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Family Matters:  Being in the Middle  |
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PicketFence
Farmgirl in Training
13 Posts
Arline
Walla Walla
Washington
USA
13 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 19 2011 : 06:42:08 AM
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We have four children. Two are young adults, two are teens. This last month my parents came to share our acre with us. Momma has Alzheimer's and Daddy needs help with her care.
Anyone else with kids still at home and who are taking care of their parent(s)?
To me, thus far, it is PURE joy! My Momma is pretty easy still. And it's so much fun to have them both around all the time. I love it! (And no, I don't expect it will always be "fun". HELLO!?)
I'd love to meet other women who have cared for their parents. My parents and grandparents did it. My husband's parents did, too... this seems VERY natural to both of us.
Would love to hear your stories!
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Tall Holly
True Blue Farmgirl
2305 Posts
Holly
Worcester
Vermont
USA
2305 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2011 : 2:59:33 PM
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I grew up in a multi generational household. My grandmother and great aunt lived with us. I didn't know how special it was until I was an adult and not wish I could have the same situation now.
We do care for our elderly neighbor who has demetia. She lives in her own home a mile away. We are her family and before she lost her cognitive skills she arranged for us to be her guardians if she ever became incapable. We have arranged for home health to come in everyday and do what ever needs to be done. her verbal skills have rebounded some since home health came into the picture and she is not so lonely although after they leave each day she forgets they were there. It will not be long until we will need someone there all the time. she is so different now than when she had cognitive skills.
We still have children at home and while she always tolerated the children before now she likes to play with our three year old and sing songs with him.
I am glad your Mom is still nice. I hope she stays that way.
Holly
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missusprim
True Blue Farmgirl
400 Posts
Karen
Fostoria
Ohio
USA
400 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2011 : 6:28:36 PM
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Arline, we're not where you are yet but I suspect we will be at some point in the next few years. But first let me say that your parents are very fortunate to have the opportunity to live with you, and just as importantly - that you and your DH share the same kindhearted ideals.
DH and I have had several talks where we know that this is where we're going and that we would readily welcome my parents if this is what is needed. We know how precious life is, and how important a bond can be between two people and how heartbreaking it would be to live apart in whatever scenario.
My maternal grandparents took care of his mother in their home. I have fond memories of walking over (they lived around the corner) to their house to visit her and to always have a lemon drop from her candy dish. And I never heard my grandparents speak of her as a burden - it was just what good people did (and do). It was a given. Unfortunately, I believe our society of falling from this practice of kindness and all too often place our loved ones into homes. :(
My Dad has had several strokes and requires virtually all care from my Mom, who is thankfully, still in very good health. It is hard for him to walk very far and some days it's all he can do to get from one side of the room to the other. They're both in their mid 70's but Mom is no spring chicken and can only do so much. I always fear her getting sick as I know she worries more about Dad's welfare than her own, which only adds pressure on her.
Your having kids at home is a wonderful learning experience and fantastic example that you can give them! I'm sure an honest talk with them about what is to come would help the transition when times get hard or in difficult situations. And how lucky they are to have Grandma and Grandpa with them.
Enjoy them both and you'll be in my thoughts! Keep us posted on how things are going will ya?
Farmgirl Sister #2984
"Animals are such agreeable friends - they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms." George Eliot
http://farmchicatheart.blogspot.com/
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Jul 19 2011 : 6:49:55 PM
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You are so unbelievably lucky. I'm in a family that will never be that way. All the "family is everything" relatives have passed away. You are truly blessed.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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mydakota
True Blue Farmgirl
152 Posts
kristi
redmond
oregon
USA
152 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2011 : 11:36:53 AM
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My aging parents live across my pasture/drylot from me. They are my neighbors to the south. I love it. My folks are still very active and vital, and for that I am grateful. When they no longer are? They are right next door. It is a comfort to me.
HearthCricket Farm. Where the door is always open, and the coffee is always on. |
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farmmilkmama
True Blue Farmgirl
2027 Posts
Amy
Central MN
USA
2027 Posts |
Posted - Jul 28 2011 : 12:22:22 PM
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Although we aren't at the point of dealing with dementia or alzheimers or major health issues, we do live in a multi generational home. We had plans for multi-generational for later in life but because of the economy, that decision came earlier. We have now been living together for four years next month. So our house is comprised of 7 and 8 year old kids, 32 and 34 year old mom and dad, and 50 and 52 year old grandma and grandpa. Its an interesting set up and there are days when its tough, but I seriously wouldn't change it for anything. :)
--* FarmMilkMama *--
Be yourself.
Everyone else is already taken.
-Oscar Wilde
www.farmfoodmama.blogspot.com
www.thehmmmschoolingmom.blogspot.com |
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Family Matters: Being in the Middle |
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Being in the Middle
