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Family Matters:  Anyone live with an inlaw?? HELP!  |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
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Hideaway Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1553 Posts
Jo
Virginia
USA
1553 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 09 2007 : 09:03:46 AM
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Hey farmgirls, maybe we could take up a collection and hire a gigolo for Diane's MIL? Someone older, suave and willing to do her bidding --- then again, maybe all of us put together couldn't raise THAT much money!
Nance in France; whaddyamean hit-man? Surely, some of us FarmGirls are well enough qualified enough plan, coordinate?
I worked with a lady years ago who thought there should be regular cruises set up on leaky boats; you buy your favorite person a ticket to ride, and send them off! Funny, but sad, too.
Keep on venting here Diane, at least it gives the rest of us something to think about and hopefully, our silly responses help lift the cloud for you a bit.
I truly love the gifting ideas mentioned; where you only give her things that YOU or your other family members want. You could even start giving her groceries; wrap up a bag of flour, etc. At least she might find it useful; if not, you can always BAKE COOKIES!
Jo
"There are no strangers here, only friends you've yet to meet." |
Edited by - Hideaway Farmgirl on Jan 09 2007 09:04:53 AM |
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hollyhock81
True Blue Farmgirl
125 Posts
FARAH
IN
USA
125 Posts |
Posted - Jan 11 2007 : 7:49:38 PM
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I feel for you,I recommend a book called toxic in laws.They sell it at amazon.
There are many tips you can apply to your own life.In laws can be so tough. |
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_Rebecca_
True Blue Farmgirl
568 Posts
Rebecca
OK
USA
568 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2007 : 06:35:05 AM
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If I am perfectly honest, your MIL will keep doing this because its something she is compelled to do. She can't help it. Even if you get her her own pet you won't be able to keep her from feeding yours too.
It won't matter if you set any limits with her, she is a bit deranged. (she will lie to cover it up, she does it in front of you, etc.). Your mother in law has poor reasoning skills. Like less than that of a child. I know, I have the same MIL. She won't stop. She can't stop.
To keep the peace, you are going to have to kennel your pets where she cannot get to them. Or you have to be away from her. Obviously she enjoys animals. Embrace her personality, accept the things you cannot change, etc. What you aren't getting is that there isn't any logic going on with her. It wouldn't matter if your cat died from it or your dog gets deathly ill.
Sorry to be such a negative person about this, but it's just the way your MIL is and she won't change. Does she have social activities to keep her busy? Sounds like she needs them.
Good luck, hth,
Rebecca
.·:*¨¨* :·.Rebecca.·:*¨¨* :·.
Wife of Jonathan, Mother of Joel, Caitlyn, Elia, Nathanael |
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bramble
True Blue Farmgirl
2044 Posts
2044 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2007 : 08:12:14 AM
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Diane- I have been thinking about you and this situation for a little bit now. I thought my MIL was difficult, not compared to yours! Here are a few new thoughts... How about turning her loose at the animal shelter? TO VOLUNTEER...naughty girls what did you think I meant?!!!) Maybe a Pet Rescue group would let her get involved and she will be distracted ( and maybe have some enjoyment)?
I have a mother in law who is so self absorbed she never asks how anyone is or listens if they try to tell her. She always complains about how no one includes her in things but it is just hard when you know the entire day and conversation will be about her and what she wants to spend her money on (rarely her children and almost never grandchildren). But what bothers me the most is that she does not make any effort to spend time with her grandchildren although this was the woman who said she was "born to be a grandmother". What she didn't tell us was those grandchildren needed to be babies and girls at that! (She has All boy grands and we never hear the end about how everyone else has girl grandchildren).She is also never interested in you, but what you can do FOR her. Sorry to vent ( can you tell I've recently had an "encounter" myself? Anyway... I try to deal with MIL honestly and directly, which is why I am frequently out of favor with her but it never seems to last long. If your MIL were mine I would say " I am very sorry that you are unhappy living here. We have tried to include you in our happy home but we have reached the point it seems there is just no pleasing you. Would you like to share with us what we have offered or would you prefer to live elsewhere because you are disrupting our home and making everyone as unhapy as you are." Not easy , but I think necessary for your peace of mind. Are there no siblings or siblings of her own she could "visit"? Maybe if she went away, she would understand what she took for granted.
We have a friend who is not a gracious gift receiver and I was becoming resentful about giving her anything. It would always end up at our community yardsale for some pittance when I had spent good money a few months before. So, we countered by making a donation last year to Heifer International in her name and handing it to her saying "Since you never seem to like what we have given you, we have donated in your name to an organization that spends it's time making the world a better place". She looked shocked, upset, angry and then started to cry. I thought Oh boy now we've done it! But she stared to tell us about all this going on we had no idea about and how she just felt overwhelmed and guilty about people giving her things when her situation was so bad. Not logical, but the point being that's how she FELT whether it was logical or not! Maybe your MIL's bizarre and rude behavior is a mixture of grief, anger and depression? Not logical, but maybe that's how SHE feels for reasons she might not understand herself. Would she see a counselor? Could you strap her to the hood and take her to one?!!! Keep venting , maybe one of us will have the answer or you can atleast get it off your chest!
with a happy heart |
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Family Matters: Anyone live with an inlaw?? HELP! |
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Anyone live with an inlaw?? HELP!
