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Family Matters:  Aging Parents  |
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lovingewe
True Blue Farmgirl
212 Posts
marlyn-neleh
norwood
Ontario
Canada
212 Posts |
 Posted - Mar 06 2014 : 12:08:23 PM
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My Dat died last year at this time. He was my first love and I still cry daily I miss him so much.
In the meanwhile my 83 year old mum had knee replacement which with her health conditions didn't fair so well. Its been 5 months and things still keep cropping up that send her to the hospital. I have her in a respite at a senior home because I couldn't care for her 24/7.
Mom-in-law just came out the hospital for a 6 week stay for breaking her arm and fracturing her hip. She has arthritis all through her, and this has been quite something. She has early dementia and the pain killers did the real trick on her dementia.
My father-in-law the youngest of the lot is going out of his mind caring for mil.
Its such a challenge. They call it the sandwich generation but when you have grandkids yourself you babysit regularly, you kind of feel like the butter, rather the the filling.
www.cherishedelegance.blogspot.ca
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prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2014 : 3:36:04 PM
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Good thoughts and prayers coming your way. Many on here are in the same situation.
Take time, when you can to refresh yourself.
Hugs,
Linda
http://grannysbirds.blogspot.com/
Country at Heart
'For I know the plans I have for you......'
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2014 : 4:02:33 PM
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i should rephrase this;how do you need help?
what can anyone on here do for you to help? what help are you getting in your community?
are you taking care of yourself through all of this?
sending prayers and special hugs !
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
Edited by - Penny Wise on Mar 07 2014 08:43:37 AM |
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HodgeLodge
True Blue Farmgirl
662 Posts
Tiana
Berkeley Springs
WV
USA
662 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2014 : 4:25:17 PM
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lovingewe, im in a similar situation right now, my mom had both knees totally replaces on Dec 5th, and it has been trials and tribulations still going on, one thing after another, i was so stressed out i thought i was loosing my mind. my prayers are with you and it will get better for both of us. keep the faith.
Farmgirl #4817-The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses. ~Hanna Rion
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Hodge-Lodge-Clothesline/285366378259342
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HodgeLodge
True Blue Farmgirl
662 Posts
Tiana
Berkeley Springs
WV
USA
662 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2014 : 4:26:44 PM
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I do refresh too, i shut it all down, filled a hot bathtub with lots of lavender in it, put on head phones, and glass of wine, shut the door, and let the world go to hell in a handbasket for an hour. You will be surprised at how well it rejuvinates.
Farmgirl #4817-The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses. ~Hanna Rion
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Hodge-Lodge-Clothesline/285366378259342
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edlund33
True Blue Farmgirl
1497 Posts
Marilyn
Renton
WA
USA
1497 Posts |
Posted - Mar 06 2014 : 7:08:43 PM
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I know how you feel. My dad has Parkinson's with daily ups and downs plus mild to moderate dementia at times and can't be left alone. My mom has debilitating arthritis and has had numerous surgeries in the past couple of years to address various orthopedic issues. She will be having surgery again soon to reconstruct her foot so she can walk on it. She's been in a wheelchair for two months and will likely remain that way for 12-16 weeks after her foot surgery. I'm in the process of arranging for a caretaker to come into their home a few days a week so I can have more time to devote to our family business and my own life. my significant other has MS so he needs help at times as well. I've learned to cope during challenging times by setting aside an hour or two every day just for me. Aromatherapy, exercise, playing fiddle, gardening and crafting are great stress relievers for me. It also does wonders to stay connected with friends and family. Don't be afraid to ask for or accept offers for help. Sometimes having someone else take just one thing off your to-do list will do wonders for relieving overwhelm. Take care of yourself and hang in there!
Cheers! ~ Marilyn
Farm Girl No. 1100
http://blueskyanddaisies.blogspot.com
Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
Edited by - edlund33 on Mar 06 2014 7:11:29 PM |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Mar 07 2014 : 03:15:29 AM
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Hugs to you, Marlyn-neleh... BIG ones. BIG ones to ALL of you who are going through this. I know how difficult it is, I really, really do. God bless you and your loved ones! - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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lovingewe
True Blue Farmgirl
212 Posts
marlyn-neleh
norwood
Ontario
Canada
212 Posts |
Posted - Mar 09 2014 : 5:02:28 PM
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Thank you all. Mom is in the hospital right now with congested heart failure. Its 54 km one way to see her daily and I am feeling the stress. I have six siblings, the closest is 4 hours away. I'm just stressed out and the bath ain't going to happen as our water pipeline to the house froze up last week. I have no water at all right now, except in jugs. Lifes little hurtles 
Marlyn
www.cherishedelegance.blogspot.ca |
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Ruby V
True Blue Farmgirl
220 Posts
Ruby
Chilliwack
BC
Canada
220 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2014 : 6:08:30 PM
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Make room on the couch girls! I'm also dealing with an aging parent. Mom was first diagnosed with breast cancer 17 years ago and at the time, was told she'd be lucky to make it 3 more years. But she managed to go into remission. Then it came back as stage 4 in the bones 5 years ago and again, she was told she'd only make it another year. So she's beat the odds twice now, but it looks like her time is up.
In Dec. we had to get caretakers into her home and she had to be in a wheelchair. But it's been downhill ever since. Now we have her in a nice assisted living place with hospice care. She lives a 7 hour drive away, so one of my sister's is the power of attorney. Unfortunately, it's gone to her head and she's turned on me and my other sister. It's amazing how much a close family member will change when money becomes involved.
I'm stressed out enough worrying about mom and my own health problems, now have to deal with a sister who's full of rage and on a power trip {sigh}. I'm ready for this year to be over.
Ruby ~ Sister #3597 |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2014 : 7:02:55 PM
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Ruby V;i am so sorry that you are going thru this
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Mar 21 2014 : 8:33:36 PM
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sending hugs lovingewe!
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Mar 22 2014 : 07:07:27 AM
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So sorry, this is the most stressful stuff to deal with in life. :(
I think though the sandwich generation is more referring to people, who had children maybe a little later in life, and are raising their own children (not grandchildren) and having to take care of their elderly parents at the same time. That was my mom, because my grandma was about 45 when she had my mom, so when I was a preteen grandma's health went down hill and had to live with us, till she died.... so my mom was raising me and my siblings (I'm the oldest) while caring for her mom....grandpa had already died.
So that may be why you feel like the butter rather then the filling... :( But, again so so so sorry... I hate that this has to happen...
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
Edited by - MagnoliaWhisper on Mar 22 2014 07:09:00 AM |
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Marie_Angelique
Farmgirl in Training
39 Posts
Maria
Fort Leavenworth
KS
USA
39 Posts |
Posted - Jun 04 2014 : 12:40:07 PM
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I feel your pain. My dad died a year ago too and I miss him everyday. My mom is fairly young and aging and now I will be moving to a different state when I get married. I worry about her being alone without my dad but she will not move from Puerto Rico to Minnesota :)
Maria {Sister #3030}
"If it does not nourish the soul, get rid of it."
www.thegoodlifegirl.com |
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Family Matters: Aging Parents |
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Aging Parents
