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Family Matters:  It's over  |
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medievalcat
True Blue Farmgirl
256 Posts
Cynthia
White County
Arkansas
USA
256 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 11:32:26 AM
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Hello all,
I posted months ago about how my husband had stolen money from us and I forgave him and he promised to go to therapy..blah blah blah.
We move to Louisiana where I thought it would give him peace and happiness to be back here.
Then a week ago Friday he seriously hurt my 19 year old son and kicked him out of the house. It was 101 outside and my son had no transportation, money, or anything to drink..and no where to go. All this happened while I was at work.
Since then my husband has moved out and my son has healed from the physical damage. And all of us are trying to come to terms about what happened. Then once again I find evidence he's misused the money. I'm seriously in the hole and then he took his disability check out of the bank account and things bounced thankfully I signed up for text alerts and found out quickly. But that has put me further behind.
We are thinking about moving back to Arkansas mostly to get away from him but with the way things are I don't know if I can financially and I have to have a job before I can leave the one i have now.
And bad relationships hurt when they are over..
Saying all that.. the kids and I have found our laughter and joy again and that is priceless.
Hugs to all,
Cyn |
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Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 11:48:30 AM
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Cyn, I am so sorry you guys have all gone throught his! Time will heal the pain....
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 11:51:15 AM
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I'm sorry to hear all of this frustrating stuff is going on. I hope that things will get better from here on out. I hope that things work out so you can move back to Arkansas and not have to worry about the finances. Hopefully a new job will present itself so you can safely move without worrying about money. I hope your son is ok after what happened. I will keep you all in my thoughts...
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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oldbittyhen
True Blue Farmgirl
1511 Posts
tina
quartz hill
ca
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 1:52:16 PM
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I sure hope your son had him arrested for what he did to him...maybe sitting in jail will make him change his toon, long enough for you to get away...
"Knowlege is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad" |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1408 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1408 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 2:05:34 PM
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I've walked in your shoes. Never again will I move to satisfy my spouse. If you can get your old job back, RUN, don't walk. You will be much more calm and at peace. Of course, take your son with you.
Betty in Pasco |
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Tn.Earthmama
True Blue Farmgirl
451 Posts
Phyllis
Englewood
Tennessee
451 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 3:03:53 PM
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| Cynthia, I don't know how I missed you were going through all this. sounds like you are doing what you need to do to protect yourself and your kids. sending healing energies your way. Phyllis |
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 3:58:18 PM
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Cynthia , I'm sending big farmgirl hugs to you and your family. I, too, have been in your place and it is a terrible thing to go through. I am so very glad that you've found your laughter and joy again, that IS precious. Please don't let this man drag your life down with him. Blessing to you and your children
HUGS
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 6:34:09 PM
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I am praying for healing for all of you. Very hard times, and I do not know your beliefs, but I hope you can find peace. Make prayer a daily part of your life.......lots of times a day. I feel for what you are going through.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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cynfullypurple
True Blue Farmgirl
190 Posts
Cynthia
Endwell
NY
USA
190 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 7:17:40 PM
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From one Cyn to another,
I'm SOOOOOOO sorry for what you have been through! I agree with Betty and that you should RUN if you can back to Arkansas if you are able. I seriously don't know how you managed to restrain yourself from not doing bodily harm to this man who hurt your child! I'm glad that your son is recovering and that even after such a horrific situation, you and your children have found joy and laughter!
I will keep you in my prayers.
Cyn~
Farmgirl #2817
"The time is when a library is a school, and the librarian is in the highest sense a teacher, and the visitor is a reader among the books as a workman among his tools." ~Melvil Dewey
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 7:49:10 PM
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Cynthia, i am so sorry about all this. I hope you can pick up the pieces and get on with your life. And your son too.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2011 : 07:59:05 AM
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Prayers to you and your family.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Don't go with the flow...you are the flow.
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
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Tapestry
True Blue Farmgirl
1223 Posts
Cheryl
Wisconsin
USA
1223 Posts |
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SusanScarlet
True Blue Farmgirl
317 Posts
317 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2011 : 7:13:34 PM
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| I agree - hold on to your kids and run. File a restraining order so he can't hurt you or your kids again. Immediately change your banking accounts/credit cards accounts so your husband can't damage you further financially. As soon as you get to Arkansas, see a lawyer. Prayers are with you. |
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Oggie
True Blue Farmgirl
526 Posts
Ginny
Machias
Maine
USA
526 Posts |
Posted - Sep 04 2011 : 8:21:36 PM
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The bright side is it sounds like it's brought you and your kids closer together! :) Prayers will be said for you!
Ginny
Farmgirl #2343
www.thedewhopinn.com
"I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I'm with."
"Well, I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it." Both by Elwood P. Dowd (Jimmy Stewart) in the Movie Harvey
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walkinwalkoutcattle
True Blue Farmgirl
1675 Posts
Megan
Paint Lick
KY
USA
1675 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2011 : 6:05:20 PM
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oh Cynthia! I can only imagine how much that must hurt-not JUST physically-but emotionally, too. And to know that he's betrayed you this way and then financially again...you must feel betrayed and hurt and ANGRY!!! I'm so glad that you and your children are okay. If you need help please let us farmgirls know!!!!!
Farmgirl #2879 :)
Starbucks and sushi to green fried tomatoes and corn pudding-I wouldn't change it for the world.
www.cattleandcupcakes.blogspot.com
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2011 : 10:20:15 PM
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God bless you, Cynthia. I'm so sorry this happened. You and your family will be in my prayers. Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2011 : 06:04:23 AM
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I am so happy your son is okay and that your getting your life on track without the abuse. You should contact one of the abuse centers ( there is information at the police station and your local court) they have resources available to help you for this very situation. They can help find you a place to live, help provide food and clothing as well as help you with a job search.
Now is the time to reach out for the help that is there. . . your life will be yours once again and you and your children will be happy!! Please don't delay, these places are there to help. . . trust me, I have first hand experience with this. . . they are angels on earth sent to help YOU!!!
Lots of Hugs and Love to you and your family!!!
Joanna #566
JojoNH
http://www.etsy.com/shop/CountryCents
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
www.JoannasHomeStudio.com "Keeping traditions alive a stitch at a time"
http://twitter.com/NHJoanna |
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smiley
True Blue Farmgirl
650 Posts
lea
pea ridge
arkansas
USA
650 Posts |
Posted - Sep 09 2011 : 4:12:16 PM
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| Sounds like Joanna gave you good advise and I dont have much to add to what the others have already said. Just know we are praying for you and your family. |
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medievalcat
True Blue Farmgirl
256 Posts
Cynthia
White County
Arkansas
USA
256 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2011 : 8:53:35 PM
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Thank you all so much. Your words and support has helped me through this tough time. Our plans to move back to Arkansas is on hold until I can find a job there. I have a good job lead that I feel is promising but..
I'm still reeling at the amount of dept that has piled up. I chose to be blind the last couple of months because my job was very stressful and I was miserable. It was easier to give up and let him take care of everything than to fight him and my job. I made the wrong decision time and time again by trusting someone who had lied, became verbally and emotionally abusive, and he cheated me. Yet I felt it was my duty to forgive him because of his many medical problems. I know he is suffering right now but I refuse to ever take him back..I tell part of my story so that other women who might be in the same situation will get out before someone gets really hurt.
As for us right now.. it's kind of funny..the job I hated here has actually turned out to be ok.. I stood up for myself and wow the hostility has diminished.. and we are making some friends. But I don't feel completely safe here so we will be moving back. The job there will open up within the next couple of months and we will move back. For now the kids and I still cry sometimes but mostly we laugh and dance and watch movies.. I'm living the life that I gave up ten years ago by marrying my husband who never liked the things I did for fun. So I am living for me now and it feels great.. freedom is a great thing.
Thank you again everyone!
Hugs,
Cyn |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Sep 16 2011 : 9:17:23 PM
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Cynthia:
I am really so sorry for your son and for yourself.
You and your son will be in my prayers.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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medievalcat
True Blue Farmgirl
256 Posts
Cynthia
White County
Arkansas
USA
256 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2011 : 10:54:01 PM
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My friends,
I received a call Tuesday night from the sherrifs office informing me that my husband had died from a heart attack sometine the night before. It's a really hard time as we all try to come to terms with our grief, our hurt, and our feeling at fault. Please pray for us.
Cynthia |
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Sheep Mom 2
True Blue Farmgirl
1534 Posts
Sheri
Elk
WA
USA
1534 Posts |
Posted - Sep 27 2011 : 11:46:17 PM
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Cynthia, I am sorry for the loss - grief is always a hard thing to go through. You must not feel that it is your fault that he died. I know that as caring individuals it is the first place we go when in pain. He chose his behavior, and you did what was necessary to protect yourself and your children. It did not mean that you all didn't love him. I am keeping you all in my prayers that you will find a place of peace in your hearts as you go through this time of confusion and pain.
Blessings, Sheri
"Work is Love made visible" -Kahlil Gibran
http://farmsteadfripperies.blogspot.com/ |
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crafter
True Blue Farmgirl
2313 Posts
lori
Fort Atkinson
Wisconsin
USA
2313 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 07:07:26 AM
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Cynthia,
I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm hoping and praying that you and your children heal from this in all ways possible, please lean on us when you need to and even when you think that you don't- please still lean on your friends here at the farm.
Lori |
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medievalcat
True Blue Farmgirl
256 Posts
Cynthia
White County
Arkansas
USA
256 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 11:49:44 AM
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Thank you so much!
I am choosing to remember him as the loving and caring man he was a few years ago. I just got back from the funeral home and just for basic wishes it's nearly $3000 and I only have $222 in the bank and I found out I will get none of his social security because we have been separated for over 30 days. The money will go to my daughter so it's ok in the respect. I know he did not want to leave us in this mess if he had been in his right mind. His 28 yr old son is being very supportive and I tried to tell him I still loved his dad..he said, "Ms. Cindy, I know what he felt. You took care of him for years during all his sicknesses. You don't have to tell me because I saw it." I cried. And I go through moments crying.. no one is coming to my house.. no pot luck meals.. or hugs from those I know..or don't know.
Before the call came last night I was working on a poem about grief and loss. I didn't finish it because I had to run and I forgot about it until late last night. I know we will be ok..just wish we could fast track it.
Hugs,
Cyn |
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Farmer Judy
True Blue Farmgirl
433 Posts
Judy
North Aurora
IL
USA
433 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 1:18:04 PM
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My heart goes out to you. I have read this thread and all through it all I have read is so loving and caring. Take some of that, print it out and keep it with you, you are loved and cared for and if it were not for the distance we would all gather around you and take care of your hurt. That is what is in my thoughts, hopes, dreams and prayers now for you. To just suround you with love and healing. We all at some point have had sorrowful things happen in our lives and we do live through it, changed but we lived through it. I pray that for you, You may think differently about some things and you may want moments back from the past to comfort you that is just not possible but you will have new memories, new friends, and of course all of us here. I will be keeping you in my prayers.
God bless,
Judy
Born a city girl but a farm girl at heart!
http://farmtimes.blogspot.com/ |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Sep 28 2011 : 1:26:28 PM
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I am not going through the sorrow you are but am in a trying time in my life. Somehow this quote came to me and I am passing it on. There's a reason we don't speed through grief and hard times.
“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening[…]Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”
— Alice Walker (via dahlias-y-rosas)
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Family Matters: It's over |
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It's over
