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Across the Fence:  homeless-hungry-scared-how to help?  |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
 Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 07:27:41 AM
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well i have been praying for direction. so here i am--back to my friends to ask...HOW DO I HELP??
it goes like this, a sweet gentle spirited young woman has been visiting the animals through the fence. we have chatted on occasion. she shared with me her plight. she is having to move into her car. she quit her job. new owners at the motel were replacing everyone. she was the last. she felt harrassed and abused so she quit. she has had to appeal unemployment. they are saying no since she quit the job.no local family. the ones she has far away dont want her. they are broke also. she is maybe 30ish. she will be homeless and sleeping in her car. i had said she could come work for food. my concern is.... what can i do to help her? i cant offer her to live here. i am a loner at heart. i want to save her. i know its not my place. it is so sad. she sits and pets the babies on the fence and cries. she had been at the motel cleaning for 13 yrs. she is like me not the sharpest tack in the box. she has 57 applications out for work. what else can i do for her. for a woman i know to be homeless in less than 30 days. wow =what to do??? thanks girls concerned sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 07:41:46 AM
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People come into our lives for a reason. I am a loner at heart as well and it is difficult to have others around. But on the other hand she is obviously in need and according to your animals she is a good person. You know, critters and kids always have good instincts towards people. Can she just park her car at your place and pitch a tent or something like that so she is not in your house. It would be safer for her. I don't know just some thoughts to consider.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 07:45:07 AM
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Sherrye, what you're doing right now, talking to her, treating her like a person--"seeing" her is a tremendous start. Keep offering her work for food, but also keep your own personal boundaries and be safe. Bless your good heart.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Okie Farm Girl
True Blue Farmgirl
1674 Posts
Mary Beth
McLoud
Oklahoma
USA
1674 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 07:49:19 AM
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Sherrye, I can't tell you what you should do. But I guess if it were me - just thinking of alternatives here - I'd be either getting her to a place that can do a professional looking resume for her or I'd do it for her myself. Then, I would check out hotels that are hiring and have her hand deliver them. I hate that she quit her job because unemployment really doesn't kick in unless you've been fired or laid off. Plus, she won't get a good recommendation from her former employer. But you might let her work around your place a little and then you can give her a recommendation if she is a good worker. You can also take her to the DHS office where they will fix her up with food stamps and medical and there is a program (Title something-or-other) that provides rent money to specific rent locations. There are also churches that do the same thing. The biggy, though, is finding her a job so that she doesn't have to feel dependent. That will boost her more than anything. Good luck and bless your for caring.
Mary Beth
www.OklahomaPastryCloth.com
www.Oklahomapastrycloth.com/blog
The Sovereign Lord is my strength - Habakkuk 3:19 |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 07:54:18 AM
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Sherrye - I am wondering if there is a women's shelter in your area that might be willing to let her stay until she regains her footing? We have both a wonderful mens' AND women's shelter in our area that are such blessings to the community. They aren't "advertised," per se, but if you look in your area's blue pages or call the county, they might be able to help you help set her in the right direction. They often help with life skills, clothing, living arrangements, food, job skills and sometimes even with finding jobs. I will keep her in my prayers. Hugs - Nini
Farmgirl Sister #1974
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
www.papercraftingwithnini.myctmh.com
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 07:58:27 AM
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i cant add anything right now other than to second the suggestions made...allowing her to park on your property for a time and/or pitch a tent...use your shower...
is she losing her home due to lack of money or is she voluntarily moving out? DHS sometimes has emergency monies if she is bein evicted.
does she have any dreams or goals??? did she want to just always work at the motel?
listening to her and offering guidance ...you cannot DO for her-but watching and helping her to do for herself....those are wonderful deeds on your part!
bless you!
Farmgirl # 2139
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 08:02:18 AM
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The best and safest thing to do is help her navigate the system to get the financial and social support she needs. I'm talking food stamps,housing and job placement. If she is truly what she seems to be they can help her through the hardest part. Jonni is right. Having someone care about her is the biggest gift you can give. Allowing someone into your home and life is risky, especially knowing so little about her. Offering food for work is a good compromise. She is not homeless yet it sounds like. Give her a chance to solve that problem on her own. She may have options that just aren't as attractive to her as you and your farm. Be firm that staying with you is not an option and see what happens. You can always change your mind if it feels like the right thing to do after you have more info about her.
My experience with this is that if she resists the "system" she has something to hide. When that happens I hear the line from Lost In Space "Danger Will Robinson! Danger!" Complete with waving robot arms. : )
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 08:19:19 AM
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oh my goodness, you girls rock. thank you so much for such fine ways to help. i shall do many of them to start. she finds peace with my animals. she does not need me there. she can even receive it through our fence. she is a gentle spirit. i also sometimes forget that it is not up to me who comes in my life. it is Gods. so thanks and keep the ideas coming. belle is screaming moos. she wants to go to pasture. i will check in later. i feel lighter hearted after hearing so many ways i can help her. i dont even know her name yet. sherrye (names are not my strong point)
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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FarmDream
True Blue Farmgirl
1085 Posts
Julie
TX
USA
1085 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 08:29:30 AM
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Maybe offer her some sanitary needs. Does she need some clothes washed? Does she have soap, shampoo, toothpaste? And everything else already said above.
~FarmDream is Farmgirl Sister #3069
Live Today, Cherish Yesterday, Dream Tomorrow
http://naturaljulie.etsy.com
http://julie-rants.blogspot.com |
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Dirtduchess
True Blue Farmgirl
693 Posts
Patsy
Decatur
TX
USA
693 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 10:15:26 AM
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I would talk to some local churches about helping her. Don't just send her to try to get help. When things such as this happens to me I use the same solution. What if that woman was my daughter? How would I want the people in her life at this time to treat her? I pray and then act. The situation is usually solved to some extent. Hope for the best, but remember some people aren't inclined to do their best even when people try to help them. Good luck. You have a kind heart. Wish you were my neighbor.
http://myramblingcountryheart.blogspot.com |
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Heartbroken farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
604 Posts
Annette
rio vista
Ca
USA
604 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 10:42:50 AM
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You've gotten such wonderful advice. Your concern for her is indicative of your kind heart. I know you will be a blessing to her. Thank you for caring about her, and for posting this, so the rest of us can pray for you both, and the situation.
The tears I shed then, watered the flowers I harvest now.
www.broken908.blogspot.com
http://forums.familyfriendpoems.com/broken908
"The aim of education is the knowledge not of facts but of values."-Dean William Ralph Inge |
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Merry
True Blue Farmgirl
765 Posts
Merry
Ankeny
Iowa
USA
765 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 2:53:29 PM
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I second the womens shelter and churches. Many churches in the same area do a rotation in the summer for homeless people, clothing, housing, feeding and helping them find jobs. You can help without moving her in, ask around about jobs, maybe house cleaning or garden work? You are a good lady, keep up the good work!
Merry
Farmgirl #536
http://afarminmyheart.blogspot.com/
Your life is an occasion, rise to it. Mr. Magorium |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 3:47:38 PM
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Sherrye you are such a kind soul and you know the universe sends us those folks. I agree with everyone and their wonderful suggestions. I would also say you know your heart and I am sure you will know to be also safe... Please keep us in the loop because we can all learn from this experience... Blessings to you my kind sweet friend.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 6:40:22 PM
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howdy girls, well her name is laurie. she is very sweet. i gave her a mini farm tour. showed her how we sort the produce for the livestock. she was good with it. so i sent her home with oranges cantaloupe beets lettuces etc. she was thrilled. she plans on going to neighbor impact tomorrow. it is the place to go first. i will be writing all the ideas down for sure. thanks so much. well gotta milk hazel. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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vegetarian farmer
True Blue Farmgirl
249 Posts
Jane
Freedom
pa
USA
249 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 7:24:02 PM
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Reading this really struck a cord with me. Several years ago there was a couple in their 60's who had found themselves homeless. The husband had cancer and they no longer could afford a place to live. They were parking their station wagon at a closed down weigh station on the highway just a few miles from my house. Someone had to notice them because we just do not have many homeless in this area. It was a hot summer night and the couple kept the back of the car open for a breeze. At some point their beloved basset hound wandered from the car and was struck and killed by a car. The wife ran to the highway to collect her dog and in the dark of the night, she too was struck and killed. The driver never stopped and it took 9 months to find the driver who stated they though they just hit a deer.
I had not known that the couple was parking at the weigh station, but I told myself that if I ever saw someone in need again that I would do my best to help them. I was haunted by this story because, had I known, I could have at least offered them a safe place to park here on the farm. Maybe things could have turned out differently. I know it is difficult to trust people these days, and I am not sure what the best avenue is to take with this girl. But I do know that sometimes even a little kindness can make the largest difference. I hope everything works out for the girl. Best of luck to you.
Jane
http://hardworkhomestead.blogspot.com/ |
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BalancingAct
True Blue Farmgirl
297 Posts
Jackie
Hoosierville
USA
297 Posts |
Posted - Jun 29 2011 : 9:32:37 PM
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Can you barter? Do you trust her on your farm? She could do some "cleaning".
Farmgirl Sister #2851 -"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2011 : 5:50:39 PM
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Something just struck me, are you the Funny Farm lady?? If so, I deliver brick just across the road from you several times a month!!
As for the girl, I guess I would buy her some food and call around for her. I'm trying to think of the jobs I've seen advertised while I'm going down the highway. Places are starting to hire but maybe not in your/her neck of the woods. Does she have her HS diploma?? I'm pretty sure churches and other help orgs have a way to help her but she has to help herself too.
Just because I'm out on the road, I'd be careful of ANYone you don't know parking/using your place to camp. You never know about them or who they may know that might show up. Which I'm sure you know already.
But, get her some chow and hygeine things, make some calls and then it's up to her. You're very sweet to want to help her!! 
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com . Now with pictures!!
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Jun 30 2011 : 9:11:56 PM
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It's so important just to have someone care in Laurie's situation.
I agree with all the advice the ladies have given. You have an opportunity here to act as Jesus's hands in this girl's life. In your situation, I'd try to do as much for her as he would do himself. But it's important to remember, that when Jesus healed people, they met him halfway. Everything you do must be to augment her own independence. It's reasonable to offer her work in exchange for food, and to find her a safe place to sleep. It is not reasonable to "adopt" someone you barely know.
I'm sure if she is as you describe her, completely overwhelmed. She probably just needs someone to set her on a path.
"The greatness of a nation and it's moral progress can be judged by the way it's animals are treated." ~Gandhi
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
Edited by - Dusky Beauty on Jun 30 2011 9:31:28 PM |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2011 : 07:14:29 AM
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winona, wow you are so close to us. we are not the funny farm. our place is a mile in from highway 97. if your around let me know. i would love to meet you. papa is a brick mason. we know all the guys ar greystone. i bet thats where you deliver too. if you want i can email my phone number. it would be fun. even if only for a few minutes. we have a spot you can park a big rig. thanks for all the ideas girls. she went to neighbor impact. they are going to help with electric. she is waiting for an unemployment appeal to be decided. i hope they help her. so we have 3 families waiting for produce this am. its end of month so folks need stuff now. after the holiday there will be a lot. we are so happy to have all this produce for our animals and folks who need it. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Jul 01 2011 : 07:42:44 AM
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I sent you an email and let me know if you received it. I can be computer challenged and mess things up, y'know... :-)
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com . Now with pictures!!
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Across the Fence: homeless-hungry-scared-how to help? |
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homeless-hungry-scared-how to help?
