every waking hour! We are supposed to be all things to all people. How can we be? You know, it is okay (very okay!) to once in a while put yourself first. No, you are not being selfish by doing that, just smart. If you drive your car with your foot on the gas for miles and miles, at some point you will need to stop and put gas in the car. Sounds like you need to stop and re-fuel. That could be as easy as looking at your calender and leaving some blank spaces! As you can see by your replies, you are very much not alone. We have all been/are there and do understand.
Ricki, God loves you and He has a plan for your life. Every day He is with you.
Just take one day at a time. Angie.
"Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance" JUDE 1:2 |
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mtngirl1
True Blue Farmgirl
51 Posts
Kimberly
Roseland
Virginia
USA
51 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2007 : 05:13:15 AM
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Ricki-
I was in denial for a long time about how busy I said I wasn't and others said I was. Write down all you are doing and you will see where you need to cut back. If your priorities are out of balance, everything will be out of whack- God first, then husband, children then home and all else is after that. I also take a trip once a year for myself to re-charge. However- I also "schedule" time each week to take a breather- I mught just shut myself in our bedroom and look a t magazines or read- but my husband gives me and supports this for me each week. I find it very helpful. Prayers out to you.
Kim |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2007 : 07:20:55 AM
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I understand ..... you need to recharge your adrenals honey! The book adrenal fatigue has some great advice, as does the maker's diet.
If you are a beleiver than here's the bottom line God says in His word through Christ - You can do NOTHING without me. Is that what you are doing? How's your devotional life? You also need to let go and trust that He will provide for your friend and that maybe SHE needs to trust Him for that and you are standing in the way. Not trying to be harsh just point out things we often miss when we are in the middle of it!
You need to cut out everything outside the home you can and focus on your home, you and your kiddos by not running hither and yon all the time! (beleive me I know that's easier said than done!) Focus on your home and the routines you need there, THEN branch out from there. Build in time for you to sit and have a cup of tea - naptimes, etc.
Blessings,
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - May 01 2007 : 09:36:45 AM
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Ricki-
Let me know what you think about the free writing after you have done it a few times. It really helps me when I am stressed and my mind won't quit racing. I think it also helps us understand that perfection is not always expected or even desired (because you aren't supposed to go back and correct or re-read etc).
*hugs*
Alee
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Across the Fence: Tired and torn |
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Tired and torn
