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Family Matters:  My Dad passed away this morning  |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 5:08:15 PM
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My Dad died this morning at about ten 'till six o'clock. He has been in the hospital and in and out of the criticial care unit for the last week. And he was 72. He had congestive heart failure. And he was so very sick. He was ready to go.
Last night I fed my baby at 3am and I just had a feeling that my dad was going or gone. Then I had weird dreams and then my husband woke me at 6am and told me they had called and said he was dead. 
Don't mean to be depressing. He lived a good life. He has 9 grandchildren. We loved him very much, he loved us very much. He was a very loving man. Loud, crazy & irritable at times, but he always apologized, always hugged and kissed us. Not perfect, just forgiven as the saying goes. He had a car accident in the 1960's and probably suffered brain injuries from that, but was never treated for them. My mom said that he was never the same after that.
Oh my. What a huge hole. I told my mom it was her fault for marrying someone so wonderful. She should have married someone we didn't like. I feel like I have been grieving him all year long because he went to the nursing home Jan '06. It was not the life for him. My dad was a true Farmboy at heart and loved being outside on the tractor, (on his 5 acres) tinkering in the garage, fixing stuff around the house and just enjoying the nature outside. I went fishing with him so many times as a kid, helped him around the house, worked on cars with him, watched football with him. Wish I had spent more time with him.
I'm struggling with MEGA-guilt of not bringing my 4 kids to see him more often. But, I don't even get them over to see my mom often enough either. I wish I had taken them one more time at least. He did see my 5 month old (the most recent) and it was so funny because my little boy just loved my dad. I guess he just felt all the love.
Well, I'm trying to keep it together. I don't feel completely down because like I said I really deeply grieved when my dad had to go to the nursing home. I guess it was God's way of preparing me for the real thing.
I just am so thankful I had an earthly father who taught me so much, loved me so much and was such a character. He was always generous and helpful to people. If he saw people on the side of the road with car trouble he was always good to stop and help. He had a knack of saying just the right thing whenever your heart was aching over some trouble. He was so tender hearted.
Give all your fathers and husbands bear hugs and tell them how much you love them. Life is SO temporary.
In Him,
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·.
Wife of Jonathan, Mother of Joel, Caitlyn, Elia, Nathanael |
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jo Thompson
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jo
the mountainside of the Chugach
in Alaska
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 5:23:13 PM
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Rebecca, I lost so much of my family by the time I reached 21, my mother, my father, my step-father. You ARE a lucky human being, you loved your dad, he's a part of you, in your laugh, your life, your children, he's still here in so many ways. No regrets, I say you should have no regrets............. life is tough enough for any human being. Wonder where you got your tender heart?? Here are tender thoughts for Rebecca, jo
north to alaska..... |
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Marybeth
True Blue Farmgirl
6418 Posts
Mary Beth
Stanwood
Wa 98292
USA
6418 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 5:41:17 PM
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My heart goes out to you, Rebecca. He will be remembered because he was loved. Good thoughts you way. MB
www.strawberryhillsfarm.blogspot.com
"Life may not be the party we hoped for...but while we are here we might as well dance!" |
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lamamama
True Blue Farmgirl
255 Posts
Melanie
CA
USA
255 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 5:58:23 PM
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Oh, Rebecca, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. What a wonderful tribute you have written to him! It brought tears to my eyes to read it.
I hope that you will find a measure of comfort in your many good memories, & that your passage through the hardest part of grieving will be swift. Hold that baby extra tight - it will be a great balm for your soul.
Melanie |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 6:00:18 PM
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Rebecca,
I know the feelings very well.
Even though it can be somewhat expected, doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt. Hang onto the precious memories, write them down, create a memory book when you feel up to it. But do cherish those precious memories.
Farmgirl hugs to you.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ |
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Aunt George
True Blue Farmgirl
1476 Posts
Georgann
Midlothian
VA
1476 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 6:09:19 PM
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Rebecca,
My heart goes out to you dear. It is so hard losing a parent. Him being in the nursing home doesn't make the pain any less both in missing him, regret and in guilt. Don't let it eat you up. Just know that he loved you very much and remember those wonderful times you spent with him throughout your lifetime. Those sweet memories will sustain you through your loss.
Hug your children, call your mom and live each day as if it was your last. You are in my thoughts and my prayers.
http://auntgeorgeshouse.blogspot.com/
Thanks for checking out my apron musings! |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 6:11:16 PM
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Rebecca, Im so very sorry, I know how hard it is. You & your family are in our prayers.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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LadyCrystal
True Blue Farmgirl
593 Posts
Alicia
Rhode Island
USA
593 Posts |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 6:35:10 PM
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Thank you all so much. Your comments are very good medicine. I will try to post some pics of him. You all would have loved my dad. He loved animals and people. He was a big-hearted guy. He's why I'm a Farmgirl at heart.
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·.
Wife of Jonathan, Mother of Joel, Caitlyn, Elia, Nathanael |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 6:41:08 PM
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Rebecca- I am so sorry about your dad. It seems that he has left a wonderful legacy for his children and grandchildren. You will be in my prayers.
Karin |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 6:55:52 PM
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Oh Rebecca..I wish I knew what to say.. I am so sorry. I remember how hard it was to lose my dad two and 1/2 years ago. Your dad sounds like he was a wonderful guy. Writing down my thoughts to read later really helped me.
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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cindi
Farmgirl in Training
39 Posts
cindi
sedalia
mo
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 7:01:43 PM
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| i'm so sorry for your lose. Yes, it will hurt and you will feel like a little piece is missing. Time will heal it. Be patient with your self. Hug your little ones a little tighterand remembering your Dad. We will hold you in our hearts and thoughts. |
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bramble
True Blue Farmgirl
2044 Posts
2044 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 8:13:46 PM
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Rebecca- So sorry for you and your family's loss. Losing a parent is very hard no matter what age we are and you have expressed feelings I'm sure most of us have felt in the same situation. My Dad said something to me near the end of his life that helped me know he knew I was doing the best I could and it helped me so much. Find comfort in the fact that you and he were both clear about love for each other and that is all that really matters. Though not still beside you, he will always be with you. Find peace, love and comfort with those you love and hold dear. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
with a happy heart |
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berries
True Blue Farmgirl
475 Posts
gloria g
Florida
USA
475 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 8:19:26 PM
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Rebecca - I too know your pain. My father passed away 1/1/97 - 10 years today. Your story sounds oh so familiar. But they are in a better place, and we will never forget. I think of him every day, and find peace knowing I will see him again one day. I will have you and your family in my thoughts and prayers, as I reflect on my precious father. I miss him every day, but always enjoy the good thoughts. While my sons were here for Christmas, we listened to tapes that he had made with my sons. Singing and saying bible versus, and the alphabet. It was a very happy memory! You have all your farmgirls here for you.
heartfelt prayers and thoughts are coming your way, gloria g. Richards, TX
P.S. I have a little garden in the woods with a table and seats. I go there to pray and think on all the good things in my life. Maybe you can have a place for you at your home. And plant a tree for him.
strawberry fields forever and ever!
www.strawberryhousequilting.com |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 8:26:22 PM
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Oh Rebecca what a blessing your Dad was to you! Thanks so much for sharing your memories with us. He sounds wonderful. Don't waste time on regrets...I'm sure your Dad knew and felt loved. All those sweet times you describe...you were a blessing to him too! ((hugs)) and prayers of peace & comfort to you Rebecca.
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
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katie-ell
True Blue Farmgirl
1818 Posts
Katie
Illinois
1818 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 9:36:39 PM
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| My deepest sympathies on the loss of your dear father. Your time of grieving will continue to be so bittersweet, remembering his life and feeling his absence. The depth of your love for him is reflected in the depth of your sorrow. God bless you. |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 9:41:02 PM
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Oh, Rebecca! I was so touched to read what you wrote about your father. What a wonderful man he was, to love and be loved that way. I'm sending wishes of comfort and (((HUGS))). Please know that we are all keeping you close...
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
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lamarguerite farm
True Blue Farmgirl
649 Posts
missy
Battle Ground
Wa
USA
649 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 9:56:27 PM
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Rebecca- My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray that you can find peace knowing the joy and freedom from pain that he is experiencing at this very moment.
Blessings,
Missy
If you have a dream, even if you don't feel qualified to accomplish it, just try your hardest.-Maggie Jensen
http://18happyhens.blogspot.com
http://LamargueriteFarm.etsy.com |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Jan 01 2007 : 10:36:10 PM
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prayers and hugs to you darlin. xoxo
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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Beemoosie
True Blue Farmgirl
2077 Posts
Bonnie
New York
USA
2077 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 02:44:37 AM
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Rebecca, I am so sorry for your loss. (((hugs))) No matter how prepared we think we are, we are not. That is natural, so don't think you have to "keep it together". Crying and Letting it go are all apart of healing. I agree with all these wonderful women, hold on to the good, write it down, create a place for yourself, pray a LOT. You and your family will be in my prayers.
XO
Bonnie
O, Come let us adore HIM! www.beequilting.blogspot.com |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 05:20:20 AM
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Rebecca - it was a huge gift that you got to know your father as a man and an adult and a father all in one. My dad died when I was 19, and I wish so much he could have seen my daughter and my grandbabies, and that they could have know him. I wish that I could have known him more as I grew older.
I am glad for you that your dad knew your kids and got to see you be a mom. I am sorry for your loss. Praying for you all.
Jeannie
Ephesians 1:17 |
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vintagegrl
True Blue Farmgirl
280 Posts
Jeanette
NH
USA
280 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 05:38:54 AM
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Rebecca,
I sign up a while ago but never posted, just lurked. But when I read you post today, I cried. How lucky you are that you had such a wonderful father!! Your father gave you such a gift in being a great dad, and you pass on that legacy to your children, as I'm sure they will continue the legacy by being terrific parents to their children. In my opinion that's the best gift that really keeps on giving, and one is fortunate to say, " A big part of who I am is because of my parents..." Your father will never be forgotten because of that...
How lucky I am that my father is still with us and in relatively good health. I am going to visit my parents today and I will tell them how much I appreciate them.
Thank you for your wonderful words, I will pray for your father and for you to have the strength to go on in the days to come.
J |
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mommom
True Blue Farmgirl
854 Posts
Susan
Lancaster
Pennsylvania
USA
854 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 05:55:35 AM
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| Memories are wonderful and no one can take them away from you. Keep him alive for your children and they will have wonderful memories also. I'm so glad your dad was able to instill in you your tender heart.....it made me cry. God bless you and your family. With love, Susan |
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junebug
True Blue Farmgirl
2421 Posts
Sue
West Plains,
Mo.
USA
2421 Posts |
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Phils Ann
True Blue Farmgirl
1095 Posts
Ann
Parsonsburg
Maryland
USA
1095 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 08:23:34 AM
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Rebecca, my heartfelt sympathy goes out to you. You're in my prayers.
Ann
There is a Redeemer. |
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Horseyrider
True Blue Farmgirl
1045 Posts
Mary Ann
Illinois
1045 Posts |
Posted - Jan 02 2007 : 10:01:35 AM
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I was told last night that my father has a tumor on his kidney. He has a lot of other health problems; he's 79. I'll probably be in your position before I know it.
You have my heartfelt sympathy. My mom crossed over ten years ago this April, and barely a day goes by where I don't think of her and her many blessings on my life. It's so hard to lose a parent! There we are, adults; and we feel like orphans.
I have a peaceful heart because I know where she went. I also feel some sadness that she never knew my grandsons, and I didn't spend the time with her I should have. But look at your own children and what you expect of them. Do you expect of them the same things you expect now of yourself? You appreciated him and loved him, and grew up to make him proud. I have a strong feeling that this was enough to make him very happy.
(((((HUGS))))) |
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Family Matters: My Dad passed away this morning |
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My Dad passed away this morning
