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Across the Fence:  What do you think of the Tiger Mother methods  |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 28 2011 : 11:25:35 AM
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I am curious to see what all of you think of the this type of mothering? I won't comment until yet.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2011 : 11:44:33 AM
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After reading excerpts of the book and seeing the author, I had difficulty connecting the two--she seemed too "Americanized" to me to raise her daughters this way.
I know that I attended a performing arts school with about 30% of the by-product of this type of parenting method--they were the students who arrived from parts of far flung Asia with the clothing on their back, forced to wear the ridiculous school uniform and spent all of their waking hours practicing the violin, cello or piano in the practice spaces beneath my room, beginning at 6 am and sometimes going on until 12 or 1 am. These are also the students that now lead and sit first chair in world renknown orchestras.
In the case of the author, we have to remember that, though she is American, she is still Asian American, and the tradition of hard work, pleasing and caring for your parents and elders is long engrained in their culture.
I don't agree with calling my daughter "garbage" or making her practice piano for hours without food or threatening her, but I find that "most" American children seem to be aimless, very little direction or dedication, and seem to want success and everything else handed to them, unless these children are raised in an environment where hard work is engrained from early age (like farms, or family businesses).
You want your child to know what hard work and dedication are, and the rewards that you can reap from such work and dedication, but I certainly believe that, for my family, this would not be the method in which I choose to encourage my child. I'm no dictator.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2011 : 3:36:01 PM
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I don't agree at all with the method but I also don't agree with children getting away with everything because the parents are to lazy, scared, drunk or high to be bothered with their children.
Hope all your days are Sunnydays.
dianebcarterhotmailcom.blogspot.com |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3319 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3319 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2011 : 9:27:52 PM
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It seems to me that it is this form of education and child rearing is in and of itself extreme. As if our young ones don't have enough pressure-more than I ever experienced growing up. But, then again not getting involved with your children's education is terribly irresponsible on behalf of the parents. What we should strive for is the middle ground. I think that our education system has been in decline for many, many years. My father was an educator for over 20-years and retired because everything started changing and not for the better. Statistically speaking our school systems fall well short of other comparable countries. Then again, we have to look at how much is spent on education per student-Not near enough.
What to do? Extend the school day-or amount of days per year-earlier educational intervention with more pre-schools-more parental involvement-better pay for our children's teachers-more money allocated to our school system for better programs and better schools and right now before its too late because our children are the future of this country.
Melody
Farmgirl #525
www.lemonverbenasoap.etsy.com
www.bythebayhandcraftedsoap.blogspot.com
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2011 : 02:43:40 AM
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Melody- Well said. I really like your points. One thing I did get from doing some research is how involved many countries make themselves in the education of their children. I have a friend that homeschools her children and I was quite impressed with her homeschool pack that she got. I was thinking it would be a good idea to do some summer school with Nora. But I can't ever imagine telling my daughter she couldn't go to the bathroom until she got a complicated score of music down!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Miss Bee Haven
True Blue Farmgirl
4331 Posts
Janice
Louisville/Irvington
Kentucky
USA
4331 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2011 : 04:46:21 AM
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I think we here in this country could do better where educating children is concerned. And parents should be more involved. But as far as this tiger mother thing is concerned, I think there's enough meanness in the world without terrorizing children in their own homes. I think she's mean. I think love and kindness and positive encouragement will get you just as far.
Farmgirl Sister #50
"If you think you've got it nailed down, then what's all that around it?"
'Br.Dave Gardner' |
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magnoliakathy
True Blue Farmgirl
453 Posts
Kathryn
Magnolia
Texas
USA
453 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2011 : 10:18:50 AM
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I think the 'tiger mom" has some sadistic tendencies going on. Set the rules, stick to them and being an INVOLVED parent will get the job done. Kids do not every new gadget, game, or pass time that comes along. Parents need to be adults not their kid’s best friend, my kids and I did not become best friends until they were grown and left home. I did not like having to discipline them, but I did it because I set the rules and needed to reinforce what misbehaving would bring on. If they were failing a subject, I got them help, if they were failing and got a bad conduct grade, that meant they weren’t paying attention, and I had to get their attention back on track. If they started something (especially if I had to pay a fee to get them in) they had no choice but to finish, no excuses, no bargaining, you start you finish, I believe this reinforced “think before you leap”. Parents must stay on top of school work; it is a parent’s job to facilitate the teacher, not the other way around. Parents need to remember your kids are at school for 6-8 waking hours, 5 days a week. How many waking hours are you with them and aware of what they are doing? The school personnel probably spend more awake time than the parents do, especially parents who work more than one job. Ok, rant is over. Set rules, enforce them, get help when the kid actually needs, allow some outside activities, and some free time too. Remember to tell them you love them and hug them every day, remember to tell them what you expect from them and stick to it.
When you free your mind your heart can fly. Farmgirl # 714, |
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woolgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
901 Posts
Elizabeth
Great Lakes
IL
USA
901 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2011 : 11:08:56 AM
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I have been thinking of doing the same kind of thing Alee. Rosemary starts a new daycare on Monday, but I was thinking of getting some homeschooling curriculum for the summer.
I have only seen the Tiger Mom technique briefly on TV, but from what I saw I just don't know if I could get behind it. Naturally I want my child to be successful, but at what cost? I think a lot of the degradation of the educational system has not only to do with "the system" but with lack of parent involvement as well. We are so busy with work, extra curricular activities, and maintaining a home that the most important things, in particular education, go by the wayside.
Farmgirl #1947 |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2011 : 11:36:23 AM
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Ok. Here I go lol! I think the acts of demeaning any child or adult is one of the worst possible forms of abuse you can dish out. The idea that it is going to make a person want to do better because you are calling them worthless and destroying there self esteem is really screwed up thinking. I do think though that we need to focus on helping our kids to build a good character. To give their word and mean it. To know that you can't always get want you want and you can't take your anger or frustration out on other people. I think we need more lessons in teaching that you must earn the things in this life that you want. That there is no better feeling in this world than knowing you worked for something and you earned it. Yes, education is very important, but there are many venues of education. Not everyone is good in school, not all are college material. But, they can still have successful and rewarding lives. We all need money to pay our bills and to buy our necessary items. But, everyone does not need or even want to be a lawyrer or Dr. or teacher or nurse etc. There are many ways to live your life. I think this country is way to obsessed with everything depending on a big salary. Know what? Some people really enjoy doing the everyday jobs that we take for granted. The check out person at the grocery store, the small farmer, the bank teller, the lady that watches your children, yes, even the WalMart greeters and tellers, the gas station attendants, fast food workers, lunch ladies, bus drivers the list goes on and on. As we know more than anyone, the simple life is not always easy, but there are many of us that are very happy living without the mansions and the big expensive cars and every new gadget that hits the market. I think if we concentrate on teaching our children to be good people and respect other people and to learn to live within their budgets and pay their bills, to be true to their word, to know you have to earn your way, not ever think you are entitled to just take other peoples things. That they will have a most successful and rewarding life. Yes, by all means have good educations, that is important. But, education to me at least, is a lot more than what you learn in a text book. It's learning to be a worthwhile person and learning how to live in the real world. Not just in the world of the hard driven, overworked and out of touch perfectionists. Know any of them? I do. Would you want their lives? I don't. Just my humble opinion. Thanks for listening.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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LucyLobo511
True Blue Farmgirl
177 Posts
Mari-lyn
Capron
IL
USA
177 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2011 : 11:59:51 AM
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I didnt know what it was so I looked it up seems way to strict for me. One thought, if God gave a child special talents then those special talents will come out on thier own with love and encouragement. We homeschool and always have I totally feel it has given them more chances to express themselves and become the people God has intended for them to be. The whole plan is in Gods hands.
Insane and Blissfully Happy |
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Across the Fence: What do you think of the Tiger Mother methods |
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What do you think of the Tiger Mother methods
