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Family Matters:  I'm still here......an update....  |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 07:13:41 AM
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Things have been very busy here lately. I am the "mater" between two pieces of bread. I have read about women juggling responsibilities of children and aging parents, but never thought I'd be here. My daughters are such loving dear girls (7 and 9). They are taking mommy being busy with grandma with such aplomb! (always wanted to use that word in a sentence! LOL) Mom is weakening day by day and it has become a true 24/7 care with her. I shall never regret any moment that I spend with her. I shall always see her as 36 years old. I shall always remember how she would braid my long pigtails and run her fingers through my hair. I'll never forget the many times I scared her by hiding in the house and jumping out, giggling as she walked by. She would jump and scream and giggle every time. So no matter how confused she gets, how difficult it is to get her frail body out of bed to the commode, no matter how many times she wakes during the night, I shall be here for her until the end. I thank heavens for the privilege of being here to care for her. My sister says that my life has been guided in this direction for years. My training as a nurse, was always meant to be here to care for our mother. She might be right.
It is hard to see what will be on the other side of all of this. At times I feel I don't ever want to go back to the hospital to nurse again. At times I want to just be a seamstress, or a bookseller or a blogger or just me. The hospice has already offered me a job when I am available. I've been having to draw the labs on my mother, because they don't have anyone who can stick Mom successfully. So that just expands my roll here. I thought it would be difficult, but I just put on my nurse "cap" and be the nurse for a few moments and just do whatever it takes. I know that I can stick her without hurting her, so I do it.
Anyway, thanks for hanging in there with me farmgirls......If I owe you a package, just know that I have not forgotten, and I thank you for being patient with me. I shall NOT forget, it just might be very, very delayed. I am on schedule with the wedding dress though...never fear, it shall be completed!! I love working on this project....gets my mind off of things a bit!! I have been working on the headpiece...what fun it is!! Anyway, thanks farmgirls!!!
G
oh and one more thing....my husband,s auntie is on life support and is holding her own. I am very glad that I have been able to help over the phone with answering their questions about care for her. My nursing background has indeed come in handy in the past few months!
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
Edited by - Aunt George on Apr 03 2007 07:16:36 AM |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 07:31:15 AM
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Good for you, georgann. I know your Mother truely appreciates all you do for her even if she cannot tell you. And you are there for her out of love. Only if everyone could be so cared for. And if anyone is waiting for anything they can continue to wait because you have more important things to attend to. MB
www.strawberryhillsfarm.blogspot.com
www.day4plus.blogspot.com www.holyhouses-day4plus.blogspot.com
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!" |
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Nancy Gartenman
True Blue Farmgirl
9094 Posts
Nancy
West Seneca
New York
USA
9094 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 08:21:05 AM
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My goodness Georgann, you are a wonder, I couldn't do what you are doing, you are amazing. I was worried about you, so was glad to see your post today. Wish I was near so I could help with something while you do all the hard stuff.
NANCY JO
www.Nancy-Jo.blogspot.com |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 08:29:55 AM
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Georgann,
I am getting teary eyed. I have been thinking about you and your mom, wondering how she has been doing, but afraid to ask, and I didn''t want to bother you. I wish I could be there in person, to help you with.....whatever.
(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))
Blessed Be!
farmgirl@heart
"Go confidently in the directions of your dreams; live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler." - Henry David Thoreau
http://chevy49girl.livejournal.com/
http://midwestmusings-kim.blogspot.com/
http://chevy49girl.deviantart.com/ |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 08:49:04 AM
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hugs to you Georgann.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 09:13:37 AM
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THere you are Georgann..I wondered how things were going. Your family is so blessed to have you. You amaze me. Hang in there!! We love you
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 10:04:18 AM
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Georgann- You are a Wonder Woman! How fortunate for your mom to have you care for her. ((Hugs)) going your way.
Karin
Wherever you go, there you are. |
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Meg
Moderator/Farmgirl True
974 Posts
Meg
Idaho
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 10:12:54 AM
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Georgann~ you are in my thoughts. Many farmgirl hugs and smooches being sent your way...
MaryJane's daughter,
Meg
megan@maryjanesfarm.org |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22944 Posts
22944 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 11:37:56 AM
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Georgann-
A few years ago I spent a few weeks at my parent's home being a caregiver for my dying Grandfather. This time with family is wonderful and heartrending at the same time. I think you are wonderful for giving so much of yourself back to your mother just as she needs it the most.
One thing I realized when my Grandfather passed away was that I felt much less grief at his passing. By being able to spend so much time with him, I knew he understood how much I loved him and we got to have some amazing conversations that we otherwise would not have had. I also saw the pain he was in and the quality of life that he had.
I hope that you are taking care of yourself as well! Please come chat with us on those days that try to overwhelm! *hugs*
Alee |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 12:05:50 PM
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Thanks all of my farm girl friends. Thanks for sharing your experiences too. It does tear at my heart every day. My Moms and I have always been close by phone. I was married and moved away at the age of 17 and never lived close. I think of all of those years away...I'm 49 now, and she is only 22 years older than I. I would die of a broken heart if my daughters left me at the age of 17. My sister and two other siblings lived close to her all of those years....and I always wanted to live close, but marriages just never worked it out that way. So when she fell ill, my sweet husband said that she had to come live here, because he could see how much my heart was breaking. And as a nurse, I knew in November how rough it would be for her without 24/7 care. She is not a rich women, and neither are we, but she could possibly have been at the mercy of the system, and working in the hospital for 24 years and home care nursing for 3, I had seen first hand what that could do to someone. I do cry almost every day now. I'm crying right now, sitting here looking at her sleeping quietly. Listening to the whirr, whoosh of her oxygen machine and thinking how lucky I am to have her with me, even if she is ill. I am also thankful for all of the kind words all of you have shared with me....thank you. I've read where we all must learn life lessons, and I have been pondering this at great length as of late, and I still don't know what I am to learn from all of this, except perhaps how to live fully outside of myself. How to give fully and ask for nothing in return...but I have always been that way. I learned that from my Mom and now I am trying to give all of that love back to her. Oh, silly me, sometimes I get soooo mushy!! Later, and thanks for understanding.
G
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
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sunshine
True Blue Farmgirl
4877 Posts
Wendy
Utah
USA
4877 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 1:10:16 PM
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I wish you and your mother health and much love. I wish I could be the care giver for my grandmother right now I understand the blessing it is to spend time with loved ones in need. My mother in law is the care giver for bother her father and her husbands mother on a full time bases, they both live with her. Every now and again I just tell her she is an angel in a human body the same can be said for you. It is a very hard road to pull I took care of my husbands grandmother for two weeks so his mom could go to a funeral in Montana it is more exhausting than having children and you are doing both. May god send angels your way to give you strength and love.
Take care
sunshine
have a lovely day and may God bless you and keep you safe my blog http://sunshinescreations.blogspot.com
my web stores www.sunshines.etsy.com and http://vintagethreads.etsy.com
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happymama58
True Blue Farmgirl
1210 Posts
Patti
Missouri
USA
1210 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 2:52:16 PM
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Georgeann, I will keep you, your mom, your little ones, etc. in my prayers. I'm about your age, and while my kids are older than yours and my mother is in good health, thank goodness (at 74), I know I'm just a fall, or a stroke, or pneumonia, or something away from her situation being totally different.
I've always told my kids that there comes a time --
when dh was a pallbearer at his grandmother's funeral
when we sit and patiently listen to my mil tell the same story
time & again
when my mom gets on their nerves because she's emotionally "needy"
that it is our turn to take care to to tend as our elders tended us when we were little. You're setting a wonderful example of love and respect that your children can only be blessed by for having witnessed it. God bless you!
Some people search for happiness; others create it.
Please visit me at www.marykay.com/pmiinch |
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shelle
True Blue Farmgirl
404 Posts
Shelle
oklahoma
USA
404 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 3:20:38 PM
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(((Georgeann)))
What a blessing you are for your dear mother. She is very lucky to have such a wonderful daughter as you at this time of her life. I have been through both of my husbands parents passing from cancers so I can imagine how this is for you now. Please take a little time for yourself now and then when you can. I'll send up prayers for your dear mother, you and your family. Take care of yourself and God Bless you!
Shelle
http://janzenfamilyjournal.blogspot.com/ |
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windypines
True Blue Farmgirl
4567 Posts
Michele
Bruce
Wisconsin
USA
4567 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 4:16:34 PM
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| Georgeann, you have our support too. Michele |
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lamamama
True Blue Farmgirl
255 Posts
Melanie
CA
USA
255 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 5:02:41 PM
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Oh dear, Georgann..... what a rocky road you are traveling right now. But I think it is both a burden and a blessing, and your rewards will be great.
Your words are so beautifully written, and are among the best I've ever read on this tender but powerful subject.
You really are bringing the circle of life, the circle of love, to it's intended closure - and you are doing so with such grace, wisdom and love. No one could ask for a better end to her days, or for a better daughter than you are. (And as one Nurse to another, I can certainly see that you are a shining example of the honor of our profession.)
THANK YOU so very much for sharing this precious, intimate part of your life with us. And please, when you can find the time and the strength, let us know how things are going. I also hope you are keeping some kind of a journal during this time........ what a wonderful gift it would be for your children, when they are older.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love and light,
Melanie |
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daffodil dreamer
True Blue Farmgirl
805 Posts
Jayne
Hamilton
Victoria
Australia
805 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 7:23:03 PM
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Georgann,
You really are the sweetest, most caring famrgirl ever! Your family are so blessed to have you in their lives, and your mum must feel so loved with all the care and devotion you are giving her. And what an inspirational example for your girls. You are in my thoughts and heart every day.
Best wishes,
Jayne |
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cinnamongirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1682 Posts
Carrie
Canada
1682 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 9:57:03 PM
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| God be with u I had a cry and now I say keep up your strength and know u did what a good person would. Love and hugs |
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Buttercup
True Blue Farmgirl
1433 Posts
Talitha
Vermont
USA
1433 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 10:32:03 PM
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Georgann,
My heart aches and rejoices for you all at the same time. I know what it is like to put the nurses cap on and do things for your family that are hard and difficult yet knowing they depend on you and feeling blessed through the sorrow to be able to be there for them. I know what it is like to care for an aging and ill family member and watch life ebb from their once life filled bodies. And I know what it is like to hold someone dear as they pass on to the next life. I also know the memories and joy you feel and relive as you sit there with them hour after hour. A story, the sound of their laugh, a favorite moment or time. With tears in my eyes and heart I am there with you and am thankful you have this blessing yet understand the heartache it is bringing to you now. I will be thinking of you and praying for you and sending warm and caring thoughts your way. Cherish every moment, yet dont forget to take some time for you! I hope you feel the love and strength from all of us here as we wish you and your family the very best we can! (((HUGS)))
Always your friend,
Talitha
"If we could maintain the wonder of childhood and at the same time grasp the wisdom of age, what wonder,what wisdom,what life would be ours" |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2007 : 11:38:42 PM
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Gosh, I am so blessed and touched by all of your heartfelt replies. Yes, Talitha, I can feel the strength from all of the farmgirls. It is truly a blessed network of loving friends. It is 2:12 am right now. I've had about an hour of sleep. The house is finally quiet. Mom was not resting well, she was tossing and moaning and somehow worked herself into quite a pickle and couldn't flip back over. (I don't know how she got over onto her tummy, but anyway, I think she was just too weak to turn back) Well, I got her up to the commode and bathed her from head to toe, snapped clean, crisp sheets onto her bed, smoothed a nice fragrant powder onto her skin (it's hot here in VA) rubbed her bum with some nice lotion and protective ointment on the bits, helped her back to bed and she is sleeping like a sweet little lamb right now. Sometimes it is just the basic care that helps the most. That is the heart and soul of nursing. Basic human touch and care. I hope hospital administrators are never successful in robbing the patients of that one human kindness...the touch of another.
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Edited by - Aunt George on Apr 04 2007 03:56:36 AM |
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Kim
True Blue Farmgirl
146 Posts
Kim
Pflugerville
Texas
USA
146 Posts |
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2007 : 04:26:38 AM
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Dear Georgann,
Your devotion and care is a testament to what a wonderful woman your mother is. My heart just filled with so many emotions reading your post. My prayers are with you and your family!
My soul magnifies the Lord, And my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. Luke 1:46,47
www.beequilting.blogspot.com
http://beemoosie-picture-diary.blogspot.com/ |
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Aunt Karen
Farmgirl in Training
33 Posts
West Central Idaho
USA
33 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2007 : 05:09:49 AM
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Georgann, I have always lived close to my mom but last year moved away from her. I miss her alot. I am glad you are getting to help your mom during this time. You and yours are in my thoughts and prayers.
Karen |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2007 : 11:51:09 PM
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Oh, Georgann - what an amazing, kind woman you are. Your words bring back to me thoughts of my mother - she has been a caretaker for her family members as they age and weaken. She has seen four people through...including her own father. Reading your posts reminds me of watching how tired she would be sometimes, and how kind, and how she would always say that this was what she was "supposed" to do, and how her father would call her by name in the middle of the night. What you are doing is truely matchless and priceless. Sending love and strength...
XOXO, Libbie
"All through the long winter, I dream of my garden. On the first day of spring, I dig my fingers deep into the soft earth. I can feel its energy, and my spirits soar..." - Helen Hayes |
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country lawyer
True Blue Farmgirl
1022 Posts
1022 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 04:08:22 AM
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Georgann, Just saw this and had to say "thanks." "Thanks" for being such an incredible example of a daughter and farmgirl and caregiver and person. We are here to support you. Thoughts of hope and strength headed your way.
[size=1]"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
James Taylor
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 04:31:46 AM
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Thank you all, Well we have crossed a nail biting hurdle. My primary worry, and believe me I have been in an internal panic for two weeks, has been her safety. She has been in a very weakened physical state and her strength is diminishing daily. But she has still up until this early am, had the drive to get out of bed to use the commode. This morning, she could barely hold her trunk up while sitting, and it was difficult to get back into bed for her, doing it her chosen way. The Hospice Chaplain visited with us yesterday for about an hour. She and I talked privately and I cried and cried....not meaning to...and she brought up so many wonderful points. Perhaps mom has been pushing so hard thinking this is what I want and need. (I have shared with Mom many times, that where and whatever she wanted I would try to do if this is what she truly wanted.) The chaplain told me, sometimes the nurse must take over and tell Mom that it truly was time and that it was ok not to push it so hard. She asked me how I would counsel a family member in my position, and I would tell them to be kind to themselves, encourage a bladder catheter and tell your loved one to rest, that it is Ok to rest, it is ok not to get up and push it all of the time. So that is what I did. I took my own advice. I inserted a bladder catheter this morning at 6am. She had such peace with this step when I offered it this time. She knew it was her time to take this next step. This means that she will be in less falling danger and my internal churning is starting to take a deep breath and big sigh.
Now here is my plea to all farmgirls reading this. We are going into the summer time when the sun's bright warm life giving rays....can also take your life. PLEASE wear your sunblock. Sunblock your children. Wear bonnets, hats, long sleeves. Don't forget to protect the tops of your ears and your noses too...especiallyfarmgirls and farmmen and farmkids who golf or work the fields...also backs and necks!!! Women....most of the lesions that are MM are found on the legs and arms of women. Use a SPF of at least 30 when out in the sun and please, please apply it frequently. Also wear sunglasses that block the uv rays. I cannot express this enough. The sun gives life and the sun takes life. Malignant Melanoma is a monster of a cancer. It crosses all age barriers and socioeconomic levels. It takes mothers, fathers, sisters brothers and children. Also please do mole checks! If they are irregular in shape or color. Larger than 6mm. Anything showing up on the face suddenly, any mole that itches and or bleeds. OR if you have any skin lesion that looks unusual in any way.......please go to the MD!!
My mother was born and raised in Texas. She and her family were sharecroppers then farmers in California...she was out in the sun all of the time before there was such a thing as sunblock. If you are alergic to the oxybenzoin in the sunblock use the ones with zinc oxide. Please......I'm begging you farmgirl friends!
Here is a wonderful website to consider:
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/PED/PED_7.asp?sitearea=PED&gclid=CMmFyvm8q4sCFRwtSgod0USRNQ
Protect your loved ones. Remember sun damage is cumulative throughout your whole life. So those sunburns you received as a kid have increased your chances to develop Malignant Melanoma significantly as an adult!!!!
Malignant Melanoma is a monster. There is no cure for it. There is lots of research going on, but it is still just that. Research. One of the most effective treatments for it once it is diagnosed is EARLY diagnosis and aggressive treatment along with diligent follow-up. There are promising detection blood markers being developed, but PREVENTION, INSPECTION, SWIFT TREATMENT!!
Thanks for listening to my soapbox tirade!!
Georgann
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/index.html
Thanks for checking out my apron and sewing musings! |
Edited by - Aunt George on Apr 05 2007 04:38:50 AM |
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MustangSuzie
True Blue Farmgirl
634 Posts
Sarah
New London
Missouri
USA
634 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2007 : 06:36:02 AM
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(((((((Georgann)))))))
I've been away and just now am catching up here. My heart goes out to you as well as prayers and blessings. I know it must give your mother such peace to know that you are taking care of her. And it must be comforting that she is able to be cared for at home. As well as homebirths, I think that if someone can stay out of the hospital or nursing home and be cared for at home it is the best way. Hang in there dear sister and know that you are being thought of. You are such an inspiration.
Many hugs
Blessings....
Sarah
"In our every deliberation, we must consider the impact of our decisions on the next seven generations." -From The Great Law Of The Iroquois Confederacy.
REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE!!!!
http://mustangsuzie.wordpress.com
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Family Matters: I'm still here......an update.... |
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I'm still here......an update....
