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Here's to Your Health:  HPV Vaccine for Boys????  |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
 Posted - Aug 01 2011 : 10:21:43 PM
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Oh my WORD! I had NO idea! Today I had to take my son in for his annual exam, and was presented with this paper from the nurse that my son was "due" for his HPV immunization? After reading the paper, I gently went to hand it back to her, and gently said, "Thank you, but he won't be having this vaccine." She - quite rudely - literally shoved the paper back at me and told me to deal with the doctor. No kidding. Then the doctor came in. Now, please understand, we love this doctor and have full confidence in him. I politely reiterated that we did not want our son to have this vaccine. A judgmental look came over his face. He became a little indignant because "all" boys get them now, apparently. It's supposedly the best way to protect our sons and their mates from passing the HPV virus... But... my son... he's not even dating yet! He likes girls and all, but he's more into golf, laser tag, football, baseball, swimming and video games! And even if he WAS dating, sex is not an option. We've raised him to respect himself and women. We've taught him values and the importance of chastity. We've explained how guys see things vs. how girls see things. We've discussed STDs. We've discuseed teen pregnancy (and he's seen plenty of it and is not impressed, may I add). He has friends who are sexually active, and he's appalled. We're doing it as right as we can. And even though at some point he is going to be confronted with a situation where he'll have to make a decision about sex, he's not ready to even THINK about this yet. The doctor said that this was the best time to give him the vaccine - BEFORE he becomes sexually active, so he will be protected if the occasion ever arises. I just looked down and nodded in utter disdain for what our youth are facing today. And he said, "What? You think he's not going to DO it???" He was really kind of off-putting - AND he said this right in front of my son, who turned seven shades of purple and red - partly out of embarrassment, partly out of anger at the insinuation. I laughed and said, no, I honestly don't believe he will, and then I turned ot my son, and joked, "You're going to become a priest anyway, right?" ;) He emphatically said, "NO! But I'm a little offended that Dr. ___ believes I'm 'going to DO it'!" The doctor tried to make him feel better by going on and on about how this will protect him from becoming a carrier, that this is just as a precaution to protect himself, yadda yadda yadda. My son just sat there stunned and I could tell he was really insulted. I was, too. I told the doctor very, very politely that I would take his recommendation under advisement and consider it carefully as well as discuss it with my husband. He was satisfied. I asked how necessary it would be for my son to have this right away? He said not at all - just BEFORE he becomes active. He further stated that since parents are usually the last to know (Yeah - not in THIS family - SORRY!) and usually in the dark, the sooner the better, just so he'll be "prepared."
I mean - Oh, my GOD!
When we left the office, my son said he wants a new doctor. The doctor is a good doctor - I actually have a lot of confidence in him. He's one of the good ones. And I know that the doctor means well and has what he believes is our son's best interest at heart, truly. But to sit there and basically say, "Don't be an idiot, Mom...He's gonna do it anyway... They ALL do!" PLEASE! I refuse to tell my son, "Well, no matter what we've instilled in you, I have no faith in you - I KNOW you're going to DO it anyway, so here, take this medicine so you don't get any girls infected along the way... Oh yeah, and by the way: while you're at it, have a box of condoms - just in case!" I'm not going to let my kid think I'm giving up on him, nor will I let him think I condone premarital sex. When the time comes, he will be at a crossroads where he's going to make that decision. I'm not going to let the memory of my voice saying, "Well, you're gonna do it anyway," ring in his head. It's just not going to happen. To me, that's like giving up on your kid, and giving your child a fatalist attitude about his actions - as if he will not have any self-control when the time comes. I don't believe that. He's not some animal who is lead by instinct alone! But, in all honesty, I realize my son will eventually have to make his own decisions. He will be informed. I have the utmost confidence in him and that he will make the right decisions when the time comes. I cannot control him, but I am not going to let him think I have no faith in him. I do trust our relationship enough to believe he would tell me if he was moving in such a direction. That may sound a little naive, but in all honesty, the kid tells us EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. I mean EVERYTHING. I just don't forsee "it" happening without him coming to us first to discuss it. Call me crazy - but that's honestly the way we roll.
I cannot even begin to tell you how enraged I am by this whole thing. <sigh>
But put all the issues of morality aside... I honestly was completely taken by surprise by this vaccine even being an option. What are all of your takes on all of this? I am really interested to know. A lot of my friends who have girls have been confronted with the female vaccine and, because they have the same convictions and reservations (about the vaccine itself) as we do, they have not opted to take it. I told the doctor this, as a matter of fact, and he scoffed and said that if any of my friends refuse to give this vaccine to their daughters, they are doing them a huge disservice and being very irresponsible. I just don't buy that for many reasons. But that's neither here nor there. What I am interested in is your take on the nature of this vaccine in general, as well as the "real" need (vs. imposed opinion) to ensure our sons - and daughters - have it.
I'm still so mad about the audacious attitude of the doctor today... I know he sees a lot more than we do, though. 'Guess dear ol' Mom must be going through some growing pains herself here, huh? LOL! I want to do the right thing, truly. But I don't believe it's necessary right now, that's for sure.
So... what do you think???
Thanks -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Aug 01 2011 : 10:57:41 PM
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I think you know your child 10000% better than any doctor does. When Nora was a baby and I KNEW she was getting sick and I called the doctor asking if they thought I was over reacting they told me that I would know my baby better than anyone and if I felt she needed to be seen- then I should bring her in... and every time I was right. She needed medicine.
So if your feelings are that he does not need the vacinne- I think you are right. I also think that you should respect your son's request for a new doctor. He will never ever trust that doctor again. I had a dentist pull something similar to that when I was in high school. I had had a bike wreck when I was 8 and then started having issues with one of my teeth in early high school. I was just barely sixteen and had to go to the dentist alone due to scheduling issues. The doctor told me he was going to have to pull one of my front teeth and then rattled off a list of ways to give me a more permanent solution. It was obvious he was gunning for an implant but at the time I was still reeling from the shock of having to have a tooth pulled. I told him I would have to discuss it with my parents. We came back a week later and I told him I wanted to hold off on the Implant and have a Maryland bridge. He told me there was no such thing and he had no idea what I was talking about. He tried to portray me as an idiot in front of my parents. So then I told them I wanted a second opinion from a different dentist in town. In the first 5 minutes of the other dentist examining, I explained what I wanted and he said "Oh yes, you are describing a Maryland bridge..." I still to this day get furious when I think of the first dentist who had been my dentist since I was very young. But once a medical professional crosses that line- the trust that is needed in a doctor/patient relationship is destroyed.
All of that to say- I think you are doing the right thing for YOUR son. He is not a cookie cutter of every other child out there. You and your son need to make the decision. You could always leave it in his hands and say if he wants the vacinne he can have it but that doesn't mean that he can or should have premarital sex. Your son sounds wonderful and it is great that he has such great communication with you.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 12:08:32 AM
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I had similar with my doctor from growing up about 20 years ago. He kept saying I was pregnant, when I was NOT. He said, every one deny's it. I said well I am NOT! He did pregnancy test, after test. Because I kept going in with nausea, stomach cramps-severe-knock me to my knees on the floor crying! (BTW, I had no pain medication for child birth and was not crying or in that much pain!) Any way, after two years of this, I said only elephants carry a baby for 2 years, I think it's time to start looking into other options, if I was pregnant don't you think I would of had this baby by now?!?! He finally said ok, and then gave me a colonoscopy from HECK! He did it in the office with out any pain medication and no twilight sleep etc (like GI drs do!). And kept telling me to relax, and things would go better, he also said if it hurt too much he would stop but I almost passed out from the pain when he started cutting out the biopsy's and begged for him to stop and he wouldn't. After that I never trusted him again and really hated having to go to him. BTW, all that time I had colon cancer! Yeah pregnant, uh huh! UHG!
He did a lot of other untrustworthy things too going against anything I said.......I used to think he was a "good" dr, every one around here loved him.
But, then I found out he had psychological problems (quite by accident I met a woman he almost married that let out a lot of things about him with out knowing I knew him). After looking back at ALL the things he had done with me as a patient I had kept thinking he was a "good" dr cause every one else loved him and trusted him so much, and he was even a dr/teacher for one of the leading medical colleges. But, really he was just a nut ball, I should of had a better doctor all that time. I had had a really good dr when I was really little but he died when I was about 9 and that's when I started seeing dr nut!
I would go along with your son too and find a different dr.
Since then, I have found older experienced doctors seem to be more yielding to my belief's and thoughts. Not trying to sound agist, I did have one doctor who was young that was quite cutting edge and nice. However, by and large I have found the older doctors have more confidence in themselves and in you as a patient. I think it's all that experience they have had, I don't know.
But, if I was you, you may want to ask around your circle of friends for a dr. That's what I did at La Leche League (cause I wanted a dr who was more natural would go along with my own conscience more etc). Any way so far I have been VERY happy with the suggestions I got at the LLL meeting on dr. In fact, I LOVE this dr more then any other I have had so far!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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lwm
True Blue Farmgirl
123 Posts
Loralie
Duncan
AZ
USA
123 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 12:13:40 AM
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| I'm with you. When my sons were in high school, the push was for HepB vaccines-same reasoning. We opted not to have them. Parents are not irresponsible because they refuse these vaccines. We are teaching our children that they need to be responsible for their actions. Personally, I think we're going overboard on vaccines. But that's just my opinion. Hold to your position. It is your child, your family. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 12:41:07 AM
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Loralie - that's so funny because when he was trying to justify the HPV vaccine, he asked if I realized that when our son was a baby we allowed him to be vaccinated for Hepatitis B - and they did so because it is a sexually transmitted disease and the vaccine would protect him in the future. I almost fell over - I had never heard before, ever in my life, that that was the reason for the Hepatitis B vaccine. I just sat there thinking, "You gave my baby - a BABY - a vaccine because of a sexually transmitted disease he might get in the future???" I never ever heard such a thing! When our son was an infant, we really struggled with the whole vaccine issue, to be honest. But back then the doctor was very patient and took time to explain everything... Although... I have to say... he never said anything about the HepB being necessary for sexual protection later in life... Dear Lord, if he HAD said anything like that... I can't even imagine what I would have done!!!
I'm so thankful you are all sharing your experiences with me, and that you're in agreement that the doctor was out of line. I had an experience with my family doctor a few years ago - he kept insisting I had bug bites when I knew I didn't. I finally went for a second opinion and was diagnosed with MRSA, if you can believe it. It took a while to get rid of it, too. I never went back to my original doctor again. I had put up with many years of him treating me like I was stupid only to find out I had been right all along; that last misdiagnosis COULD have cost me my life if it had gone untreated! Your posts reminded me of all of that - AND that I need to follow my intuition when it comes to things like this... It has never failed me yet (although, I have failed myself in not following it at times!).
My hubby just got home from work and I was sharing the whole doctor experience with him. He is very angry and upset over it, too. He thinks I should make a point of discussing this with the doctor, because he probably doesn't even realize what he ended up expressing in his message today. All I can think of is how the doctor probably felt he was upholding his Hyppocratic Oath by trying to keep my son healthy in this manner... But what about his psychological and moral health? What about the health of his self-image, self-esteem, self-worth and moral convictions? I know I'm not saying that right - it's late... I'm sorry. I just think kids are SO bombarded with sexual messages - on television, at school, through friends, etc. I just never thought the doctor would give that same message - "just do it," or "you're going to do it anyway." I still can't believe it. It does look like we'll be changing doctors. Alee you're right, my son needs to be able to trust AND RESPECT his doctor. Today that changed. But most importantly, I want him to trust and respect me and Dad... That's something that we absolutely cannot allow to change. :)
Hugs to all - thanks so, so much!
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 02:10:50 AM
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OUCH with the MRSA I had it for 2 years once, not fun at all! I think it severely compromised my immune system. That being said, yup exactly. Like I said I had many other situations like that too, the colon cancer was just one of them. The other thing I had he always just pushed off is I had a period that lasted almost 10 years. He kept saying it was because I was a kid (teenager) and that eventually I would outgrow it! Finally when I was 21, I asked how much older I needed to be to outgrow having a period all the time. I figured at some point I would want to get married and bleeding non stop may not be that good of a thing in a marriage! (not to mention the anemia that came with that!) Any way...come to find out there is PCOS in my family. Again thanks a lot for us not addressing this for nearly 10 years, even though I would bring it up every time I seen him all that time! BTW, all it took was taking some hormone therapy for a few months and my period was all normal like it should of been! UHG to think I bled for 10 years for no reason! UHG!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 07:50:00 AM
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Good for you for standing up for what you believe and having faith in your son. I have three children. When the vaccine was offered to my girls I emphatically said no and got a lot of grief from other people. Not sure about the US but here the advertisement also says it prevents cervical cancer, which it doesn't, it prevents the virus that may cause cervicial cancer. I have raised my children to have self respect and to not "sleep around" as so many of their peers do and have always have open and honest discussion about whatever and many times their friends are around as well. I heartily disagree with this vaccine as I believe it gives people a false sense of security and we don't know enough about it. I don't want my children to be guinea pigs with this vaccine. I think it is better to teach them self respect and give them the tools to make good decisions if and when they are in a situation where they become sexually active. Stick to your decision, you know your son better than anyone and from his response I would say he has a mature head on his shoulders.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 2:02:22 PM
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Ingrid you are right about false security. They say the same here about the cancer. But, the truth is, it only protects certain types of this virus, NOT all! So if they think it's ok to sleep around cause now they won't get it, they could get a different variety of the same virus and STILL get the cancer!
However, once it is tested and shown better for longer period of time. (takes a full 20 years to know the exact side effects of any given medication). I probably would give it to my girls, not because I think they would sleep around, as we are very against that ourselves. My husband was a virgin when we married. My dad did bring up a good point, is what if they are raped and the rapist had the virus. Good point, but again I would like to see what the long term side effects are first. BUT, if they were not bad I probably would think about it just to protect them in that way for the just in case of something like that happening to them.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 2:52:23 PM
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When I went into the military we were given a TON of immunizations , and had to get the HepB series, as I think most overseas travelers are supposed to as well. I didn't have a problem with that. When Gardisil first came out though I was just on the edge of ages that is was suggested to get the immunization. I did not opt for it. It is not that I am against immunizations at all (I know this is HIGHLY debated...just my opinion), I just felt I as a married woman did not need it. What I didn't like about it was that they seemed to neglect that it was a vaccination for an STI, not inasmuch cancer. I do realize it can LEAD to cancer, but the vaccine is for HPV...or genital warts. (I did healthcare when I was in the military, and being stationed with a bunch of young Marines I saw my fair share of STI ptients, so perhaps I am jaded).
As far as my child goes, luckily I have a few years before I have to cross that bridge. Hopefully by then there will be some more conclusive research. I think an open relationship where you are able to talk about these issues with our children is the most important part.
Liz
Farmgirl #1947
www.militaryfarmgirl.blogspot.com |
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 3:07:39 PM
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I say go with your gut. Always. Even if your doctor disagrees. There is a reason you feel the way you do, honor it. As mothers, we are given inspiration and guidance for our children. Sometimes we may not even understand ourselves why we feel the way we do only to find out later the reason we made a specific decision.
Do what you love, love what you do. |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 5:58:34 PM
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I work at a Catholic hospital, and if a doctor there told you something like that, he'd be booted out the door. I think it's really a shame that some adults assume that ALL kids are going to "do it". But doctors often make false assumptions--when I was first treated for depression back in 1986, the psychiatrist told me that I'd NEVER be able to hold down a job, that I'd never get better, and I should just accept it and live on disability for the rest of my life! I was only twenty-three, and here he was telling me to just give up on life. I quit seeing him and I went on to get a college degree and I've been working for the past seventeen years and i own my home and am involved in my community...too many doctors have a "God" complex, even the good ones.
And there are lots of kids who don't want the issues that go with being sexually active...I was one of them and I know some who are teenagers now who have told me that they don't want to "do it" until they're married. If i were you, I'd try to find a good Catholic doctor who doesn't make false assumptions about all kids. I'm not trying to convert you or anything, just that you might have better results with a doctor who follows his religious teachings. Hope you find someone you can trust.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 7:01:35 PM
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Definitely go with your feeling on this. I give lots of vaccines at work, and lots of the HPV. I give it mostly to girls, and we have a few boys who are getting it now. For the longest time insurance companies would not pay for the vaccine for boys (and some still are not, so if you are considering it be sure to check with your insurance or you may be responsible for the cost--over 100$--I think it's $197 or so, but could be off). Now Merck is saying that the HPV is responsible for penile cancers and some prostate cancers. So the HPV vaccine will protect boys from these as well as anal cancer so that (IMO) insurance companies will be more likely to pay for it and more parents will get it for their boys. I personally do not think that this vaccine is one that I would get or give a daughter (if I had one) and since I have a son, he will most certainly NOT be getting it. Right now HPV is not a required vaccine but it is recommended byt the CDC and AMA and peds associations and so MDs are pushing it. It's a big money maker for any practice. I also think that if your son really wants another MD you should check into it. Maybe he was having a bad day maybe not, it doesn't matter how "good" of a doctor he is to treat you like that is ridiculous and I would NOT go back.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps, if you are not willing to move your feet--Dr. Kioni
http://madame1313.wordpress.com/ |
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knittinchick
True Blue Farmgirl
1854 Posts
Megan
Wisconsin
1854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 02 2011 : 7:11:00 PM
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Nini, my Mom was told a few years ago that it was an option for me. I was only 12 at the time, and I had never even kissed a boy! My Mom also had reservations because the vaccine is so new and there's not a lot of research on the vaccine and the effects it has on the body. My doctor also knew me and my mother well enough to know that she was only telling us because it's part of protocol/right to information. Nini, I do think it's safe to say most teens are sexually active, but I don't think it's right that your doctor assumed things about your son and said that he would eventually 'do it'. I'm with Angie, go with your gut. Don't feel pressured to give your son the vaccine just because the doctor says you should. I also think it's wrong that this doctor condemned your friends who didn't get their daughters vaccinated. In this country, we have the right to get/refuse medical services unless it's required by law. That's a terrible thing to say they're being irresponsible. Good for you for sticking to your guns!
God's and Farmgirl's Blessings,
Megan
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal.
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work. |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Aug 03 2011 : 7:22:49 PM
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Hi girls -
I had typed out an email earlier and got booted off line… Drive me nuts…
Thank you for your support and insight on all of this, I really appreciate it. A few of my friends here at home don’t see this the way I do. It sure is nice to hear I’m not the only one who feels this way!
Cindy - You are SO right! kept thinking how on earth would I be able to find a good Christian doctor with good Christian values - they can’t advertise as such! And then when I read your post, I remembered that our next door neighbor is in the Knights of Columbus. He loves our son as a grandson, and always says he wants to sponsor him as a Knight when he turns 18 (no local youth chapter). If anyone has our son’s best interest at heart as well as good Catholic connections, it’s him! I’m going to speak with him as soon as possible. Thank you!!!
Rachel - isn’t that interesting that this vaccine is a great moneymaker for docs… I have to say, in all my years of knowing this doctor, and through all my airing of questions, concerns and doubts, he has NEVER reacted the way he did this time. Perhaps he has just seen too much in the young people these days, or perhaps it really is a money issue. I don’t know, but I sure do find that interesting!
Megan - You’re absolutely right. There are many, many teens out there who have succumbed to sexual pressures. I was discussing this with a friend today. She’s a mother of three beautiful, healthy girls who are committed to purity and chastity. She shared this awesome story with me. I shared it with my son, and I really want to share it with you here, too…
A little while ago, this friend was hosting her daughters’ teen Bible class for girls at her home. The youth counselor who came from their church to lead the study announced she had brought a really great treat for the girls. She presented them with a box of donuts, and asked one of the girls to choose the two she liked best. After the girl made her selection, the counselor asked her to choose which out of the two was her favorite. The girl made her choice and then the counselor said, “Okay - I bet you want to eat it. Are you sure that’s the one you want?” The girl emphatically nodded yes. The counselor said, “Okay. You can eat it, but before you do, I want you to pass it around to all the girls here so they can take a taste first.” The donut was passed from girl to girl in unwashed hands. Each tore a smidgen of the donut when it was handed to her, most favoring the part with the icing. One girl accidentally dropped it on the floor before it reached the original owner. When the first girl had the donut in hand, the counselor asked, “Okay… Do you still want to eat it?” The girl replied, “Nooo… I think I’d much rather have the other one.” Everyone laughed. Then the counselor said, “That’s the way, isn’t it? Nobody would choose the one we passed around, would they? Well, think of this donut like your boyfriend or the man you are potentially going to marry one day. Would you really want him if all your friends had touched him, if he had allowed himself to be sullied by other girls, and if other girls had taken pieces of his heart like that?” The room got very quiet.
Point made.
I think that is such an excellent, EXCELLENT example to share with our kids today. When I shared it with my son he said, “Wow, Mom. I never thought of it like that, but she was right. I’ll definitely remember that.” I’m sure he will!
Another friend said I was deluding myself, that I was being unrealistic if I thought my son would find a virgin out there to marry. I said I’m not being unrealistic, I just don’t think it’s impossible. This family I was speaking of earlier: I simply cannot believe that they are the only family in the world with the only three daughters in the world who are committed to chastity, any more than we are the only family in the world with a son who has made that same commitment.
We don’t need to make mistakes (or, to use the politically correct term: choices) ourselves to learn from them. My husband and I have been extremely forthcoming about all kinds of mistakes we made when we were younger, how they effected us, and the many regrets that come with them. Thankfully our son sees and understands because we respect him enough to be honest with him. He trusts us. He listens as we explain, he processes, he thinks for himself. Sadly, he also sees the effect of sexual relationships in the lives of so many of his peers. He‘s not impressed, thankfully. And Heaven knows that even what I consider to be some of the worst television programs out there portray many, many examples of the sad and life-altering repercussions encountered by sexually active teens. I realize Hollywood glamorizes and romanticizes the whole thing, but if we look carefully at what we’re really watching, how can we possibly miss the most obvious messages in these depictions?
There is just so much beauty and depth and profound meaning in the physical intimacy between a man and a woman; it’s meant to be sacred; it’s covenantal. Giving into lust is not rewarding; it is fleeting and empty. Waiting is just… worth the gift of love.
I have so much to say on this subject, but, I’d better stop here before I become to preachy. What it boils down to is, we’re not allowing him to have the vaccine administered. And shame on the medical professionals out there who refuse to believe in and encourage our kids for the choices they are making about chastity and abstinence. Perhaps if more people believed in and respected kids today, more kids would believe in and respect themselves.
A seedling can still thrive amidst weeds and thorns - it just needs to be one very strong seed that comes from good, healthy stock, and to be nurtured lovingly, fed well, and showered with plenty of light. :)
Hugs -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Edited by - Ninibini on Aug 04 2011 10:28:17 AM |
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levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9438 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9438 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2011 : 04:21:43 AM
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Nini, I applaud you for taking a stance and also for letting your son know you trust him. All we can do is teach them well. They have to make the decision and take a stand themselves eventually, but knowing he has his parents to stand beside him will go far to helping him do what he knows is right.
farmgirl sister#43
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
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Sheep Mom 2
True Blue Farmgirl
1534 Posts
Sheri
Elk
WA
USA
1534 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2011 : 4:55:17 PM
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I respect your stand however, one doesn't have to be sexually active to get HPV. Do the research - it can even be transmitted by a handshake or a kiss.
Blessings, Sheri
"Work is Love made visible" -Kahlil Gibran |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2011 : 7:45:49 PM
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Nini - I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with a pediatrician you thought you could trust. The doctor was wrong not to speak to you and your son with respect. To me, this isn't even an issue of who is going to choose to be sexually active or intimate (in any way) with someone in their lives. It is an issue of your rights as a parent and your son's right as a patient. Your son did not want this vaccine and YOU as his mother did not want this vaccine. End of discussion - it is YOUR RIGHT. Plus, I am assuming your son is a minor (under 18) and all moral debates aside, in my opinion (and most laws, by the way) no minor should be sexually active - in any way, shape or form. Besides, when your son is 18 he can get any vaccinations he wants "just in case."
I don't like doctors using pressure tactics for any reason. I agree with everyone else, that you should find a new doctor who will at least honor your wishes and those of your son without treating you like that!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Aug 04 2011 : 9:53:54 PM
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Hello girls -
Sheri - Thank you for sharing your concern, truly. You're right, we really need to do our homework on this kind of thing. I think, though, that you may have misunderstood how it is transmitted... I can't go into the delicate nature of the details here for obvious reasons, but here is one site you might want to check out, okay? :) http://www.hpvinfo.ca/health-care-professionals/what-is-hpv/transmission-of-hpv/
You're SO right, Suzanne! It is our right to deny the vaccine... I suppose since we homeschool I am a little bit over-sensitive when it comes to things like this. This was also the first time our doctor was using a laptop instead of a clipboard with forms... He asked questions like, "What kind of heat do you have?" "What is your drinking water source?" I was dumbfounded. Obviously, I have nothing to hide, but when I got home I discussed that with my husband and he was blown away. Why on earth do they need such information? And where does it go, exactly, once they plug it into that computer? I never signed up for any type of clinical study... why would they ask that? I guess I'm going to have to call and find out, because it has really been bothering me... Anyhow... My son is 15, actually. I was thinking the same thing - when he's an adult, he can make those choices for himself. And you're right about the legality of the issue, too! Hmmmmm.... Never even gave that a thought before!!! VERY good point!!!
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Edited by - Ninibini on Aug 04 2011 9:55:01 PM |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2011 : 06:42:03 AM
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The list of vaccines is increasing and scares me a bit as I get closer to delivery. Yesterday in the paper I saw where the Hep B shot is mandatory for school now (hadn't planned on giving that one). It is out of hand and you can only follow your gut.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2011 : 4:41:33 PM
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Laurie, Mandatory, is kind of relative. Often you can get around it for "religious" reasons, when you fill out the forms. I feel any strong beliefs you have can be considered "religious". As I religiously brush my teeth daily......etc. So.....
You will have to sign some papers of taking full responsibility for your child and any illness they get from refusal of such etc. But, that's about it.
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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knittinchick
True Blue Farmgirl
1854 Posts
Megan
Wisconsin
1854 Posts |
Posted - Aug 05 2011 : 9:37:26 PM
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Nini, I love that story! I'm 15 as well, and I think that Hollywood glamourizes being sexually active. But it never shows the knitty gritty of it. Proper protection is never discussed (though I believe that you should wait until you're married all together), and consequences such as STIs and pregnancy are never shown. And if teen pregnancy is shown, it is usually glamourized as well. I think the only true glimpse into what life as a teen mother really is like are shows like 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom, and even that can be glamourized as well when girls think, "Hey, I can get pregnant at a young age and then be on tv!" My Mom told me about this one girl on the news who said she got pregnant just so she could be on a television show. She didn't get on the television show, and now she has to care for a baby for the rest of her life. Sorry that was a touch off subject, but I definitely agree about how nonchalant Hollywood is about teens being sexually active. I see shows like Teen Mom and see that it is definitely not like the movies. Thanks for the story Nini!
God's and Farmgirl's Blessings,
Megan
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal.
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work. |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 06:55:32 AM
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Nini - I was also thinking of what a good example you set for your son by standing up to the doctor about this. You are trying to teach him to weigh decisions carefully and not act contrary to his beliefs or hastily just because someone pressures him to do so, right? And here the doctor was trying to strong arm the both of you into doing what HE wanted rather than honoring your beliefs or at least giving you time to consider and weigh the options. By standing firm and walking away to discuss it as a family showed your son that YOU act in a way that you want HIM to act. As bad as the experience was, here you were given a blessing to be able to show your son concretely how to behave as a strong individual in this world!
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
Posted - Aug 06 2011 : 07:51:55 AM
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Megan, You are very right about the glamour of Hollywood. My niece had to turn off the show "16 and pregnant" because where it started as a good concept of what not to do, it has now switched to let's see how cool it is to be pregnant and young. It's sad really. There is so much to life and yes, children are part of that, but I firmly believe in discovering who you are before adding another life to your charge.
Laurie
http://www.inntheorchardbnb.com/ |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 09:12:26 AM
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Thank you so much, girls.
Excellent observations, Megan!!! You GO girl! I think the more Hollywood normalizes and glamorizes the less-than-ideal, the more kids - and even parents - become accepting of those behaviors as the norm - almost expecting or condoning them to happen. It's so sad how kids and parents are sold so short today and buy into that thinking. I'm not saying things don't happen - they do. We see it all the time. But the reality is rarely shown in its true light, and the encouragement to stand strong is rarely found in the media. And I really think we need to give our kids and families more credit and more of a fighting chance.
Suzanne - I hadn't thought of it that way, but I am so glad you pointed that out. Thank you! We try - TRY - to live by example. We're far from perfect, but we try.
Funny you say that, Laurie - we turn off so many of those shows because of the messages they send - ESPECIALLY the ones that make parents look like dorky, stupid, fools. SO many programs do that. So much for that particular network - ABC Family??? Family??? Wow. Years ago when it was the Family Channel, it had so many wonderful programs with excellent messages. Now it's a mockery of what family is or should be, at least in my book. So sad.
Hugs to all -
Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Edited by - Ninibini on Aug 12 2011 2:10:01 PM |
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LuckyMommyof5
True Blue Farmgirl
500 Posts
Suzanne
OH
USA
500 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 1:55:33 PM
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Funny you should say that, Nini - my husband and I always laugh when we see something advertised for ABC Family because that network seems to be so anti-family. If I were a teen today I would be offended by the media portrayal of that age group as mean, sex-crazed, shallow individuals who perpetually make bad choices. And I miss the Family Channel, too.
Farmgirl Sister #3243
"The real things haven't changed. It is still best to be honest and truthful; to make the most of what we have; to be happy with simple pleasures; and have courage when things go wrong." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Aug 12 2011 : 2:10:22 PM
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Amen to that, Suzanne! Amen to that! :)
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Here's to Your Health: HPV Vaccine for Boys???? |
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HPV Vaccine for Boys????
