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Family Matters:  Why is it...  |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 5:37:20 PM
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that the person being abused is the last person to see they are being abused? They will go to their graves denying that they were ever abused.They will cover it up so well that people wonder if maybe they are wrong. They will hide their bruises. The abuser never hits someplace that will be seen. It's so sad. And very frustrating if you are a family member of an abused person. And I think my oldest daughter is being abused by her husband. Mentally more than physically right now. And that is really worse than being hit.
He is saying all kinds of bad things about her family and friends to her. Like we are the bad guys and he's the only one who loves her. He is trying to make her have another break down like he has before. But she isn't seeing this. He also makes everything look lke it's her fault. He is very controlling. And it's getting worse.
She had left him about a month ago,When she told him she had found a job. He just went crazy. I heard him when she called me. That's all I could hear was him. Then she called her dad who was home at the time. Of course he went and her and her DD Kansas came back with him. They stayed here for almost a month. He served her with divorce papers. There's alot more to this story but it would take forever to tell it. But I need to get soem of this off my chest.
They went to court. I went with her. They ended up going off together (in my truck that she was borrowing) to go get some of her stuff from their house. Then the next day she is back with him. And would not tell us anything. Now she goes crazy if I say anything. Just tonight she went off on me for no reason. He's turning her against her family.
Will y'all please pray for her and my granddaughter? That she will open her eyes and see what he is doing to her? And for their protection. That's the most important thing. Thanks so much. I just don't know what to do anymore. I know she's an adult and it needs to be her descision. But I am worried about them both.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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gypsy goat
True Blue Farmgirl
673 Posts
mary jo
michigan
673 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 5:44:31 PM
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i am so sorry kris,i don't blame you for being worried i would be too. i have been in a physical and emotionally abusive relationship before. it is very hard to see while your in the midst of it. i hope for their sake she realizes it sooner than later and that she is able to get out and protect your grandchild
farmgirl#1362 whatever you are be a good one-abe lincoln |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 5:48:44 PM
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Kristin it has to be horrible to stand by and see you DD hurt like this. And then the worry that he's not hurting your GD. Sweetie you are in my prayers that some answers will be found. Also praying for your DD and GD for their safety. Hugs,Brenda
http:///www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
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laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 5:56:27 PM
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Oh Kris- I am so sorry that you and your daughter and grand have to go through this. Unfortunately things like this tend to be out of our control. Its like someone who is addicted to a drug- you can not make them seek help- they have to want to do it for themselves and their loved ones. I pray for you that things get better. I pray for the safety of your DD and GD. It may take time, but eventually she will have had enough and muster the strength and courage to move on and better her life.
Hugs to you!
~Laurie
"Little Hen House on the Island"
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
Edited by - laurentany on Apr 24 2011 5:56:56 PM |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 6:01:36 PM
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Thank you both for your prayers. Mary Jo, how did you finally get out of the relationship? I was just talking to my mom, who worked in a battered women's shelter for several years. She saw this every day. Same ole thing all day long. I just wonder what the percentage is of women that get out and stay out of bad relationships is. It just seems like H is always picking no good idiots. She always seems to have to have a guy in her life. No matter what. And they are always losers.
I am going to talk to Kansas' teacher tomorrow. See if she has noticed any changes in her at all. If she does, the school has an obligation to investigate. If I were to call DFCS H would know right away who did it. But if the school calls, then I am off the hook. And there are only a few more weeks of school left.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 6:02:47 PM
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Thanks, Laurie. It is hard for her to see. But I do pray she will soon.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 7:19:29 PM
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oh kris, i am sad for you. it is a hard road to walk. i will say a prayer for you for sure. sending love hugs and a prayer for you all. sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - Apr 24 2011 : 8:10:26 PM
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Kris I am so sorry. You are right that you can't influence her. Trying to, along with his yammering about how bad you are, will push her away. Make sure she knows your door is always open to her. That's about all you can do. There is something you can tell her to help keep her and GD safe. Tell her to get a set of house and car keys made and hide them somewhere, not in her purse. In an escalating situation the abuser often takes keys away. If she can squirrel away a few dollars for gas if needed that is also recommended. If she or GD are on medications she should put 3 days worth with the keys and money. That way they won't have to be filled on a weekend or holiday. Some women's shelters have 911 cell phones for women in abuse situations. If she could get one she would hide that too. Make sure GD knows how to dial 911, her address and where to run if she needs to leave the house. If it is way out in the country without neighbors she should have a designated place where you/her mom know to look for her.
Talking with her about these things in a matter of fact way, without judgement, or trying to get her to leave him may help her to see your concern for her wellbeing and willingness to let it be her decision. If she is not ready to leave she can at least be smart about staying.
I'll keep you all in my thoughts. How old is your GD?
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 03:46:53 AM
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Thank you Sherrye.
Connie, K will be 8 this Sat, the 30th. She's very smart. But anyone can see she has anxiety issues, poor thing. She's very thin. H has her on all kinds od meds. For ADHD, during the day. And she told the doctor that K has sleeping problems so now is on sleeping meds at night. And she took her back to the doctor for something else a few weeks ago. K said it was for allergies. So she now is on 4 medications. H has 6 prescriptions for depression and sleep for herself and who knows what else. She says she is Bi Polar. I have read that they will also have their children on meds too. Well, she has. When K sleeps here she has never had a problem sleeping. Or at my other daughter's either. And we don't give her anything else and she's just fine. I think she put her on the sleeping med because when H goes to bed she does not want to be woken up. Plus she will sleep all day on the weekends. That makes Jeff mad. But he works every day so she can while he's not there. It's just crazy. The whole situation. Her and I really don't get along. I didn't want her to be here too long. She could have gotten an apt. in town just a few blocks from the school and work. But it was just 1 bedroom. She wanted 2. It's always something. Her and I had an argument the day she went back to him. I just cannot handle all this. It's been like this since she was about 17. And she'll be 32 in June.She has been in so many rehab places I can't remember them all. I can't see her ever being any different. That's what's so sad about this whole thing. It just goes on and on. I have prayed for her and left her in God's hands so many times. He has always seen her through. I know He's there with her and K. Those are good ideas, Connie. I will mention them to her. I talk to K all the time about what to do if someone touches her or hurts her in any way. I am always telling her she can talk to me about anything.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 06:15:21 AM
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Kris- I am so sorry that your daughter is caught in this type of relationship and that Kansas is suffering for it as well. I hope that somehow they will find a way through this. Maybe Kansas can start spending more and more time with Grandma?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 06:28:10 AM
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Yes, she will be, Alee. We had her yesterday. Poor thing didn't even get an Easter basket from them. Also since H is back in this mess, there is no way that her other 2 kids, who live with their dad, thank the Lord, will stay with them on their weekend. So they will be staying here. And K will too. But then that just gives her more time to sleep. I told her she just needs to give K to us. My other Dd even said her and her hubby would love to have her with them. But they both work such crazy hours. I think when she gets back on 1st shift it might work out better. They both love K to pieces. All 3 of them really. But K is the poor little one that just has us. We don't know where her real father is. Well, yes we do. In jail somewhere. He's only seen her once when she was a baby. So she only has this side of the family. It's just such a mess. Sounds like a real life soap opera, doesn't it? And this isn't even half of it.
But I reallu thank you all for your prayers. We need them.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 06:59:50 AM
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Kris- We all have some level of crazy soap opera in our families. I have a 33 year old son that is an alcoholic/drug addict. The drama and trauma in his life/our relationship over the years could fill a book. Thank God he has no children. My younger son was well on his way to the same life, until he was left with his 6 month old daughter. He made a complete turn around and is the best daddy, son, student and employee now. GD's mom is a mess and has not seen Lilli since she was around a year old. She will be three in July. I am very lucky to have a great relationship with the other GM. I tell her what I believe and that is that as long as they are still breathing there is hope. I don't pretend that what is happening is not real, just that there is hope. I guess that makes me a realistic optimist!
It is the children that suffer the most and have the least say in what happens. Kansas is lucky to have your family and it will make a difference in her life. She has a safe place and knows it. Sometimes that is enough. I will keep you all in my heart and prayers. And for sure no judgement here!
Hugs on you,
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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MagnoliaWhisper
True Blue Farmgirl
2817 Posts
Heather
Haysville
Kansas
USA
2817 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 08:54:48 AM
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Kristin I'm with Connie here too, I have a soap opera of a life too, I usually don't share it online cause I figure it's so unbelievable. I grew up with people not believing me when I would tell them what happened on my weekend home (you know at school on Monday's they would ask so what did you do on the weekend.....oh well uncle D and T got drunk, D ran over T with the truck, then T shot D in the leg, so we were in the ER waiting to see what would happen......) We lived next door to my uncles! UHG! Then there is my SIL and step brother. That's a whole nother just unbelievable mess! 6 kids! Up in that mess, and my Step SIL was only 1 year older then me and died last month! Leaving all her children behind. People are constantly saying to me, well it's not like the children seen her much (my parents are raising the children, cause SIL was a sociopath-not me just making this up being mean, I mean the court appointed psychologist diagnosed her as such!) Well, no she didn't see them often, beign a sociopath all that mattered to her was her ownself most the time and she had no ability to empathize with her children, etc. However, the kids loved her and as most children do, had dreams of things being different some day (they never would of been, but that's what children do!), so it was still crushing to them. Children love their parents pretty much no matter how bad they are. So yeah who cares she didn't see them much it still crushed them!
Any way, that being said, it does sound like your DD is bi-polor since at 17 is when the problems began, that's usually around the time mental illness rears it's ugly head. Unless she is very motivated to seek help and has good enough drs to find the correct medication to help "her" (not every one is the same, sometimes it's very hard to find a medication that works for some with it) she will probably have drug addiction problems etc.
I hate to say it, but it's very likely that K has ADHD from her mother, doesn't mean she needs to be all drugged up though. Just a little info, ALL bi-polars are ADD/ADHD, but not all ADD/ADHD are bi-polar. I hope that makes sense to you.
I sure wish there was a way you could get K. I will tell you, my step brothers mother turned them in for neglect (which was for sure happening!) and that's how my mom got custody of the children. It was the best thing that happened for those kids. My SIL and step brother didn't seem to hold it against his mother.
This is going to sound harsh.......but let me put this to you bluntly, I have alcoholic abusive uncles, one ended up cutting off one of his step daughters fingers, branding her with hot pokers from the fire place, making her stand in the corner all day till she peed her pants and then would make her lick the urine off the floor, he ended up cutting her mothers throat from ear to ear, the drs weren't sure if they would be able to save her! He had cut so deep it took three layers of stitches. Oh came back to add, his step daughter, is about 1 year older then me, so today is a adult, she has had 4 or 5 children she told me recently (we lost touch a long time ago) but they were all taken away cause she also has no ability to "bond" because of the abuse she endured from my uncle's hand......she is not able to have any kind of relationship with one man, or even her own children. She doesn't have the ability....she's a pretty big mess. I hate to see this happen to more children cause no one stops it. I will say my mom called the police many times back then though on her own brother about it! Back then it was the 70's, and police would yell at my mom to mind her own business! And stay out of it and stay away from her brother and his business! Thank God things have changed with domestic violence since then..
My opinion.......turn it in for your Granddaughters sake! Your granddaughter is more valuable then your DD and your relationship.......your granddaughter is the child here with no one to help her but you.......please turn it in.....
http://www.heathersprairie.blogspot.com |
Edited by - MagnoliaWhisper on Apr 25 2011 09:01:12 AM |
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 08:57:12 AM
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I am not sure why we stay in those kinds of relationships. It is some kind of brain washing that takes place. And the abuser can be soooo loving when that part comes. And no, my family couldn't say anything either. It took me 20 years to get out of that and you would not believe what I put up with before I finally left. I have had to repent for a lot that I put my kids through. My parents did not live to see me finally get free of that. But I did and the second 20 was spent with a man who loved me and needed me and encouraged me to be the best that I could be to the point where I am not willing to even bother to look for another relationship because that was so wonderful that I do not think I could find another like him and I am not willing to settle for less. Just keep praying for her and keep zipped. It is like being an addict, there is nothing you can do until she finally does it. And do not fall for the please help me routine as there are lots of places she can get help and she must do it.
CMF |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 08:59:03 AM
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Kris - I have been the abused in a similar situation and it is very difficult to recognize when you are in there. I was with my ex for seventeen years but about the last five were the worst. The abuser is very good at manipulation and the process he uses on the abused is very methodical and usually the abused doesn't even notice the process. I left him a few times before I finally actually left for good. I think the biggest thing that kept me there was fear and shame. He worked away and the day I finally got the courage to leave was when he called to say he was coming home in a couple days and I was terrified and wanted to end it all for myself. I walked into my children's rooms ( I have three) and they were sleeping so peacefully that I couldn't leave them with him. I called my sister that night and made the final decision to leave. It was horrible but now 12 years later it is fabulous. I did counselling and so did my kids. My only advice is: Do not question or condemn her for not leaving or having enough strength only be there for her when she is ready and she will be one day. My heart goes out to her.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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Ingrid
True Blue Farmgirl
432 Posts
Ingrid
BC
Canada
432 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 09:00:20 AM
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Kris - I have been the abused in a similar situation and it is very difficult to recognize when you are in there. I was with my ex for seventeen years but about the last five were the worst. The abuser is very good at manipulation and the process he uses on the abused is very methodical and usually the abused doesn't even notice the process. I left him a few times before I finally actually left for good. I think the biggest thing that kept me there was fear and shame. He worked away and the day I finally got the courage to leave was when he called to say he was coming home in a couple days and I was terrified and wanted to end it all for myself. I walked into my children's rooms ( I have three) and they were sleeping so peacefully that I couldn't leave them with him. I called my sister that night and made the final decision to leave. It was horrible but now 12 years later it is fabulous. I did counselling and so did my kids. My only advice is: Do not question or condemn her for not leaving or having enough strength only be there for her when she is ready and she will be one day. My heart goes out to her.
Give thanks to yourself everyday for all the wonderful things you do! |
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Joey
True Blue Farmgirl
1868 Posts
Joey
Gulf Coast
FL
USA
1868 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 2:16:01 PM
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Oh Kris, I am so sorry you are all going thru this. Your daughter makes her own choices. I am a Psych RN and see this all the time. I understand some of the psychology of this and if you want to e-mail me I'd be happy to chat awhile, but understanding doesn't really help the doing.
I generally don't talk about this but my 1st husband was emotionally & verbally abusive. He moved me far from my family and friends. As others have said, at the time it all seems to make sense..you begin to think you are the problem. I was 2 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child when I'd had enough and left. My family knew nothing he'd done to me and they thought I was the crazy one for leaving. Not much support there. He became physically abusive after I left. He tried to run me over with the car and he almost suceeded in choking me to death. My baby died and I almost did too. I took my 2 yr old and started a new life. It is 30 years later and I have been married to the greatest guy for almost 17 years. My daughter had therapy and is now a 31yo wonderful DD and great mom.
Connie had wonderful suggestions. I also suggest making a copy if you can of birth certificates, drivers license, social security cards, etc. anything you might need if you leave in a hurry. PLEASE, be sure that if she keeps things like this and money and cell phone, etc. that they are ABSOLUTELY somewhere that he will never find them. If he finds them he could get violent. Kris, if you can, keep all these things at your house too as she may come to you first if she can't get her stached things. She could call you from somewhere safe and ask you to bring your stached things to her. Also consider using the number of a Domestic Violence center at another town. Although it is not easy to find where DV places are, it is easier than you think and husbands often find these places. Also, if necessary she can go to a hospital. If he is abusing her he will usually demand not to leave her side (because he is afraid of what she will say if he is not there.) If the nurse doesn't ask her to give a urine sample (or even if she does) ask the staff to walk her to the bathroom (because she feels dizzy or whatever). She can talk to staff then and sometimes there is a number in the bathroom for a DV shelter she can call for help. As a nurse, if I suspect that a patient is being abused I have to report it, which may help you DD or K if need be, the nursing staff (and Security officers) are at the hospital and can help. If a teacher at school suspects, she has to report it too.
My heart goes out to you and your family. This is such a difficult situation to be in. You are such a good Mom/Grandmom. Just be there and let them know they can always come to you. Saying prayers for your family, Joey
Well behaved women rarely make history. |
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Dusky Beauty
True Blue Farmgirl
1108 Posts
Jen
Tonopah
AZ
USA
1108 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 2:16:38 PM
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I love how songs say it all.
This one called "Beauty from Pain" is really responsible for teaching me why God allows us to suffer-- No matter how hopeless, God has the power and authority to bring good out of it. http://youtu.be/M-GPbYcTDbQ (copy and paste this for a youtube link)
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.” ~Will Rogers |
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forgetmenot
True Blue Farmgirl
3602 Posts
Judith
Nora Springs
IA
USA
3602 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 2:35:44 PM
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Wow! This is so emotional..I will definitely be praying for your whole family, especially you, your daughter and granddaughter. Went through something so similar with DD. She did finally did leave him...we went to pick up her and the gkids when he left the house..he killed the family dog in front of her and the kids. Denies it. It's years later, but, the kids have blocked it out..now saying it was an accident. I can't believe its been 10 yrs. It was hard to keep her from going back. But, now she never will. There is hope.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the belief that something is more important than fear." Ambrose Red Moon |
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CMac
True Blue Farmgirl
1074 Posts
Connie
Ashland City
TN
USA
1074 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 5:52:46 PM
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Kris- We are never alone if we are open and honest! You go girl! Hope you are feeling better.
Connie
"I have three chairs in my house: one for solitude, two for friendship, three for company."
Author: Henry David Thoreau |
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Lady Woodworker
True Blue Farmgirl
259 Posts
Karen
Chamberlain
Maine
USA
259 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 6:24:47 PM
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Yes, as Judith said, this is very emotional.
My prayers are with you.
May you find the strength you need,
Karen
Farmgirl Sister # 2419 |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 6:58:39 PM
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Oh goodness, y'all. I just got home and came in here and saw all these wonderful posts. And they are so sad too. But there are so many that do get out and are ok. That gives me hope. I know he is brain washing her and has been. He's like a cult leader. And she is believing him. I am so sorry for all of you who have been through this very same thing. I am so happy you got out and your children are safe now.
Connie, your son sounds like H. I hope he gets help soon and turns his life around. And your younger son with his little girl sounds like a great father. I am so glad he has her and is doing so well now. Thank you for all your great advice. I need to copy all this down. There is alot of good advice here I need to remember.
Heather, wow, you have been through alot yourself. Sometimes ya just have to look around to see someone else and all their problems. Then your own don't look so bad. I am really praying about what to do. I talked to her teacher today. She is concerned too. She will keep an eye on her and if she sees that she needs to go further, she will. K is spending the night with her aunt and uncle tonight. She was very excited about that. I saw her for a few minutes. She was playing with the little girl across the road and they were having so much fun. Tahnk you for your prayers.
Cherime, you are so right about the brainwashing and how they can be so nice. He is that way. he gets people to believe everything he says and makes himself look so good to others. He really is good at it. He had us fooled. I am so glad you got out and that you found such a great soul mate. Thank you for sharing about that. I know that H will have to make that move. She is not stupid. She knows what he's like and what he can do.
Ingrid, again, you are right too. I agree with all you've said too. He is very good at what he is doing. He knows exactly what he's doing. I am trying to be there for H but then she just blows up at me. I tried yesterday to be nice and not get mad. I need to give her space to think and I need to let her know she can talk to me and I will not put her down or condemn her.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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rksmith
True Blue Farmgirl
858 Posts
Rachel
Clayton
GA
USA
858 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 7:00:32 PM
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I just don't know why so many women put up with such bad treatment. My younger sister is in a very similar situation, with 2 very small children and yet she can't see anything wrong. As you say, when one of us says something, we're just being mean. I guess really all you can do is pray and hope for the best. I will certainly say a prayer for your family.
Rachel
Farmgirl Sister #2753
Do not ask the Lord to guide your footsteps, if you are not willing to move your feet--Dr. Kioni
http://www.mynsp.com/rksmith
http://madame1313.wordpress.com/ |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 7:13:01 PM
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Joey, I am so sorry for all you've been through. And so glad you got away too. Your whole post really touched me. I know she makes her own choices. But why always the wrong ones? I will never understand this. I don't know why anyone would put up with the abuse. I also do not understand addictions. All your advice is great too and I am going to copy this whole thread so I can have it to get all this info down on paper. I will tell H some of these things a little at a time so she can get things together. My sister had to do all this so she could leave her 2nd husband. Saved money and put clothes and important things in hiding. Even bought a little car and hid it. So it can be done. Thank you so much.
Jennifer, I will listen to the song when I am done here. Thank you for sharing it.
Judith, this is emotional. And so sad. I cannot imagine what your Dd and grands went through. I hope they are all able to get past this and on with their lives. There really is hope. I know that. I see it all over this thread. From all you wonderful ladies. Thank you all for being here for me.
Thank you, Connie and Karen. They need all the prayes being sent up for them. And I do too. I just need to know the best way to do things. It is a very sticky situation. I do not want to give Jeff the upper hand. We have to be as sly and devious as he is to beat him at this game he's playing. I don't want him to win. And right now he thinks he is. If he can get H to stay away and not have anything to do with her family and friends, then he will think he's winning. We have to be smarter than that. So we can't act too fast here. And if others can do what needs to be done, then that will happen.
Thanks so much for all your help and prayers. I am so thankful for this place. I really felt like I had no where to go but here.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 7:16:38 PM
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Rachel, my younger sister went through this too. She finally saw what it was doing to her and her kids and got out. I know what you mean though about having to watch what we say or it's all turned around. That's what he does. I don't understand it either and never will. I was so fortunate to have such a wonderful loving husband. He is the best. We had some rough times when we were younger. But nothing like this. Thanks for your prayers too.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Apr 25 2011 : 7:43:15 PM
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Kris--my heart aches for you. I've been mentally abused (by a man who was a licensed hypnotherapist--he not only manipulated me, but made me feel grateful for the honor)and I've battled severe depression for most of my life, so I know how hard it is for your DD to see how he's abusing her. the abuser never admits he has a problem, it's always her problem. also, with bi-polar, she has self-esteem issues as well. but I agree with what some of the other ladies have said--make plans NOW for what to do when she tries to get out of this relationship. I will be praying for you and your DD and K as well. and if a local hospital has a support group for bi-polar, try to get her to attend one of their meetings. /sometimes it takes one to know one, and they can tell her what may happen if she doesn't get help for herself and K.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead O'Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
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