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Across the Fence:  Do you struggle with change?  |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 11:23:36 AM
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Boy I sure do. I think I must have feet in concrete. As many things that have changed in my life, you would think that I could accept change gracefully. But I don't. I cry. Sigh.
I just got back from a looooong trip to my parents' house that totalled 1900 miles in four days. We went to help them load up stuff that they are giving away. They are moving to a retirement community. I tried to put on a cheerful face, but I failed miserably. They are moving to a whole different state and it's just weird. Anybody else out there dealing with that?
Anyway, I put pictures up at the blog that I thought people would enjoy and that I think will explain why I am having such a hard time!! They are excited. We girls are the ones having the difficulty!! Go figure.
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 1:41:20 PM
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The pictures are very nice. I'm sure your parents are excited to move to a community with people their own age. When my father sold his house and moved it felt very strange. It seems that even as we age we expect that our moms and dads will stay sort of suspended in time. I don't do well with change either. I like boring and predictable.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 2:01:50 PM
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I so understand what you're experiencing--I know they're really excited about the change, but it's signifies a goodbye for you and your siblings, one you didn't get a lot of choice in making.
I really have struggled with this in the last 10 years or so. Three generation of my mother's family all lived on Park Street, in Grove City, Ohio, a little town south of Columbus. My mom went to school her whole life there, my father even worked there during horse racing season at Beulah park where they met. My Grandmother, Great Grandmother and Great Great Grandmother all lived within a block of one another, at the same time, and my favorite Great Aunts live on the other street behind the alley. Not to mention all my cousins and extended family and friends who's front parlors I played in, or helped in the garden...I spent most of my childhood there, spending 2 weeks during the summer break and each and every month, two times a month going "up home" with mom. Everyone has passed away, save one Aunt, who turned 90. She is my grandmother's middle sister, and my grandmother's house sits just outside her back door--and I can't go over there or go inside. Someone else lives there now, they've changed the airy lace curtains and put up mini blinds. Just like someone moved in and changed my Great Grandmother's house and made it look run down and dumpy and they hang outside with their tattoos and motorcycles and her red rose bushes are long chopped to the ground, and the big oak tree I used to climb is much older, but I can't trespass and climb it anymore to search for my mom and dad's carved initials from when they were courting. Each time we go to visit now, which is less and less, I feel like a stranger in my own land. The only thing consistent is Zamarelli's Pizza Palace, still the best pizza anywhere.
For me, change is REALLY difficult--even if means taking a new way to work. I am steeped in habit, I am steeped in tradition and I am mostly, steeped in what you come to expect in your lifetime, what you count on.
Good for your mom and dad for beginning this new chapter in their lives together--I wish them much fun and joy!
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
Edited by - FebruaryViolet on Sep 19 2011 2:03:29 PM |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 2:13:01 PM
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Wow Jonni. That was REALLY change for you and your family. Many generations of memories in one place. I think I'll shut up now. :-) Thanks for sharing. It put it into perspective for me!!
And Julie, boring and predictable are good!!
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 5:50:32 PM
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your parents look so happy......bless you and them!
Farmgirl # 2139
proud member of the Farmgirls of the Southwest Henhouse
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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JessieLovesToCraft
True Blue Farmgirl
115 Posts
Jessie
Loxahatchee
FL
USA
115 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 6:15:39 PM
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What a beautiful couple your parents are! Hang in there, everything works out for the best in the end.
Hugs,
Farmgirl Sister #3404
Jessie
A wise girl knows her limits, but a real girl realizes she doesn't have any! |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 7:44:18 PM
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Mary Beth, that was such a nice post on your blog - soaked in the happiness and excitement of parents who are "moving on", and yet you can hear the sadness in your voice. Change is so hard, even good change. It's hard to be excited for your parents when at the same time you're mourning the loss of what that place meant to YOU. :( You're in my thoughts. Change is never easy. I'm someone who likes to have things the same. I would rather have the same thing happen day in, day out, than deal with something different - even if its something good! I don't handle change well, so I hear where you're coming from. You'll be on my mind, for sure!
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 7:47:30 PM
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Thank you Jessie and Amy. And Amy, you really touched my heart. It seems we are sisters indeed. I'm feeling kind of selfish for being so teary about this!! But I know that this too shall pass and life will move on!! :-)
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Sep 19 2011 : 8:58:14 PM
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Mary Beth I really do not think any of us enjoy change - on some levels we can handle those things that really do not make up who we are but when it hits too close to our hearts and souls well, that is a whole other matter. I know you want the best for your parents and you know in your heart in time this will be wonderful for them - so take that time and yes you can cry...
Not to be a downer but packing up a home is hard but it is heartbreaking when you have to do it because your parents are no longer on the planet. I have had to do that and there were points that I thought I could not take another breath so celebrate that you have them still with you even it is not in the old homestead.
I send love and light to you and know you are loved and cared for.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 06:00:36 AM
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Oh no! I wasn't trying to minimize your feelings, I was trying to say, "I so get you!!!" It's just been so fresh in my mind these last months that when you mentioned how difficult this change was for you, I was immediately reminded that I felt the same way--and I've really been struggling with identifying those feelings until your post.
"Hey, I've got nothing to do today but smile..."
The Only Living Boy in New York, Paul Simon |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 06:16:22 AM
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What wonderful photos. I know just how you feel. When my family home was not there anymore, it was the strangest feeling.....I could not go home again ever. That place of safety was gone. Just knowing it was there had always given me comfort.
Your parents are a cute couple. I hope they are happy in their new place. And keep those memories close in your heart.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 06:25:17 AM
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Oh Jonni, I didn't think you were minimizing my feelings, sweetie!! I appreciated the words! They helped. :-)
Shirley Jean, you nailed it on the head. That place of safety is gone. But our safety isn't in a house or a town, is it? It is in God!! Yay!! :-)
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 08:00:18 AM
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i went to your blog and read your post. i too was moved. i have always enjoyed your posts and recipes. i know how very proud your folks are of your life. right now my papa is gone. i miss him so much, even before he left i started to feel the hollow hole. i am sending you a BIG hug. sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 09:44:58 AM
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Mary Beth, Jeremiah 29:11 is what I steep myself in when I'm having a hard time accepting change. Somehow it always gives me the strength to move on, in faith that "all things work together for good". (Rom 8:28)
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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nabrown42
True Blue Farmgirl
409 Posts
Nancy
Caneyville
KY
USA
409 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 1:44:11 PM
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I have found change to be exciting. I used to love maintaining the status quo to be comforting but as I've aged and life has been changing all the time in so many different ways that I am looking forward to the next adventure. Our move to KY is a huge change, as was dh's retirement and all my illnesses. I've survived cancer, strokes, the complications that Lupus brings to my life but I keep waking up on the right side of the grass and can't wait to see what the day brings. Sometimes is sorrow, mostly it's joy which makes the dark times only fleeting in the grand scheme of things.
"I've wept in the night for the shortness of sight that to someone's needs I've been blind; but I've yet to feel a twinge of regret for being a little too kind." |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 3:44:13 PM
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Mary Beth, your parents look wonderful. And happy. I can understand how you feel. But instead of my parents moving away to a retirement home, they moved about 20 miles from me. They love it here. They were way out in the country and now they are in the middle of town. It's great for them. Right in the middle of everything. I'm sure your parents will love where they are no matter where it is. I can just imagine all your great memories. Thank you so much for sharing some with us.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
Posted - Sep 20 2011 : 4:01:19 PM
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Kris, I think that's part of my problem. They were already 850 miles away and now they are even farther. I miss getting to see them very often.
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
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Across the Fence: Do you struggle with change? |
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Do you struggle with change?
