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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Is 50 to old to have a baby?  |
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Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 11:23:13 AM
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My husband and I have been married for 32 years . We have 2 sons. One is 20 yrs. old and the other is 28 yrs. old. I lost 2 babys in between my pregnancies. My youngest son has Epilepsy. (seizure disorder). Anyways my husband and I were talking about having a baby. But I think I am to old. I am in good health. I do not take any type of medicines. My blood pressure is good and so is my sugar. But I still think I am to old. Do you think 50 is to old to have a baby?
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
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Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 11:33:33 AM
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That would be something that you, your husband and Doctor to discuss. I am 51 now and for me personally I would not have babies at this age. I am enjoying the grandchildren at this stage of my life. I have a girlfriend who have children, seven of them, and she had one in her 50's. For her, it isn't too old to have but, there are risks for women who are older and the babies born from older parents. This is why it will have to be discussed with all three of you and serious open discussion.... know all that is involved. If you do decide to, then go for it.... if you decide not to, then don't. Be sure your eyes are totally open and that you are honest to yourself.
Karrieann ~ Farmgirl Sister #766 (29 Sept 2009)
My Blog: ...following my heart, dreams and Jesus ...http://karrieann-followingmyheartandjesus.blogspot.com/
My Etsy ...Yesterday's Scraps, Tomorrow's Treasures ...http://www.etsy.com/shop/2TomorrowsTreasures
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Edited by - Karrieann on Aug 12 2011 11:35:03 AM |
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embchicken
True Blue Farmgirl
1487 Posts
Elaine
Ocean
NJ
USA
1487 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 11:56:45 AM
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I have to agree with Karrieann. But I understand it is a hard decision. I am going to be 46 in a few days and have one 20 year old daughter. Unfortunately the decision was made for me when I was 35 and had to have a hysterectomy. I think Karrieann had a very good suggestion to go and talk to your doctor. Another thing I wold do is to project it out. When your child is 17 you will be... when your child is 23 youwill be.... Sometimes that hepls (either way) as well.
~ Elaine
Farmgirl sister #2822
"Find yourself a cup of tea; the teapot is behind you. Now tell me about hundreds of things." ~Saki
http://embchicken.blogspot.com
http://gusandtrudy.blogspot.com
http://embchicken-thechubbychicken.blogspot.com |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 12:00:13 PM
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I think both Karrieann and Elaine are giving good advice-talk with your doctor. I know my father was 50 when I was born, but that's a whoooole different story! I'm 38 and while I miss the baby days of my daughter, I'm not even sure I'd want to go through the whole pregnancy thing again. I'm loving this stage of her life--and ours.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 1:54:27 PM
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I agree with these women. Talk with your doctors. 50 means different things for different women. I don't think its out of the question, people have done it before, but having a baby at 50 means you'd be 68 before s/he graduated high school, and in your seventies (or older) before they got married and started their own family. I know that there is a different perspective on babies and parenting depending on the age of the parent so I'm sure at 50, parenting would be looked at much differently than your first and second times around. I think its a personal decision to be made. :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Farmgirl Sister #1086
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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Lieberkim
True Blue Farmgirl
839 Posts
Kimberly
Sunnyside
WASHINGTON
USA
839 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 1:58:50 PM
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| Wise advice from everyone! That's a decision you and your husband have to make with your doctor's input. You've raised children you know what it takes so you'll know if you've got it to give. |
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Aunt Jenny
True Blue Farmgirl
11381 Posts
Jenny
middle of
Utah
USA
11381 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 2:13:04 PM
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I would have done it two years ago when I was 50 if I could have. Maybe not TODAY..haha. But I am the mom of 7 kids. The last 5 are adopted and I would never change that. If you decide it would be too hard on you maybe consider adoption! If you adopt through foster care you can still get young children. Just a thought. It has been an awesome experience for me.
Jenny in Utah
Proud Farmgirl sister #24
Inside me there is a skinny woman crying to get out...but I can usually shut her up with cookies
http://www.auntjennysworld.blogspot.com/ visit my little online shop at www.auntjenny.etsy.com |
Edited by - Aunt Jenny on Aug 12 2011 2:17:24 PM |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 4:43:03 PM
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I would be careful about the dr you choose as well. Some are much more experienced and open minded then others. Some just like to make blanket statements with out much knowledge. I would ask around about a doctor who has experience with such. There is blood test they can do now (I know they always force me to get them because of my "age" each pregnancy. The test shows the risk that is most common-down syndrome, on how high or low it is for you. Mine is usually very very low, to really probably not going to happen. And if it did, well we are willing to love and raise that child as well. However, it's something like 1 and 500 million or something like that the test results usually say. So no more or less then some one of "young" age.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Tall Holly
True Blue Farmgirl
2305 Posts
Holly
Worcester
Vermont
USA
2305 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 6:40:49 PM
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I am 54 with a 3 1/2 yo. I did not birth him. It sure is different with him than even the two that came in my early 40's. No, 50 is not too old. There are complications but did every one know that more Down's babies are born to women younger than 22 than older than 40. If a baby is in your heart then do it either by birthing or adopting. I think raising two is far easier than raising an only child but that is my bias. Good luck with your search.
Holly
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 8:09:21 PM
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I totally agree with you Holly, there can be complications at any age. However, some doctors are prejudice out of pure lack of knowledge or skill. That's why I think finding a doctor who this is normal practice for would not be a problem at all.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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camiesmommy
True Blue Farmgirl
113 Posts
Anne Jeannette
Stagecoach
NV
USA
113 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 10:20:50 PM
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I'm 55 and would not have considered having one at 50 (my back would never have held out) but agree that it's a personal decision. I will say, that my ex-husband was born to an older father and he actually resented that his dad could not do all those dad things (sports) that the other dads did because of his age. I think we just slow down as we get older. The question may not be are you too old today, but are you too old in 5 or 10 years to tackle the problems that growing children can pose?
Regardless of your decision, I admire you for wanting to bring a new life into this world.
A.J.
Work is love made visible. ~ Kahlil Gibran |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 13 2011 : 8:21:29 PM
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Hmmm I think activity is also very subjective. My dad is almost 60 and very active. In fact he kind of gets upset that the kids (youngest at home is 8), don't want to be as active as he and my mom are!
Usually the kids start complaining about being tired looong before dad and mom do!
Funny thing is I think my in laws thought the same thing...until they met my parents, and been around them, now they are like how do they keep going like that. Like water skiing ALL day on the lake every day or what have you.
Another funny thing is my husband's parents were actually teenagers when they had him, he was raised by his grandparents mainly, he loves them and they are old enough to be his great grandparents (same with my dad as well, raised by his grandparents too and they were in their 80's!). Neither of them resent their raising at all it doesn't seem. Of course my husband's grandparents are still very active, they still walk to the grocery store, they don't drive to the store! They only drive if something is more then 2 miles away, they walk to church even that is a mile away-three days a week! Dad's grandparents were very active too for their ages. Any way, the funny part about all this is the little time he did have with his dad apparently wasn't in much "play". My husband sees my dad NOW at his age "play" with my siblings, he "wrestles" with them, tickles them, runs around with them, they play paint ball together, he takes them hunting, etc etc etc. When my husband first started visiting my parents, I could almost hear the sorrow in his voice when he said to me, I wish I had a relationship like that with my dad. And I said like what, and then he said, how he and your little brother (that particular brother at the time was around 16 and dad was around 52 or so) are together, your dad just tackled him to the ground and they started wrestling, and then your brother got control and your dad started laughing and screaming elder abuse, elder abuse! lol haha (it was all in fun). Then my husband said, my dad never played with me like that. Again.....his dad was only 17 when he was born....... My dad still takes the kids on nightly bike rides, goes to all their games, works hard...just goes and goes and goes. I think age is pretty subjective to the person. My husband's parents are "young" but seem like stick in the muds, and are totally boring to be around when we force ourselves to be. My husband loves being around my parents who are significantly older then his but are FUN! And always on the go!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Aug 14 2011 : 1:49:50 PM
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Lots of good advice on here and the one thing I was going to mention would be to look into adoption as an alternative. It is not the same as going through the pregnancy but there are a lot of children out there that need a good home. I'll be 45 when my son is born and I do not want to go through this again. It has been an experience, but wow. We are both alright with that decision and that is what matters. Everyone's body is different and only you can decide if it is right for you mentally and physically.
Good luck,
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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KD Earthwork
True Blue Farmgirl
210 Posts
Katie
Gualala
Calif.
USA
210 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2011 : 4:21:55 PM
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I had a child when I was 45, almost 46, she's now 5 and entering school. Her dad is 62, I'm 51. He never had kids of his own, only raised two step children from adolescence. I accidentally got pregnant. I also have a 23 yr. old and a 15 yr. old. My feeling is that I'm really tired and I wish I had more energy and patience for her. But we also had to build a house and a farm while she was a child.
I think it's very challenging going through menopause with a small child. I really want to just have time to myself sometimes. I'm planning a three week trip BYMYSELF next spring. It sounds so glorious. Now I love her more than anything don't get me wrong and shes the apple of her daddy's eye. Plus her siblings including her step siblings all help out .
By the way the pregnancy was the easy part and shes very healthy and well and very smart.
http://www.rosemancreekranch.com |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Aug 17 2011 : 7:27:44 PM
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Good for you Katie. I think you'll have a great trip. If I had a child at 45 we could just drop me off at the nut house! We already have 6 between us. And don't go apologizing. Our alone/creative time makes us the good moms we are. Kids learn about self-entertaining and using their imagination when we aren't hovering over them every second of the day. It's o.k.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
Posted - Aug 18 2011 : 11:56:05 AM
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Hum- Lots of good advice. I'm still debating the subject with my DH. I tried to get him to have a child when we were 42. Did'nt want one then. Now here I am 50 and he,s bringing up the subject.
Well I think I might wait for a grandchild. I have one but remember she ran off with him to Montana. Still not coming back. Still have the attorney. Still praying and waiting! I think that is what started this. I was keeping him about 4 days a week since he was born up until he was 8 months old. We were having so much fun with him and then he disappeared out of our life. We were so distraught and sad over losing him. Well anyways maybe we were thinking we would just have our own and noone could ever take him from us. I know - sounds crazy. But I still think I am to old. So we will just wait for another grand child and maybe next time we will have better luck. Thanks for listening and the advice.
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
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alterationsbyemily
True Blue Farmgirl
686 Posts
Emily
Thomasville
PA
USA
686 Posts |
Posted - Sep 03 2011 : 9:19:08 PM
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My aunt and uncle adopted a baby boy at about the age of 50, they also have grandchildren. Always remember, there is someone who needs a loving home.
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Farmgirl #2951
Currently renting-farmgirl wannabe |
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CynthiaT.
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Cynthia
Alpena
Arkansas
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2011 : 3:20:03 PM
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I don't think 50 is too old, if you really want the baby. I am almost 40 and my DH is 40. We are looking for a baby to adopt. I think only you and your husband knows if you can deal with having a baby at your age or not. I say go for it if you want one!
Cynthia
Farmgirl sister # 852 |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Is 50 to old to have a baby? |
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Is 50 to old to have a baby?
