| Author |
*Farmgirl Swap:  Not wanting to start a debate but I am wondering  |
|
levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9392 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9392 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 4:06:03 PM
|
When did tuck ins become an issue? I have been on the forum for 6 yrs and I have never seen anything like this come up before. I did not always add little tuck ins when I did a swap but sometimes I did and at times have received them. I think it is just as important to be a gracious receiver as it is to be a giver.
I saw the swap that requires no tuck ins and to say the least I was a bit surprised. Farm girls have always had a very giving spirit.
That is not to say there is anything wrong with not adding anything extra. It has always been left up to the giver. I guess I am just surprised that it has gotten to be such an issue that a swap would have to be specific about extra giving. These are just my thoughts. I am not looking for a debate just not understanding how it got to be this way on this wonderful forum.
To be honest it makes me kind of sad.
farm girl sister#43
http://www.ladybugsandlilacs.blogspot.com/
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
|
Edited by - levisgrammy on Jun 06 2013 4:10:30 PM |
|
|
tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 4:41:31 PM
|
Denise, I don't think it was ever an issue until some farmgirls made it one. You are so right in that it should be and has always been left up to the giver. I would never be unhappy about not getting tuck ins...I am just glad when I have a partner that follows through on a swap. What people don't seem to understand is that a tuck in does not have to be extravagant or expensive. I receive tuck ins all the time that are, for example, a couple teabags, a homemade tag or ATC, a couple of recipe cards, etc. Those to me are lovely and thoughtful things to send. I, personally, always include tuck in's....that's just me. I don't think they ever take away from the actual swap...I always stick to the theme and just add a little something extra, especially when I personally know the recipient and their likes. I'm not even sure quite how people can tell what's a tuck in and what is part of the actual swap. If it's a "tea" swap for instance, am I limited to one kind of tea...oh my gosh what if I send a couple. It's really just plain silly.
It gives me a lot of pleasure to do this, and no one is ever going to tell me I can't! I like to give probably more than receive, and that's that!
Makes me sad too, but to each his own I guess.
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
 |
|
|
gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 4:44:28 PM
|
To me I find it is just a mater of money, More things to buy more to ship and some time it is just not wanted. I hosted a quilt block swap and sent my blocks out without any tucks first to set a pattern. Because I was not wanting tucks. This quilt to make 12 blocks cost about 60.00 to finish and add all the borders another 50.00. So no in this instance it wasn't called for. I love the swaps that are themed I am in the Summer Surprise swap and was very happy with all I got.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
Edited by - gramadinah on Jun 06 2013 4:56:15 PM |
|
|
|
DandeeRose
True Blue Farmgirl
1509 Posts
Alicia
Charlestown, IN
1509 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 4:55:54 PM
|
Looks, to me, though that you don't have to tuck in. It is a choice. So there is nothing else to buy... Right? It's just a lil extra fun.
Many Blessings- Alicia
http://dandeelionrose.blogspot.com/
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass; it's about learning to dance in the rain." |
|
|
|
tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 5:04:05 PM
|
Alicia you are absolutely right. It is definitely a choice, plus if you do a tuck in, it does not have to be store bought or heavy or expensive or anything else. Just what you said, if you choose to add a little extra fun do it, if not don't. It's all about the fun!
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
|
|
|
nndairy
True Blue Farmgirl
3105 Posts
Heather
Wapakoneta
Ohio
USA
3105 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 5:10:39 PM
|
I am new to swapping (and MJF) and I have to admit that I was a little nervous after reading a few posts about the tuck ins, but I decided to go for it anyway. I couldn't resist a Christmas ornament swap and it was great! I also and sending out my second package tomorrow - it does include a couple extra things, but only because I found them really cheap and they were too cute to pass up! I received my package and was thrilled (even though there were no tuck ins) everything was homemade! To me that will beat any extras everytime!! I hope everyone continues swapping - it's too much fun to worry about something as silly as tuck ins!
Farmgirl Sister #4701 |
|
|
|
lovinRchickens
True Blue Farmgirl
3480 Posts
Kelly
Pipe Creek
Texas
USA
3480 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 6:32:08 PM
|
Denise...I too send them with most if not all of mine. I think it's fun to send a little extra if you can, if not no worries. If it makes the sender feel good it should not matter in my opinion.
Farmgirl #5111
Blessings
~Kelly~ |
|
|
|
hummingbirdjoy
True Blue Farmgirl
1217 Posts
Linda
Washington State
USA
1217 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 6:36:03 PM
|
I love to give tuck-ins but never expect any back from an exchange but
it is fun to both give and receive them. I try to make handmade ones or
sometimes an inexpensive little extra that I come across. It is all in
the spirit of giving and I feel like many others...if you want to go
ahead and if you don't that's ok too.
I liked the latest swap of 6 blue things and I have no problem
in abiding by the rule of "no tuck-ins" for it. Just love all the
creative swaps our MJF sisters come up with. 
What I make with my
hands, I give with my heart .... |
|
|
|
tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 6:36:48 PM
|
I agree Heather and Kelly! If it makes you feel good that should be all that matters! @Heather...I am very particular about whose swaps I join now....don't do nearly as many as I used to.
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
|
|
|
Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl
5190 Posts
Connie
Arlington
TN
USA
5190 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 8:14:31 PM
|
Tammy C. I join only certain swaps too, If the art is over my head, I skip it, for the other swappers mostly!! LOL!! I choose ones with Farm girls who share my same interests, and skip the ones with too many rules! My favorite Tuck in to get, is a Homemade Card. I keep them all!and use them to decorate my house for each Holiday and just any ole day! They are very special to me, cause my Farm Sisters made them! Big hug! to all!
Imagine....#3392 |
|
|
|
tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 8:24:18 PM
|
Connie, you are so right....just a homemade card would be a wonderful tuck in! I keep trying to say that you don't have to do tuck ins! And if you do they don't have to be expensive, store bought, or handmade if you don't want to..I skip swaps where I see the same old farmgirls that keep on burning people...and sure enough I look at the comments from their poor partners and yep, burned again. Don't get it! I definitely would skip a swap that had rules that were posted so vehemently. I believe that there is a nice way to say that you would like to host a swap without tuck ins without giving an "ultimatum". Not for me!
I love and treasure every scrap of paper you have ever sent me, even the post-its...LOL
Love you my friend,
Tammy
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
|
|
|
wildflower17
True Blue Farmgirl
3043 Posts
Judy
KY
USA
3043 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 8:28:38 PM
|
Connie,
So many things are precious to me that my farm sisters send to me when we swap. I still have some of the things on display in my home that you sent me when we were swap partners. The little yellow bird is so sweet. He may never be put away:):):)! I keep the things I am sent and decorate with them at the appropriate holiday too. I love the cards also. I keep them in a box and love to look at them from time to time. I am always happy with everything I get. I do tuck extras in when I feel that is what I should do. We never know what a little extra can mean to a farm sister. I don't require or request them with the swaps I do...but if someone feels led to give a little something extra...I think that is fine also.
Hugs!
Judy
"Blessed Beyond Measure"!!!
"Country Girl at Heart"... |
|
|
|
LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 11:51:05 PM
|
I have to admit that I was pretty surprised by the blatant "No Tucks" on this latest swap. It seemed an extreme request
to me...as "tucks" are really no big deal. I am like most of you girls...if I find a delightful find...I love to pass it along.
I just love to share. ~ As Hostess of Mail Art...I tell the new people about "tucks" and what they are, but tell them that
they are not obligated to do anything beyond their Mail Art. But that it is totally their choice.
To me..."tucks" just show that extra giving heart...and I wouldn't want anyone squashing my fun in the giving or the receiving.
It was my personal choice not to sign up for that Swap because I felt it limited my fun. But I felt she had every right to set
the rule for her own Swap that she was Hostessing.
Just My Thoughts...
Hugs,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
When I was a lonely wallflower, Jesus asked me to dance. Then he asked me to be His! |
|
|
|
kysheeplady
True Blue Farmgirl
1291 Posts
Teri
KY
USA
1291 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 02:43:50 AM
|
okay, here is another 2 cents from me, for me it is NOT about tucks or no tucks. It is more about getting a swap partner that will follow through. I really HATE to have to email the swap hostess and say, PLEASE don't pair me with this one or that one. So this is why I am very selective and don't do swaps any longer here.
I personally, and I know a lot of others go the EXTRA mile to make another farm girl happy with their swap goodies. But I have been in a few swaps where I felt as though my partner just threw a few things last minute in a box and shipped it off ... no note, no thanks for the swap, no thought.
Now, I know that we all different and I am NOT expecting my swap partner to give on the level that I do, but, really when you sign up for a swap ... you really should follow through, be prepared, have fore thought and have it out on time in a manner that YOU yourself would love to open up and be excited about what you unwrap next! The excitement, the fun, the anticipation!
And yes, something as simple as a small note pad, wrapped in tissue paper with a piece of pretty yarn or string, shows your partner that you cared enough to follow through and take the time to do this for them!
I also want to say that I was privileged to receive a little gift from a farm girl a few weeks ago ... it was a simple recipe card (with a photo of the cookie) and the recipe with a wooden spoon with my name on it, nothing extravagant just nicely put together that made me think how much this person wanted the recipient to feel special ... and it did .... Thanks Sherry :) Anyway ... it should be fun!
Just me, just sayin' ...
Teri
"There are black sheep in every flock"
www.whitesheepfarm.com
http://whitesheepfarm.wordpress.com/ |
|
|
|
Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 06:07:59 AM
|
I guess I am the "public face" of the farmgirl who "made tucks ins an issue." I am so sorry to anyone I have offended and truly respect your choice not to join my swap because you always tuck in something extra. This has been discussed before but let me explain my position..
PERSONALLY, I love tuck ins. I always include something(s) extra and agree that they don't have to be expensive. (I love teabags.) I SO appreciate everything a farmgirl sends me. The BEST tuck in for me is a note telling me about you, your life, your day, your family, your animals, your weather., whatever. I just really, truly, LOVE getting to know my farmgirl sisters better.
When you send a note on the forum thanking your swap partner for the swap, everyone is happy. BUT we are encouraging folks to post pics and I think that has been where the problem happened. In a few recent swaps, the pictures have shown so many "extras" that if you didn't know what the swap theme was, you would have no idea based just on the picture. If the swap was for 4 things, the picture would show 10. These weren't all expensive things..there were just so many of them. It seemed like almost nobody just sent the swap, or at least it looked that way in the pictures. This concerned many people. Originally, I was NOT one of them. Farmgirls have BIG hearts. I love tuck ins-getting AND giving them. After discussion with several gals off line I decided to address it on the forum. There was big discussion with many viewpoints and nobody is right or wrong. Everyone can do whatever is best for them. BUT I can't tell you how many women contacted me off line to thank me for speaking up. It really is a matter of money, I think. (and for some, staying true to the swap theme.) Several of our new members (and many members who have done this for awhile) saw all the stuff and decided not to join a swap because they just couldn't afford to spend the money or the time thinking up what extras to include. Several chose not to swap because they couldn't send all the extras-knew the photos would be on the forum and didn't want their partner to feel cheated that she only got a little.
With my color swap, I decided to be sensitive to that. I wanted EVERYONE to be able to participate. 6 blue things could be any size
or weight you wanted so money should not be the issue and no tuck ins meant you didn't have to think up or find anything else to include except 6 blue things. Again, off line I have had e-mails thanking me for not allowing tuck ins. Nobody will have hurt feelings when pics are posted. I am trying to honor that. That is all. I will continue to join swaps and send tuck ins. I will probably continue to host swaps that do not allow tuck ins and probably some that do. Many gals have said that you don't have to do it and it is no big deal and that is true for YOU. I am telling you that for some people this IS a big deal and saying "you don't have to do it" doesn't add up when the pictures they see on the forum all have tucks.
These are my PERSONAL feelings. I apologize to anyone I offended. I did not decide to "make this an issue." The issue was presented to me and I decided to give it voice. Farmgirls have big hearts and just want to make their sisters happy, and I think that sometimes that means honoring their discomfort and feelings too. That is all I was trying to do. Thank you, Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
Edited by - Joey on Jun 07 2013 06:25:15 AM |
|
|
|
Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 06:11:16 AM
|
Also, during the last discussion of all of this, it was suggested that maybe pictures should only include what the swap was for and you could thank your partner for all the tuck in extras in a personal off line e-mail. It was not my suggestion but maybe it was a good one. Just a suggestion. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
|
|
|
jan49829
True Blue Farmgirl
2428 Posts
Janet
Gladstone
Mi.
USA
2428 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 06:27:25 AM
|
I really do not think tuck ins should be added to the swap. It just seems that some people compete as to what is being sent. I am more for the ones that do not keep their end of the swap. I have been duped a few times and very disappointed for not getting a swap. I think those are the ones that should be taken out of the swaps. I do think that some people will not join swaps because of all the tuck ins involved. It is not part of the swap, and I believe it should not be included. Only the item that is being swapped. I always do send tuck in, only because it seems like I am obligated since everyone else is doing it.
Janet
Farmgirl Sister #3340
http://hardatworkcrafts.blogspot.com
http://Jan49829.etsy.com
|
|
|
|
Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 06:39:37 AM
|
Thank you Jan for at least getting what I am saying. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
|
|
|
MayFay
True Blue Farmgirl
73 Posts
Stephanie
MO
USA
73 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 07:08:26 AM
|
Being new to the forum but excited to join in, I thought the swaps looked like a lot of fun. But then I saw tuck-in comments and pictures and decided it was probably best if I did not do swaps. I even emailed the hostess of one and backed out. Money, plain and simple, is the issue for me. While understanding that tuck-in are technically optional, no one wants to look like a piker. Joey's no tuck-in swap made me breathe a sigh if relief that I might be able to join one sometime with a free conscience. I did join the Postcard Swap (it's been very fun) cuz it's hard to tuck things in with a postcard. ;)
So different strokes for different folks.
So maybe this doesn't have to be a right or wrong issue? Maybe this can be ok for everyone's view to have value and be valid? Generous tuck-inners can be loved, and we heart-willing but poorer folk can feel we've done our best, too?
How about both sides are right? |
|
|
|
LadyInRed
True Blue Farmgirl
6740 Posts
PeggyAnn
Vancouver
WA
USA
6740 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 07:34:31 AM
|
Joey...I really appreciate your voice on this. What you said made perfect sense from where you and others are coming from.
Each Coin has two sides...and all of us have to make our own call, "Heads" or "Tails"? We can't make that call for each other. 
blessings and hugs,
Peggy
Farmgirl #1326
http://ladyinredsite.blogspot.com
"Leave Your Cares Behind...Join Us On The Porch"
"I'm only as strong as the caffeine I drink, the hair-spray I use and the Girlfriends that I have."
When I was a lonely wallflower, Jesus asked me to dance. Then he asked me to be His! |
Edited by - LadyInRed on Jun 07 2013 07:36:01 AM |
|
|
|
prayin granny
True Blue Farmgirl
1874 Posts
Linda
Kansas
1874 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 09:33:32 AM
|
There are many older farmgirls on fixed incomes. And many younger also on more limited incomes. I don't think anyone is trying to offend or anything.
Just wanting to make sure that more are able to participate in a simpler swap! Which is awesome!
Hope everyone is having a good farmgirl day!
Farmgirl blessings,
Linda
Country at Heart |
|
|
|
Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 09:42:46 AM
|
Here is a suggestion that I did not see posted. On most of the swaps I have entered in and made the comment of tuck-ins can be added but not necessary. That comment alone makes the person feel that it is expected. At least that is how I felt. Not knowing about swaps as I am very new to this site and swaps in general, I looked at the pictures from the other swaps to see that was meant. So to my suggestion. Leave the tuck-in comment out completely. Let the girls make the choice themselves if they want to. I think that the comment leaves them to believe that it is required even though it says it isn't.
I also agree that it is about the follow through. On my first swap I received no reply as to the swap being received or thanked for. I did not receive anything and it put a sour taste in my mouth as to whether I wanted to do another swap. I as already committed to a few other swaps and those have gone very well. What should be addressed more so than the tuck-ins is the follow through on time.
Becky
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. |
|
|
|
Sally55
True Blue Farmgirl
105 Posts
Sally
Wampum
PA
USA
105 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 11:18:32 AM
|
I have only been here for 1 1/2 years. The first I logged on, I joined 3 swaps right off the bat! I enjoyed making the items for the swap but wasn't sure about the 'tuck ins' as I had seen other pictures from past swaps and it seemed like a lot was being sent so I purposely waited until I received my first package. She sent so much I went out and purchased 15.00 of extras just so I didn't feel like I cheated her when I mailed her her package. Since then, I have come to find 'tuck ins' are a lot better than 'extras' and I can do that :) I guess I was hit hard on the first swap and it put the pressure on me. I really enjoy a note from folks. I am not a writer but I will change that and include a note from now on. I always acknowledge the person on the forum and I love to see pictures of what others make...it is such an inspiration!
I do agree that people should stick to the time frame. I'm not talking about a week or two, things do come up. It's the 3 months later that gets me and no note, no sorry...there was a family problem or whatever...just thrown in a box and the season is long gone.
Oh well. That's just my 2 cents. I am the kind of person that has a guilt trip if I don't equal (not out do but equal) what I receive. I feel I have left them down if I don't equal what they send. But both partners can't hold off to see what the other one sends! I also know people enjoy sending a tuck in and it makes them feel good. So...with that said, I guess it's each to their own. Accept the gift and say a thank you. It was sent with the intention of making you feel good even though it wasn't expected of them. And if there was nothing else included in the swap, then there was a reason and that is fine too! I for one am happy with the opportunity to join a swap and share that alone.
PA Farmgirl #3766
Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up |
|
|
|
Emily Anna
True Blue Farmgirl
863 Posts
Emily
Fort Atkinson
WI
USA
863 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 11:46:23 AM
|
I don't want to step on toes, because I see a lot of lovely swap partners on this thread, but I really don't see what the big deal is that Joey specifically said no tuck ins. Her swap....her rules. There's bigger problems in the world than to be offended by someone who doesn't want to have extras in her swap.
I like to do tuck ins, but I can see where it would get overwhelming to the point where someone wouldn't join a swap because they would feel like they were short changing someone if they didn't add the extras. And let's be honest.....some of these farmgirls are extremely generous and in a place where they can give so much and the things they send looks like a treasure chest exploded! :)
This swap we are referring was meant to be simple. Find 6 blue things. Simple. Something you can find around the house. If people added all the extras, it would completely take away from the simplicity of the swap.
Again, I apologize if I offended anyone, but I don't want Joey to feel bad because she wanted to make everyone feel like they could do this swap by keeping it simple. I can think of many things that are offensive in this world, but adding "No tuck ins" to a swap is not one of them.
Emily |
|
|
|
Sally55
True Blue Farmgirl
105 Posts
Sally
Wampum
PA
USA
105 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 1:10:38 PM
|
Emily...I totally agree with you :) Her swap...her rules....but I hope no one ever feels they have to miss out on a swap because they feel obligated to add more if it is stated or not. I joined here for a reason, to make friends and exchange ideas and join in on the swaps. I look at the rules, look at the dead-lline and that is my deciding factor.... If my plate is too full at the time, then I pass the swap even though I'd really like to join. (and there have been many I wish I could have joined!)
Joey, thank you for hosting a swap (something I have yet to do but I have an idea in mind for some time maybe later this year).
PA Farmgirl #3766
Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up |
|
|
|
HealingTouch
True Blue Farmgirl
3448 Posts
Darlene
Kunkletown
Pa
USA
3448 Posts |
Posted - Jun 07 2013 : 8:13:44 PM
|
I agree that it's Joey's swap and her rules. If her rules offend you then don't join. I received and sent many tuck ins and
they were great. However, with the price of postage and with limited incomes for some, this just evens the playing field so
more might be able to join.
Joey, I don't think you were rude for stating your rules for no tuck ins. This is my first swap since I'm back from my cancer
and I joined it because of your rules. Don't feel bad. Everyone has their own opinion and the free will to join or not. You
got a good response so it's all good!
Be Blessed,
Darlene
Sister 1922
God first, everything else after!
When Satan's knocking at your door, just say "Jesus will you get that for me?"
|
|
|
|
*Farmgirl Swap: Not wanting to start a debate but I am wondering |
|
Not wanting to start a debate but I am wondering
Topic Locked
