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Off the Grid/Homesteading Skills:  Take In Someone Else's Child  |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 12:19:13 AM
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Could you? Would you?
To me, this is part of preparedness. Not everyone will think of this. Have you? What are your thoughts? Any advice.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 06:31:58 AM
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Yes. I don't care what the Mister says.
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 08:17:44 AM
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You mean temporarily or in an emergency? I have adopted 4 of my kids through foster care and I still feel like YES I would do it all over again. I always have room for more kids.
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
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forgetmenot
True Blue Farmgirl
3602 Posts
Judith
Nora Springs
IA
USA
3602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 09:30:49 AM
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Someone took me in..of course, I would have to take in a child.
Farmgirl sister #3926
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 09:58:54 AM
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My parents raised lots of foster kids and a few that they took from abusive parents without foster cares help. Many of them I still talk to and call my sisters and brothers.
Hubby and I took in a friend of my oldest DD after her dad died for nearly a year.
I would in a heartbeat agian.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 1:14:33 PM
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without even thinking about it, and the rest of the family also if they need shelter and food...for as long as need be...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 1:47:51 PM
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Definitely! We fostered and we've always taken in friends and family when they've needed help. It has opened up our hearts and lives in ways we could never have imagined. Our lives are more full and our family is so much bigger than we ever dreamed possible. We are very grateful! What questions do you have, Julie? Maybe more specific answers would be helpful to you! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Apr 10 2012 : 7:07:00 PM
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In a heartbeat.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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N@n
True Blue Farmgirl
223 Posts
Hackett
Arkansas
USA
223 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2012 : 06:02:23 AM
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The need for foster homes is so great right now. If anyone can open their homes to children that need a safe place to live, please pursue it. We have done so in the past but due to age and health problems are no longer able to. It is such important work to do. Contact your local DHS and get qualified if you feel led to do so. These children are much in need of a good example and you could fill a huge void in their lives. Sometimes these kids are amazed that they get to take a bath every day or that there is food always available for them to eat. It breaks your heart to know that so many children are without the basics for life, let alone a safe, loving home. Please consider opening your home. You will be blessed.
keep searchin'-it's out there somewhere. |
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pennyhenny
True Blue Farmgirl
304 Posts
Missy
Dayton
OH
USA
304 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2012 : 07:16:38 AM
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Yes YES YES YES YES YES.
hugs,
-missy-
http://citychickblogging.blogspot.com/
Sisterhood Member#4003
Happiness held is the seed; Happiness shared is the flower.
John Harrigan |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2012 : 10:51:46 AM
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Growing up in an ophorage I know what its like to feel like you belong no where, being placed in foster homes where they don't really want you but do it for the money & get rid of you just cause they can...its a threat you never get over so I would say yes I would help out anyway i can with a child or children who are in need.....plus now that I am older my nerves can withstand all the craziness of kids.....i used to be a teacher to At Risk high school kids & I loved it since i understood them better than alot of the teachers did who had normal lives growing up........If any disaster occurred here in this town I wouldn't think twice about pulling in kids who need a safe, secure place to be & to have love for as long as they needed it........plus my home is so low key they would never feel that threat of not belonging.........Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622
http://theoldbatzfarm.blogger.com |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Apr 11 2012 : 5:17:58 PM
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My parents never legally fostered children. There were 4 or 5 kids that my parents took in because the parents were having trouble with them or they were abandoned as teenagers. Yes, I would but there would be house rules as there is with my son. They could go back to their parents homes at anytime. Their parents would still have say over their children. I would never go through the state to foster children. I know of a 3y/o that had been through 10 foster homes in his short life. How fair is that to a child? All politics aside, every child does deserve a chance. If I can make another childs life better I will but it will be on the agreement with my husband, the childs parent(s) and the child.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2012 : 05:52:27 AM
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Lorena I sure understand what you are saying & agree it must be something the whole family is willing to do...one thing you stated that hurt me was that a poor 3 yr old had had 10 foster homes...thats just so sad....the problem with foster homes is alot of people want the idea of having/helping a child but then the problems start & they can't cope with it & the foster care system doesn't know or want to deal with the problem child so they just move it over & over hoping someone will work with the child.......So many have good hearts but never realize the child/baby they are getting may be bi-polar,ADD, drug addicted baby,damaged from beatings or mental abuse, or has been ignored its whole life so the child acts out sometimes very dangerously.......& have never learned to bond with anyone......the foster care system alot of times will not tell the new parents all the facts to prepare them or how to work with that child so it creates a awful start for them & the child......So many just give up not realizing what it is doing to the child & that creates more problems for the child in the next home & next home until no one wants that child & they become throw away children in a sense.....I went thur 3 foster homes...1st family was a mental ill woman & husband who should have never gotten foster kids in the 1st place....She had been raped, beaten & left for dead in her early 20's & was never the same after but they allowed her to be a foster parent...the 2nd one the foster mother got double breast cancer & I had to leave within 6 months...now they were good people & for me it was hard to go but I understood since my mother had died of breast cancer.....my 3rd & last one was a couple with 2 grade school kids of their own & they were in their early 30's & had no idea what to do with a moody 14 yr old who lived in fear of being sent away again.......but they figured out I needed help & pushed the foster care system to help me...I was put on anti-depressants which helped alot but at that time they didn't know about bi-polar so no one knew how to help me with my anger but they at least tried instead of dumping me...there was times i put them thur hell but they really tried to be good parents & now in my 50's I am thankful they fought to help me........Its a shame when a caseworker has a caseload of 100 or more kids & can't find the time to help them all the way they want to...until the system gets it together & helps the caseworkers this type of moving will continue & we will have more kids out there angry, depressed & feeling like no one cares....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622
http://theoldbatzfarm.blogger.com |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2012 : 06:13:32 AM
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Oh, Michele. I couldn't imagine what you've been through or anyone else in your position for that matter. I'm glad that your last home was more positive and that you've gotten the help you needed. I do understand that there are other things going on when a family brings in another child, like you described. It just seems like society (in general and no person in particular because there are good people out there who love their children and would never abandon them) wants the easy way out of things and when things get tough, they run and hide and cry "well what about me" instead of standing up for what is right regardless of the severity of the situation and their own selfishness. It angers me that this society has become a throw away society. Throw away your marriage if it's tough (abuse is a different matter), throw away your child if he/she becomes unruley, throw away your job if the boss is breathing down your neck or it doesn't pay enough, along with the attitude "Oh the government will take care of the problem." That's not the govenrments job. No, I'm not foolish. Yes there are those who absolutely cannot take care of themselve. I'm not blind. But it's about time adults started acting like adults and not teenagers. Sorry for the rant. If I offended anyone, I apologize for that too. It just hurts to see this take place and other than jumping through senseless government hoops, there is not much that a person can do. You know, my sister and brother in law would make excellent parents. The state of S. Dakota will not let them adopt because of my BIL's age (he's currently in his 50's my sister just turned 40). He was in his mid 40's when they looked into it and they weren't about to go through foster care because of the gov. hoops. My youngest brother also looked into adoption when he was married, but for what ever reason, he and his wife at the time were also denied. Sickens me what a person has to go through to take care of the children that need homes.
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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GirlwithHook
True Blue Farmgirl
922 Posts
Alyce
Madison
WI
USA
922 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2012 : 09:15:49 AM
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Michele, I have to say I am in awe of you for surviving so well. I am glad you at last found a good family!
A hook, a book, and a good cup of coffee.... |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 12 2012 : 10:35:42 AM
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It cost more money, but my parents adopted from Haiti. The last two they adopted were older children (6 and 8 at adoption), and my parents were in their 50's. It's a tougher row to hoe, as being older they had been subjected to more abuse then younger children had, and harder to learn english at their ages but its been worth it.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Apr 13 2012 : 11:10:33 AM
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Lorena you hit so much right on the button...if gov't would butt out of a lot of it things could go smoother i think....The Foster care system has been a mess for decades but no one knows how to fix it...The case workers come in to it wanting to do what is right but then they get their hands tied & get so many cases they are mentally crazy over it all...back in 1970 when my mother died, my caseworker had 100 cases she had to deal with...now how in the h*ll do you help that many children each week or day or even month?...many of us were in the orphanage so she could at least see many of us then but others she had to travel all over the county to check into...back then not everyone had phones so it took a day to just go see one......Plus I will tell you even if you are in a bad home, you will keep your mouth shut over the abuse you are getting because you don't want to be dumped again & hope eventually you will be loved by the foster parents.....back then physical abuse was common cause there was no laws that stated you couldn't punish a child...so i can tell you from experience being beaten was better than being shipped off again......I always wanted to be a foster mom but with my mental back ground I was never considered but i knew first hand what could work with alot of the At Risk kids & kids no one wanted cause they were too old...people still to this day want the babies in foster care not the school age kids....I can understand that cause the older kids have issues most have no idea how to handle or where to turn......My own son is bi-polar so I go to raise a child that was like me & I will tell you it was tough at times especially when he became violent...I can see why foster parents would be too scare to keep them in the house or want to raise them...especially while the docs are trying to figure out which meds will work for them......It took the docs over 4 yrs just to find a med that I wasn't allergic to & could live with.....& I was in my 40's!...can you image what that would do to a child being on all those different drugs where their brains aren't working like they should?.....thank goodness i got it with my son & what he was going thur with some of the drugs....but even ADD kids have to go thur this til they find a good fit on the meds for the kids...they labeled my son ADD as well & come to find out he wasn't...just cut out the sugars & he was fine but it took years to get to where the docs would listen.
Sorry didn't mean for this to go on......I also see the frustration of American adoption & why so many people complain too many of our kids aren't being adopted but by the time you get the paper work done...it goes thur all the legal stuff, that child is now an adult...Its hard to adopt an overseas child but nothing like it is here......When I was in the Peace Corps in Ghana West Africa I had a woman try to give me her 3 yr old son cause she wanted me to adopt him so he could have a better life...now whats the horrible point of this is I could have easily......when I came back home to America I could have brought with me this adopted child.....the gov't would have allowed it!........I so understand the Gov't wanting to protect our children but until they gt rid of all the people who are in control of the decisions & have no idea what they are talking about we will continue to have this problem....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622
http://theoldbatzfarm.blogger.com |
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naturemaiden
True Blue Farmgirl
2569 Posts
Connie - Farmgirl #673
Hoosick Falls
NY
USA
2569 Posts |
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QueenofQuiteAlot
True Blue Farmgirl
865 Posts
Dalyn
Milk 'n Honey Ranch
Central, WA
USA
865 Posts |
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QueenofQuiteAlot
True Blue Farmgirl
865 Posts
Dalyn
Milk 'n Honey Ranch
Central, WA
USA
865 Posts |
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N@n
True Blue Farmgirl
223 Posts
Hackett
Arkansas
USA
223 Posts |
Posted - Apr 15 2012 : 05:41:55 AM
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I know how messed up the DHS system can be and how awful some foster homes can be. That is why it is vital for good devoted people to open their homes and hearts to these poor children. During your orientation at the Foster Care classes they will try to prepare you for what you will encounter. Our class instructor didn't pull any punches and they scared some folks off. These children have been through who knows what and caring for them comes with lots and lots issues. But it is so worth it.
keep searchin'-it's out there somewhere. |
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Suellen5
Farmgirl in Training
17 Posts
Sue
Fife Lake
MI
17 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 5:12:39 PM
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| I had the priviledge of taking in a young man that is an orphan from Kenya. It was a lot of work to go through the paperwork but I would do it again in a moment. In fact my youngest son is now living in Kenya with his family supporting and training those running local orphanages. The idea and action of caring for others is even more important as so much of the traditional support systems fall apart. We can't count on the government to take care of us. |
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erowease
True Blue Farmgirl
294 Posts
Lesley
Edmonds
wa
USA
294 Posts |
Posted - Jul 27 2012 : 5:38:03 PM
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I would take in any child who needed help. I have even taken in troubled teenagers.(just have to be clear about the rules) You can never pass up an opportunity to be an angel in someone's life. Its how we can make a difference.
My husband was adopted and we are very thankful for his parents.
Lesley
#2950
"I see God in the eyes of every child...every life is precious to God, whatever the circumstances." Mother Teresa |
Edited by - erowease on Jul 27 2012 5:43:28 PM |
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Lorie.Vance
True Blue Farmgirl
200 Posts
Lorie
Tampa
FL
200 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2012 : 09:52:11 AM
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This isi such a great topic. I am a Volunteer Guardian Ad Litem for the state of Florida, and I see many children that are removed from their homes due to neglect and or abuse, it's sad. I would take a child in a minute that needed help. So many of them have parents that are in survival mode and just can't give the love, and guidance a child needs. Many of the children have never even had regular family dinner's, reading time, or one on one attention from their parents. I commend all of you who foster or would consider taking a child.
Lorie
http://thevintagegardengirl@blogspot.com |
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shanda
True Blue Farmgirl
522 Posts
Shanda
Broken Bow
OK
USA
522 Posts |
Posted - Aug 16 2012 : 10:40:12 AM
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I adopted my DD through Foster Care. When she came to me she was labeled all kinds of things, ADHD, ODD, attatchment disorder, and on and on. Yes there were times I felt in over my head, being a single parent (I have one older son through my 1st marriage) But I firmly believed she needed love, a stable home and to learn to bond and trust. She is now a thriving teen, happy and well adjusted. I am waiting a few more years to make sure she has a firm foundation (teen years can be trick, some things can resurface) then perhaps open my home to another child. Sometimes thinking about all the hurting children out there leaves me so grieved, I wish there was more we could do. But maybe by changing one or two childrens lives, a chain reaction will start and who knows what we could change!
Shanda
Farmgirl #4233 |
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Off the Grid/Homesteading Skills: Take In Someone Else's Child |
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Take In Someone Else's Child
