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*Farmgirl Swap:  Long rant-sorry-but I would love feedback  |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 04 2013 : 3:37:04 PM
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I know we have discussed this before but I want to bring it up again. First, thank you to all the new farm girls who have stepped up right out of the gate hosting and participating in swaps and barter. It is wonderful to see new names and swaps.
I do have 2 complaints, and maybe it's just me but...
Any of you who have swapped or bartered with me know that I love words SO much. If the real purpose is to get to know our sister farm girls better, I would think that a few words would be necessary. I have received several swaps/barter when someone has just put something in a box, labeled it "for you from me" and sent it. It hurts me because no matter what thing you send me what I really want is the little note enclosed. You don't have to write a lot, (although I always do, but that's just me)-just a little something about your day or farm or family or whatever...just something a little personal. I have every little note someone has sent me put away in my MJF box and I reread them often.
Secondly, again lately I've seen pictures of several swaps where so many tuck-ins have been included that what the swap was really about is lost in the pile of things. I thought the tuck-in was supposed to be a LITTLE something or two put in to "sweeten the pot" a little. Farm girls have such loving, giving hearts and we all want so much to make our sisters feel special, but I think we have gone WAY overboard lately. The swap is supposed to be about the SWAP, not the stuff. I also don't want to give the new sisters we get the idea that they can't join the swap and just do the swap without a bunch of tuck-ins too. I know a few girls who have not entered swaps because they just couldn't send the extras and did not want their swap buddy to be disappointed. Maybe I'm just noticing it more now because we've gotten better about sharing pictures. I don't know but I would love feedback on this, please.
Thanks for listening. I hope you are all having a happy day. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
Edited by - Joey on Apr 04 2013 3:42:54 PM |
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2013 : 7:46:32 PM
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Joey I think your idea is great but I really have nothing that I feel is of any importance about me in a swap in less it is a swap of get to know who you are which I will not sign up for because..... I hate to write I struggle to get things to make sense and so I really let my swap speak for it self. I also find that if not careful the entire comment can be taken wrong and then there is a big mess too. So that part I am sorry. But I am 100% behind you on the tuck ins. I am the host of a quilt square swap and I did mine and sent them them out with out tucks on purpose The price of fabric /postage/and then to send a tuck too I just can't afford it. But I love the creative aspect of 12 girls and there taste to come together in a quilt.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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HolidayJunkie
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Michelle
Northglenn
Colorado
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Apr 04 2013 : 10:53:55 PM
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I haven't participated in any swaps on this forum yet, however I have been doing them for years on another board. In my experience everyone's expectations are different. I really ultimately think it goes back to the old saying..."It's better to give, than to receive". I participate in a swap, where I send 25 small wrapped gifts for the month of December. I spend a lot of time, wrapping each of those gifts. Making sure all the paper matches and they all have a special ribbon or beautiful decoration on top. I love wrapping paper..and I love making my Christmas gifts look nice. As much as I'd love to receive that back, it just hasn't ever happened. They've always been all one paper and rarely any bows or ribbons. But, I keep doing it each year, because it makes me happy. My suggestion is just keep doing what you feel is right, proper and makes you happy. That's really all you can control...and ultimately if you get to a point where it's not fun for you anymore or you aren't receiving the feel good portion of it anymore, then maybe rethink which swaps your participating in or even start another one that fits your needs more closely.
Blog: http://confessionsofaholidayjunkie.blogspot.com/
Pinterest: http://pinterest.com/holidayjunkie/ |
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neeter302
True Blue Farmgirl
257 Posts
Anita
Hanover
Indiana
USA
257 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 01:58:48 AM
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Joey I'm in agreement with you. I absolutely treasure the letters/notes/cards that come with my swaps as it gives you a glimpse into who the person is, what they're like or what their life is like. Getting little extras is great but I agree it should be something small, done by hand or personal. We all have our unique skills, talents and personalities so let that be your guide, just be yourself. Communication is important as things do come up and your swap is delayed or just letting your partner know you received their package so they don't assume something has gone wrong or lost in the mail. It's been mentioned several times before and I reiterate if you're not sure you have the time to invest in a swap then don't sign up. Diana you ARE special and important in your own unique way and I'm sure anyone would love to get to know you! Michelle you're such a sweet lady, it IS better to give than to receive and if you take that attitude you're never disappointed :-)
Farmgirl #522
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Lavender Rose
True Blue Farmgirl
1979 Posts
Brenda
Jackson
MI
USA
1979 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 06:31:13 AM
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I too have a difficult time putting things down in words, although, I do try. I have only been doing swaps since last November. It has taken me awhile to figure out what is expected. I understand that not everyone has the same skill level. That doesn't matter it is just wonderful that someone is willing to take the time to send a Swap.
IT IS VERY DISAPPOINTING WHEN SOMEONE SIGNS UP AND DOESN'T KEEP THEIR END OF THE BARGIN. A message or some kind of acknowledgement to let their partner know what happened would be greatly appreciated. Things can and do happen in our life that can interfer with our obligations, but that doesn't mean we can't take a minute and let our partner or hostess know. My heart goes out to anyone who has signed up and not recieved a Swap in return or any acknowledgement. I know what that feels like and it isn't nice.
As for tuck-ins, let your heart be your guide. I loved to give things to others and I know sometimes I can go overboard. I do work on not doing that. My family tells me I overdo gifts all the time.
Lavender Rose
Each day we add to our legacy--good or bad.
Our Daily Bread |
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MtnGrlByTheBay
True Blue Farmgirl
171 Posts
Erin
Lexington Park
MD
USA
171 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 07:32:22 AM
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You know what I did once? I got a couple of local post cards and tucked them in. Just a way to show my partner what my neck of the woods looked like. No words needed, but still better than "To: You From: Me".
^^^I'm a RidgeRunner, and will always feel best when surrounded by the PA mountains.^^^
www.lastlapgang.com |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7718 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7718 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 12:00:51 PM
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I agree with all of you, It is up to you how you want to do your part of the swap. I am person who likes to give and enjoy it when I can do that, I can't always but do try. But I don't necessarily expect anyone to send tucks, I enjoy them when I get them.
I also have put in post cards from where I am from because it tells everyone about my area which I do love and want to share. I have failed to put in little notes and cards mostly because I forgot to but am getting better at that I hope, It isn't because I don't care about the person mostly it is from my lack of having anything to say other than hope you enjoyed the swap. I would like to write more fun things like some of the others I have gotten but my brain hasn't gotten there yet.
I will continue tucking without expecting any. I love the swaps and the people I swap with and I just love you all and want to make you feel good when I swap/.
Blessings to you all
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
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HodgeLodge
True Blue Farmgirl
662 Posts
Tiana
Berkeley Springs
WV
USA
662 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 2:15:35 PM
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I am new to swaps and have done 2 so far. I believe I put a little note inside each. Not just from me to you. I could add a little extra in the future. As for the tuck ins. I am ok with that. My first swap not knowing what to expect it was pretty much stick to what it said, no frills. My swap partner bless her heart went out of her way to show me a great swap. I try to keep up with that because I enjoyed it, and want my swap partner to enjoy what I send as I have. I am not the most creative person in the world, but I try. Let your heart be your guide, some are blessed with money, talent, time, etc.
Farmgirl #4817-The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses. ~Hanna Rion
https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Hodge-Lodge-Clothesline/285366378259342
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aimeeravae
True Blue Farmgirl
341 Posts
Aimee
Deer River
MN
USA
341 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 7:25:11 PM
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| I love to do tuck ins. What I have not ever done is put notes in the packages. just never thought about it. I live in a small farming community in South Dakota. I go to work, come home to my family. Its flat and windy. LOL Not alot to say about that. I will say that my tuck ins are things I make. soap dishcloths potholders, etc. or things that I no longer use. I believe I mailed out a vintage picture, rubber stamp, and soap with an apron swap once. I had checked the post archives of the swap buddy to find out likes and included things I had on hand. |
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Ruby V
True Blue Farmgirl
220 Posts
Ruby
Chilliwack
BC
Canada
220 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 8:32:17 PM
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Honestly, it's never entered my mind that I should maybe be sending a little note with my swap.
I would love to send tuck-ins, but since I'm mailing my swaps from Canada, the postage is just so high. Adding even so much as a postcard, could jump the postage up by $5 or more. I do feel guilty that I'm unable to send tuck-ins.
Unfortunately, I'm not as creative as most of you, so I find it difficult to come up with cute sayings, artistic little tags, etc.
Ruby ~ Sister #3597 |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Apr 05 2013 : 10:16:00 PM
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Thanks for the feedback. Because it is all so easy for me (my JOB is all talking and listening) It never occurred to me that writing a little note would be hard for some people. Diana and Ruby, it's not about being cleaver or creative, really. Everyone is precious and unique. What I enjoyed most last year was the 5 weeks we spent crossing the country because I got to talk to people all over the USA. What utter joy it was for me to meet people. I'd treasure a postcard, especially if you wrote on the back why you liked the post card place or the last time you were there, etc. I just love hearing about someone's family or animals or farm or dinner, etc.
I guess what Ruby said is my point. I don't want anyone to feel guilty that they can't send tuck-ins. Sometimes when I look at pictures I can't tell what the swap was about; or they sent 1 swap thing and 8 other things. I think it is just too much.
Thanks for sharing your opinions sisters. I appreciate the feedback. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 08:47:59 AM
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joey-i'm at worl so can only write quickly - i am with you about tucks. i love giving however i am not always able to think of clever things nor do i do :crafties" - mental block..
i would love to add more to my comments later when ican think!
i enjoyed this thread tho cuz often the overwhelming tucks that i see keep me from even joining a swap...
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 1:27:45 PM
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Thanks for the feedback. I think Margo hit the nail on the head for me. Since I posted this thread I have had 3 gals e-mail me personally because they did not want to leave their comments on the forum. All 3 of them told me that they used to swap but do not do so anymore because they could not afford the time to make, buy, send tuck-ins or the extra postage money and that the focus now is who can send more tuck-ins and the swap was lost in the process.
I don't know what the solution is but it makes me sad that everyone does not feel welcome to participate in creative swaps. I don't think this is what farm girls intended. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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Ruby V
True Blue Farmgirl
220 Posts
Ruby
Chilliwack
BC
Canada
220 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 2:02:17 PM
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I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I haven't joined many swaps because I can't afford the high postage to add tuck-ins. Now that I see others feel the same way, I'm wondering if we can come up to a solution? Maybe some of the swaps could state in their rules - please no tuck-ins for this swap? Would that work?
Ruby ~ Sister #3597 |
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Ruby V
True Blue Farmgirl
220 Posts
Ruby
Chilliwack
BC
Canada
220 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 5:30:03 PM
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I just had another idea - what about a swap that's just for tuck-ins? {laughing} A tuck-ins only swap! It could be interesting - kind of like a mystery swap, no idea what you're going to receive!
Ruby ~ Sister #3597 |
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tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 6:41:38 PM
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Well, to weigh in on this topic....tucks.....I totally agree with Darlene. They are lovely to receive, but certainly not expected. I enjoy adding tucks to my swaps and will continue to do so. I have a lot of fun picking things out for my swap partners. I certainly have never received a swap where the tucks took away from the swap itself. They are just that...little extras that are wonderful but not something I expect. Tucks do not have to cost time or money. I have received such tucks as tea bags, a handwritten or typed recipe card, a postcard, a package of seeds, etc. I am sure items such as these would not cost any extra in postage. My point is that a tuck doesn't have to be expensive or handmade and you don't have to send a dozen tucks (or any tucks if you don't wish to).
Just to say...if I saw a swap that said no tuck-ins, I would definitely not join. Swaps are meant to be fun for everyone, and if someone enjoys sending little extras they should be able to do so.
For me...I don't enjoy writing long letters and don't think I'm good at it. I always include a card with a little note, however, and I've always received the same. I've never had any complaints, so I'll keep doing the same. I love receiving letters, I'm just not good at writing them.
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
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treelady
True Blue Farmgirl
2325 Posts
Julie
Medina
ND
USA
2325 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 7:12:40 PM
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Thank you Tammy, those were my thoughts also. To add tucks or not should be up to each individual and I too would not join a swap that prohibited it.
As to notes or letters, I don't always know when I am going to get to the post office and there are times when I have to go on the spur of the moment so I quickly get my package sealed up and forget about putting a note in there. I know most people try to add a personal note but it isn't always easy to find the time to write more than a Thank You on a sticky note.
A little rain can straighten a flower stem. A little love can change a life.
Max Lucado |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Apr 08 2013 : 10:48:39 PM
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Just to clarify, I am not writing long letters in my swap either. I generally send a notecard that I've written. I finally understand that it is hard for some people to do that and that is OK.
Ruby, I liked both of your ideas of a swap with no tucks and of a
swap of just tuck-ins. I'll have to think about that.
I appreciate the feedback. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 2:53:20 PM
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i've never done letters either....i am not much of a letter writer period. i join the swap just to have fun swapping the actual swap item....otherwise i would join a penpal thing...
The reason i stopped doing swaps-50% of the time, my partner would forget to do hers...would promise and promise soon, soon, etc.....then after a year or so apologize and say they just couldn't do it...and i would never get my end of the swap. the other 50% i NEVER received a tuck, in fact...kind of sad the effort that went into the actual swap item....i would spend a lot of time and effort and the other person, would add ribbon to something premade....um...ok....so it just wasn't fun any more...i decided i should just make myself what i wanted with my time, that way i actually got something! lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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kysheeplady
True Blue Farmgirl
1291 Posts
Teri
KY
USA
1291 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2013 : 3:30:20 PM
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I don't think that there is any easy answer to this. I have done a few swaps and for no reason other than I just don't want to, more than likely I won't do another.
I did send a thanks and a small note as to what I made or what I used to make it. And wished them much enjoyment with the items.
For me I am a giver always have been, and I am at a place in my life where I can give, and have more than enough to give.
But, I also do NOT want to make a swap partner feel less about their items because I gave more. It is not fair to them. And I can ONLY hope that I did NOT make my past swap partners feel that way.
But, a simple solution would be to have swaps with tuck ins and swaps with out ... which would make everyone happy ... don't you think.
And as for the note, to me that is just common courtesy ...
Teri
"There are black sheep in every flock"
White Sheep Farm
www.whitesheepfarm.com |
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Killarney
True Blue Farmgirl
5367 Posts
Connie
Arlington
TN
USA
5367 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 2:29:36 PM
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DITTO! Tammy C. Do what feels right for you!! and what makes you happy! This is not high school, I left that behind years ago! Sometimes I give more than I get, and sometimes I get more than I give! Depends on the swap! and how busy I am, or if my MS is flaring. I would hate for the swaps to have strict rules!!!
Imagine....#3392 |
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Blessed in Colorado
True Blue Farmgirl
6726 Posts
Debbie L.
Oregon
USA
6726 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 2:48:43 PM
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I agreed with Tammy, Julie and others, I like the tucks in, I don't always do it but when I can I do. And, I try to always add a note but sometimes I do forget. On my swaps I never got so much tuck ins that you could not tell what the swap was, just little things like soap, tea, notecards little things that I love and always need.
Why do I do the swaps because I love giving, I was always taught it is better to give than to receive, quality not quantity. I always prefer a homemade gift but not everyone has the same talents. I knit and crochet that is about it as I do not have the imagination that a lot of our Sisters have to be so darn crafty.
I follow my heart with my giving, sometimes I will send a gift, or card as a surprise to one of my farmgirl sisters who need a little love or a hug, sometimes I send anonymously, that is just what makes me feel good and my heart sing when she writes that I made her day. That is what it is all about for me giving. And, y'all know I love farmgirl mail, heck I repeat it enough, and when I do receive a gift or card in the mail, it makes me feel so good that someone cared enough and thought of me that day, but if I never received anything that would be fine too, I would not stop giving because I did not get something in return.
I hope I do not offend anyone as I do not mean to, this is just how I feel, I follow my heart with barters, swaps and all things related to farmgirls.
Thanks for letting me express my opinion, as I believe we all have a right to our own opinions and feelings, whether we agreed or disagree with one another.
Hugs to all,
Debbie
Happiness is a warm fire at 9000 feet.
www.etsy.com/shop/CollectThisTreasures
www.etsy.com/shop/MountainWingsAntique
http://debbielynnf.blogspot.com
http://myworld.ebay.com/debbt |
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tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 6:24:47 PM
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Yep, I'm with Connie and Debbie....we each need to do what feels right for us. Like Debbie, I follow my heart with giving. I am often out shopping and see something that is just perfect for a farmgirl friend, so I pick it up to surprise them. Do I expect something in return....absolutely not!!! My fun is in the giving. However, have I received wonderful
surprise farmgirl packages in the mail...absolutely...many times :)
That said, what is unacceptable to me is when a swap partner never even acknowledges that they received your swap. Now I get delivery confirmation on everything, so I know that they did receive their swap. It hasn't happened to me too often, but did happen recently in a swap. Not a word posted on the forum or privately thanking me or her other swap partner. That to me is the height of rudeness. That is much more upsetting than getting a lovely package with a short note or even a post-it. Like Julie said, sometimes I'm in such a hurry to get to the post office that I forget to bring along addresses, much less write a long letter. I've had to call poor Debbie from the post office to get an address more than once...LOL. I have to think that my partner will open my package and know that it was sent with love and thoughtfulness, even without a letter.
Like Connie said, sometimes I get more than I give, sometimes I give more than I get. It doesn't matter in the least! I will say again though, that I would never ever participate in a swap that had stringent rules about no "tucks"....forget it. Swaps are supposed to be fun...if it's not fun for you don't participate...bottom line. I pick and choose my swaps very carefully for many reasons. There have been many swaps come up lately that have been hosted by new farmgirls which is great. However, I've seen some farmgirls join these swaps that have been so unpleasant to swap with in the past that I just won't participate if they are in the swap. Since the new farmgirls don't know as much of the history and I don't want to spoil their fun as hostess, I just don't join...problem solved.
To sum it up...if it feels right go with it, if it doesn't don't!
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
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darlenelovesart
True Blue Farmgirl
7718 Posts
darlene
Loleta
California
USA
7718 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 7:16:23 PM
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Yes I agree Debbie and Tammyc I just have fun doing it and just feel good that I can make someone feel good. I just love being here and knowing all of you.
blessings
darlene
I have learned that to have a good friend is the purest of all God's gifts, for it is a love that has no exchange of payment.
by Frances Farmer
Just follow God unquestioningly.
Because you love Him so, for if you trust His judgment there is nothing you need to know.
I trust in you Jesus... |
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tammyc
True Blue Farmgirl
698 Posts
Tammy
Danville
California
USA
698 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2013 : 8:28:44 PM
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Cheers to that Darlene!
"Be who you are and say what you like because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss |
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*Farmgirl Swap: Long rant-sorry-but I would love feedback |
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Long rant-sorry-but I would love feedback
