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Parenting & Farm Kids:  Neighbor kids? Manners?  |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
 Posted - Jul 01 2011 : 8:41:26 PM
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Hi ladies!
We have some neighbors that moved in next door. It's a single dad with two kids. The son is about 6 or so and the daughter is around 9. The daughter has high functioning aspergers syndrom and the boy is very high energy.
Neither of them has very good manners. They keep yelling at each other and demanding things between them. Whenever I hear them doing this, I correct them gently. Like I will say "We need to ask please and thank you when we are talking to each other to be kind" then if they still don't get it I will single them out and say "Joe, you need to say 'Please don't' "Sky, did you hear your brother- could you answer him please" etc.
Do you think this is stepping into more than the neighborly role? Nora is playing with these kids every night and I don't want her to start using such horrible manners. These kids also brought me my mail without me asking them to check my mail box and walk inside and make themselves comfrortable is anyone opens the door. They are at heart good kids but have some serious boundary issues.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2011 : 10:29:44 PM
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well that goes with aspurgers, the social cues are not there, and neither is boundaries (again boundaries are a social cue thing). I don't think reminding them is a bad thing, the only thing is.....it's going to take a while. It takes a while to get those pathways well established in their brains (being told the same thing about such, over and over and over and over and over again, many many more times then a brain that doesn't have this condition). So you can do it, and it would be good for them later on to have some one help them with this (some one=you) as they will need this later on in life as well if looking for a job and what have you out in the real world. But, at the same time don't expect the change to come any time soon!
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2011 : 04:53:44 AM
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Thanks for the encouragement, heather! I can tell it will be a long road. The other day I told the boy it was almost eight thirty and time to go home and he said well what is the exact time. I told him I did not I did not have a clock with me but it was time for him to go home. He said why don't you just tell me the exact time? I told him I had already told him what I could and he had to go...now. End of discussion. So then he looked at me like "huh. Why aren't we still arguing?"
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2011 : 06:42:15 AM
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Alee I am having the same problem! Sometimes I want to just play with Rosemary by oursleves. So I devised a system: when my retractable laundry line is out that means we are outside, but can't play right now.
I think if the kids are at your house and the dad isn't around you have every right to correct their actions. Things are done a certain way at your house, and that needs to be respected. Like Heather said, you are probably going to be a great help and an outstanding role model for them.
Liz
Farmgirl #1947
www.militaryfarmgirl.blogspot.com |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2011 : 07:50:50 AM
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The way his brain processed that whole interaction was probably totally different then your side of it. He probably didn't even think he was having a argument with you, he probably just thought he wanted to know the time. lol haha
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jul 02 2011 : 08:06:37 AM
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Alee, it's so good that you have such patience. And these kids need someone like you in their lives. I am so glad you are there for them. I would talk to the dad and tell him what's going on and that you don't mind them playing with your Dd but they need some kind of boundaries and rules if they are to be in your house. Dad needs to know this in case the kids say you are being too mean or too bossy. Things like that get all turned around and it could be bad for you. So make sure dad knows what's going on. You are so sweet to even be concerned about them. Sounds like they need a loving lady in their lives right now. Good for you. And with them at your house, they need to follow YOUR rules.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Tall Holly
True Blue Farmgirl
2305 Posts
Holly
Worcester
Vermont
USA
2305 Posts |
Posted - Jul 11 2011 : 5:01:31 PM
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The children who come to our house know that they must follow our rules and are fine with it. If the rules are not followed I get on my children because they should be responsible to their friends and making sure that their friends are safe. They do not like to be responsible because they do not want their friends to not like them but taking care of a friend is important.
Holly
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Parenting & Farm Kids: Neighbor kids? Manners? |
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Neighbor kids? Manners?
