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Across the Fence:  Our doggy died this weekend  |
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ashcordes
True Blue Farmgirl
197 Posts
Ashley
Roann
IN
USA
197 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 09:17:11 AM
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| We are in mourning over our beloved fox terrier of 4+ years who was killed on the road this weekend. We are so lost...we just don't know what to do without our little buddy...he was like our first baby. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can help my hubby through this, he is taking it even harder than I am. |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 09:41:42 AM
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Ashley,
I am so sorry for your loss and know all too well the pain you and your hubby are experiencing.
We lost our dog this summer. Abby was our dog-child. She ran away from hearing thunder and was hit on a bridge about 2 miles away. I feel better about being able to recover a body and have something to bury. Since the accident, I have passed by way of that bridge only once.
Even now my heart is still broken.
Rather than rushing out to find another, give yourselves time to mourn and heal. The grief will sneak up at strange times, the heaviness in you chests will eventually pass.
If you guys took pictures, try going through these to rember the happy times. I made a collage to hang on the wall. Abby's grave sits on a hill that overlooks our house. The spot has zinias planted on it and gerbera daisys. The zinnias will spread everywhere, so to visit the site helps in the healing too
Cry your eyes out if you have to, you'll feel better. And hug each other.
I have been corresponding w/ a breeder and we hope to have a new puppy sometime before the new year.
There will never be replacements for the pets we loose, but the human heart has the capacity to love again too.
So sorry again |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 10:11:05 AM
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Oh Ashley...I am sending a big hug from Utah...I know that heartbreak. It WILL get easier..but it does take time..no help there, sorry. I will sure keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers..it is such a hard thing to go through!
Jenny in Utah
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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verbina
True Blue Farmgirl
231 Posts
randi
n.j
USA
231 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 10:39:00 AM
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| Time for tears.THEN ANOTHER DOG .Wont be the same but they sure help fill the holes in life. blessing to you and husband. randi |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 10:50:03 AM
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| I am so sorry for your loss. Just like when we lose a friend or a family member we have to go through the grief. Right now it might be to early to think about another dog, but eventually you should consider it. Dogs give us so much enrichment in our lives and the love they give us is so precious. I would be lost without my dog. I think the best thing you guys can do is give each other love and support. |
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Tina Michelle
True Blue Farmgirl
6948 Posts
Tina
sunshine state
FL
USA
6948 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 10:59:20 AM
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it actually might help for both you and your husband to create a memory scrapbook together. Seriously..it might sound a bit strange..but it really is therapy..and can help in the healing process.
If you take the photos you have..sit together..look through them..cry and talk together and create a special memory album.
~Seize the Day! Live, Love, Laugh~ |
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jo Thompson
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jo
the mountainside of the Chugach
in Alaska
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 11:21:03 AM
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A RESCUE dog, my son just recued a purebred boxer that is just adorable and "grateful", she is approximately a year old, had been allowed to breed, puppies were lost and she was given to my son from a shelter. Her name is Molly, she is adorable. How many people become exhausted from the teenage years you have to go through with a dog. We have labs because we hunt, but I would take a rescue dog in a heartbeat for a pet......... Take your husband to a shelter to save the life of another dog......... jo
"friends don't let friends eat farmed salmon"
http://homepage.mac.com/thomja/Anchorage/PhotoAlbum14.html |
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Mumof3
True Blue Farmgirl
3890 Posts
Karin
Ellenwood
GA
USA
3890 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 12:53:27 PM
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Ashley- I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I love Tina's idea about a scrapbook. It will surely help to bring back the happy memories that you feel are out of reach at the moment.
Karin |
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Norma
Farmgirl in Training
45 Posts
Norma
Texarkana
AR
USA
45 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 1:24:26 PM
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Ashley, I send my deepest condolences on your family's loss. There is no hurt quite like this one. I, too, think the idea of a scrapbook of your baby will help. In time, the pain will ease, I promise. Nothing will ever replace that particular baby, but I wholeheartedly agree that finding you another baby is a great idea - for the puppy's sake, and for yours! I want to share with you a poem that my pet sitter sent to me when I lost a pet she'd cared for....
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....
Author unknown...
Blessings to you,
Norma |
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Woodswoman
True Blue Farmgirl
512 Posts
Jennifer
Altamont
NY
USA
512 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 3:49:41 PM
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Hi Ashlee,
I'm so sorry for your loss. When I lost my buddy Jackson a few years ago, I also made a scrapbook. I cried alot while I was doing it, but it felt good to look at all the pictures, etc. as I was doing it. I also made a little garden for him where I put his ashes and a pretty stone for a headstone.
A few months later, I started walking dogs at a local animal shelter. I wasn't ready for another dog yet, but it felt good to be with dogs, and to help out dogs that didn't have a real home. A few months after that, I adopted one of the dogs from the shelter that I got to to know while I was there (Zena). She is an older dog whose people brought her to the shelter when they got divorced. She is 11 now, 9 when I adopted her.
While doing all of those things did help, I think what helped most of all was time. I've gotten to the point where I can remember him with happiness and gratitude for our time together, and it just doesn't hurt the way it did at first.
Best wishes-my thoughts are with you.
Jennifer |
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Libbie
Farmgirl Connection Cultivator
3579 Posts
Anne E.
Elsinore
Utah
USA
3579 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 8:52:40 PM
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I'm so sorry to hear about your little guy, Ashley. That is so hard. More (((hugs))) from Utah.
XOXO, Libbie
"Nothing is worth more than this day." - Goethe |
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therusticcottage
True Blue Farmgirl
4439 Posts
Kay
Vancouver
WA
USA
4439 Posts |
Posted - Oct 17 2006 : 10:37:32 PM
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Ashley -- I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet doggie. It is so hard to lose an animal, they are like family members. You need to allow yourselves to grieve over this loss and when you feel ready, think about another dog. Sending you big hugs.
Handmade purses and bath delights at www.rusticcottagecreations.com |
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junebug
True Blue Farmgirl
2421 Posts
Sue
West Plains,
Mo.
USA
2421 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 04:55:57 AM
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Ashley, So sorry to hear of your loss, I know the pain all too well, but rest knowing you gave your dog a good home full of love. And I must agree with a rescue dog when the time comes. When we lost our beloved Bubba, our vet suggested rescuing a dog when we were ready. So I checked on the internet and after many searches for our breed of choice ( English Mastiff) I fell in love at first sight when I spotted Lou. He's eyes spoke to me, so we started the adoption process and soon we were on our way to Nashville to pick him up! No one wanted this dog that was labeled " trouble" but I knew he was meant to be ours. Lou has been the best medicine, he's such a big baby and makes our home happy again! Good luck!
www.herbalfarmstead.blogspot.com
www.countrypleasures.blogspot.com |
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ashcordes
True Blue Farmgirl
197 Posts
Ashley
Roann
IN
USA
197 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 05:27:39 AM
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| Thanks guys for all the hugs and sweet notes....I'm really thinking we're going to have to get a new dog sooner than I thought...my husband is having a really hard time with this...he goes out to his grave each night when he gets home and talks to him and he won't come to bed at night because he says he just lays there and thinks about the dog. I don't know what else to do for him besides getting him a new dog to transfer some of that love to. As I've never been in this situation before I just feel lost...I'm grieving as well but feel as though I have to put my grief aside so I can pull him through his. |
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Bluewrenn
True Blue Farmgirl
1122 Posts
Erin
Texas
USA
1122 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 07:23:31 AM
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My husband didn't want to see any pictures of his dog, or anything that reminded him of Fraser, but we did purchase a tree which we planted out in the yard in his honor - maybe that would help your husband (perhaps a dogwood?)
That said, I have pictures of Fraser which I am saving for later on... a few years from now, I'll make a collage and frame it or something like that, but for now, I'll just hang on to the photos and keep them safe.
My Homesteading Journal http://toomyvara.livejournal.com
My craft journal http://bluewrenn.livejournal.com
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jo Thompson
True Blue Farmgirl
603 Posts
Jo
the mountainside of the Chugach
in Alaska
USA
603 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 08:44:21 AM
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Erin, I got my lab Sophie for my then fiance who had a brain tumor...... she arrived two days after his funeral. She saved my life and went on to be a wonderful dog..... I don't think you need to wait. Just take your time when you're looking, it is a terrible thing to lose an animal or someone you love. You aren't replacing your other dog, no dog will, but that grief will have a place and home for that energy. I had a mini schnauzer that was hit by a car on christmas day when my ex-husband took her jogging without a leash! Her name was Elsa and she had just turned a year old, it was so, so hard. I thought I never loved a dog so much, but my lab Sophie is the light of my life.
It's good we love them so much.........
"friends don't let friends eat farmed salmon"
http://homepage.mac.com/thomja/Anchorage/PhotoAlbum14.html |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 10:16:31 AM
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If I could offer a bit of friendly advice, you might not want to rush out right away.
A friend did just this when she lost her dog, and this "replacement" was constantly being compared to the other dog. My friend's void was not filled the way she had anticipated.
I have to agree as well. Even 3 months later for us. And yes, we NEED another dog in the family, but I wonder even now what this other puppy will be like.
Just like with kids...each has their own personality and needs to be loved in the here and now. |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 11:29:28 AM
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Ashley,
Many condolences to you and your husband. When I lost my best friend three years ago, my wonderful vet gave me information about grief counseling for pet loss. I didn't take advantage of it, but I should have. Maybe if you check with a local vet, you could get some contact information.
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?" - 'Brother Dave' Gardner |
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westernhorse51
True Blue Farmgirl
1681 Posts
michele
farmingdale
n.j.
USA
1681 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 6:30:09 PM
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Ashley, I am so sorry about your dog. sending big warm hugs your way.
she selects wool and flax and works with eager hands Prov.31:13 |
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CabinCreek-Kentucky
True Blue Farmgirl
8529 Posts
Frannie
Green County
Kentucky
USA
8529 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2006 : 11:31:22 PM
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oh ashley honey .. i'm so sorry to hear about your little dog. gosh, we had BOO for about 15 years .. he just died of olde age complications .. but it was SUCH a sad loss .. and we often tell BOO stories and laugh. I don't really have any solutions for sadness other than to just remember the good times you did have with him. That's what we did. xoxo
True Friends, Frannie
CABIN CREEK FARM
KENTUCKY
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Past Blessings
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Brenda
Orchard Prairie
WA
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Oct 20 2006 : 11:10:56 PM
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I am so very sorry. We lost our two year old cat very suddenly to a liver disease this May. We were devastated and our 3 boys were a mess. We went to the local shelter and got a darling kitty that same day. It certainly didn't make us forget our sweet "Struedel" but the new kitten gave us things to smile about and brought sunshine in a dismal time. I still get sad thinking about Struedel, but the kitten, Truffle Extra Dark, has brought a new joy that really helped with our healing. Even our dog, Tilley, who thought she was Struedel's mom, was able to "love on" the new kitten, as was our 8 year old cat, Crumpet. To be able to celebrate a new life while mourning the passing on a loved one, seems to bring a sense of peace. I also think the scrapbook idea is fabulous. When the vet put Struedel to sleep, after we knew it was hopeless, they made an imprint of his paw in clay which we decorated and the kids will hang on our Christmas tree for years to come. Tears are healing, so don't be afraid to let them fall. Love and blessings to you! Brenda
Past Blessings . . . Celebrating Life as it used to be . . . when people loved God, loved their families and loved their country. |
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country lawyer
True Blue Farmgirl
1022 Posts
1022 Posts |
Posted - Oct 21 2006 : 11:30:07 AM
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Ashley, May you somehow, somewhere find peace and strength. It is so hard, I know. Many here are thinking of you...
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
James Taylor
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Across the Fence: Our doggy died this weekend |
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Our doggy died this weekend
