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Family Matters:  My hero broke my heart. Update 2/13/13  |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 13 2012 : 2:29:55 PM
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Update on the drama. I called APS and when I couldn't get through to them, I called the sheriff's office. Thankfully I know the sheriff in that county personally. I explained everything to him and he called the head of APS who when called me back. My brother and I have an attorney now as well. My brother sorta of 'threatened' my mother - not with violence more like "You had better do what you're supposed to be doing or else" kinda threat. She finally got off her butt and called a nursing home. He had his first interview with them this week.
My attorney says not to worry about being accused of taking things if I am not doing it. He said I should still go see my grandpa if I want. By the way - my brother found all the papers my husband and I were accused of taking. They were all in the house. I did go visit my grandpa on the December 8 and tried to take him to the doctor, but he just won't go. He told me he was ready to die. He wanted me to take him to the mortuary. I laughed and told him that something else had to happen before I could do that. I also told him if he was ready to 'go home' then he should go - not to worry about us. I told him grandmother was waiting for him. He then looked at me funny and asked if she was in town this weekend. (she's been gone for 30 years) I couldn't help but laugh a little. In the next moment, he knew who my son was and asked if he was ready for his Christmas vacation from school. The whole afternoon was like that - what a roller coaster ride of emotions!
I also found a copy of his will out on the desk. He said I could read it so I did. We cannot challenge anything in it because there is a section that says if anyone challenges it, then that person loses everything that was left to them. I have a feeling that was my mother's doing. Not much else I can do.
Also I talked with the APS guy and after telling him about my mother's house and mental state - he told me to wait until my grandfather passed then deal with her issues. He said there wasn't really anything we could do right now anyway because she was still able to get around, go shopping and so forth. I asked about our responsibility to her and he said since we reported it we would not be held liable if anything happened to her. I guess I can breath a little easier, but I still can't relax.
My brother has developed pneumonia and after reviewing the chest x-ray, the doctor saw a mass that has him concerned. My brother has to go in for a scan to make sure it isn't cancerous. I am hoping it is just the illness causing it and it will go away.
On a good note - I am spending Christmas with my dad for the first time in 25 years. I have really hit it off with my step-mother too. I really like her, she's so funny. We've spent hours chatting on FB - it's crazy. I guess the third time (his 3rd wife) is the charm.
Lora
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com
www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Jan 08 2013 : 08:05:41 AM
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She's at it again. My brother and I backed off a bit when we thought she was going to step up and do what was right. Then she flipped. She had made him an appointment to see a doctor, but then cancelled it the day before and didn't tell us until way later. My brother and I have decided to go ahead with the guardianship process even though neither of us can afford it. Hopefully the attorney will work with us on payments. I am waiting to hear back from the attorney. I am a bit nervous though - you know how they say deaths happen in three's? Well my elderly great aunt passed away yesterday and I went to the funeral for the sister of a friend a few days ago.
Lora
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com
www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22943 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22943 Posts |
Posted - Jan 12 2013 : 05:34:39 AM
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Oh Lora! I am so sorry to hear that things haven't gotten better. My heart breaks for you and your grandfather. *hugs* Just handle one thing at a time. That's all you really can do!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wff7Xpc/] [/url]
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Jan 15 2013 : 11:39:19 AM
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Lora prayers to you and your brother. Glad things are going well for you and father and step mom. Take a deep breath and deal with one thing at a time. Put the rest in God's hands.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Jan 16 2013 : 08:44:27 AM
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I filed yesterday for guardianship of my grandfather. Boy was my mother mad! She called my brother after my attorney called her. She wanted to know if he knew and why. He told her that 'we' filed and that it was because he felt grandpa wasn't being cared for properly. He was trying to get some of the heat off of me. She said "Well, just let her take care of it all then." He told that was what we were hoping for. We have a hearing on Friday at 1 pm with a judge. I just wonder if she'll even show up after that comment.
Send prayers this way that it goes in our favor, please!
Lora
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com
www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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cj6
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
cj
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - Jan 17 2013 : 11:10:58 PM
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| Lora,I just saw all of this and have read through each reply. My heartbreaks for you and your brother,as well as your Grandpa for all that is happening.You do what you need to for your beloved Grandpa and for your brother...praying that what they found is nothing bad and that all of this works out the way it should. Hugs <3 |
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Emily Anna
True Blue Farmgirl
863 Posts
Emily
Fort Atkinson
WI
USA
863 Posts |
Posted - Jan 18 2013 : 08:05:53 AM
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Lora,
Somehow I haven't kept up with this thread and am just now getting caught up. I know this is a tough situation for you, but I am so glad you have your brother to work with! I was also glad to hear that you are in contact with your dad again and that you and your MIL get along so well!! I will keep you in my prayers that everything goes smoothly with transitioning into guardianship for your grandfather! Please let us know what happens with your brother and the results of his scan. Will be keeping him in my prayers as well!
Emily |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Jan 19 2013 : 12:32:03 PM
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Well, the hearing didn't go so well. The judge wanted to give 'her' a chance to take him to the doctor. Her attorney told the judge that my grandfather was just a "96 year old man that wanted to be left alone." His words. And the judge bought it. The witch then drove straight out to my grandpa's house and told him that my brother and I were trying to get all of his money away from him. That is SO not true. I've told him countless times that I didn't want his money, my brother has told him the same thing. If he leaves it to us great - if not that's fine. It's his money, he earned it. Do what he wants. My brother and I are going to go see him tomorrow and try to undo the damage she did yesterday. Sickening.
Lora
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com
www.farmallchick.blogspot.com
www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Jan 21 2013 : 07:35:53 AM
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Spent 3 1/2 hours with Grandpa on Sunday. We video recorded the almost the whole visit. We now have it recorded that he thinks he made a mistake making his daughter (our mother) POA. We just have to get the video to the attorney and then to the judge. He said it more than once, too.
His cousin came to drop of 3 slices of lunch meat and 3 slices of cheese, a pkg of Oreos, some Ritz crackers and some other cookies. He got really nasty with my husband, who was outside smoking. He left, then came back and dropped off the food. He was so rude to me when he came in the house, my brother was going to ask what his problem was, but I told him to let it go. He's only heard our mother's side of things. He'll find out soon enough what a liar she is.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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BarnHeart
True Blue Farmgirl
83 Posts
Autumn
New Albany
IN
USA
83 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2013 : 2:49:40 PM
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Oh Lora - I have read the whole thread and my heart breaks for you and your situation. I hope the video works out in your favor and that this mess gets straightened out. Family feuds always seem to hurt the worst. Hugs, sister.
I love wool! Visit my website at www.heartfeltwool.com to see my creations! |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Feb 05 2013 : 10:25:48 AM
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Things are not going so well. My psycho mother has my grandfather convinced that I am trying to take the farm. Not true! My brother just talked to my grandfather and the poor man thinks he appeared before a prosecuting attorney on Saturday. As far as I know the prosecutor has never been involved. It is just between two private attorneys and us. He told my brother I had no spine because I didn't show up for the hearing as well. Like I said, the only hearing was on January 18 and I WAS there. He has not been to the doctor yet and said he has quit eating because he doesn't know what to eat. He said all he does is sleep because he cut the cord off of his t.v.. He thought it was making a weird noise.
I have called my attorney's office to find out what we do next and what happens to her if she doesn't take him to the doctor. I am so angry at her it is unspeakable what I am thinking about her right now. Forgiveness is NOT an option.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Feb 06 2013 : 6:16:43 PM
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Lora, you will not want to hear this, but my experiences impel me to say this--
Stop..
You said in your first post that your family has been through a lot recently. You need to stop and gather back your strength. Your family is your husband and son. You need to focus on them. You are blessed with a brother who also understands.
You are grieving for your grandfather who is not the man of your childhood. No amount of arguments and legal proceedings will bring that back. He probably does not see you as an adult. At age 96, he is most likely ready to go.
You will not fail if you stop. You have tried, and your contact with a lawyer has established the honor in your intentions. Regarding your mother, leave her to her ill gotten gains and let her live with her actions. Karma can bite back.
Relax, try to un-stress yourself and concentrate your time, efforts and emotions on the people under your roof. |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4814 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4814 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2013 : 06:33:49 AM
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I agree completely with Rosemary. Time to walk away and focus on you & your family. Hard, very hard, to do, but it really is for the best.
You are in my prayers.
Dawn in IL |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Feb 07 2013 : 1:55:00 PM
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Thank you. My brother talked to Grandpa 2 days ago.He is still not eating. I know he is ready to go home, I just wanted to make sure he went with dignity. I have accepted that he's going to die. I've known for a long time. I just didn't want him to die in pain or filth. He deserves more than that. My gut is telling me he will pass before the end of this month, but my brother things he will last longer than that.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
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FARMALLChick
True Blue Farmgirl
978 Posts
Lora
Alexandria
IN
USA
978 Posts |
Posted - Feb 13 2013 : 11:11:49 AM
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I just rec'd an email from my attorney with the doctor's report attached. Doctor says right there in black and white "He needs care." He was down 40 lbs and his blood pressure was 167/107. Mr. Attorney contacted 'her' attorney and asked about 'her' plans for getting him care. We are waiting for a response.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway" -John Wayne
www.CountryFriedAcres.etsy.com www.farmallchick.blogspot.com www.farmallchickphotos.blogspot.com |
Edited by - FARMALLChick on Feb 13 2013 11:14:14 AM |
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Family Matters: My hero broke my heart. Update 2/13/13 |
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My hero broke my heart. Update 2/13/13
