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A Farm of My Own:  At Odds and Ends  |
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MrsTracy
True Blue Farmgirl
145 Posts
Tracy
Beaufort
South Carolina
USA
145 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 23 2013 : 2:26:28 PM
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Have you ever had so many things going on in your head that you can't grasp one long enough to make any sense out of it?
I almost feel as though I'm going through a midlife crisis. So many things I want to do but I just can't seem to "get" it.
The community that I live in is pretty mainstream. People work and struggle just like the rest of the world, but they seem to think that everything has to be done a certain way and anything outside of it is weird and laughable.
Simple things like shopping local and growing your own produce (we live in rural area) downsizing and living a more relaxed life just seems to be something only hippies do
Many days I go back and forth between homemaking and all that entails to academia (I'm a full time student). I want to write [not sure what yet, maybe historical fiction) and do some crafting, tend to my precious grandbabies and help my husband find what he wants to do with the rest of his life (his job is very labor intensive). In the end my days are spend running around with my head cut off.
Am I the only one who feels this way? I was raised to be a part of the rat race. Then I left the rat race to stay home and raise the kids and homeschool, then I got the back to school bug and while I thoroughly enjoy it, I'm almost done and I need to settle into something can garner a small income and bring fulfillment.
I'm not sure what I'm really expecting but I definitely needed to vent. Any advice for a soon to be 45 year old grandmother?
Aspiring Titus II and Proverbs 31 Lady. |
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Cindy Lou
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Susan
Lonsdale
MN
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2013 : 4:57:29 PM
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Tracy,
This is a good place to share questions and emotions, with caring friends.
I'm betting Beaufort is a small town, it sounds like so many other places where the same families have lived for generations and they don't understand people with other views. You might do better finding friends who are more mature students who understand that people can look at the world in different ways and not be "weird". And keep remembering that we are here.
Be proud that you are still interested in learning and changing, not stuck in a rut. To me 45 seems young but a lot of people have given up on things ever being different by that age. Congratulation on being almost done with school! Hats off to you for trying to help your husband also find a more relaxed, easier working type of life. It has to be his own decision in the long run but it helps to be in it together, but don't try to take the whole load alone.
Writing, crafting, and loving your grandbabies sound like a great way to live. Keep your focus and work toward it. Remember that growing your own produce is a great part to a healthy sane live style and enjoy it for the peace provided in the labor as well as the edible results.
Best wishes! And let us know how things are going from time to time.
Susan
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
Mary Oliver |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2013 : 5:03:15 PM
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Tracy, I couldn't have said it any better than Susan just did! The only thing I would add is: Do what makes you happy, we only have one time around in this wonderful life of ours. Good luck.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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MrsTracy
True Blue Farmgirl
145 Posts
Tracy
Beaufort
South Carolina
USA
145 Posts |
Posted - Apr 23 2013 : 5:51:01 PM
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Thanks ladies for the sage advice.
You know, I love my church and its filled with silver-haired saints who can't see what kind of life I'm trying to build. They can't understand why an "able-bodied" woman does not work outside her home. They find it hard to believe that a Black woman WANTS to be a homemaker. Most of these women grew up in a home where their mothers took care of the home, planted gardens and passed on knowledge. Seems like they've all gotten a case of select amnesia. What a sad waste of knowledge. My mom was a single working woman after having left a crazy, obsessive and abusive husband (my father) so she wasn't able to do all those things. My grandmother taught me lots but as a young adult, I never had the opportunity to put it use.
My hubby is also searching for something less stressful and more meaningful. This will allow us to spend more time together and with our littles. We live in a small house and never plan to "upgrade." We'll pay off our vehicle and my student loans. Things will work out for us in the end.
Maybe I'm wanting to do too many things at one time. I guess I just need to pace myself. Its not like I have to do it all at once. :-)
I guess what it boils down to is me doing me and being oh so happy about it!
Aspiring Titus II and Proverbs 31 Lady. |
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NixKat
True Blue Farmgirl
288 Posts
Kathleen
CT
USA
288 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2013 : 07:28:38 AM
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quote:
Originally posted by MrsTracy
Have you ever had so many things going on in your head that you can't grasp one long enough to make any sense out of it?
I almost feel as though I'm going through a midlife crisis. So many things I want to do but I just can't seem to "get" it.
The community that I live in is pretty mainstream. People work and struggle just like the rest of the world, but they seem to think that everything has to be done a certain way and anything outside of it is weird and laughable.
Simple things like shopping local and growing your own produce (we live in rural area) downsizing and living a more relaxed life just seems to be something only hippies do
Many days I go back and forth between homemaking and all that entails to academia (I'm a full time student). I want to write [not sure what yet, maybe historical fiction) and do some crafting, tend to my precious grandbabies and help my husband find what he wants to do with the rest of his life (his job is very labor intensive). In the end my days are spend running around with my head cut off.
Am I the only one who feels this way? I was raised to be a part of the rat race. Then I left the rat race to stay home and raise the kids and homeschool, then I got the back to school bug and while I thoroughly enjoy it, I'm almost done and I need to settle into something can garner a small income and bring fulfillment.
I'm not sure what I'm really expecting but I definitely needed to vent. Any advice for a soon to be 45 year old grandmother?
Aspiring Titus II and Proverbs 31 Lady.
Hi Tracy, this looks exactly like something I would have written! I finally got my AS at age 40 and by age 45 I had 3 grand-babies and was trying to begin a new stage of life, but didn't really know how to narrow it down since there were so many things I had always wanted to accomplish or exerience. I did get a job and work for a few years, during that time I learned that the women my age were just like the ones you describe. My new friends who shared your and my views were all so young (20's and 30's). Those 3 little grand-babies I mentioned are grown men now in their 20's and they love that I have started my backyard homestead. They and their friends all prefer "the old ways" like shopping at farm stands and buying local.
I love living the "hippie" life and don't care if the neighbors think I am weird. Live your life in the manner that makes you happy. As for your long list of "To Do's" just take them one at a time and check them off. This is how I decided to cope with the challenges of too many dreams.
Tracy you have so much going for you ... the heck with the run of the mill people, live your life doing what makes you happy and everything else will fall into place.
~Best
Kathleen...... Farmgirl Sister #3447
http://hennypennyfarm.blogspot.com/
www.klbobbittphotography.com
/www.facebook.com/KlBobbittPhotography |
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MrsTracy
True Blue Farmgirl
145 Posts
Tracy
Beaufort
South Carolina
USA
145 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2013 : 09:18:47 AM
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Aww Kathleen! Thanks so much for the encouragement!
I am at a different stage than a lot of women my age, not young, not "old." When I'm in class the students mistake me for someone in my late twenties, earlier thirties and truly freak out when I mention the grands!
You are so right, I'm just going to dance to the rhythm of my own beat. Right this very moment I have the grands and while they are a handful I flip out every time their parents mention getting a sitter. My daughter says I've scared off any potential babysitters on FB!!
The best thing is knowing that my hubby loves my quirkiness and has accepted it. We struggled for a while with what he thought I should be doing because people were asking him about my not working. It was tough for him but he did see how much more I was needed at home than working some job that I'd be calling out more than showing up for. They've been told to "mindyerbisness."
I'm sitting here looking out my back window thinking how blessed I truly am and how I want to create a world of wonder and exploration and self-sufficiency for my family. I am very thankful for finding this group so that I can learn and be encouraged and know that there are others like me out there! The best part is knowing how our daughter wants to emulate me. Married with 4 children and just 22 (23 in August) she's quick to tell everyone she was raised to do things the "old fashioned" way. LOL!
Thanks for the smiles!
Aspiring Titus II and Proverbs 31 Lady. |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2013 : 1:41:25 PM
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Tracy,
I am only in my mid-30s, but I am doing what you have done/are doing, minus the grandbabies ;0)
Just because you choose to live your life differently DOES NOT mean that you are attacking other people's choices! I'm not sure why some women, in particular, feel this way. If you want to be a homemaker, it doesn't mean that you are denouncing a working mom. Just because you homeschool does not mean you are turning up your nose at those who choose to send their kids to public school. I think that women can just be silly (if not downright vicious) about these things. That being said, I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do!
I love my farm girl life, and while some people may think I'm odd, guess where they'll turn when, down the road, they need advice on gardening, preserving/raising their own food, or anything 'farm girl'? Why do people wait until they're retired to learn these things? I'd rather know 'em NOW! Even my completely 'city-fied' friends who won't even eat chicken with a bone it in (literally) have told me if the world goes haywire, they're moving in with me! Why? Because I can sew, build a fire, cook, make and preserve my own foods, butcher meat, etc., etc. Common knowledge is no longer common! And for the record, you ARE working! You may not get a paycheck at the end of the week, but you are making a H-O-M-E for your family, and I can't imagine a better J-O-B than that!!!
:0) Hugs!
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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Tall Holly
True Blue Farmgirl
2305 Posts
Holly
Worcester
Vermont
USA
2305 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2013 : 4:43:23 PM
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Good evening,
Good for you going back to school to learn because you want too.
We do not live according to the norms of society either. When I first moved to this area the people were not friendly and talked mean. Now they hold us up as examples of good people.
I think maybe some of the people are a little jealous that you have enough resources to not have to work out of the house.
Enjoy your life and your grands. You are still young enough you could add adoption to your list of to dos. lol
Sweet dreams
Holly
farmgirl #2499
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Ladybek9756
True Blue Farmgirl
882 Posts
Rebecca
Linneus
Maine
USA
882 Posts |
Posted - Apr 27 2013 : 04:59:00 AM
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Tracy,
Like you I went back to school. My husband has gone back also to learn some new skills. I am one class from AA and 2 years from BA. My goal is to find something where I can stay home, tend my homestead lifestyle that I so want. Oh by the way I am in my mid-50s. I don't believe you are ever to old to start the life that truly will make each day worth getting out of bed for. I work in Banking for 25 years and just got tired of it. My husband works, we are on a very tight budget but it works for us. I am starting a garden in my postage stamp yard this year and learning all that I can to have my dream life. If you look within your heart, you will find what makes it skip a beat. Remember the saying that life is not the breaths we take but the things that take our breath. That is your true destiny. It's inside of you and you will find it. Then all the pieces will just fall into place and you won't feel so overwhelmed. As to those who don't understand you, it is not their passion or desire that matters. They have their own and can not possibly understand yours because yours is different from them. Life I believe is all about doing the things that God put us on this Earth to do. Find your true North. Good luck and I know that you will find your love and be great at it.
May the stars carry your sadness away. May the flowers fill your heart with beauty, and may hope forever wipe away your tears. Becky #4932 |
Edited by - Ladybek9756 on Apr 27 2013 05:00:31 AM |
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MrsTracy
True Blue Farmgirl
145 Posts
Tracy
Beaufort
South Carolina
USA
145 Posts |
Posted - Apr 30 2013 : 06:07:40 AM
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Thanks Rebecca!
I have so many things going on in my life and its my dreams that keep me sane! I am pushing my self out my comfort zones by doing things that I often find grubby and yucky because becoming self sufficient means BEING self-sufficient. Those very women who think I'm nuts will come knocking on my door one day...
Aspiring Titus II and Proverbs 31 Lady. |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Jun 04 2013 : 09:05:52 AM
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Ms. Tracy,
Keep following your dreams. I've been to Beaufort and it is a lovely town. I almost moved there after college, but my parents had other plans. (I needed their help financially to make the move and they refused!) Anyhoo - I stayed in Indiana. I think it is great that you have continued your education. I hope you can find something for your husband to do too. There has just got to be more like minded folks there. Keep looking and don't give up just because mainstream doesn't "like" it. Have you looked for farmer's markets or anything like that? There's sure to be someone there you can befriend. I wish you the best! Maybe someday I can return to Beaufort for a visit and we can meet!
Hugs to you!
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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Katlady93
True Blue Farmgirl
361 Posts
Charlotte
Denmark
SC
USA
361 Posts |
Posted - Jun 04 2013 : 4:28:29 PM
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Tracy
Beaufort was a beautiful place the last time i was there. a loooooong time ago. and i agree with all that has been said. some people are just too insecure to let others do what they to do. keep going after what you want, it's the only way you will be happy.
Some dreams are worth the risk it takes to make them real.
Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 10:45:13 AM
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Hey porchies! Haven't been here in a while. Son.had tee ball this spring and.has come out of his shell more. Been trying to get our gardens in. Peas, cucumbers, squash, pumpkins, sunflowers, zucchini have all popped there first leaves. Trying to keep g garden plots weeded .
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 10:54:24 AM
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Is going to be a chore and there are only 3 plots but still. Soon it's going to be hay season then blueberry season. And trying to help dh on small jobs is just one more thing added to the pot on top of work. Seriously thinking about taking real estate courses and becoming an agent and or broker. Imagine a 44 yo woman with a 5 going on 6 yo and self employed hubby going back to school. What am I thinking? Nothing is set in stone. I need to do my research first and see what it all entails first. No point in good money chasing after bad.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Jun 06 2013 : 10:58:41 AM
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Sorry wrong forum. Android won't let me delete this post.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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KatTylee
True Blue Farmgirl
230 Posts
Katrina
Mitchell
Nebraska
USA
230 Posts |
Posted - Jul 16 2013 : 07:48:26 AM
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Hi Mrs. Tracy,
I've got to agree with the other gals regarding the mainstream folks. I find the same things here in my town. Luckily I've managed to find the farmer's market and a few other like minded gals. I guess I gotta say I've always marched to my own drum, and yes they will come around when folks need to know something. My in-laws (all very much city folks) all say they are moving in with us if anything happens. :) They are amazed by little things like knowing when and how to harvest lettuce. To me is seems so simple and I forget that others don't know these things. People who really matter, like your husband, kids, and grands will be happy that you are happy.
As far as the to-do list... I'd be bored if mine ever got shorter than a mile. ;) I think we need them to keep us going in a somewhat focused manner.
~"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken."
— Oscar Wilde~
Farmgirl Sister #3214
http://lazymomgardener.wordpress.com/
http://littlehawkyarns.wordpress.com |
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A Farm of My Own: At Odds and Ends |
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At Odds and Ends
