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Family Matters:  I'm still here......an update....  |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 07:18:25 AM
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| Wow! Thanks Georgeann. My oldest daughter was diagnosed with melanoma at 21. Luckily, they caught it in time. She is 27 now with 2 kids but there is always that fear it will come back. We live in Calif. and I raised them at the beach and pool. Who would have thought? Thank you for the warning. We still live in a tan obsessed culture. Love to you and all that you are going through right now! |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 07:39:53 AM
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Oh Mima, I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. I'm not trying to scare you, but my mother had a "caught in time" Melanoma removed from her upper right arm 6 years ago. They really didn't do adequate follow up on her. And then this was found when she went to the ER for complaints of a severe bronchitis and then something "showed up" on her chest xray. When they did a CT scan...they found mets to liver, lung, chest wall and one kidney. She refused to have the brain CT done...she said she didn't want to know. She was healthy, vibrant, independent up until this past November. She knew how serious this was and that is why she accepted our invitation to come from Illinois to Virginia to stay with us. None of her doctors would tell her the "truth" about what stage she was in and the treatments. They could only shake there heads and say, "I'm so sorry." That is not what she needed. Education and honesty was what she needed, and I tried to do that for her....the health care community seems to have a fear of honesty in MM. (Not all mind you....it is such a difficult cancer to detect, map and treat.) They are doing wonders with immunotherapy, but you must be young and strong to endure this treatment. My mother at 71 had no real treatment options that assured her prolongation of life with a high measure of quality, so she chose no treatment, hospice and alleviation of symptoms. This was a viable option for her at 71 with a daughter who is an experienced RN. My mother and I have carefully balanced medications with symptoms to give her the best quality of time and life as possible. The hospice nurse stated that Mom has done so very well. Occasional pain spikes that are totally managed quickly with minimal drug intervention has kept her alert and on her feet far longer than many...that is what the Hospice nurse said.
I'm probably overstepping my boundaries here....but is your daughter getting aggressive follow-up monitoring? Lab tests for melanoma markers, CT scans, body checks? Malignant Melanoma has an affinity for the brain, heart and lungs....goes there very easily and sometimes even bypasses the lymph nodes. My mother's lymphs all tested negative....so sentinal node negativity is not always a home free pass. My heart goes out to you dear farmgirl. If she doesn't have regular and frequent checks...push her to. Love her, hug her, do everything you can to get her monitored..........I don't know everything about MM. Never will. Just comments from a farmgirl in the trenches right now.
Thankyou for sharing your experience with this!!
Georgann
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 07:48:29 AM
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| I know this is very hard as I just went through the process a little dif. not a nurse but what got me through was knowing she was returning to God and my job was to let her know it was ok to go! It was ok to stop fighting and everyone else would be ok. You are strong that is why u carry this load. I am sorry u have to endure this but your faith will get u through. I hope I am not over stepping boundaries just trying to help ((((hugs))) |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 07:59:47 AM
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| Thank you GeorgeAnn, you are not overstepping your boundaries at all! I truly do appreciate it. It is always a huge concern for me about her and my other three children. I'm going to be bugging her alot more after this I can tell you! Thank you and lots of hugs going your way!!!! |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 08:51:03 AM
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Carrie, I am so sorry for your loss....It is so hard, no matter what the circumstances. My being a nurse can sometimes be a detriment. I sometimes miss the tree through the forest. *g* And no you aren't overstepping your boundries! I hope I don't sound like some beg know it all....because I am so NOT!! Thank you, you brought up a great point. I think I am entering the rhelm where I need to let go so that Mom will know it is OK to let go too!
Thank you all again......farmgirls are the greatest!!
Oh, and Mima......go girl!!!
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 09:26:12 AM
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| I am now crying for u and wrapping you in white light. I know it is hard but value every moment u have left. I am so sorry but know sh e is going back to God and will always be with u and waiting for your return. It is one of the hardest things in life letting go but we only make it harder for others by not letting go!! You still have time to let her know all you need to remember, hearing goes last!! If there is anything I can do let me know I am here for you!! More ((((hugs))) |
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Huckelberrywine
True Blue Farmgirl
1607 Posts
Michelle
Rosalia
1607 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 10:27:30 AM
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Bless your big heart! We're all with you, Georgann. Lots of strength to you.
We make a difference. |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 11:42:26 AM
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Praying for you & your sweet momma too Georgann.
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
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lamamama
True Blue Farmgirl
255 Posts
Melanie
CA
USA
255 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 9:31:08 PM
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Georgann, here is a big Farmgirl & Nurse (((((((((HUG))))))))) for you.
And a sincere expression of gratitude for the reminder of the very real dangers of the sun.
I'm so sorry to hear of how you Mom has suffered from MM.
May you be blessed with strength & deep peace,
Melanie |
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sewgirlie
True Blue Farmgirl
1894 Posts
Sheryl-lyn
Calverton
NY
USA
1894 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2007 : 3:36:47 PM
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You are in my thoughts and prayers. I have been a fulltime caregiver for someone in the past and it was both the most rewarding and most heartwrenching thing I ever had to do. You are a blessing to your family and I admire you so much.
XXOO Sheryl-lyn |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 07 2007 : 4:12:23 PM
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Update....again.......
Mom is pretty much bedbound now. She doesn't know who I am, but she does know that it is a loving hand caring for her, because she is responding to me. I tell her I love her and she says she loves me. She is comfortable, and resting quietly at the moment.
Tomorrow is Easter. My husband went out to get things for the girls, but I forgot to make a list of Easter dinner things to pick up, so I have nothing to put together for dinner......but I guess we will have an Easter Pizza. The girls will love that!! LOL....we did squeeze time together to make a bunny cake today. It is really cute and the girls and I had alot of fun making it. We are going to eat him tonight! *g* Mom is not eating much now....little yogurt, half of a popscicle and sips of water...so I don't really think I'm up to fixing a big meal anyway.
Thank you for your continued prayers, love and healing light,
Georgann
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2007 : 07:50:27 AM
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| I hope you have a wonderful day with your precious family. I think pizza sounds like the BEST Easter dinner!!! You can really just relax, enjoy the day and your family. Hugs!!! |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2007 : 08:16:13 AM
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Thanks again everyone.
Okay, today, the daughter must leave and the nurse MUST take over now. Mom doesn't know who I am. She stares blankly at me. I have been in such a grieving state that I have been unable to really do what Mom needs at this point. I was so exhausted last night, (my old back injury was throbbing....I've been lifting and turning her by myself she weighs about 225lbs., I took some Tylenol to help with the pain), emotionally and physically and spiritually that I fell asleep for about 6 hours. Now Mom can't get out of bed, but she can roll herself over to her favorite side. I have been so careful about keeping her turned, under her protest, keeping her clean, dry and moisturized. Keeping her hydrated and oxygenated, then with my falling asleep, she got over on her side, where she loves, pulled off her oxygen and stayed there for six hours, while this slacker slept. (I've barely slept in over a week.) So anyway, I was bathing her and turned her off of her side, and there it was.....a red spot on her right lateral hip......ARGH!!!!!!!!! Basic nursing care.........keep them turned at all costs, especially when they are not eating or drinking well (which she hasn't for two days now.) The skin is not broken, and it does blanch.....but dear God, I've let her down. My DH says, you can't do it all George.....I told her this morning while bathing her that, her daughter must let the nurse take over and now I was her nurse and she must do what I say. (She has been slightly belligerent and agitated the past two nights.) So I must put the grieving aside and let the nurse step up to the plate. I pray for strength and I pray for stamina and I pray for insomnia so that I may keep the 24/7 vigil. This can't happen to her, not now, and I will pull out all of tricks to keep this from getting any worse. Thanks friends for letting me bare my soul and get this out of my system.
I'm working frantically now to get a guest room ready for my brother and his wife. They just let me know yesterday that they are staying here for a couple of days to be with mom. And may possibly stay here and drive back and forth to DC househunting this next week.
georgann
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
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mima
True Blue Farmgirl
1573 Posts
1573 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2007 : 5:41:49 PM
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| Oh! I,m so sorry for all your pain! I wish you could get a little help so you could get a little rest. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You seem like you are doing way more than humanly possible.Would it be possible to get a litlle help a couple days a week. I hope I'm not over stepping my boundaries, but we are all worried about you! Please take care! Lots of prayers and hugs! |
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newheart
True Blue Farmgirl
471 Posts
Margie
Owings Mills
Maryland
USA
471 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2007 : 6:03:51 PM
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Georgeann, You are in my Thoughts and Prayers tonight and will be from now on.. You never mentioned your troubles to me before so I feel bad not offering comfort before this time...
(:(:(:HUGS:):):) and love to you...
NEWHEART
margie
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2007 : 6:07:12 PM
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Thank you gals! I'm really OK. I hope I don't sound like a whiner. In one way, I'm journaling here. I plan on copying this and pasting it in a journal later. I am really ok now. I have a new determination and strength. I feel mentally refreshed by just finding my nurse deep inside there and pulling her up. Mom is actually not fighting me. I just put on my nurse face and treat her like I would a patient in the hospital. I have always tried to make each one of my patients feel like they are the only person I have. I have always tried to do my very best and always in the back of my mind thought. What if that were my mother or my sister or father lying in that bed right now. Well, now it is! Please don't worry friends. I truly am OK right now. I feel this strength bolstering me. I have the worlds best DH and two DD's. He has really stepped up to the plate the past two days and is taking over the girls and the kitchen and is planning on doing the cooking tomorrow evening when my brother and SIL are here so that I can just take care of the girls and Mom. Gosh I do love him. It is like I told the Hospice nurse and chaplain. This has a definite ending point....and my nursing gut says it is only a few more days that I will have my sweet mom to take care of and to feel her warm hand, and to stroke her soft gray hair, so I am not going to complain anymore!!! Buck up little soldier....(I'm telling myself that.) Run the good race and fight the good fight. I guess I am doing no more than so many other women have done here. I just whine alot...LOL. I knew what I was taking on when I stepped up to the family plate. But it is still hard to see mom like this....oh, and that red spot is almost gone....phew....disaster averted!! I have just pulled out every old nursing trick in the book...many that new grads have never even heard of! LOL.....anyway. Thank you to all of my farmgirl friends. Ya'll are the best!! Oh, and Mima, you are not overstepping your boundries. I think what you said is very kind and loving!!
I hope everyone had a great Easter!!
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2007 : 11:56:41 PM
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I am continuing to think of and pray for you and your family. I wish you the strength of a thousand farmgirls, the love from a loving God and the peace and warmth of a mother's embrace. (((HUGS))) and as you wear that nurses cap, know that you are doing all nurses and most of all your mother proud!
Hugz n Prayers Always,
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 04:16:55 AM
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Georgann - My prayers are with you and your family. Your mother raised a wonderful daughter. I so admire what you are doing, and how much courage you have. God bless you.
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 08:42:26 AM
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| We are all glad to be updated and you are not whinning we are here to listen and help in anyway!! I am glad to see you will have some family there!! It is ok to get help I understand u want to be there every minute just take care of yourself is all we ask. You DH sounds wonderful but do listen to him perhaps with your brother there you will be able to squeeze in some naps. Take care cause we care!!! I will keep sending prayers of strength (hugs) |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2007 : 10:21:36 AM
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I continue to pray for you Georgeann. ((hug))
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2007 : 05:54:49 AM
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Mom is resting peacefully right now. I have the shades open so she can see the white dogwoods and the pink crabapple blossoms. The birds are singing their morning Spring songs for her today. I hope that when she wakes she will enjoy these gifts from the creator.
I honestly think that she has fought the good fight and is now near to being called home to be with dad. It may not be today, but her time is near, I do feel the gathering of angels.
Thank you for remembering us in your prayers.
Georgann
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2007 : 06:56:31 AM
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| Peace and strength be with you and your family. I think of you often and your mother. I pray she is also at peace and able to make the transition easily and remember we only loose the physical being the spirit remains within us.((( Lots of hugs and prayers))) |
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MustangSuzie
True Blue Farmgirl
634 Posts
Sarah
New London
Missouri
USA
634 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2007 : 12:34:31 PM
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Hugs, peace and strength to you (((G)))))
Blessings....
Sarah
"In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations." -From The Great Law Of The Iroquois Confederacy.
REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE!!!!
http://mustangsuzie.wordpress.com
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Family Matters: I'm still here......an update.... |
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I'm still here......an update....
