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Family Matters:  The (figurative) well is dry and closing up!  |
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RachelLeigh
True Blue Farmgirl
635 Posts
Rachel
Rainier
WA
USA
635 Posts |
 Posted - May 21 2014 : 8:00:53 PM
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I'm looking for some advice or inspiration or sage words or a simple prayer or... something....
I work full-time (usually around 50 hours a week) for a certain online retailer. I'm also on the night shift and in a leadership position, which means that I'm going constantly and my mind is always spinning. I am also currently supporting the family because my husband is looking for a job. While we're seriously blessed to easily function on my salary, I'm at the point in my life where I'm completely out of steam. Like, the the point where, when I get home, my husband will ask me a simple question and I'll just stare at him because I cannot compute. My friendships have almost disappeared because I don't have time. I never see my family because I don't have time. My faith is hanging by a thread because my schedule isn't conducive to church-going. I've drawn inward, have given up most of my hobbies, and can't get enough sleep. As a result, my free time, what little of it that there is, is spent at the gym or with my nose glued to my Kindle.
My question is this - for those of you that have demanding careers and families - HOW do you cope? What are your secrets? How do you keep going? I'm losing it, am very depressed, and I just don't feel like I'm even really living anymore - I'm just functioning. I miss the old me and I don't know how to get back to her again.
Farmgirl Sister #5159
My blog: http://14thandoak.com
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - May 21 2014 : 8:16:11 PM
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When I'm feeling so numb that I can't feel anything, I'll turn off all the lights, and light a candle and just be silent for awhile. Then I'll pray. Sometimes I'll end up crying, sometimes singing. I don't get the answer I'm looking for (maybe it can't be found) but I come away feeling more peaceful and in touch with myself. I've found, when you get to the bottom of the well, if you dig just a little deeper, you'll find an endless spring. And you can drink of it and be prepared to face another day. It gets difficult at times. But it helps to light a single candle.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2014 : 3:19:12 PM
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Like Cindy, I pray. When I get to the bottom of the well, as Cindy mentioned, I feel relief because I know there is only one way out, up. I start climbing up slowly, praying.
Good luck to you. You'll be in my prayers. Keep us posted.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - May 22 2014 : 5:29:02 PM
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I give gratitude daily that I have a job that supports my family. I light candles and burn incense daily and give thanks to Netjer (my gods) for what I have been blessed with. I am trying to look at my life and see what lessons I need to learn from my current situation that will allow me to move forward. I do short meditations at lunch time or whenever I have a few minutes. Before I started working at home (things were super stressful at the office) I started eating my lunch in my car and listening to some meditations while I ate, and that helped TONS, most days I felt very renewed when I went back in from lunch. Taking warm baths with Himalyian salt is also superbly relaxing and rejuvenating. I do little rituals to deepen my connection to myself, the universe and Netjer. Things have finally worked out so that I can work from home, which has shaved off 2 hours from my work day (commuting). I still feel pressed for time to do things that I enjoy, though, and am still getting through the physical effects of a high stress job. My job is not physically demanding but is very much demanding mentally and emotionally which takes a ton out of me. Before we moved, I was at the point where I would bust a hump to get to work on time (I am NOT a morning person), bust my hump at work, get home and just not feel like doing anything from being physically, mentally and emotionally worn out every single day and when I would have time off, I couldn't enjoy it because I was too tired and felt like crap. I am currently working on my goals for my ideal life--things that I want--more time with family, a job that I love that is more flexible (being my own boss), time enough to unwind and truly relax when I am not working. This list has been more difficult to come up with than you'd think, because I am trying to keep it realistic. Anyway, with each "thing" that I want in my life, I am working on small steps towards making it happen while also keeping my current income flow steady. It has not been easy so far, but it will be worth it when I reach all of my goals. I guess what I am saying is, to decide what you really want and come up with small steps towards making it happen for you.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
True enlightenment is nothing but the nature of one's own self being fully realised-- His Holiness the Dali Lama
www.madameapothecary.com |
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danyel
True Blue Farmgirl
349 Posts
Danyel
Robertsdale
PA
USA
349 Posts |
Posted - May 23 2014 : 8:06:25 PM
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Hi Rachel, I understand your distress. It is something that I have also had to deal with for many years. (24 years) A demanding job, responsibilities, and feeling like there is nothing left to give in a day. You know the days, when you have absolutely nothing left to give to another human being and your at home and then feel terrible because you snap. Each person deals differently, I like when I can get to church, but sometimes it is so long between my attendance I qualify for the visitor pew. So I have leaned a couple of tricks to take back my life. I try to keep a schedule for bedtime and wake time. I know I am in my 40's and on a routine but it has helped. I was full time nights for many years and it is the one thing that helped me, So if I was off that night I still stayed up. cleaned, baked, read, worked on a bible study, crafts. Maybe not the whole night but most of it, so that I kept myself on track, I know it did not give me the opportunity to interact much with others. I would rather do a bible study with other people but it is not something that worked on night shift, and everyone else that is normal is asleep when I am up and at work when I am asleep. Set some personal goals, like to see an old friend one night in the next month? Little things that others take for granted I have learned to just cherish. I saw a shooting star tonight, so I thanked God for the chance, even though it happened because once again it was a 16 hour shift. I spend a lot of time in prayer, ( and I need to spend more time then I do even now). I am not downplaying it, but I have a couple of friends, ( I rarely get to see ) but I know when I call they will pray for me. Event that helps when it gets as dark on the inside as it is out at night. It is so easy to just go to bed when you feel drained inside and out. Depression can do that to you pretty quick. I think its great that you still find time for the gym, I enjoyed my kindle but honestly I gave it my mom about 2 years ago because it became my safety net. I would be tired and say well I will read a couple pages... and the next thing it was a hour later and I was still reading. I was reading and not getting anything else done, I found it to be addictive, I also had to give up pinterest, because what free time I had I was not really accomplishing what I kept saying was of value to me. So. I made a list of what I wanted to be doing and what I was doing and set about making a change. One day at a time sweet Jesus, great hymn and great strength. some days are mountain tops and others are low, but I have personally found that the changes I have made are making a difference, I smile more, can really laugh, learned to set down for 5 minutes and turn off my brain long enough be quiet. and found that the job I once felt was a burden, ( with no relief in site and no way to be my own boss from home, but still needing to pay my bills. ) is a blessing, an odd quirky blessing.
My reply was not meant to preachy or offensive, just sharing, and I will keep you in prayer.
Danyel
farmgirl sister 4202 |
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churunga
True Blue Farmgirl
3930 Posts
Marie
Minneapolis
MN
USA
3930 Posts |
Posted - May 24 2014 : 07:36:23 AM
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I remember a terrible job I had at a third party collection company. Those are the people who call incessently and leave messages with just initials for a company name or say they want to discuss a business matter. During training, they wanted us to badger people and make them cry. I couldn't do that. As a Buddhist, I was determined to find the rightness of my employment. I decided that instead of badgering people into paying their debt, I would help them move toward financial security. In that way, I was able to feel good about my job. When someone made a payment, I called them and thanked them and asked them to call me when you are ready to sent another payment or if you can pay more or want to hear about a payment plan. I felt so much better about this terrible profession of collecting debt and was able to leave it all at work. Of course, I was fired for not making collection goals but that day was one of the 5 best days of my life. I had already made plans to leave and had an interview already lined up.
I'll think of other advice and get back on this thread another time.
Marie, Sister #5142
Farmgirl of the Month May 2014
Try everything once and the fun things twice. |
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Beverley
True Blue Farmgirl
2707 Posts
Beverley
atlanta
Michigan
USA
2707 Posts |
Posted - Jun 01 2014 : 4:25:23 PM
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I know how you feel. What I have done is to do something everyday that makes me feel good. Whether it be sewing for 15 minutes or gardening for 15 minutes or go talk to my chickens . Just something that makes me feel better. It does not have to be long or all thought out just something. I feel better when I go to work if I can think to myself, well I did whatever it was, and think about that for a while at work while I do other things. It is like going to my Happy Place and then I have something good to think about. And then while I am at work I think to myself, Well what will I do when I get home that is fun for me. I think about different things and then I finally decide on what it will be. I think have that to think about until I get home and do it. I know it sounds pretty silly but it works for me.
Folks will know how large your soul is by the way you treat a dog....Charles F. Doran
beverley baggett
Beverley with an extra E...
https://sites.google.com/site/bevsdoggies/
http://bevsdoggies.blogspot.com/ |
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Family Matters: The (figurative) well is dry and closing up! |
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The (figurative) well is dry and closing up!
