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Family Matters:  Leaving a Church,,,,  |
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hialtfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
72 Posts
Terri
WA.
USA
72 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 07 2012 : 8:19:08 PM
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Anyone else left a church and have a story to tell...We have and it is not very pretty....
"LOVING" life at 4000 feet elev. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Nov 07 2012 : 9:07:42 PM
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Yes... I do, Terri... But it's painful. I can't see very well right now, but will be better in a few days and will either post or email you then. Hang in there, sister. It's not easy, I know. We left a beloved church and church family to move on to a Church where we knew the Lord wanted us to go, and it was as painful as a divorce. Still can be at times. Hang in there - the Lord will direct your path. I'm here if you need me - always. Big hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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momof2jrt
True Blue Farmgirl
194 Posts
Denise
grafton
wv
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2012 : 04:54:58 AM
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| I have left a church before it is painful and you just need to pray for strength and know that you need to go where you will be fed. It is tough just ask for strength. |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2012 : 07:54:20 AM
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I have. We went to the same church my father was raised at until they went off the deep end and began preaching " new wave" things not in the Bible, so we left. We found a wonderful new church, but it was still hard. We adjusted in time, but it took awhile. We felt hat God had lead us to this new church and we are happy there. Thinking of you. Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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Amie C.
True Blue Farmgirl
2099 Posts
Finger Lakes Region
NY
2099 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2012 : 3:47:53 PM
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I usually just drift away with no fireworks. Haven't really been happy and comfortable in a church setting since high school, sadly. I miss it.
I do have one ugly story to tell, full of threats, innuendos, racism, a fire, a mafia hitman, embezzlement, negligence, and just plain meanness. But I don't like to break that one out unless people really want to hear it. It tends to clear a room.
I sure hope your recent experience wasn't that bad. But if it was, feel free to spill it. |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2012 : 5:02:57 PM
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I have....and feel so much the better for it too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy
(Formerly living in the Netherlands, but now I live in Thailand *__*)
http://pinkprincessinthailand.blogspot.com/ |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2012 : 5:37:07 PM
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My husband left his family church. It was dying and lost in wrong teaching and doctrine.
He lost respect for it when somebody kept calling him out for the translation of bible he was using. Which was NIV at the time. But he alternated between that and the Standard Revised. He ownes many translations. The church was (is) backwoods King James and that's all there will ever be.....accordring to them.
So he left, and the poor congregation is about 30 or less, and the sad chior sings like they are slogging through mud. It breaks my heart.
We now go to Southern Baptist that is more like where I came from up North- which is non denominational Church of Christ- or Christian Church. The current congregation runs 2 services, has a tremendous community outreach program and missions funding. It has a congregation of about 1,200 to my best guess, maybe more.
It's sad that choices have to be made like this. But you have to go where you are happiest and feel where you are being spiritually fed-most importantly. |
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hialtfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
72 Posts
Terri
WA.
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2012 : 6:30:36 PM
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WOW!!!! I thought i would open up a can of worms, but,,instead it was LOVE!!! Thank-you soooo VERY much....you will NEVER know how that has touched my heart...
You know. when your use to the opposite...WOW!!!
they(our other church) said they loved us, but, where were they when my husband died and came back, where were they when I begged for them to help me, where were they when I was so alone and told them so...the list goes on and on....2 of our 6 children ar still in it...and now treat us with somewhat disgust/awkwardness....
I know I have to forgive according to The Word Of God...BUT!!!>>>>I dont know if I can,...it always crops up you may email me if you would like...
woodnshovel53@gmail.com
"LOVING" life at 4000 feet..."LOVE" is a very splendid thing... |
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Catherine L
True Blue Farmgirl
408 Posts
Cathy
Newton
Texas
USA
408 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2012 : 10:31:54 AM
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We have left a couple of churches through the years, both were negative situations. One was a church in which we had been members for twenty years. What I learned from it was #1 keep forgiving them and if you don't feel like it ask the Lord to help you want to forgive. #2 I had to realize my relationship with the people wasn't my relationship with the Lord. I had to keep the two separate. #3 Time will heal.
~Cathy~
Farmgirl 2428 http://www.my-fairhaven.blogspot.com/
http://adaywithnonnaandboompa.blogspot.com/ |
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hialtfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
72 Posts
Terri
WA.
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2012 : 4:43:32 PM
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Thanks Cathy....those are very healing words....
"LOVING" life at 4000 feet..."LOVE" is a very splendid thing... |
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musicmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
430 Posts
Wendy
Oregon
USA
430 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2012 : 7:57:17 PM
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My dad is a pastor and I worked in a church for years and years. It took some time to work up the gumption, but we not only left a church, we left a denomination. It was hard. Honestly, I feel like I went through a grieving process of sorts. We ended up in a church that many who have been hurt have found healing though. It is hard, but I've always believed that there isn't one church for everyone. You really have to find the one that best speaks to you. Feel free to pm me if you feel like talking more.
One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.
Bob Marley
www.becomingwendy.wordpress.com |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2012 : 1:27:36 PM
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I left a church back in 1994 and it was one of the hardest things i've ever done. In a nutshell, the devil came to that church and fooled a lot of people, and the devil won. I knew something was wrong when I had a "vision" of standing in the narthex, looking out through some glass doors, which were padlocked, and Jesus was standing ouside and couldn't get in. The look on his face was indescribable. I ended up in the hospital when I realized what was happening and no one would come to see me. I haven't felt safe in a church since then, and I've tried going to different churches. I guess what I've learned from it is put your trust in God, and not churches. Just God alone.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13779 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13779 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2012 : 6:08:13 PM
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Oh Terri! Oh my! Oh me! Yes, we have left a church, more than one and it is one of the MOST GRIEVOUS things on this planet to do!
I can't go into specifics, but I can tell you I have had my heart ripped out, my bones stripped and the most unspeakable things said and done. Words fail me to describe the pain, hurt, grief and . . . well, just being on my knees in grief asking God to give me some peace, some healing!
Through all the horrible things I can say that my HOPE has ALWAYS been in the Lord. He has been there to carry me through, to comfort, strength, guide and reassure me that I am HIS CHILD and that HE has not forsaken me. My relationship with the Lord has NEVER waivered or faltered! And, I have never "blamed" God or been angry at Him for one iota of all the struggles. EVER PRESENT LOVE and STRENGTH!
Some of the most AWFUL and UGLY things have taken place in churches!
I hear ya, girlfriend!
PRAYING FOR YOU!
CJ
..from the barefoot farmgirl in SW Colorado...sister chick #665.
2010 Farmgirl Sister of the Year
Mother Hen: FARMGIRLS SOUTHWEST HENHOUSE
living life - www.snippetscja.blogspot.com
from my hands - www.cjscreations-ceejay.blogspot.com
the "Purple Thistle" http://www.ceejay48.etsy.com
from my heart - www.fromacelticheart.blogspot.com
from my hubby - www.aspenforge.blogspot.com |
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2012 : 02:11:50 AM
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it can be painful for a long while. I hope you feel comfortable soon and that your choice brings you peace.
Marianne |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2012 : 1:36:35 PM
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Yes, I've left a church before (I think it happens more than people like to talk about) and it is always painful to do so, but you have to go where you feel you are being fed. Hugs to you. Things will get better every day!
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com
www.amydingmann.com |
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alterationsbyemily
True Blue Farmgirl
697 Posts
Emily
Chambersburg
PA
USA
697 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2012 : 05:21:34 AM
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I love this topic, many people don't share too many details about leaving church, other than a move.
Well growing up I went to the same church as my mom and dad and bullying within the classes was horrible. I found my self skipping sunday school because of the other kids. The ladies of the church were divided and would not speak to my family because we were not picking a group to be with. Oddly we were very loyal to this church and were members for 17 years. Even after moving I could not move churches and would travel hours, to never be spoken to. Then the pastor up and left, that was it, left the church high and dry in so many ways. I thought, I had been this loyal to a pastor that just dumped a congregation? So we found a church near us that is amazing and they have embraced us. We were so astonished that church could be so wonderful and we miss them so much when we don't go.
Church is only a building, it is the people and the leaders that can really build it or take it down.
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Farmgirl #2951
2012 Farmgirl of the Year
http://simpileeliving.blogspot.com/
And my new Etsy listings http://www.etsy.com/shop/alterationsbyemily |
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Bonnie Ellis
True Blue Farmgirl
2474 Posts
Bonnie
Minneapolis
Minnesota
USA
2474 Posts |
Posted - Nov 19 2012 : 06:03:55 AM
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Terri: Our church closed after 87 years. DH and I searched for a Bible based church. What a great feeling. We went through grieving too. Trust God and follow Him. You will find healing and love. God Bless You.
grandmother and orphan farmgirl |
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hialtfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
72 Posts
Terri
WA.
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2012 : 03:06:44 AM
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How can I say what is in my heart to all of you.....such kind words and I feel so inadequate...MANY MANY THANKS!!!
The saga continues...we met with 2 other families that are going through what we went through and they are still attending there in hopes that things will change...it was a good visit and meal, but, they said they thought we would return...maybe ...maybe not..,ONLY if we see that God in His omnipotence is leading us and we are positively sure that is what HE wants...just the thought right now about sends me over the edge. ...this church is generational, has cultish attributes and that is scarry to me....very strict in what to wear, do, read, have, own and the like...acctually ladies it petrifies me to think aobut going anywhere near it... the sad thing is that our 4 Grandchildren are there(this is our only daughter of 6 children and it GREATLY disrupts our hearts) ...keep us in your hearts and Prayers PLEASE...I think I am to the point that I realize(as my dh says)...they cannot give what they dont have...if its not in their hearts truly they dont have it to give....the craziness of leaving is gone and I almost feel sane....THANKS again for all of your support...
"LOVING" life at 4000 feet..."LOVE" is a very splendid thing... |
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longbeachfox
True Blue Farmgirl
322 Posts
Mary
Long Beach
WA
USA
322 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2012 : 11:07:00 AM
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The only time we have left a church, but one, was when we moved. Those were always sad. The only time we did leave, we left with about half our church. I really don't want to go into it. BUT...God told us to go back! Now that was a hard one. After a month away, we came back and I can honestly say that the room was so cold. We started out in adult Sunday School. It is always a fun time in there, but that day it was sooooo quiet. Inside I just wanted to creep out the door. We stayed and each week got better and better and now it feels like we never left. I am sad because I miss the other half who left, but also I can see God doing great things in our little church. God wants us to be obedient. I do know that. Leaving a church is a hard decision to make, but if God tells you to go back...you do need to listen. I'm thankful we did.
Farmgirl # 2532
With God...Nothing Is Impossible!
http://foxontherunarts.blogspot.com
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hialtfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
72 Posts
Terri
WA.
USA
72 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2012 : 7:39:54 PM
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Mary...funny you say that....I think I said that in my last post....SCARRY though !!!
THANKS!!! A great big farmgirl hug to all of you that posted....
"LOVING" life at 4000 feet..."LOVE" is a very splenderd thing... |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2012 : 4:55:56 PM
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Recently found out that the preacher of my old church in Ohio has retired and is being replaced by a younger fella.
It must be a sign of the times, because according to our friends back home of 30+ years, this new guy has "slightly" longer hair than normal....and tattoos!!! REALLY!? But he passes muster almost unaninomusly with only slight objection from some of the older contigency. His preaching is rock solid with that of the church and biblical teaching. So I'm kind of excited to make a trek back home to Cincinnati some day and hear this guy.
Incidentally- the preacher who left helped bring the congregation up from 400 to nearly 3,000! So they must be doing something right! but remember this is big city too that used to be mostly rural
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Nov 25 2012 : 2:46:12 PM
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Well, having tattoos should never keep a person from going to church.Nor should long hair. Nor should a person be judged by them. I went to church yesterday evening and the guy in front of me was wearing a Harley Davidson jacket and had tattoos. I've been judged by people in church and I used to wonder "If they only knew the truth". Now it doesn't bother me so much. We're all God's children and we all need a place for refuge. that's what church should be, but sadly, often it's not. Church should be a place of spiritual refreshment and inspiration. It should embolden us to face a world that often seems hell-bent on destroying our faith. I had to leave a church once because the actions of people in the church were causing me to question everything I knew about God. Still don't know all the answers, but that's OK. I know Jesus will never lie to me, even if people do.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2012 : 04:01:47 AM
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I agree, and there are enough "young people" in that church now. So the vote passes almost unamously.
I have a feeling the much older crowd may have had some objection, but you can almost guarantee it was becasue of outward appearance- not doctrine |
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Family Matters: Leaving a Church,,,, |
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Leaving a Church,,,,
