| Author |
Across the Fence:  Neighborly Advice  |
|
|
silver3wings
Farmgirl at Heart
9 Posts
Scarlett
Bloomington
Indiana
9 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 02 2011 : 7:05:24 PM
|
My home is a condo connected to six other condos. My building has had a lot of turnover in the past year. I try to get to know my neighbors by saying "hi" and at least trade numbers in case there is an emergency (I was on the homeowner's association board). My newest neighbor is right next door. We were both outside on our patios. So, I said, "Hi." She looked frightened and ran in the house, closing the door. That was a new one for me.
Any advice for how I might soften her up without being pushy or frightening her?
Healthy People; Healthy Planet
www.healthypeoplellc.com
|
|
|
prariehawk
True Blue Farmgirl
2914 Posts
Cindy
2914 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2011 : 7:10:48 PM
|
That's an unusual one--I'd be careful, cause she might have a phobia.
Cindy
"Vast floods can't quench love, no matter what love did/ Rivers can't drown love, no matter where love's hid"--Sinead Connor
"In many ways, you don't just live in the country, it lives inside you"--Ellen Eilers
Visit my blog at http://www.farmerinthebelle.blogspot.com/ |
 |
|
|
laurentany
True Blue Farmgirl
3259 Posts
Laurie
Patchogue
NY
USA
3259 Posts |
Posted - Apr 02 2011 : 7:18:11 PM
|
Hmmmm...that does seem strange. Perhaps it will take several times of her "seeing" you around. I would at least continue to smile at her, and play it by ear. Not sure what I would do in a situation like this. I guess it would be easy to say, just give up on her, but maybe she just needs some softening. Good luck, and do proceed with a touch of caution.
Smiles,
Laurie
Farmgirl Sister#1403
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. |
|
|
|
rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 01:46:15 AM
|
I agree that taking it slow may be the best course. But don;t give up, she needs your friendship more than most!
Marianne |
|
|
|
Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 03:52:09 AM
|
OOPS!
That's kind of funny in a way.
It's also a new one on me too! Usually condo and apartment folks get to be pretty chummy w/ the people around them.
If it were me, I'd probably knock on the door w/ a plate of some tasty confection, and hope like anything she wasn't a diabetic.
And I agree w/ Cindy. She may have issues, so indeed, this is tricky |
|
|
|
batznthebelfry
True Blue Farmgirl
1257 Posts
Michele
Athol
Ma
USA
1257 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 04:02:20 AM
|
I am going to tell you a story...back in the mid-1990's my doctors decided to play around with my medications for depression/bi-polar & I being who I am didn't question it & by the time I was a mess I was beyond asking for help. I became so afraid of being out of my house that I would panic just getting into the car or leaving my yard when I got the nerve to go outside. I hide from people & never answered the door because I would get so panic-y & would drop to my knees cause my legs would give out. I went thur this for 3 long years..& if I had to go somewhere I had to know days in advance just to get myself prepared for it...& sometimes that didn't work, this included going to the grocery store which no matter what was a horror for me. I used to be a high school teacher before this so being in front of people or talking to large groups never was a problem until this. A friend finally got thur to me that something was wrong but to this day even though they fixed the meds I still have to wear earplugs 24 hrs a day because I can't stand any noise, its a side effect of the meds but they work so I deal with it. she may be like I was & I can't spell it but its something like agrophobic...fear of open spaces & people in those spaces make it worse...now I am just guessing but if she did what you said I think this may be her problem & yes you will have to go very slow with her..its not you personally she is afraid of its just that she can't handle people when she is not ready for them & it puts her into a panic. What may help is for you to put a card in her mailbox introducing yourself & inviting her to have coffee/tea with you when she has a moment. This way it puts no pressure on her or you but she will now know you by name & know that you are right next to her.....Michele'
Chickens rule!
The Old Batz Farm
Hen #2622 |
|
|
|
Simply Ann
True Blue Farmgirl
163 Posts
WI
USA
163 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 09:37:58 AM
|
Maybe she thourght she was having a bad hair day and didn't want anyone to see her?
There is no set path, follow your heart stay the course. |
|
|
|
silver3wings
Farmgirl at Heart
9 Posts
Scarlett
Bloomington
Indiana
9 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 10:29:43 AM
|
Thank you all for your advice. You've given me a lot to think about. Since I do not know what she's thinking or what her past has been like, I think I'll just keep doing what I'm doing, and if I happen to see her outside I'll wave until she seems like she's warming up. Then, I might progress to saying, "Hi," again. Thank you all.
Healthy People; Healthy Planet
www.healthypeoplellc.com
|
|
|
|
ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4739 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4739 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 11:42:53 AM
|
Some people take a long time to warm up to strangers. I would just give friendly smiles for now and let her make the first move. Since you live in condos it is to everyone's advantage to be neighborly and hopefully she will come around to that same conclusion.
Dawn in IL |
|
|
|
Farmtopia
True Blue Farmgirl
1465 Posts
Zan
New York
New York
USA
1465 Posts |
Posted - Apr 03 2011 : 11:23:17 PM
|
This is true; I wouldn't take it too personally. You might have just honestly startled her and she had a "knee jerk" reaction. Or, she is just not used to dealing with people for any number of reasons. I think your idea of smiling and waving and gradually moving forward would probably work!
~*~Dream all you dreamers~*~
View My Work:
art/dolls: www.vagabondcreations.blogspot.com
The Horse Drawn Project and Farming!
www.beyondvagabond.blogspot.com
View the blog and radio show!
Renegade Farming!: www.therenegadefarmer.com
N |
|
|
| |
Across the Fence: Neighborly Advice |
|
Neighborly Advice
