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Across the Fence:  My daughter is "color blind"....  |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 08:12:01 AM
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Lately, my almost 3 year old has been in to princesses. I don't know how, honestly--we've never "tried" to keep her away from them, I just never wanted to get into the whole Disney marketing scheme, and almost ALL Disney films with the exception of Cinderella and the princess things make be cry, so I just lean towards PBS childrens shows!
Anyway, last night she deserved a little treat, she's been feeling rather poorly and while at Target, we went down the "princess" aisle in the toys, to see if there was something under $10. I presented her with "Ballerina Princess Cinderella, Ariel, or Tiara"....We all know Cinderella, blonde-blue eyed, Ariel is a red head with green eyes and Tiara is an African American girl with brown eyes. Violet looked at them for a good hard minute, studying them all together and when I said, "who is going home to our house?", she replied, "Dis one, Mahmee!!! She's soooo brutiful, I love her!!!" and she chose pretty Tiara. My heart exploded!
However, my heart imploded when we went out to our car after shopping, to find an "advertisement" for a new skinhead racially themed tv show on cable access, with 5 (poorly worded and terribly misspelled) paragraphs filled with misinformation about "jews", "hispanics" and the "blacks" all taking over our once pristine white world and that, watching this show (which I am certain, would make anyone mentally challenged simply by tuning in for a nanosecond) will take back our world and create a New World Order.
I was enraged. And scared, and sick. All at the same time. At first I thought we were targeted because someone had seen little Violet loving her new Tiara doll, but then I looked around and saw all of the cars filled with these hate inciting pieces of paper. Had she not been with me, I would have taken each and every one of them off the cars if it took me all night, but as it was, I went home with the pride and knowledge that in our family, we are all colorblind. And proud of it!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3318 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3318 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 08:46:04 AM
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Good for you Jonni....Ignorance, just plain ignorance perpetuates racism!
Melody
Farmgirl #525
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 10:00:02 AM
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That is awesome Jonni! Good for Violet in loving the beautiful doll no matter what color. I really hope that more families can embrace the diversity that is our world. It think that is is terrible that we as a human race can't see that we are all different in wonderful rich ways and that is truly our strength!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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Marcy
True Blue Farmgirl
2701 Posts
Marcy
Tiverton
Rhode Island
USA
2701 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 10:33:37 AM
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I love it! What a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing this.
You just made my day.
hugs
Marcy
Farmgirl #170
Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others, you should put a good deal of thought into the happiness that you are able to give...Eleanor Roosevelt
http://marcysworldofcreativity.blogspot.com/
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 10:38:31 AM
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Thanks, girls. It's so beautiful to me that she sees no difference. There is a "Princess Crystal" on a PBS show called Superwhy, and she is also African American. At Christmas time, when we were getting out my mom's porcelain angel for the tree top, she said, "Wooooooowwww!!!! It's Princess Crystal!!!!" I love that to her, (at this time), we're all the same, regardless of color. I aim to keep it that way!!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 10:51:54 AM
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Princess and the Frog is one of our favorite Disney movies around here. The songs are great and the lessons in the story are better than most of the old Disney shows where the girl has to wait for her prince to come to be happy. I like how in the story "true love" was important-- but it wasn't the only thing life was about and problems didn't just melt away once she found her prince charming.
Racial relations are such a tenuous thing these days. Be too tolerant and you're pandering... a sneeze away from that and you're an accused racist. When DH used to work in security at casinos he often ejected people for drunk and disorderly conduct, and several times a person being ejected tried to bully him into backing down by accusing him of being racist... it's a hot (empty) accusation both ways sometimes.
I'm with you Jonni, I'd have been enraged to see something so evil and godless.
In our school district, its the hispanic kids deep in the machismo mexicano culture that make a lot of trouble for everyone else. They like to group up and say vulgar things in spanish to bully everyone else in addition to getting physical. It's sad and their parents don't seem to care until their bratty kids get expelled and they're stuck with dealing with them during the school day. It's horrible in that it perpetuates another generation of racism in their victims.
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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ceejay48
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm/Sharpshooter
13625 Posts
CeeJay (CJ)
Dolores
Colorado
USA
13625 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 11:20:05 AM
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Thanks, CeeJay :) I guess we're headed into this princess thing head on, for sure!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 1:27:44 PM
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I really like Princess Tiana too. DD preferred the Disney Princess products that had more than one princess on them. Her bedspread has 3 princesses on it and she has some poster with 7 of them on it. She loves all things pink and purple. She is currently in a Hello Kitty phase. She almost got on the Justin Bieber bandwagon but I cut that off right away. Hope your girl enjoys her doll.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
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Emily Anna
True Blue Farmgirl
863 Posts
Emily
Fort Atkinson
WI
USA
863 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 7:21:23 PM
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That gave me goosebumps. I see it all over the news, yet I am still dumbfounded by all the hate in this world. Sounds like your sweet little girl, who is a child, could give those hateful adults a lesson on love!
Emily |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 7:48:44 PM
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I second what everyone else has said Jonni- in todays world full of rights and wrongs and hatred just because of the way someone "looks" ...be it a "different" color skin, or their physical features, we can always count on an innocent child to see the light and hopefully remind everyone from time to time that its whats INSIDE that makes a person who they are!
Blessings!
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 8:37:03 PM
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That is so good to hear. Sadly racism is still alive and well in this country.
My husband and I get it a lot, and we are not quick to jump to that conclusion but we have been refused service numerous times where there just can't be any other reason. Once we prepaid for a cabin, and when I checked in the guy was all nice till my husband walked in and then he let out a big sigh and said this is why we shouldn't accept prepayments! And then he harrassed us the rest of our stay, constantly coming in our cabin and taking every thing out of the fridge and leaving it to melt on the table, rearranging every thing (in our suitcases!), etc. And when we would go swimming every one would quickly get out of the pool and run to their cabins! It got so bad, that when we would get ready to go to the pool in the evenings my husband would say let's go scare the white people now. They would all watch us from their cabin porches, I don't know what they were expecting to see exactly though. I finally yelled one night that we weren't planning to have sex in the pool if that was what they were thinking they were going to see! It was insane. We never stayed there again. But, it was just weird in this decade to go through that. Finally the same owner who said that's why he shouldn't accept prepay, came to our cabin one night while we were there and told us we couldn't use the pool any more during our stay. We weren't drinking (we don't drink!) not on drugs, weren't loud, I was 7 months pregnant! All we would do is go and sit in the pool, no splashing or anything! I felt like crud from being that pregnant so I literally did nothing but sat there, and my husband would just kind of sit next to me that was it. So there was no reason at all for every one to leave the pool every time, or for us not to be allowed to use it accept for he is black!
Any way....yeah....sad to say people are much worse still then most realize, glad there's a few that still stick by what's right though and aren't!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Feb 09 2012 : 10:56:06 PM
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Racism is something I don't understand. I grew up in the southwest and "I" was the minority. However, all of us played together, whites, blacks, latinos, Pima, Papago, etc. and no one thought a thing about it. I spent more time on the res than just about anywhere else. My dad worked a lot there too.
Then, my mom moved us to a part of Texas and it took me forever to figure out what in the world everyone was talking about. I hadn't a clue.
However, *big breath here*, I think that racism is kept alive because there is big money to be made and political points to be scored. If kids are just raised like 'no big deal', then it's not a big deal. However, if you watch some of the 'leaders' today, they are promoting racism. If racism goes away, they don't have power and without the power, there goes the money. Actually, I have gotten tired of being accused (in a general population way) of racism because I oppose some political people. It's like the last straw.
When I drove a big rig, hubby and I drove all over the country and when you get out into the country, away from the power centers, people are just people, doesn't matter your ethnicity. Our experience is we're all in this together and everyone helps everyone else. However, when we got to some big cities, talk about some attitudes!! Once, I even called a guy on it. I asked him flat out if he really, really believed the cr*p he was spouting, pointing out some inconsistencies in his 'spouting'. All he could do was blink at me. He hadn't even thought it through! He'd been told how downtrodden he was, yada, yada, and just went with it, not thinking for himself.
Sorry, (not really) to go off on a tangent like this, but I'm truly tired of hearing about racism. Mark Twain said the best antedote to racsim is to travel and experience things. Well, that's close anyway!! :-) I go with what MLK said, it's the content of your character, I don't give a d*mn about your skin color.
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com . Now with pictures!!
Also, http://lostadventuresincooking.blogspot.com is back up and running! Please check it out! Puh-leeze...??
My newest experimental blog: http://lostadventuresingreatdeals.blogspot.com Check it out!!
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Tea Lady
True Blue Farmgirl
645 Posts
Lorraine
Morris
IL
USA
645 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 06:02:58 AM
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Kids are so much smarter than adults... My brother's wife is Japanese and we thought it would be challenging for my step-father to accept her because his brother was killed in WWII - but it was never an issue for him. He loves her as much as everyone else - they've been married ~ 30 years. Actually, her parents - who still live in Japan - were upset and disowned her for marrying my brother. Its a long story but she didn't speak to her parents for years - she communicated through her brother and cousins. But finally, all is well. My brother goes with her once a year to see her parents - she goes several times a year to help take care of them - and they have figured out that he's not such a bad guy... The first visit was pretty tense though... We laugh about it now but he was scared.
Lorraine
(aka Tea Lady)
Farmgirl #1819
www.birdsandteas.com |
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lisalisa
True Blue Farmgirl
216 Posts
Lisa
Broomall
PA
USA
216 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 07:09:51 AM
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My youngest daughter had a little baby doll when she was small that was black-skinned. Some people gave disapproving looks, but, hey, you don't pick what or who you love. It picks you! 
I'm sorry you were faced with such a horrible thing - and having your daughter with you! You did good to throw it away, what's wrong with people? 
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 07:13:14 AM
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Yay Violet - and hooray to you for being the kind of mom who is concerned about the world your child grows up in. She will take the love that you show for all the world around you and apply that to her life as she grows up - that is the greatest start for positive change ever!!
funny how kids are - they like what they like - I always tried to be gender-neutral when buying toys for Randy - he just always loved backhoes, tractors, front-loaders etc.
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 07:24:42 AM
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Jonni, good for you!!I wish there were more parents like you. My 2 older granddaughters live up on Lookout Mt. With very racist family members. It kills me. Up on that mountain, tere are no black people. None. One time, back when my kids were in high school and H was just starting to go out with the father of these 2 kids, they went up there with some frinds, one of whom was a very black guy. Well, I's granddad came out of the house with a GUN. Told that poor guy if he ever came back up there that he would be seeing a big tree. I was shocked when they told me this. And now my 2 grands say horrible things. I try as hard as I can to get them to see that ALL people are equal. My mom always taught me that. She never said the "n" word and I have never either. It really makes me so sad to see that there are people promoting hate against other human beings. So sad.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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vintagediva1
True Blue Farmgirl
1251 Posts
Michele
Brighton
Michigan
USA
1251 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 08:48:23 AM
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Thank you girls, for your support on this--I was raised in a bit of a conflicted household, I think, largely due to my father's age (b. 1923) and upbringing (southern). He was half Native American, born in Louisiana and from what I understood, Native Americans struggled for equal footing in the south, right along side African Americans in those years of the 20's, 30's and 40's. Very much like the Irish did during the later years of the Civil War. They were equally "undesirable" and that left competition for jobs and rather hard feelings towards the races. My mom, on the other hand, was 23 when they married (he was 50), a product of the 60's and a devout supporter of JFK and the civil rights movement. Many of her dearest friends were black, and she loved Motown music best of all.
My mother never allowed him to even utter a racial slight in our home--there were no ethinic jokes allowed. Though I grew up with pride in my southern heritage (my father's 2nd cousin was Huey P. Long, an either revered/hated Governor, depending on whether you believed in the "trickle down theory" or not). But, I understood that my father's family were extreme Southern Sympathizers during the Civil War, even going so far as to move to a section of Mississipi that was going to secede...from Mississippi...because they felt the Confederates had rolled over for the North. As much as my mother says I am my "father's daughter", there must be a whole heck of a lot of her in me, because the thought of those people made my stomach sick.
I dated an African American boy in Junior High school (a cardiologist's son) and as I got further and further into my ballet career, my views on just about EVERYTHING became more enlightened. I learned to value people because they are good, kind--or to dislike someone because they were not. Never because of whether they were black, green, yellow, gay, straight or otherwise.
Our house is VERY tolerant--we have friends of all walks of life and it makes me physically ill to think that there is still such an undercurrent of evil, of hate, in our country. It's not just here, Britain has it's fair share of racism as well, against many different cultures. On my street alone, there is a soldier who has returned from Iraq recently, who flies two enormous flags from the bed of his truck, one American, the other Confederate. When I see him driving with those flags unfurling in the wind, my blood chills. It's not just the flags, his bumper stickers are ignorant, arrogant messages about illegals. And there are so many more just like him out there, and many, many, far worse.
@Kris, I've been to Lookout Mtn many times--my cousins are in Lithonia and though I love my Aunt and Uncle, my cousins seem to be almost devoid of soul. When we visited a few years ago, we went to a local Mexican restaurant and my cousin and his wife treated the staff like 3rd class citizens, slaves to their every whim and before the server was even out of earshot, his WIFE would utter racist slang terms and snort as if she was their superior. My ankle was black and blue from where my husband had been kicking me for the entire seating and he finally said, "Jonni talks about her family from Georgia often--I wish she might have added that there were a few bigots in the mix...." They had just delivered our plates and then he added in her direction, "I'd push that around a little to see if there's anything disgusting under the cheese sauce..." without missing a beat. I'd never met her before, so I was equally shocked at her behavior, but it was disappointing and sad to me that my Aunt and Uncle seemed to think it was normal.
I guess what we learn from this is that (largely) racism and intolerance of differences are taught in the home. It can be from simle utterances of derogatory labels, or stereotypes, or it can be something more sinister and overt.
I'm just grateful for my mother and my husband!!! And for my wee girl who thinks with her heart.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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marlee
True Blue Farmgirl
1650 Posts
Marlene
DeRidder
Louisiana
1650 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 09:28:48 AM
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I cannot stand to hear racist remark. And when I married my husband the older generation on his side call them selves christians and then turn around out of the other of thier mouths talk about people of different ethnic background.We were a a get together one time years ago and it began.
Not all of them because one of them is married to a japanese girl, and she is so sweet.And she would do anything for anyone.
My husband doesnt like it either but he cant do nothing, being in his family know I uderstand why he says that. As we we were leaving in a voice as loud as I could so some people would here I said: I never kneew what christian bigots were till I moved down here .
Well after that if it was talked it wasnt infront of me. My hubby said.You should have seen there faces. I said I dont have to put up with that and I wont.
I was very shy years ago, and just dont think thery thought I would say anything. WRONG.
Because I have the Lord on my side. Whoohoo.
Marlee
God is the painter, he paints the picture. And his son builds it, for he is the Master Carpenter! |
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queenmushroom
True Blue Farmgirl
985 Posts
Lorena
Centerville
Me
USA
985 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 10:24:05 AM
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I'm not racist. I believe in fairness. What I dislike is this senario which actually did happen while I was working: One of my coworkers, Sam, was working in the drive thru. Some of her friends came thru and she waited on them. One of them, who just happened to be african amer., was sitting in the passenger side. We were extremely busy and she legitamately wasn't paying attention to who was in the car. The friend in the passenger side got in touch wiht sam's boyfriend and said to him that sam did not say hi to him because he was black. If this girls sees him walking to work, she will pick him up and give him a ride. I hate it when the least little slight to a person is an automatic case of being racist, sexist etc. Why can't people just get over themselves?
Patience is worth a bushel of brains...from a chinese fortune cookie |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 10:54:13 AM
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Lorema I do think most people are over themselves, but a few do go overboard. But, sometimes it's just so blantant you can't take it any other way, what you describe if obviously overboard though.
LOL Jonni about the cheese/restaurant. When I had Lela, and was in the hospital, I remember a roommate was there and she was disgusting! Utterly gross! She left her bloody kotex's ON the railing in the bathroom next to the toilet, the railing you were supposed to use to help yourself get up. She had been complaining about my husband being there ALL night long. 1) My part of the room was totally blocked from her's with a actual wall, not just a curtain, and he was on the WALL side NOT the open side so he couldn't see her or nothing, plus I had my doorway curtain closed and she had her's closed so he couldnt' see nothing. All night long she kept talking to her mother (who was there also) why does her husband have to stay here ALL night? Why does he always have to be here! ect ect etc. And then when her husband came during the day he spent the entire time IN the bathroom! Which it said right on teh door for the patients only, visitors were supposed to go down the hall, which my husband DID! He went to the visitor bathroom every time, even in the middle of the night! Every time I needed to go to the bathroom her husband was in there! And wouldn't come out for a Looooong time, till I was forced to go to the visitor bathroom. But, then when I finally was able to get in there and she had left her bloody kotexes on the railing that was it. I made a very LOUD call to the nurses about it, saying how utterly disgusting that was! Any way, she was sooooo rude to the latino staff there at the hospital that they started pretending they didn't know english when she would ask them simple questions, like when was lunch coming, and where is the cafeteria. lol They would say no ingles. lol haha I was nearly laugh my head off, as I knew they knew english since even though I am mexican my spanish is very little, and so we had been talking a lot cause I am curteous to all staff no matter what they are... janitor, etc. lol I was thinking the same thing though about her food tray though the way she spoke to them! lol And especially since it was obvious they didn't care for the way she treated them, with their no ingles when she would ask them things! lol haha
One time my grandmother said she went out to eat with a girl friend and her husband, and the girlfriends husband kept going on and on about different races, and finally about how horrible mexicans were, and I guess the girlfriend kept kicking her husband but it wasn't working. Finally the girlfriend just said, Frank shut up! her husband is mexican! Frank apparently lost all color in his face and started apologizing, when my grandmother came back with the coolest thing ever...and I have always used it since.....oh that's ok, Frank, I've dealt with ignorance my whole life. LOL
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Feb 10 2012 : 6:20:39 PM
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Well, I'm not surprised your Violet is all about Tiara :) We had tons of dolls of all kinds of colors when we grew up. My mother and father were of completely different heritages and religions. They were the best examples of how nonchalant it REALLY could be to coexist on the planet. It really is that simple.
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View My Work:
art/dolls: www.vagabondcreations.blogspot.com
The Horse Drawn Project and Farming!
www.beyondvagabond.com
View the blog and radio show!
Renegade Farming!: www.therenegadefarmer.com
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
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Tea Lady
True Blue Farmgirl
645 Posts
Lorraine
Morris
IL
USA
645 Posts |
Posted - Feb 11 2012 : 08:36:20 AM
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Heather - I LOVE your grandmother's comeback. Good for her...
Lorraine
(aka Tea Lady)
Farmgirl #1819
www.birdsandteas.com |
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Across the Fence: My daughter is "color blind".... |
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My daughter is "color blind"....
