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*Farmgirl Swap:  Members with outstanding swaps list  |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 08:50:54 AM
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Megan Thanks for doing this!!! I know that you are getting some negativity over it but it really is time for some accountability. I have been stiffed on both barters and swaps and have quit joining them because of it, though there have been some that sounded fun I won't take the chance again. For those that don't like the idea of the list, don't look at it for the rest of us it will be helpful. Kudos for you standding up and doing something!!
Kathy |
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 08:54:51 AM
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Is Raine the only outstanding swapper? Who is her swap hostess?
Make cupcakes not war!
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 08:57:27 AM
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trish; i am one of those who is not able to send frequently to say, for example, a secret sister. it is partly due to time and partly due to money-morseo due to money--also as a person who works full time hours (but is part timer!) and goes to school 3 nites a week; my weeks all run together and my intentions are good....i was under the impression that, for example, the secret sister swap was to be one larger gift at the end however, many many of the gals who swap send full gift boxes more often--
i, for one, am absolutely spoiled rotten by my secret sister this round and do not deserve all that she has sent!not all is extremely expensive tho she has put money in--it's more the thoughts that she has put in and the love!
last year, my secret sis was not as flush monetarily however she was truly wonderful to me!very creative and very very thoughtful! as you said--or maybe it was sue--it's a gift for pete's sake--and it should be the thought that counts...
some folks have nothing better to do than swap and others are right on the ball to get things out--
some are much craftier than others as well--and i envy them their talent
i'm involved in the Christmas in a bag swap and have my "stuff" but have not had a chance to put it together--it will go out- partners were just posted last nite--but i am sure there are folks who are home all day -or are much more disciplined than me--who have theirs ready to mail!!!
i'm rambling----
even tho i was stiffed last Christmas; i will NOT post her name- and she is still active on the boards- i'm thinking maybe if someone really feels the need to "blacklist" (which is what i would call this--again my opinion) then they should take it upon themselves to send private email to swap hostesses ...i think most of the hostesses are aware of who is a slcker , who is a procrastinator (i AM!) and who is simply late....
i know that when newbies see these type of posts they shy away from things that could be just the "sister therapy" many of us need- i also stand by my thought that i will probly not sign up for any additional swaps after this type of thing....
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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Sue Feely
True Blue Farmgirl
1044 Posts
Sue
Buffalo
New York
USA
1044 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:00:44 AM
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Trish - The reason I set the 75 post limit was because I thought if someone had at least that many posts they have been on MJF for some time and were really interested and knew what we were about! I did this because I checked back in recent notes, there have been women with only a few and yes I mean a few posts that get so excited and join things and then perhaps fall out of love with MJF (but how could one do this?) and drop out. I thought that would work with the minimum number of posts but it really did not! With each passing round of secret sisters I keep telling myself, never again but then I think of all the positives and keep it up, but not this time, maybe we need a rest from the secret sisters I just don't know!
Sue |
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yarnmamma
True Blue Farmgirl
4247 Posts
Linda
Clarks Summit
PA
USA
4247 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:01:37 AM
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Call it what you want...it' still getting people in "trouble".
Who decides what names get posted and why?
Perhaps personal emails to those involved is a better way to handle this.
Linda in Scranton, PA
Farmgirl #71 |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:04:51 AM
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Well, the purpose is not to call that person out. It's so that the swap leaders on the swap boards can look at it, and decide whether to let those people join in swaps or not. Simple as that.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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one_dog_per_acre
True Blue Farmgirl
1572 Posts
Trish
Sandpoint
ID
USA
1572 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:07:23 AM
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a rose is still a rose, IMHO
Make cupcakes not war!
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Sue Feely
True Blue Farmgirl
1044 Posts
Sue
Buffalo
New York
USA
1044 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:09:12 AM
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I do send personal emails to those, though they are sometimes most uncomfortable for me to write to, I dont know what their situation is at the time, but from my experience they do not work, if someone drops out of a swap or barter, they do not return my emails.
I recently had to email someone and tell them their secret sister has dropped out because she did not like what was sent to her! Ladies think of all the swaps and barters you have been in, from my point of view, most a really great, some not or not at all. I think the good ones make up for the bad ones!
Sue |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:11:41 AM
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i am one who sue had to email this round to see if i was still among the living-it was embarrassing but she did it - and i am trying to be a better secret sister--again- we do not all have the means--that does not mean we should be blacklisted....
being a swap hostess is not easy- i actually tried it myself this fall- a simple one- and it had glitches--but i think we had fun....
ok- done.this type of thing takes the fun out of swapping--- i value linda's comment as sister #71...megan came on board after i did ...ouch-sorry- i am done.
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:16:14 AM
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Trish, if someone is owed a swap, has contacted the hostess and the swap partner with no response, and has gotten no swap in return, and that person emails me, the name goes up. Simple as that. If someone has contacted the swapee, with no response, has contacted the swap hostess, and hasn't gotten their end of the swap, it's been weeks and weeks, they can email me, and the name will go up. There's no judgement involved. It's simply a process. IE: in the email or message, you could just say "Hey, I'm the swap hostess for such and such swap. This certain member has been contacted, and it's been a month after the deadline." That way, for the next swap, the new hostess organizing it sees that person has an oustanding swap, but wants to join. They can email the member and say "Hey, I noticed you still had an outstanding swap with such and such. Let's make sure they get their end of the swap, and then we can get you in on this one! I'll save you a spot!" I mean, if we want to keep the thread open for people to add their own names that's fine too, I just thought a main post with all the names would be a simpler thing than having to scroll through the whole thread. Maybe have people post the names and then I can add them to my main post?
I mean, at one point those people who are getting awesome gifts then dropping off the face of the earth need to be reined in. I understand it may seem harsh, but, when you sign up for a swap, you are agreeing to holding up your end! When you drop off the face of the earth (IE: NOT when a family member gets sick, time gets away, etc.) you are, in essence, taking advantage of someone! And the wonderful members who make gifts for those who have gone without are so awesome. But the fact remains that they shouldn't have to do that! I'm just trying to protect the members that do good on their swaps-trying to make sure they don't get repeatedly taken advantage of.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:21:29 AM
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Margo, my point is agreeing with Linda. :) Personal emails WILL be sent from the swapee AND the swap hostess before anything is done on here.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:24:05 AM
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i have to apologize--i have maybe been harsh or crude or rude or soemthing--
i agree that people get burned and i agree that folks should not be reaping if they are not reciprocating in the sowing....
i just feel that policing the swaps is a bit much .....most of our swaps are hostessed pretty much by teh same great group of gals and none of them are stupid!!! they all know what is going on....
anyhow- i apologize if i offended anyone; specially megan....
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:33:28 AM
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Okay... I was kind of avoiding this one, but I guess since Margo is asking, I'll answer.
I think swaps are WONDERFUL. And, for the most part, I think everyone who signs up has the best of intentions. I have been burned numerous times, but never posted about it online, because I'm not going to humiliate anyone like that - even if they are in the wrong, it's wrong to embarrass someone and single them out. This has been a very difficult thing to contend with, and has been an ongoing discussion behind the scenes amongst the swap hostesses whenever problems arise (thank GOD we have each other in times like this!). I think the general consensus when this happens has been to continue to be a gracious farmgirl, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and do the right thing and fill in the void so no one is left out. You see, you just never ever know what happens in a person's life, and it just doesn't feel right - it doesn't feel like the "farmgirl way" to humiliate anyone when they don't or aren't able to fulfill their obligations. Yes - it's absolutely stinky when someone doesn't fulfill their obligations and just completely drops the ball. When that person contacts the hostess to let her know what is happening, it's very helpful - then the hostess can take up the responsibility OR ask one of the swap angels to fill in. Either way, I have to say, though, I really do think it's the hostess' responsibility to follow up and follow through when someone else can't or doesn't. Whenever I've hosted in the past, if someone either wasn't able to or didn't fulfill their obligations (and IF the "left out partner" notified me there was a problem), I contacted the "missing" person. If she responded that she was just a little late, I let the "left out partner" know what was going on. Usually it was fine to give the person some extra time - everything worked out and everyone was happy. But if the person simply let me know she couldn't fulfill her obligation, or if she didn't respond or simply never fulfilled her promise, I took over and filled in myself. In my heart, that was the responsibility I took from day one when I was going to host any of the swaps. I look at it this way: If I'm hosting a pot luck get-together with friends where I know what everyone is bringing, and then suddenly someone can't make it or doesn't, I'm always at the ready with an extra beverage or snack in the cupboard or frozen prepared meal to fill the void. That's how I see it with swaps, too; but that is just my personal outlook.
Having said all of that, however, I've recently been on the other side of the coin, as well. We have had so many upheavals in our family over the past few months it has been unbelievable. I didn't come online to list every single thing, because it was just ridiculous the amount of things that arose and we were having to contend with - I had trouble believing it all myself! I did, however, let my swap hostesses know when I was late or unable to fulfill my commitment. I tried very hard to meet all the deadlines, even when I had backed out, but I just couldn't do it. In particular, there were five ATC swaps I knew I couldn't fulfill within the allotted time. Out of all of them, in the midst of personal chaos, I had completely forgotten about backing out of one; and with the final one, I tried very hard to meet the deadline, but I just couldn't. Our swap hostess was absolutely wonderful (as all swap hostesses are, in my estimation). She was very understanding and gracious about everything. I believe she simply removed me from the lists without making things any more stressful for me and without embarrassing me or singling me out for my failure. Of course, I completely understood I was not going to receive any of those ATCs, either (although in their graciousness, the girls in the first swap all sent me an ATC as a courtesy - farmgirls ROCK!). We are very lucky to have such gracious and kind swap hostesses and participants, indeed! I didn't sign up for any other swaps because I knew I wouldn't be able to fulfill any obligations. I also didn't feel right signing up for others until I completed the ATCs I had signed up for. I finally was able to get all my ATCs for each of the five swaps completed a couple of weeks ago, so I contacted the hostess to see if she could either provide me with the addresses of each person in each of the five swaps so I could mail them out to each person, OR, if she was uncomfortable sharing personal contact information (totally understandable), I wanted to see if it would be better for me to sort out all of the ATCs among the appropriate swap partners for each of the five swaps and then send her pre-stamped, pre-addressed (names only) envelopes so she could just add the addresses and mail them. Regrettably - but most understandably - the hostess did not keep all the swap partners addresses on file, so we both kind of agreed it might be better that I just hold on to all of them for next year's similar swaps - at least they'd be done and ready to go (and not late!) next time! I felt very, very badly about that, though. I had promised the girls in the first swap I'd ensure they'd receive one from me. It is a bit embarrassing not to be able to send them out. To boot, I'm sitting here with upwards of 100 ATCs that really should have gone out to everyone who did participate on time in the five swaps. Then again, I'm sure none of the girls are still waiting on my ATCs because the hostess did remove me from the list.
SO... after having said all of that:
1) There are always going to be difficulties with swaps when someone can't or doesn't meet their obligations. I think sometimes people are afraid or too embarrassed to acknowledge that life has set them back and that they can't meet their obligations. And sometimes, even when they are finally able to fulfill their obligations, it's simply "too late," if you will. I honestly don't think that anyone would purposely sign up to "get" but not to "givee." That just doesn't sound very much like a farmgirl to me. We must realize: life happens. It seems much more farmgirl-ish and gracious to just let it slide when others don't meet their obligations, even if it is terribly disappointing. Grace is always better.
2) If a swappee does not receive anything from her swap partner, she really needs to address this with the hostess. A hostess can't work with half a story. It's not as though she keeps track of who has sent things and who hasn't. It's also not as though people email to report in when they do mail out their swap items. If nobody tells her, she simply is unaware of that fact, and cannot act accordingly.
3) If a hostess is aware that she has a "left out partner," I truly feel it's her responsibility to fill the void herself or ensure that there are swap angels ready at the wing to do so. Any good hostess ensures that all her guests needs are met and that they are happy at the party - and she usually has special helpers to ensure her party goes smoothly and is a success. I would be horrified if someone came to an event I was hosting and walked away feeling left out, ignored, and taken advantage of... So, for me, that's a responsibility I take even before a swap has begun. Again, though, if nobody notifies the hostess of a problem, she can't do her job to rectify it, you know? Further, by a hostess picking up where someone has failed, that really eliminates the need to assign "noobies with noobies" for a while, etc. Like Linda, I kind if feel that system is unfair as well. I mean, farmgirls are supposed to be gracious and welcoming to all without any prejudice. "Sticking" noobies together to "feel them out," just doesn't seem fair at all to new participants who are honest. I really do understand the reasoning, but personally I don't feel very comfortable with that.
4) As far as repeated offenders... Oh, man. I know. That's really tough. I've even seen people who have let me down out there who have gone on to hosting swaps themselves, if you can believe it. That's why I'm not so sure girls even realize when they do this at times. If someone contacted me to tell me I was at fault, I'd be horrified and take care of it immediately, and I'm sure most farmgirls would do the same! I just feel very squeamish about the whole idea of exposing our farmgirl sisters to public humiliation by posting a list in the forums. It seems cruel and doesn't really pose ANY farmgirls in a good light. I honestly don't mean to offend when I say that; I just don't know how else to say it - I'm sorry. Would it, perhaps, be more prudent to instead create a list like this to share privately amongst the swap hostesses? That way, if such a person signs up, the hostess could discretely inform her that she is unable to participate in the present swap until she fulfills her past swaps? Couldn't we manage to do this in a less public, less humiliating way? Perhaps one of the regular swap hostesses would be willing to accept the responsibility of keeping such a list, and, before posting a swap, a new swap hostess could contact her for that information? The only thing is, again, a lot of very gracious farmgirls would not be comfortable "reporting" anyone, so even the list monitor might not be aware of of the names of girls with outstanding swaps. I don't know... I just think, though, that what it really boils down to is the hostess accepting responsibility for the swap. I'm extremely uncomfortable with the notion of "policing" this situation, regardless of how it is done. To me, that would also suggest a need for "jury" and "judge." I really don't think that's what we farmgirls are all about. AND, as Donny Osmond used to sing, "One bad apple doesn't spoil the whole bunch of girls..." We can't let this spoil us, you know? That'd be so sad!
5) Finally (for now?), as far as swappers outside of the country. You know, I really screwed up with this in one of my swaps. I had no idea one of the girls who signed up lived in Canada, and I just assigned her to an American partner without realizing it. The American farmgirl contacted me to bring it to my attention, and, although I was more than happy to switch partners with her (I felt horrible!!!), she was EXTREMELY gracious and said she'd be happy to continue partnering with her match. The difficulty with international swapping lies with all the customs paperwork and additional costs of shipping. It makes things much more difficult and time-consuming. After that initial faux pas, I tried to word my other swaps as kindly and as gently as possible, offering that Canadian and foreign farmgirls were welcome to swap provided there were other Canadian or foreign - or even American - farmgirls willing to swap with them. That way, nobody felt left out or unwanted on the one hand, and on the other, nobody felt pressured to go through the additional rigamarole involved with customs and international swapping. We just really need to be careful with that one. Farmgirls have big hearts, not big bank accounts and big blocks of time. I just feel it's important to note that swap hosts be very sensitive to this. We don't want to take the fun out of this for anyone.
Okay, I'm sure there is a lot more to say on the matter, but I REALLY have to get going. I hope everything I have said will be received with the farmgirl love in which it was said, because I think the world of each and every one of you. It's okay to agree to disagree. I know there are no easy answers, but I'm really hoping that maybe together we can resolve some of this in the most gracious farmgirl way. I will be checking the posts over the next few days to follow the conversation for sure!
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Edited by - Ninibini on Oct 27 2011 09:44:47 AM |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:34:09 AM
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You know, I'm not sure quite how I feel about this, because I only participate in swaps when I can (both timewise and financially). But I know this: even though I KNOW I'm not the person Sue or Margo are talking about (because I don't do swaps very often), because of the person I am, there is a real "yuck" feeling that comes over me, seeing reference to someone who flaked out, whether they are named or no. I mean, I actually thought, "are they talking about me? Who is Sue, who is Margo? Did I do a swap at Christmas time last?"
It's like looking at the pictures of people who write bad checks at the bodega down the street. I know they screwed up, but how embarrassing for them--and the people that know them.
This is just my opinion, but once a name is up, even if they ultimately make good on the swap or don't, but remain on the forum or come back at some point, unless you're a total NEWBIE with 2 posts under your name and are assigned this person, NOONE will want to swap with them. Noone. And don't tell me, either, that some of these ladies wouldn't feel necessary to "tattle" to that newbie about this person and their history. Sorry, women, farmgirl or not, can be really catty.
I know that in our recent Autumn swap, Meghan was stiffed--and that really sucks. My luck has been good, but that's because I can count on one hand the ones I've participated in.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:34:46 AM
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This is a slippery slope. I hosted a couple of swaps and ended up having numerous partners myself due to people not completing their end. I still had fun and took on the responsibilty. I have always made good on my swaps and have only been burned a little. I still like to swap, I am just pickyer about which swaps I do. I once had a secret sister who never let me know when she got her stuff or if she was still alive. I still sent the stuff and the last gift was a pretty heavy vintage cast iron milk stool that cost me quite a bit to send. After about two months she finally wrote me back and let me know that she received everything. I am glad she got it and enjoys it. It is very easy to get all pumped up and excited about swaps and overdo it a little. I have learned to pick and choose and only do one at a time. Live and learn.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Don't go with the flow...you are the flow.
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:41:23 AM
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I'm all for a private list! I just don't have the admin rights or whatnot to do so. And I understand some farmgirls not wanting to add their persons name to the list-and thats fine! Some agree, some don't. Thats fine!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:42:39 AM
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Should we make a public list for repeat offenders only?
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:46:30 AM
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Megan - I really appreciate what you want to accomplish here, I do. But I think the whole public list thing is really icky. It makes me feel very, very uncomfortable. I hope you understand. Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Emily Anna
True Blue Farmgirl
863 Posts
Emily
Fort Atkinson
WI
USA
863 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:52:16 AM
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I feel like in a situation like this....you're darned if you do, you're darned if you don't. I think it is important to hold people accountable, but if you're going post someones name for everyone to see, you better make darn sure they didn't make a due date because of a crisis. Which it sounds like you will. :)
I wish if people were going to be late with their swap, they would have the decency to let their partner know. Communication is the key. I wouldn't care if someone was a month late with my swap as long as they let me know!
As far as setting a post # limit on those who can swap.....I can totally understand the thought behind it, but I don't know if it's fair. I'm only on 24 or so posts. I belong to Mail Art, have done two swaps, and am signed up for a Christmas swap. Because of different preferences, I am sure i've sent things that may not be my fellow farm girl's taste, but I can honestly say I put my 100% into the swaps I do. I don't think I shouldn't be allowed to do swaps. I don't post on the forum that often, but I am commited! :)
Just remember...we do neeed to hold people accountable, we just need to be careful not to hurt the ones who are having a difficult time.
Remember ladies, communication is the key and if you're going to be late for any reason, let your partners know in a resonable time! Let's make these swaps a positive thing! :)
Blessings, Emily |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:54:17 AM
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Nini,
In response to your #1, yes. I HAVE seen people join swaps only to take advantage of others. It happens and it's mean an awful.
#2. This list is for AFTER the hostess has been contacted, the SWAPPEE has been contacted, and there has been weeks since the swap has ended. That is more than fair, in my opinion. If someone doesn't reply to all that contact, and also hasn't sent out something, I think that there is reason to be concerned.
#3 I totally agree.
#4 I think that if emails from the hostess AND the swappee are sent, hopefully it will be hard to "forget" your end. Like you did-you kept in contact with the hostesses! As long as contact is kept, I don't think people will think you're skipping out!
#5 I totally agree.
And thank you for weighing in on this!
And let me reiterate-this list isn't for those people who are like a week or so late-even a few weeks late-but have CONTACTED the people involved to let them know! This is for those people that join and NEVER follow through and NEVER contact.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Edited by - walkinwalkoutcattle on Oct 27 2011 1:07:33 PM |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 09:58:53 AM
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Nini, how do you feel about someone joining 4 swaps at one time and never following through, never emailing to say they were running late, and then still being able to join more?
That's kinda what I'm trying to figure out a solution to. :) And I don't want to make you feel icky at all. I'm sorry if this does. I'd love to figure out a middle ground!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Edited by - walkinwalkoutcattle on Oct 27 2011 10:00:36 AM |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 10:25:01 AM
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I'm with ya, Megan - that's completely wrong. Please do not take offense at anything I've said. There are no easy answers, I know. That's not very farmgirl-ish when a person does something like that, and it surely isn't fair. Maybe contacting the other swap hostesses privately to give them a "heads up" would help so that they can discreetly tell the person that she cannot participate in her swap until she has fulfilled her other obligations. I just really think the public "outing" is icky. I'm not trying to make you feel icky, either - I think very highly of you! :) There just has to be a better way to handle this. You're right - I'm sure there is some middle ground. Maybe with all of us putting our heads together, we can come up with an awesome farmgirl solution! :) Hang in there! Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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LindaJo
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
Linda
Fargo
ND
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 10:27:40 AM
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i think we all need to take some responsibility. if you don't get your item-email the person and let them know. if you don't hear back-email the hostess. i still think the hostess has a responsibility to not include those people who regularly do not send their items. keep in touch with your partner if you are running late or there's some hold up. i think most people understand things happen. and probably the most important step is to be realistic about what you can handle. if you know you have a busy schedule-take that into account, don't disappoint someone because you over extended yourself.
Art cleans the dust of everyday life from the soul. Picasso |
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 10:32:15 AM
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Linda, "Don't disappoint someone because you over extended yourself" is a great point. KEEP IN CONTACT!
I mean, if I'm running a swap, and I have someone involved that never sends out an email after repeated attempts, and never sends out their end, I think, as the swap hostess, I have a responsiblity to help fufill the hole left by that person, and to make sure that other hostesses know about this person not fulfilling their end.
If I'm running a swap and someone tells me "Such and such member didn't fulfill their end and never contacted anyone" I would be able to be prepared-I could email that person's swap partner and say that someone else is going to be fulfilling their end, or that I was working on something and to not get discouraged.
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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retasos2
True Blue Farmgirl
272 Posts
Pilar
Centereach
NY
USA
272 Posts |
Posted - Oct 27 2011 : 10:42:34 AM
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Every game has rules, so should swaps. There is no point in participating when you run the risk of having a "no show" for a partner. It really is disheartning when it happens because you send your stuff hoping to make someones day and get nothing in return. Sometimes not even a thank you which to me is very cruel.
Pilar
Farmgirl Sister #2498
Little Hen House on the Island
" A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is, until she gets in hot water" Eleanore Roosevelt |
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*Farmgirl Swap: Members with outstanding swaps list |
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