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Across the Fence:  How do you connect with your neighbors?  |
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sunshine7
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
nikki
Northern
wyoming
USA
25 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 09:45:39 AM
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Hi,
We live pretty far out from townships and such. My Hubbie and I with our kids have lived on our land for 4 years now. I am enjoying the peace and quiet, but feel like we haven't connected with our rural community.
How do you ladies connect and make friendships..
I am thinking of inviting some neighbors e over for a bratwurst party or garden party.I just don't know if we will all chit- chat or listen to the crickets chirp in the back ground. Any ideas?
Thanks! |
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karla
True Blue Farmgirl
1308 Posts
karla
Pella
Iowa
USA
1308 Posts |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 10:27:30 AM
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Nikki, I know how you feel. I have lived way out here in the cove for 7 years and have just started making friends in the last year. I really have felt like an outsider. People say it takes at least 10-15 years for outsiders to feel like they belong here. We have actually lived in the area for 32 years but moved out here 7 years ago. People don't come to welcome you here. And we didn't go to church out here either. So we would go every now and then to the church down the road. The I got asked to come to a Bible study with a group of older ladies. I really felt like I was a part of the community then. And we started going to the community dinners once a month up the road at the center. And I started walking on the road last Aug and a lady stopped and asked if I'd like to walk with a group up the road. And I did. So little by little I feel like I finally do belong out here. And getting help from neighbors is good too. Plus getting hay and other things from them. I have wanted to have a cookout or bin fire or something here. Just need to get up the nerve to invite people now.
You should go ahead and just do it. And let me know how it turns out and I will too.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 11:01:09 AM
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The best way I have ever found to meet people as an adult is to get involved in a community church. When I lived in oregon I was in an incredible non denominational community based church that was all about fellowship, growing in our faith, and BEING ACTIVE! We had "sunday meeting" on evenings--which was much easier for our community to make it to than early mornings, then we had "life groups" on different days of the week, and we had at least one or two charity events where we actively served the interests of the poor and the community. There we met and were involved with other people outside our "church circle". We also had people from other churches who would participate in our life groups. It was great for diversity and connections. I hope I manage to find another church like it where I end up.
If you ever visit a church and it doesn't make you feel welcome, move on. If you ever visit a church inside a permanent building and they bring up "the building fund" in and around the sermon, move on.
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
http://silvermoonfarm.blogspot.com/
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 11:11:18 AM
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We just moved onto our land in February and I've toyed with similar ideas (inviting everyone in the neighborhood to come meet "the new neighbors"). I get the feeling that most of the people in my rural neighborhood don't know each other except to wave as we drive by and even that's pretty seldom as it seems no one is ever outside. I've also thought about just inviting the women to a mid day tea but I'm not sure how many stay at home wives there are. Ugh! Isn't meeting new people hard?
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 2:53:16 PM
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Be sure you have vegetarian options and different kinds of meat, chicken, beef, and pork maybe.
I have been invited to several 'block party' type events and was unable to eat due to there bein no meat options for me and everything was covered with bacon. There are several religions that don't allow pork and don't allow red meat.
These type of get togethers can be very good and bring people together. Just be prepared to ask people to leave if they decide to use your place as a drink fest.
I've only had theat happen once, and a neighbor stepped in for me before I had to.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Jul 15 2011 : 3:06:07 PM
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My friend organized a neighborhood yard sale by leaving a flier at each neighbor's house. Maybe you could do something like that or a flier to meet at your house or public location for knitting/quilting/get to know each other. You might have to do several of these before people will join in. You have to create a level of trust that it's not a one time thing. I agree it's awkward to step out of our comfort zone, but if you want to meet others you sometimes just have to grin and bear it.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2011 : 08:04:09 AM
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I've been feeling the need for making connections with the neighbors lately too. I grew up in a very social rural neighborhood with a lot of kids that all went to school together and there were a lot of activities that revolved around school. This was also true when my children were at home. But now my kids are grown, and a job transfer has taken us to a new state. My job keeps me 30 miles away from home Monday through Friday, so I am not home during the day to invite the neighbors over for coffee as my mother used to do. We've been here a year and a half.
I did join a church when we moved here, but most of the members live in town, not the five miles away where we live. I'd like to know about the people who live on my road! I have made acquaintance and budding freindship with our immediate next-door neighbor because of some shared concerns over drainage and gardens. I introduced myself to the woman who lives behind us one day when I saw her on the front porch,and she seemed quite friendly. I haven't seen her outside since, and that's been a year ago! Unfortunately, I had the opportunity to introduce myself to the neighbor on the other side when I had a complaint about their animals on our property.
I had a letter soliciting a contribution for the Heart Association from a neighbor three doors down. I looked up her phone number and called (left a message on voice mail) saying I'd love to contribute and I would be glad to come down and bring a check to her house so that I could make her acquaintance as a new neighbor. She never replied, maybe I was too aggressive, or she was too fearful.
Do you think it would be all right for me to bake a loaf of bread and take over to introduce myself to the people across the street? Or is that too direct?
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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sunshine7
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
nikki
Northern
wyoming
USA
25 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2011 : 2:00:01 PM
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Hi, thanks for your replies. I do think Brenda you should bake a loaf a bread and introduce yourself. I am with a lot of people. I think it is hard, but I have planned a garden party for next week, now I am going to send out some invites, collect some party food and I will let you know how it goes! I think it is hard to meet new people like Audrey said, I think making friendships and new connections is like nursing your garden, feeding and watering it only makes it bigger and healthier. I have thought about the community church but it is in the next township and that makes it difficult.
Thanks Ladies.. more ideas are welcome!!
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2011 : 3:09:13 PM
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We live in a rural area too. Things that I have done for breaking the ice is gifting the neighbors with preserves or homemade bread, vegetables and herbs from the garden. Just to open the door. I think that a Garden Party sounds perfect Brenda!
~Sharon
By His Grace, For His Glory
http://merryheartjournal.blogspot.com/ |
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2011 : 8:23:36 PM
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Let us know how the party turns out. I think it's a great idea. I should try to connect with my neighbor. Her dog is now my dog's girlfriend. Don't worry, he's fixed. I don't understand why everyone just stays inside and sticks to themselves.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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brightmeadow
True Blue Farmgirl
2045 Posts
Brenda
Lucas
Ohio
USA
2045 Posts |
Posted - Jul 17 2011 : 9:04:04 PM
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Well, be the change you want to see in the world, right?
I got out the flour canister this morning and went to work making coffee cakes and applesauce bread. Took them to three different neighbor's houses and introduced myself.
Surprisingly, each of them knew a lot more about my husband and myself than I knew about them! I told them I thought it was about time I introduced myself. I explained since we didn't have kids in school, I didn't really know how else to get acquainted. I told them I just wanted to let them know if they needed a neighbor they could call on us. One neighbor offered to let us use his tractor if we needed it, and the other said he and his wife would invite us down for drinks, or we could come and swim in his pool if we wanted. Wow!
You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands - You shall be happy and it shall be well with you. -Psalm 128.2
Visit my blog at http://brightmeadowfarms.blogspot.com ,web site store at http://www.watkinsonline.com/fish or my homepage at http://home.earthlink.net/~brightmeadow |
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Across the Fence: How do you connect with your neighbors? |
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How do you connect with your neighbors?
