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Across the Fence:  Mean people  |
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candismom
True Blue Farmgirl
560 Posts
Elizabeth
560 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 3:27:54 PM
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What do people have to be so mean? I have this one lady who for the past 2 years has read my blog then goes to her blog and says mean things about my post. She totally disagrees with my plain lifestyle. She is more into the hard simple life. She feels if you aren't suffering then you aren't living a simple life. That is nuts. I decided today to never check her blog again. I don't care what she thinks of me. I just don't understand mean people. Does anyone esle?
Thanks for listening.
Hugs,
Elizabeth |
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Tracey
True Blue Farmgirl
766 Posts
Tracey
State of Confusion
USA
766 Posts |
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Woodswoman
True Blue Farmgirl
512 Posts
Jennifer
Altamont
NY
USA
512 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 3:39:41 PM
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I don't understand them either. I think your plan to not visit her site again is a good one-she's not worth it!!
Jennifer |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 3:53:36 PM
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I did that recently with a former friend who really turned on me. I stopped reading her blog because she had NOTHING nice to say about me, regardless of the fact that I haven't said a bad thing about her to anyone. The woman who is writing baout you is more than likely miserable in her lifestyle, envies you and is projecting what she feels about herself onto you. I wouldn't let it get you down...keep living your beautiful, plain and simple life. Your life is full and you are happy and that is all that matters.
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
Blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://frugalwitch.wordpress.com
http://tasharose365.wordpress.com/
Homepage: http://mysticwoodsfarm.com
http://gaiasrose.etsy.com
Birth is safe, interference is risky; TRUST BIRTH |
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candismom
True Blue Farmgirl
560 Posts
Elizabeth
560 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 4:04:53 PM
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Thanks everyone for the encouagement. Farm girl pals are the best.
My blog is at www.athomewithelizabeth.blogspot.com
and my food blog is www.inthekitchenwithelizabeth.blogspot.com
I think she feel must guilty because we use to be in a group together and we were swap partners. once. I mailed my package but she never did. Since that time she has been on the attack.
Hugs,
Elizabeth |
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pinkroses
True Blue Farmgirl
2350 Posts
Sheila
Virginia
USA
2350 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 4:24:31 PM
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Why can't people just let one be the way they want.
I agree with you
Is there any way you can block her from your blog?
I don't know much about those things.
People can be so mean and hateful
Hugs to you pinkroses |
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katie-ell
True Blue Farmgirl
1818 Posts
Katie
Illinois
1818 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 4:30:37 PM
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Isn't it odd that some people wish to gossip in cyberspace? I just don't understand why someone would post mean things about others in their own blog -- just shows everyone what they themselves are made of. Sending those negative things out to the world can do nothing but bring ill winds onto the sender.
So . . . ignore! Ignore the attack and focus on sending love and peace out into the universe. (And you are doing just that, Elizabeth -- you are!) |
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kitchensqueen
True Blue Farmgirl
521 Posts
521 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 4:34:31 PM
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Sounds like this lady has problems-- she didn't send a swap package to you, and now she's bashing everything you say on your blog? I take it she doesn't do much else with her day if that's all she's up to... I think you're right to stop checking her blog, and I wonder if there's a way you can prevent her from accessing yours? At the very least, you could ban her from leaving comments on yours (if she has). I would just cut off all interaction with her and leave it at that. People can just be so weird sometimes...
http://apartmentfarm.wordpress.com
Opening in March 2007:
http://shadetreestudios.etsy.com |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 4:49:27 PM
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Elizabeth,
I had an acquaintance from church who many people turned away from because she was hard to get along with. We were both bloggers and wrote each other encouraging comments, prayed for each other etc. At one point my blog posts got fewer because I was just feeling quiet, you know?  She apparently took this personally and blocked me (and a number of others) from her blog, stating that only folks who "really cared" about her could have access. She had narrowed down her list of "caring" friends several times before. I think she judged how much a person cared by the number of comments they left...very high schoolish.
I wrote her a concerned email asking if I had offended her. WELL.... wow! She unleashed her personal fury at being widowed and things being harder for her than they are for everyone else, right down on my happily married, getting on with life little head. So many had given up on her because she seemed to always be in the center of drama. Several folks who had tried to help her warned me...but I don't give up easily. I felt bad for her and tried to stick by her, but I finally decided it was time to unsubscribe and block her from my own blog. Sad when this happens but as Georgette said it's pearls to swine...
Blessings Elizabeth!
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
Edited by - abbasgurl on Feb 16 2007 4:50:50 PM |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 5:11:06 PM
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"Those that fear us must attack us". That is what I would tell my boys when someone would start up with them. I wanted them to know that if you are living your life to the fullest you never had time to bother with those who wanted to tear you down. Also, now one has power over you unless you give them that power. Stand strong in your own beliefs and power and soon you will not even remember she is there. Hugs from this gal to you.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com |
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jo Thompson
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jo
the mountainside of the Chugach
in Alaska
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 6:07:45 PM
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Dear Elizabeth, she's probably just jealous of all those girls who love to tune in to your little neck of the world........... just be you and stay around with us for some good company!! jo
"life is drab without a lab"
http://homepage.mac.com/thomja/Anchorage/PhotoAlbum15.html |
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babs
True Blue Farmgirl
226 Posts
Babette
MN
USA
226 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 8:14:38 PM
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Strangely enough.. I also did that to a friend not too long ago. This person has nothing nice to say about people behind their backs and it didn't take me long to realize I could easily change places with them with a false step. Thats when I emotionally withdrew from the relationship overall. I wish I had simply ended it with a clean break. If I have any advice to offer you, it's to do just that. Make a clean break and don't look back.
This person will just never *get it*. I wouldn't even bother trying to figure out why people are the way they are. They just ARE, and you either accept them or you don't. But you can not put logic to illogical people. You can't rationalize crazy, and you can't make someone act like a grownup. She has a right to say what she says, but if reading it causes you distress you sure as heck don't have to invite her into your life by clicking on her page.
Hugs Elizabeth.
Babs |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2007 : 10:35:24 PM
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When I was in the military, one of my instructors told us that most people mistake kindness for weakness. If you think about it, it's true. I went thru a period of retaliating and after a while, I realized it wasn't worth it. Now if someone is mean to me, I cut them out of my life and go on my merry way. It's hard to do at first cuz we are so taught to 'be nice' to everyone but some folks just aren't worth the heartache and pain. I feel for you, I really do.
Happy Trails
Don't sweat the small stuff... |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 03:40:21 AM
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I believe in kindness and it breaks my heart when mean people do mean and stupid things to others.
Often it does make them feel superior, when really, inside they are weak and have insecurity issues.
Lord knows there's enough badness in the world, so I applaud those of us trying to shed a little light.
I used to bake for my co workers all the time. We have had 3 new female additions to our section who are younger. For once, I am the eldest (yea, at the tender age of 37!?.) I have been taken in by 2 and we have great fun together, but the 3rd definately has insecurity issues. This gal bakes all the time. I don't feel one-upped, I'm just not going to compete. I bake usually to lift morale and to try new recipes out. I haven't brought anyting in for months now. This doesn't bother me in the least really, its more an observation. I can understand feeling new and all ,but its really interesting how others cope w/ their stress. |
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Horseyrider
True Blue Farmgirl
1045 Posts
Mary Ann
Illinois
1045 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 04:41:22 AM
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Winona and Anna, you two have really hit the nail on the head. When people behave like this, it says far more about them than it does about you. They're bitter, feel very insecure, and try to take down those around them that they perceive as having more or better. Funny thing is, it's not generally more or better, just different, although they can't accept that.
I remember wincing when I'd hear Dennis Miller say "That one needs to be taken down a peg or two." To me that isn't funny. That's the voice of a person who is weak and insecure, and cannot live and let live.
It's not about you, Elizabeth. It's about her and her own lack of self worth. You're doing just fine. Block her if it contributes to your peace of mind, and enjoy your life as you prefer to live it. |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 05:32:48 AM
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I often wonder what makes people so mean to do the things they do. No regard for anything good. I guess they just must be so miserable inside, they have to be and to talk about someone they know just from a blog is a bit mind blowing but I wouldn't waste too much energy on them. They seem to waste enough for themselves. Pray for them, they need it!
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 07:44:54 AM
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I really think for the most part, it comes down to low self esteem. They some how think that by putting others down, it will make them look better. But honestly, it just makes them look petty and only adds to the low self esteem, because deep down they know what they are doing is wrong. I personally make an effort to pray for those people . . . it doesn't change the facts, but what it does do is soften my heart towards them . . . makes me see them with compassion (okay, I admit, sometimes pity!) instead of anger. I can process this much easier than anger and it certainly helps me keep things in perspective. And I have come to realize, with age and time, that these put downs honestly don't hurt me. My real friends believe in me no matter what and the rest really doesn't matter.
Hugs & Blessings to you all!
Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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horse
True Blue Farmgirl
371 Posts
laura
pontotoc
mississippi
USA
371 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 08:41:37 AM
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I have a son who has a learning disability. David, who is 17 but looks 13. Kids can be so cruel but I blieve it starts at home. I tell David not to worry for those kind of people are the ones who are misserable and unhappy with life. They can not stand anyone else who is happy or going on with life. Just stay away from them but speak to them then just go on. They are not happy unless they make you unhappy.
Laura
www.2lmzfarms.blogspot.com |
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oceanfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
231 Posts
Rachel
A Little Closer to Heaven
Oregon Coast
USA
231 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 09:10:45 AM
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I don't want to sound like one of the "mean" people, so please know that I do not intend for this to come out that way.
IMO, if this woman is not posting rude comments on YOUR blog, then you should do nothing other than remove yourself from the friendship. You have found out her true colors, and know now that she is two faced. Her opinion of you is not up to you. You can't make everyone like you, and you can't make everyone be nice to you. What she says about you is her business. Friends that know you, and are true friends will not be swayed by her words.
You CAN control the negetivity that YOU bring into your home. If you are going to her blog to read what she says about you, STOP. That is YOU hurting you. No one else. YOU are to blame for allowing her poison to draw you to her. So stop going and seeking out the negetive, and find a friend on line or in real life, who is a positive influence on your happiness.
That's my 2 cents!
rachel
See what I'm up to on my blog... http://minetothine.blogspot.com
OR check out my gardening activities at http://oceanfarmgirlsgarden.blogspot.com |
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candismom
True Blue Farmgirl
560 Posts
Elizabeth
560 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 09:50:18 AM
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Thanks so much everyone for your kind words. I don't read her blog and I have asked people who do to not tell me what she is writing. I want to stay as far away as i can get from her poison.
I am so thankful for all my farm girl pals. I feel so much better today. I am just one of those people that want everyone to love everybody. I know that isn't real. But it sound good in a perfect world. :)
Hugs,
Elizabeth
www.athomewithelizabeth.blogspot.com
www.inthekitchenwithelizabeth.blogspot.com
God is good.
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katiedid
True Blue Farmgirl
601 Posts
Kate
West Jordan
Utah
USA
601 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 11:19:56 AM
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Elizabeth, That does sound good in a perfect world, but for this Earth, it won't happen...
Just live your life, love your family and friends, and like Rachel said, let go, and don't invite that negativeness to drain you of energy!
Life is too short to judge others, I wish alot of folks could just pay attention to making their own little corner of the world bettter, and leave others alone!
Sending love
Kate
my new blog http/www.theknifemakerswife.wordpress.com |
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horse
True Blue Farmgirl
371 Posts
laura
pontotoc
mississippi
USA
371 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 11:31:45 AM
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As my grandfather use to say, "those kind of people need to sweep their own doorsteps before they start sweeping mine."
Laura
www.2lmzfarms.blogspot.com |
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beckels
True Blue Farmgirl
237 Posts
becky
warrington
pa
USA
237 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 1:36:04 PM
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my only advice is not to have any communication with her thru internet or swaps...avoid at all cost if you can
I am now going thru a similar situation at work - one of my co-workers is just making everyone life at work difficult. She even went so far to call HR last week and tell them all different lies. I am now just coming in saying good morning to everyone (even her) and only talk about work if asked and nothing else (and per our bosses only give a answer if she asks -bascially avoid her at all costs only offer advice if she asks directly for it and if she has a outburst walk away from her and tell my manager
next week the whole office will get a paper to sign about code of conduct and hopefully she will fade into the background of life
beckels
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ByHzGrace
True Blue Farmgirl
348 Posts
348 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 4:10:40 PM
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I liked what horses' grandfather said.
Puts the advice of an attorney, always have a broom clause in a contract, in a whole different light. 
My Pappy, when mud flinging started, would tell us how St.Francis was disgusted by the lepers. It was only after he kissed a leper that he felt free to love everyone.
... isn't it a funny thing about the internet, here the trait of a bully is to make another agree... or to bully you to become silent.
Couldn't we have a discussion on mean people without belittling the other 
How would this discussion go if I asked:
who is our neighbor
How do I touch an untouchable
how do we inhabit a glass house(blog)
look at all the beauty and not go throwing mud at reflections
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Jana
True Blue Farmgirl
482 Posts
Jana
Eau Claire
Wisconsin
USA
482 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2007 : 9:08:03 PM
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The world is full of mean people. Its a mean world! My dad used to say there are more horses' behinds than there are horses. And I'm inclined to think he was right.
Jana |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Feb 18 2007 : 06:19:14 AM
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Beckels msg made me think of all the office jobs I've had. It seems there was always one person who made it their life's mission to be mean and hateful to me. No matter which job or what town or where I went. There was always one person. I never did figger it out and so basically I stay away from others and being a big rig driver is the best job for me. I even stay out of the company offices and let my hubby deal with them. He goes in the office and I stick around somewhere outside around our truck.
Somehow, on the net it's easier tho cuz I can block mean people. Don't have to even know what they are up to.
Happy Trails :-)
Don't sweat the small stuff... |
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Across the Fence: Mean people |
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Mean people
