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Across the Fence:  To Tip or Not To Tip - there's a question  |
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asnedecor
True Blue Farmgirl
1054 Posts
Anne
Portland
Or
USA
1054 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 7:31:59 PM
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I guess I am on my soapbox again - first it was the please, thank you and welcome vent and now it is the tipping.
DH and I have had this conversation many times - do you tip the person behind the counter for your coffee, fast food or take out? We don't.
I worked in both fast food and as a waitress from high school through college and know the difference between earning a tip and just plain "begging" for money.
When did it become okay to have a tip charge by the cash register with so called cute sayings such as "fear of change, leave it here".
I feel if I have to go up to the counter, place my order, pay for it, pick it up when it is ready and then bus my own table, I should not have to give a tip. Same for the drive thru at the coffee place, the person helping me reaches around, barely 2' from where they are standing, grabs a muffin, grabs my coffee and takes my money.
I do tip well for the waitress/waiter that takes my order from my table, brings me my food, fills my coffee, water, etc. Asks if things are okay, if I would like something else, etc and then picks up my money and brings me back the change. Now they have earned my tip.
Just a bit of food for thought.
Anne in Portland
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 7:43:19 PM
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Hi Anne,
Nope, no tip if I do all the work myself. I really hate "tip jars" on the counter at places that serve ice cream, coffee etc.
Waiting tables is a different story. Anyone who's done it, knows what hard work it is! I always tip at least 20%, more for great service.
I remember going out with relatives (husband's side of course! LOL) once "that didn't believe in tipping". Our poor waitress served two families, with 5 small children between us! I made sure to place MY tip into her hand, tell her what a great job she did AND suggested to the relatives that they should eat at home! The tip IS part of the expence of eating in a resturant IMHO. It's just obnoxious not to tip a good server. What's next, dine & dash?
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
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cmandle
True Blue Farmgirl
846 Posts
Catherine
Minneapolis
MN
846 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 7:53:02 PM
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I don't tip at coffeehouses, always feel guilty about it, but never do. Same reasons you list above. I am consistent in my non-tipping at the coffee counter though, so at least there's that.
Catherine :)
http://yogurtandgranola.blogspot.com |
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lilpunkin
True Blue Farmgirl
368 Posts
Texas
USA
368 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 8:08:09 PM
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I tip at resturants where there is an actual waitress/waiter. I ordered pizza the other day. Which in our small town you have to go pick it up, no delivery(To far away). So I go to pick it and and the lady hands me a receipt, she says you need to total this up. Im thinking it's to make sure it is right. Well when I look at the bottom there is a place for a tip. Im like no way! I drove here, which isn't a short drive, used my car, my gas, I walked in here and your wanting a tip! Heres a tip, Dont wear socks in the rain! LOL! I couldn't believe it.
Lilpunkin |
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~Tracey~
True Blue Farmgirl
351 Posts
Tracey
TN
USA
351 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 8:29:13 PM
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I am in agreement with the "if I have to do the work, I don't tip". I don't feel guilty about it either.
Tracey,
mama to Callum 13, Katie 8, Wil 5.5, Benjamin 3 and Andrew 7 months!!
http://hansenhootenanny.blogspot.com/ |
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GaiasRose
True Blue Farmgirl
2552 Posts
Tasha-Rose
St. Paul
Minnesota
2552 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 8:35:54 PM
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Having been a coffee barista in college, I DO tip at coffee houses, but other places I do not-sans for eating out and even then, they have to EARN my tip-otherwise I don't tip well. Treat me well, I tip you well....
The reason I DO tip at coffee houses is because, especially if they are making the drink and not just pouring coffee, it is essentially like going to a bar and tipping your bartender (did that job, too, and in high heels and plether pants....but that's another life and story entirely ;) )
ETA: Take out, if we got take out, we would tip if the take out was delivered, but not if we went to pick it up. The delivery people aren't paid for their fuel and as such, especially in states where food service wage is BELOW minimum wage, what they make in the night with just their wage ONLY pays for their fuel.
~*~Brightest Blessings~*~
Tasha-Rose
blogs: http://gaiarose.wordpress.com
http://frugalwitch.wordpress.com |
Edited by - GaiasRose on Nov 09 2006 8:37:45 PM |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2006 : 10:59:10 PM
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I was a waitress for years..and ALWAYS tip waitresses...at the very least 15% but usually more. (well, unless they are downright rude) I don't tip at fast food places or drive thru at all....or counter service. I do tip pizza delivery on the rare occasion we have that..but then I know all the delivery kids at our local place and like them too.
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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Bridge
True Blue Farmgirl
814 Posts
Bridgette
Southern
Indiana
USA
814 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 05:26:45 AM
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quote:
I am in agreement with the "if I have to do the work, I don't tip". I don't feel guilty about it either
That's me 
I did learn from my niece who works at applebees that is good to tip for the car side to go. Because they have to do as much or more to get those orders ready (putting it all in togo containers, sometimes labeling the boxes and such) and usually the are also working tables, so it makes it even more of a hustle. She also said that alot of the Carside orders don't get tips. Which I understood, because before she explained I would have probably not tipped.
But my niece and I both agreed that if you just called in a sandwich or such and picked it up carside, that really wouldn't need tipped. It would be similar to mc'ds
~~Bridge's Boutique~~
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BlueApple
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Julia
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 06:04:28 AM
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I don't tip for fast food because that just isn't the climate, but I do tip at restaurants and my favorite coffee cart/drive thru. Why? Because they are very nice young ladies/men who I doubt get paid very much..they are friendly, chatty and know what my favorite drink is. I figure if I can blow a couple of dollars on a chai then I can afford to put a little in their tip jar. They are still providing a service and "making it" for you. I'm a child care provider so I guess I'm sensitive to those that have jobs where they work hard but don't get paid a lot.
Julia
BlueApple Farm |
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asnedecor
True Blue Farmgirl
1054 Posts
Anne
Portland
Or
USA
1054 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 07:01:51 AM
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I guess this discussion started with DH going down to the local coffee shop. He walked down there, went up to the counter - was greeted by a friendly girl. He ordered his coffee - which by the way she did not make, someone else did - then when he preceded to pay with cash, he had exact change - no more. He said as soon as the counter girl saw there was no tip involved her whole attitude changed - no thank you, no have a nice day, etc. All she did was take an order, take his money and hand him his coffee. We both feel there is no reason for a tip for that. I do have to say that if we get a little extra from the barista, she gives you an extra shot or makes the coffee extra special and she is running the whole show -which we have been in little coffee places where one person does everything and with a smile - then we do give a tip - but those are rare. It is just the attitude as of late that tips are expected for very little service that bugs us.
Anne
"Weeds are flowers too, once you get to know them" Eyeore from Winnie the Pooh
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willowtreecreek
True Blue Farmgirl
4813 Posts
Julie
Russell
AR
USA
4813 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 08:18:32 AM
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If the service is good and the service person was friendly I usually try to tip. I don't put money into tip jars because who knows who gets it. Whether it is a coffee house or fast food doesn't matter to me. If I feel the person has done a good job I'll slip them a dollar or two. Everyone deserves a pat on the back and just because they work behind the drivethru at McDonalds doesn't mean they aren't deserving of a tip every once in a while. Do I do it EVERY time? NO. But certain occassions allot themselves to it. I have been blessed in my life to have an extra dollar here and there. I don't see any reason why I shouldnt pass that along if I can.
Jewelry, art, baskets, etc.
www.willowtreecreek.com |
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Carolinagirl
True Blue Farmgirl
486 Posts
Kim
Rutherfordton
NC
USA
486 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 09:44:28 AM
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I used to waitress too, so I pay attention to good tipping. I do NOT always leave a tip, no matter the service. If the service is crappy, I leave absolutely nothing. As a waitress, I learned real quick that I needed to be a good server in order to earn my tip- I didn't deserve just because I existed as a waitress. If the server acts like they deserve the tip without the good service, they don't get it from me.
I tip the delivery guy, if he brings the food to my house.
I was at Sonic a couple of months ago. Our Sonic has a drive through window- so I wasn't at the part where you pull up and a carhop brings the food to the car. Anyway, when the girl took my money at the window she complained how no one tips anymore, and that she expected to get tips working the drive through window the same as she would if she was working as a carhop. That just ticked me off! People expect the tipping now- there's no earning the tipping. I don't think servers should have to grovel before me- but part of getting the tip is giving good service, and I think that has been forgotten.
On the bonus side, my local grocery store, which is a chain here in NC, has signs posted that they are glad to take your groceries to the car and no tip is expected. Isn't that nice?
Kim in NC |
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Carolinagirl
True Blue Farmgirl
486 Posts
Kim
Rutherfordton
NC
USA
486 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2006 : 09:47:12 AM
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Oh- and I forgot to post to the please and thank you post, but I ALWAYS say it, even and especially to someone who is not so polite. Sometimes I think maybe they're just having a bad day, or sometimes I think it may make a difference in showing my kids that it's just plain right to be polite to people.
When I am out of the South, people look at me funny for saying please, thank you, yes or no ma'am or sir. But it's just how it is here- you say it to the drive thru people as well as the little old people you meet. |
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Horseyrider
True Blue Farmgirl
1045 Posts
Mary Ann
Illinois
1045 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2006 : 04:35:34 AM
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I don't tip at fast food places. I used to work at one years ago, and accepting tips is forbidden. But I do say thankyou if the person if fast and friendly.
The guideline for me is what the acronym TIPS stands for: To Insure Prompt Service. If my service was prompt and friendly, then yes I tip. I start at 20% and increase from there if it's really good. I feel excellence should be rewarded, regardless of where we find it.
I think it's important for customers to remember that waitstaff are human beings too. When my waitress comes along and refreshes my coffee, I say smile and say thankyou. When she clears my dishes, I say thankyou. I don't care if it's a four star restaurant with a Hispanic bus boy that doesn't even speak English yet, or a beehive headed lady at a greasy spoon--- courtesy and respect is part of MY responsibility toward them. And yes, it does get you better service. |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2006 : 06:10:46 AM
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Im am good tipper. My husband & I always argue about how much but when you've done the work & know how hard it can be, your more apt to be a good tipper. I tip a little at coffee bars & if the service is bad its a very low tip. Bad service annoys me terribly because they know how good service should be & what it means for them when done right. Im easy, so if they give bad service & a bad additude then Im annoyed. I always also say please, thank you & have a nice day. Im never rude even when they are. To me, the service business is a great excuse to show hospitality & graciousness to people. If anyone ever saw the movie, Maid in Manhattan, the concierge (??) tells the maid (played by Jennifer Lopez) serving customers doesn't mean your their servant, it's a talent & gift & everyone doesn't have it. I agree w/ that 100%. It's the idiots who think you owe them & the idiots who think it's just a job that make it bad.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2006 : 06:56:51 AM
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I earned my way through school as a waitress at a fancy-schmantzy restaurant, so I well know the value of tips and the difference they make in a serving person's quality of life. I also know that my hourly wage that my employer paid was much, much less than the minimum wage, and if we weren't busy, we didn't make much, the tips meant whether or not we could pay our bills.
And now I wear OPI nail polish on my toenails my favorite color is "I'm not really a waitress" because I was so fond of saying that when I was 20. Waiters and waitresses work really hard and aren't always appreciated.
That being said, I don't tip at coffe shops or fast food places where the person who is waiting on me stands in one place and I have to carry my own tray, etc. I assume, rightly or wrongly, that those places pay minimum wage. Minimum wage isn't much but you don't have to work for a place where all you earn is minimum wage if you study and work hard to better yourself.
I tip less (maybe 5-10%) at a buffet restaurant where I carry my own tray, pick out my own food, but the serving person comes around and fills up my coffee cup and brings rolls. A little service, a little money. I pay more than 15% at a fancy restaurant where I am treated like royalty and the serving person has special knowledge/skills such as recommending a wine or knowledge of how the food is prepared, willing to do a special order, etc.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2006 : 08:14:45 AM
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When it comes to food service and wait staff, I'll always tip big. You couldn't pay me enough to deal w/ this kind of pressure.
As far at tip jars go....I generally avoid these too, with two exceptions...a friend of ours recently opened a pottery/coffee shop. Even though he is a friend and gives us a discount anyway, I do appreciate the service and know the kind of debt he went into to get this shop off the ground. The other establishment is Moe's Southwest Grille. It's not necessairly the wait staff, but rather the great food and really fun atmosphere. |
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2006 : 08:38:25 AM
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We tip wait staff, I tip my massage therapist if I can and we are "required" to tip baggers at the commisary -- because that's thier only income (but they don't get a good tip if they don't bag it well/the way I want it and have a good attitude)otherwise no.
I don't mind clearing my own table at smaller restaurants as that's what you do in Europe but if it's really nice than no way.
I used to work as a waitress and worked hard for my tips.
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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lilpunkin
True Blue Farmgirl
368 Posts
Texas
USA
368 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2006 : 7:15:24 PM
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I will for sure tip at a sit down restaurant. If the waiter/waitress is good, I believe in giving them more. My 5 year old son and I went and ate at this restaurant the other day just the two of us. Its somewhere our family always goes to eat, and we always have good service. But this one day that my son and I went we have awful service. Needless to day he didnt get a very big tip.
We also have a Mennonite bakery in town, and they have a cup for tips, I always give them a tip because they work so hard and bake all of that stuff from scratch. So i guess it really depends on where you go and what kind of service you get.
lilpunkin |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
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bohemiangel
True Blue Farmgirl
2087 Posts
Bridget
Ligonier
pa
USA
2087 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2006 : 5:22:47 PM
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OH my this is actually a topic that I spoke about in my Dale Carnegie class several years ago. I worked as a waitress. It was an odd set up the "Family food takeout" and 7 tables and a couch/chairs out on the porch. I did get tips for the takeout because the lady that had worked there years did that and the tip thing was out when I first started. Let me say I Truly appreciated the tips and never changed my attitude if none was placed! It was their choice. I ALWAYS made good tips waiting on the tables. I tend to be social and care and always made sure everyone liked everything and had everything imagineable. I always tips at restaurants at least 20% if we know them, more or they were extra special. I always used thank yous no matter. I did have some rude ones and I had a guy that was way out of line and I showed him that I was a PERSON 1st then a waitress second and he eventually go the idea! If the waitress is not good then they get maybe 1 buck or less. This one guy didnt fill drinks, ask how we were, he forgot stuff left and right, and just had the i don't care what i'm doing at this job attitude. I left NOTHING or maybe a few cents. I used to tip at the coffee houses then I got poor;) ok not poor just frugal with tighter money issues. The coffee house I frequent the tip jar is for everyone and some don't treat you well at all so phooey on that. I certainly don't tip at fast food joints...and rarely frequent them. If it's a ma and pa business and they brought the food but you clean up I leave a buck or 2 depending on how many people. But you placed your order so I feel like I did some work in it too. I also clean up after myself WHEREVER I am. I used to hate bussing my own tables so I know how it is. I can't stand big families that allow their kid to make an unreasonable mess or worse ADULTS! I do stand by the 20% rule IF the service was great and you can afford it...I always knew people didn't know or didn't have the money. I also think everyone at some point in their life should wait tables. It gives a greater understanding for the job! I have my family and bf trained for leaving a good tip. The grandparents are a little less but more than they used to if they can afford it. Oh my I think I typed way too much here. SORRY! :-o......................stepping down from her soapbox now!
"... to thine ownself be true." |
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La Patite Ferme
True Blue Farmgirl
623 Posts
Jenn
CA
USA
623 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2006 : 9:15:07 PM
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Anne,
You hit on a pet peeve of mine and a subject my sister and I have (again) been talking about. I personally think the whole tipping thing has gotten way out of hand and just another example of how conditioned consumers have become to throwing money away unneccessarily.
This morning my sis, daughter and I went to brunch and the guy making omelettes had a tip jar brimming with dollar bills. I personally find it offensive to have these jars shoved in my face everytime I turn around - the ice cream parlor, Starbucks, pizza places, even the vendors at our local farmers market have tip jars for selling drinks. I'm especially tired of tipping people who make more than I do for just doing their job ie: hair salons, day spas, and manicurists. If they want to make more than charge more. Don't just expect a tip to make up the difference.
At the rate we are going, soon we'll be tipping the TV repair guy, the plumber, the car repair person OR we'll tip cashiers at stores. Where/when does it stop?
For me it stopped when I got divorced, 4 years ago. It was hard enough making ends meet without having to figure in a tip everywhere I went. So, unless you work at a sit down resturant and wait on me hand and foot you don't get a tip. Not even the lady who has been doing my hair for 20 years.
And as for resturants, I don't adhear to the 15% anymore because service has become so bad most of the time they don't deserve it. Case in point - my dad and I had dinner a few weeks ago and we asked the server for a bread basket 3 times (never got it), our entree arrived before our salad (she said she didn't know our salad hadn't been served) had to remind her twice. The whole time we were there she was talking with freinds not 10 feet away. This is a neighborhood resturant and we know the guy who is sorta the manager so when he came to our table to ask how were where I told him what had happened. She finally came over to see how we were and if we needed anything, but never brought what we asked for. We did however get a free dessert - because they didn't have my favorite special on the menu, which had nothing to do with anything. Obviously that wasn't the source of my dissatisfaction.
When my dad got the bill he asked what he should tip - NOT A DAMN THING!!! She was still talking to her friends.
Funny little example of how conditioned consumers have become - 4-H kids at our county fair hung a tip jar on their sheep pens and every day there was money in it.
Thanks for letting me rant.
P.S. should I put a tip jar at my desk? I work for a non-profit. :)
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ArmyWifey
True Blue Farmgirl
712 Posts
Holly
Abilene
KS
712 Posts |
Posted - Nov 12 2006 : 9:35:13 PM
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Actually yes you don't leave tips in Europe as it's already added into the bill. Or if not, they cash you out at the table and you hand them the tip when you pay. At least in Germany. In France we didn't leave a tip either - it was not expected. We've been other places in Europe but not for sit down dinners that I can remember.
However! You do have to "tip" to use the restrooms in Germany...actually this is the attendants pay and we always left a little extra for the wonderfully clean bathrooms everywhere! Italy did not have attendants at least not at the train station we were at.
Just small things you pick up living elsewhere.
Holly
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!
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Horseyrider
True Blue Farmgirl
1045 Posts
Mary Ann
Illinois
1045 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2006 : 04:37:17 AM
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Jennifer, I do believe people need to earn it. But when they go that extra mile, they deserve a big tip! I don't just tip my hairdresser and waitstaff, I also tip my farrier every Christmas, because he's absolutely the most reliable and skilled guy out there, and when his book gets too full and he starts trimming, I want to still stay on his list. I tip my hay guys at Christmas too, because they set aside some of the choicest growing area for "my" hay, and cut it precisely how I like it, deliver it and stack it for me. And that's HARD work; but I can always count on these guys. I also put in a check at Christmas for my feed store guys. They take a lot of special orders for me, they make me feel like I'm the most important person in the world to them, they deliver my grain, empty it from the bags into my bins, rotate my stock for me, and stack my shavings in my barn; and I don't even have to be home. They understand SERVICE, and I'm willing to reward that service because it's outstanding.
I don't tip my vet or my animal chiro, but I do send them Christmas cards every year and tell them how much I really appreciate their skill and service, and how they always come running when I call, and how well their staff attends to my needs. They really are the BEST.
See how I'm so fortunate to be surrounded by some of the best support a person could wish for? It's because I'm proactive about letting them know about their excellence. We teach people how to treat us every day, with every interaction. I prefer to be treated well.  |
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Leezard
True Blue Farmgirl
950 Posts
Elizabeth
Novi
MI
USA
950 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2006 : 05:44:39 AM
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I usually tip well over at a sit down restaurant when the service is good, if it's bad I tend to keep it right at the 10%. I also do tip at the local pizza place with their tip jar when one of the people I go to church with works there. I know his family could use the extra money so I don't have a problem giving a little more to help them out.
quote:
Originally posted by brightmeadow
In some places in Europe I understand that it is insulting to the waiter to leave a tip. Anybody know if that is true or not?
As Holly said, that's generally true for Europe. If you're planning a trip there and you get a good guide book it will should tell you what the accepted practice is for where you're going. I went to Rome two years ago and that's how I found out that you don't tip there. If you want to you could round up your bill to the next euro and that'd be acceptable.
http://ruby--slippers.blogspot.com/ |
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abbasgurl
True Blue Farmgirl
1262 Posts
Rhonda
USA
1262 Posts |
Posted - Nov 13 2006 : 08:51:05 AM
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OK, Mary Ann mentioned Hairdressers. I have been told it is inappropriate to tip the owner of a shop. Anyone know the etiquette on this? I'd love to hear from someone in the business.
I really like what Mary Ann had to say too!
"We teach people how to treat us every day, with every interaction." Too true!
Rhonda
I'm a one girl revolution. |
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Across the Fence: To Tip or Not To Tip - there's a question |
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To Tip or Not To Tip - there's a question
