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 The Facts of (farm-)Life
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator

3579 Posts

Anne E.
Elsinore Utah
USA
3579 Posts

Posted - Apr 28 2007 :  11:28:28 AM  Show Profile
We had three little chicks die yesterday, and my William (almost 4-years-old), is having a tough time understanding what happened - as in, "But even if they're dead, Mom, why are they still here?" and "I know they won't wake up again, Mom, but why don't they get to get back in the same place as the other chicks who are sleeping?"

How do you address the life cycles of farm animals with your little ones? I really want to foster a respect for life here without making him fear death or think that it's a "bad" thing, because we all face it with loved ones at some point. Okay veteran farm-mamas - what did you do?

XOXO, Libbie

"All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar..." - Helen Hayes

Leezard
True Blue Farmgirl

950 Posts

Elizabeth
Novi MI
USA
950 Posts

Posted - Apr 28 2007 :  6:05:09 PM  Show Profile
With my niece it's always been something that we discussed openly and as honestly as possible without being too graphic or disturbing. We explained to her how everything on earth draws life from everything else...how animals eat the grass, people eat food we grow, that it helps us all to grow up and be strong, and then animals and people die and go on to help the plants grow up and be strong. I try to express to her that life is short and we all will leave this life we're living one day so it's important for us to live as fully and love as much as we can in order to leave this life as full as possible. She's been exposed to death in animals, ones that were "hers" at my parents farm, as well as the death of loved ones and she seems to be very comfortable, so to speak, with it. I think it's got to do with how open we've all been with her but also with her personality as well which could make it difficult depending on your son's personality.

I'd imagine that there are some books out there explaining this kind of thing in more kid-friendly language. I'll try to do a little searching to see if I can come up with any for you.

http://ruby--slippers.blogspot.com/
www.leezard.etsy.com
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Leezard
True Blue Farmgirl

950 Posts

Elizabeth
Novi MI
USA
950 Posts

Posted - Apr 28 2007 :  6:11:23 PM  Show Profile
Here are a few resources I found...
http://www.ag.ndsu.edu/pubs/yf/famsci/fs441w.htm

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1878076124/griefnet
http://www.powells.com/biblio/0316109177?&PID=30070 -this is one I've seen referenced several times as being great for kids.

One thought may be doing something like a funeral for the chicks and having a place your son can go to remember the chicks as one would go to a cemetary to remember a loved one.

http://ruby--slippers.blogspot.com/
www.leezard.etsy.com
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl

11381 Posts

Jenny
middle of Utah
USA
11381 Posts

Posted - Apr 28 2007 :  6:19:58 PM  Show Profile
My kids have always had big elaborate funerals for dead pets and farm animals as well..with headstones, wooden crosses for grave markers, hymns and processionals and all sorts of stuff. I think it helps..at least with my kids. I know I liked knowing that my dog of 12 years was buried on my grandma's creekbank when I was a kid...like he was still close and I knew where he was. We have at least 2 grave markers right now out back for a rabbit and a chick that was squashed by a little girl accidentally (THAT was one sad day for her) I feel lucky that we havn't had to deal with any bigger deaths yet. I don't know how well I would deal with it myself!!

Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl

22941 Posts

Alee
Worland Wy
USA
22941 Posts

Posted - Apr 28 2007 :  9:29:05 PM  Show Profile  Send Alee a Yahoo! Message
What a great discussion. I am sure there are several of us who are going to have to deal with this in the somewhat near future. Thanks for the ideas ladies!

Alee
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Love-in-a-Mist
True Blue Farmgirl

367 Posts

Shannon
Independence Oregon
USA
367 Posts

Posted - May 09 2007 :  7:50:02 PM  Show Profile
I agree. Being open and honest and having funerals has helped my children deal with this. We're open about raising the animals for food too. There hasn't been any problems, except this year, my son(5 yrs) said that he wanted our lambs to die of old age, this time.

http://love-in-a-mist-shannon.blogspot.com/
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