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Parenting & Farm Kids:  "NO NO NO!!!! I don't WANT Corn Bacall!"  |
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 04 2012 : 09:55:55 AM
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Jonni what ever it is that you cook that she wont eat pull it out in the middle of the night heat it up and give it to her then. When you feed it to the dogs she is still winning in that she is not able to eat what you put in front of her.
Stick to your decision it only takes 21 days to change a behavior.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2012 : 1:22:13 PM
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I'll try that Diana. It just seems all so darn pig headed. Especially when, on Saturday, we stopped at our local Kroger Marketplace like we do each and every Saturday and when winding through the deli where they have all the "goodies" and they were pushing stuff for labor day picnics, she took a BBQ SPARERIB on a toothpick from a total stranger and ate the whole darn thing in front of me, exclaiming, "mmmmm, this is delicious!", I KNOW she can try things!!!! It's like she's just doing it to rile me up.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2012 : 6:13:45 PM
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Jonni- You are being an awesome mom! Keep up the good work! Nora was never this difficult about food but I think you are on the right track. The fact that she is willing to eat more variety with her other family members and out on the town is really interesting. I am right there with you- it sounds like she is doing to get a reaction and because she figures she is going to get the upper hand. Good luck!!! *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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Red Tractor Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
6601 Posts
Winnie
Gainesville
Fl
USA
6601 Posts |
Posted - Sep 05 2012 : 5:11:49 PM
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Jonni~ I agree with others to just stick to your plan for another few weeks. However,after that if you still find there is a battle, I would suggest a call to the Pediatrician for a referral for some counseling. There just may be some other things that are not apparent behind this huge struggle that you would benefit from getting help with. This is consuming your time,emotional energy, and apparently, you aren't making any progress. Instaed of thinking it is 100% stubborn, perhaps an eval from a counselor who specializes with children can help you with both strategy and support. You don't want to set up Violet at this young age with an eating disorder which could become serious in her teens. I think as parents we want to do the right thing and sometimes we need help with how to do just that. Most insurance plans do cover a limited number of visits. Most likely you won't need a lot of help, but don't be afraid to reach out. It is not a relection on your love and parenting. If Violet had some other issue, you would not think twice about calling for help and an evaluation. The same is true with emotional well being. Good Luck!
Winnie #3109
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2012 : 08:03:42 AM
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I also vote for reheating her plate in the night. And sticking it out a while longer. It will work. ;o) You're doing great.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Sep 10 2012 : 2:26:57 PM
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Stay tuff mama, you WILL win...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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SarahJ
True Blue Farmgirl
198 Posts
Shreveport
Louisiana
198 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 07:12:58 AM
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Jonni, you have to stick it out. From what you've described, this is a power struggle, and she can sense that she has you on the ropes. You are not a terrible parent, and she will continue to use every trick she can to guilt you into wavering. I know that sounds harsh, but the simple fact that she'll eat everywhere else but at home tells me it IS a control issue, and not a genuine food issue. If I were a betting woman, I'd say that she will eventually start eating, but what will happen is that she'll go through the motions of throwing the fit, but then expect you to reheat the food...oh right about bedtime (or any other time she has to do something she doesn't want to do). If she can't control what she's eating, then she will probably start trying to control WHEN she eats. That may be why she is getting so angry when you give it to the dog. That takes her "bargaining power" off the table.
Right now, I firmly believe it's a test of wills, and you have to show her that all the theatrics in the world will not make you change the rules. **and I want to reiterate that my opinion is based on the fact that she will eat elsewhere or for others/strangers; if she wasn't eating anything, ever, then it would be a different matter**
SarahJ
Farmgirl Sister #116
http://bayoumama.wordpress.com/ |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 07:32:37 AM
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I agree there's a control issue, Sarah (et al). I'm trying not to get really frustrated (and I did a few days ago and I've since backed off because, frankly, I just lost my cool  ) I don't like to do that (which is my OWN control issue) but after so long of doing this and wasting a meal each and every time, then having her wake us up all hours of the night because "her belly is growling", I just want to ring her neck (and lack of sleep doesn't aid the way I'm feeling).
She is just a really difficult child--but only in this. It's like she's some Soviet strategist or something. I feel like she's outsmarted me before I even get the food on the table, so I'm feeling pretty low about my whole experiment.
You can well imagine that I'm divided between excitement and sheer madness when she eats something outside of our house. We visited friends one night and said, "don't be offended if she won't eat what you make--do NOT tailor anything for her..." because their 4 year old eats really well, whatever is put in front of her. Our child at every single bit of that meal. I thought we were over the hump, but at our house, she did the same old drama. Squints her eyes, puts her hands up over her face, crosses her arms and harrumphs. It's just so tiring.
I'm gonna keep at it. We go on vacation this weekend and I was hoping to have licked it so I wouldn't have this stress in front of other family members who haven't seen her since she was little, but it looks like I'm gonna have it.
Thanks for the support, girls. It's been incredibly challenging to feel like I'm making any headway what so ever.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 2:00:45 PM
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Don't worry about the other family members, if they say anything negative, either they are stupid or never raised children, I'm blessed (sarcastically said here) with a mil who is both! *rolls eyes* She only had one child, my husband, who she left with her inlaws and never came back for till he was in high school, but she is FULL of parenting advice.....hmph! I just let it go in one ear and out the other. There's a scripture that says there is nothing new under the sun. Kids have been doing these kinds of things forever, and any one who acts or says differently either hasn't raised a child, or was blessed with one of the unusual kids, I know I was one of the unusual kids who loved veggies, and usually did what I was told, etc etc, my cousins said they were in for a rude awakening when they had their own children after baby sitting me as a child....I have just came to the conclusion if some one looks at me crossed, they are dumb or never raised a child and let it go...like water off a ducks back. Just focus on your child and mate, and let the others go on with their own stupidity....but don't stress that your child/mate/you aren't perfect before the other family members, if they are worth anything at all they will understand and know it's just kid stuff and you're doing your best and things will eventually work out.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 4:11:13 PM
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Testing your will is what kids do best. I had to laugh though, early this summer, when grandson came for a visit.
I told him to put his long pants (blue jeans) and hard tennis shoes on before taking a ride on the Gator with me through the orchard. He didn't want to change. "OK", I said. "Get in"
As we drove through the orchard a long blackberry bramble reached out and caught his leg. It didn't draw any blood, so no serious injury. But he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and said, "You did that just to teach me a lesson!" "No," I answered, "it was an accident. But did you learn anything?" He pouted all the way home, but the next day he got up and put on his jeans.....
Natural consequences teach kids as much as the lessons we try to teach them.
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blogs at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com (farming) http://brightmeadowknits.blogspot.com (knitting) or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 4:31:18 PM
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Any of you child psychology experts know if the little tyke would be psychologically harmed if you just didn't set a place for her at mealtime? Then if she notices, explain that you understand how hard it is for her to eat the dinner you prepare, and that it makes you so sad when you work hard to prepare her favorite meals that she won't eat, and you don't like all those sad feelings, so you thought you would just skip it? Just to see what her reaction is. If she really begs to eat, then let her get out her place setting. Just do it very casually without a lot of drama.
I know I have a devious mind. No wonder my children say they are scarred for life by all the things I did to them.
Come to think of it though, I have a similar issue with my grandsons. My husband loves pie, so he gets the boys all psyched up to help grandma make an apple pie. They love to help roll out the dough and fill the pie, but they really don't like pie at all. They'll take a serving, take one bite, and then they're off to play with their toys. I've learned to cut their pieces really small.
I figure they really want the togetherness more than the food. They want to take part in the family project and make Grandpa happy. Probably when they're in their twenties and come to visit I'll have to bake a lot of pies, by then they might like them. But now it is way more about the process than the nutrition....
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blogs at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com (farming) http://brightmeadowknits.blogspot.com (knitting) or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
Edited by - brightmeadow on Sep 11 2012 4:35:32 PM |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 5:44:27 PM
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Jonni- It might be an only kid thing- but Nora picks at her food here- she knows she gets what she gets but that's it. But by other kids she eats like she has been at a starvation camp.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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22angel
True Blue Farmgirl
498 Posts
Pam
Manitoba
Canada
498 Posts |
Posted - Sep 11 2012 : 7:59:42 PM
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Brenda, that just may work! I don't have kids of my own, but I remember that one time, my sister & I wouldn't clean our room, so Mom threw all of our stuff out the window, because she had threatened to do so. I think we were older by then, but same idea. I don't think it would cause any harm, and it may help out! Good luck Jonni!
Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself.
"When I grow up, I want to be dirt." seen on a box through construction in Wyoming 2010 |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: "NO NO NO!!!! I don't WANT Corn Bacall!" |
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"NO NO NO!!!! I don't WANT Corn Bacall!"
