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Barnyard Buddies:  I'm very sad  |
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Sweet_Tea
True Blue Farmgirl
194 Posts
Tara
Newberry
SC
USA
194 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 12:46:42 PM
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Friday, my heart was broken.. Friday night we got home and I let the dogs out.. Maya came back but Vegas didn't.. I called and called for him.. And he never came.. When Clint came in, I said was Vegas with you? He said no he say him running around and he asked me what the loud bang noise he heard was.. I had no idea.. Well I started screaming for Vegas and it is not like him not to come home.. Shortly after I was going nuts looking for him.. A lady and her husband pulled into the driveway and I really don't remember what was said.. And I started screaming and found him lying next to the road.. The lady kept saying I'm so sorry.. I'm so sorry.... I couldn't tell you what she looked like if I saw her... All I knew was that my baby was dead... Clint picked him up and carried him back to the house and put him on the back of the truck and we just stood there petting him and I was begging for god to let him wake up.. But I saw him eyes and they were empty... I fell apart at my seems.. And still don't think I am completely sewed back up.. Clint told me to go take a shower so I did and I just waited for Vegas to pull the curtain back and check on me.. Him waiting on the Matt next to the bath tub.... Leaning up against me when I was brushing my hair.. Him steeling my slippers... Nothing.. Just emptiness.. I didn't sleep at all that night.. I watch Roseanne and the nanny on tvland until the sun came up and Clint woke up.. I had uncontrollably cried all night.. And part of me was afraid to wake up in the morning.. Because the highlight of my morning was when Vegas would wake me up by puttin his head on the bed and wagging his little nub of a tail.. An then when I didn't move he'd put one paw on the bed and then he other and he would crawled up next to me and I would love on him and snuggle with him.. Then him and maya would go out and they would come back in and Vegas would get in my closet and grab my clothes after I took them out of the closet.. When I used to go to the bathroom he would open te door and the door would slam and he'd come in and make me pet him.. And I'd say "vegas get out of here" and he'd lay his head on my knee and wag his nub of a tail and I'd pet him.. I miss him Slamming against the door to go outside when I would be opening the door.. He acted like I never opened it fast enough.. I missed him dearly when I went to feed the chickens.. He was my buddy he went everywhere. And if I didn't know he was around he used to run by and grab my hand... When I used to wash the dishes e used to. Sneak up behind me and nip me on the butt and make me scream... He was such a part of my life I can't even explain.. My cowboy has been very here for me and very loving and supportive.. I'm not sure what I would have done of he wasn't here... Sunday he suggested we build a new chicken coop closer to the house.. So we did and moved moved all my girls up here... I kept staring out to the yard having memories of Vegas running around.. And me running with him and him jumping up and nipping at me and us boxing... I found myself wanting to do the "whistle" that he used to respond to... It's a crushing hole. Feels like someone grabs my lungs and squeezes at times.... We went grocery shopping tonight as well... And I lost it coming home.. It's so hard to come home... He wasn't just a dog.. He had such a personality he was like loosing a person... He was my child... Maya has been very attached to me.. Like she knows I'm hurting.. Everytime I turn around she's there.. And she has slept with me and peed with me... She's been there for me.. Maya just doesn't have the same personality that Vegas did.. But I still love her and she's the only puppy I have left.... I don't want another dog... Because it won't be him.. I went through this with Romeo.. The next horse I bought just couldn't do anything that Romeo could.. And I never really bonded with him.... I hope that Romeo met Vegas on the other side of the rainbow bridge... And I hope that Vegas knows how much I love him and how deeply I miss him.. I keep waiting for him to jump up with me on the recliner and almost tip it over... And I miss hearing him coming in the bedroom To check on us while we sleep... And this just isn't getting any easier... I can't really talk to anyone because words just don't come out.. I just wish I knew why I had to loose him... I just. Want to go numb so I can't miss him anymore.. I'm glad the lady stopped... And I don't know why he got out of the fence.. He must have been chasing a rabbit or something he new better... I just wish he woke up.. That he broke something that could have been fixed... Something.. Anything but gone...
Here is me and my baby two nights before he died.
Farmgirl Sister #2974
~ http://notsosweettea.blogspot.com/
"The air of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears"
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 12:55:27 PM
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Sorry for your loss :(
“It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black.”-Charlie Brown |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 1:17:42 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. These animals, they just crush you with their love. The impact they leave on our lives is immense. Poor boy. I know what you're feeling--my Finn is battling something very terrible and I nearly lost him last night in my arms.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 1:31:32 PM
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Tara, am so sorry.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Simply Satisfied
True Blue Farmgirl
427 Posts
Emily
Montana
USA
427 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 2:05:25 PM
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So very sorry for your loss. There is so much love in their hearts for us and us for them that the hole they leave behind is truly devastating. I will be praying for your family.
Emily
Farmgirl # 3591 |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
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Missus Miranda
True Blue Farmgirl
285 Posts
Miranda
Thrall
TX
USA
285 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 2:29:56 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss... I've never lost an animal this way, usually sickness or old age. I can not imagine what you are going through! Big hugs and lots of prayers for you 
"I'm not trying to be mean or cantankerous. I just wish people would do the right thing, and use a little common sense." ~ Farmgirl 3535
Pflugerville, TX
http://www.tawnycow.blogspot.com/ |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 2:44:44 PM
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Tara I am so very sorry for your loss, I know that pain.
Big hugs,
Kathy |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 2:55:31 PM
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Tara,
Your story brought me to tears. I am so sorry for the loss of your furry friend. Hugs and prayers to you.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Don't go with the flow...you are the flow.
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
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jessabelluh
True Blue Farmgirl
349 Posts
Jessica
South Dakota
USA
349 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 3:13:13 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs*
~jess |
Edited by - jessabelluh on Nov 30 2011 3:13:39 PM |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 4:34:37 PM
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Tara, I am sobbing with you now. I hear the pain in your post and I have no words of comfort. I lost my Cairn 4 weeks ago tomorrow and it hurts worse now than it did then. Vegas sounds like he was a very special boy and I know you are just lost without him. And to have him go that way, I'm so very sorry. I'm wondering if Maya witnessed it? Pets grieve too and it sounds like she needs you as much as you need her right now. Hold onto her and cry with her. And post stories of Vegas here. When I lost my Hobbs these gentle ladies helped me so much! I wish I could sit and cry with you in person...
{{{hugs}}}
Audrey
.jpg) Good boy Hobbs! I love and miss you. |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 5:26:52 PM
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For now, all you can do is breathe. Let yourself feel the sadness but don't forget to breathe. It's so hard when you feel like there's no one who will understand what you're going through. When my first dog died, I was so sad that I couldn't talk about it for three years. I'm sending you farmgirl hugs and gentle light to surround you and help you to carry on. E-mail me if you need to.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Nov 30 2011 : 7:37:21 PM
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every one has good things to say. i am sobbing and so sad for you. i did not expect to be crying now. i am so very very heart broke for you. sending you hugs and love
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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Sweet_Tea
True Blue Farmgirl
194 Posts
Tara
Newberry
SC
USA
194 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 05:54:59 AM
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Thank you everyone for your support and kind words..
Farmgirl Sister #2974
~ http://notsosweettea.blogspot.com/
"The air of heaven is that which blows between a horse's ears"
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 06:38:02 AM
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Oh Tara- I am so sorry about your loss. I am sure he would have never left you if he could have stayed. He sounds like an amazing dog. He will be a part of you forever and you will miss him forever. I had an amazing dog that got me through my teen years, and when she died, a part of me died too. I still think about her a lot and miss her like crazy. My mom and I have to be careful because when we talk about Seanee we both get emotional and it isn't uncommon for us to be crying about her again. She has been gone for 4 years now. Then of course my beloved Sky-Dog who just died this August. I miss her desperatly.
Sometimes I think it is the ones that you lose unexpectedly that eat at you more. My heart goes out to you. *hugs*
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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magnoliakathy
True Blue Farmgirl
453 Posts
Kathryn
Magnolia
Texas
USA
453 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 07:28:22 AM
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Just breathe sweetie, hug Maya and tell her Vegas stories, it will help. In time, you won't hurt so bad, but don't grieve so much you give up on happiness, Vegas won't want his Mommy sad forever.
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
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janiee
True Blue Farmgirl
820 Posts
Janie
Shawnee
Oklahoma
USA
820 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 08:43:34 AM
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sweet Tara
I am so sorry for your loss. Our kids have such a hold on our hearts that it hurts almost unbearably when we lose them. Let maya help as much as she can sweetie and know that in time you won't hurt as bad as you do now. She will always be a part of your life. My prayers and love go out to you and yours.
janiee
farmgirl #390 |
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wooliespinner
True Blue Farmgirl
1311 Posts
Linda
Manchester
Ohio
1311 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 09:34:13 AM
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So sorry for your loss. Your discription of how you felt and what you are going through was how I felt 3 times this year. I still cry for mine. They truly are family and its so good that we can have such a blessed conection with such wonderful animals. Good bless and take care.
Linda
Raspberry Run Farm
Nubian Dairy Goats |
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Apache Lady
Farmgirl in Training
47 Posts
Erika
La Puente
California
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 12:01:47 PM
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| I'm so sorry Tara, I'm in tears just reading your story. Our furbabies are such a big part of our lives. i live on a busy street and i have nightmares like this all the time about my Kylie. I'm so sorry this had to happen. |
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hoosiercountry
True Blue Farmgirl
572 Posts
karla
north port
fl
USA
572 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2011 : 1:44:52 PM
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| Dear Tara I send comforting hugs your way, I am so sorry for your loss. Keep yourself wrapped in the memories to ease the pain. Prayers and thinking of you. |
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 4:49:50 PM
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Oh Tara, darlin' I am so so sorry. I am sending you a virtual hug. It is soooo very hard to lose a furbaby.
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE
Chapter Leader, Connecticut Simpler Life Sisters
Suburban Farmgirl Blogger
http://sfgblog.maryjanesfarm.org/ |
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Dec 04 2011 : 6:30:32 PM
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I am so sorry for your heartache. They mean so much and they are with us all the time. They give us unconditional love. I am sure that is why God created them. I read somewhere once that our animals will be the first to meet us when we pass...
Deborah
we have moved to our farm...and love it |
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medievalcat
True Blue Farmgirl
256 Posts
Cynthia
White County
Arkansas
USA
256 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2011 : 9:30:51 PM
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Oh Tara how horrible. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your post brought tears to my eyes and I wish I could just be there to hold your hand. Vegas was a very handsome friend and I know you miss him. Please remember to be kind to yourself during this. You still need to take care of yourself and trust me I know it's farthest from your thoughts.
You and your family are in my prayers.
Cyn |
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Barnyard Buddies: I'm very sad |
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I'm very sad
