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Across the Fence: Is it a proposal without a ring? ![Next Topic Next Topic](icons/icon_go_right.gif) |
rachels7683
Farmgirl in Training
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34 Posts
Ohio
34 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 10:22:49 AM
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What is your opinion on this? What if you don't care for jewelry or what if it's still at the jewelers but the moment was right?
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star-schipp
True Blue Farmgirl
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942 Posts
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Starletta
Middletown
Indiana
USA
942 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 10:33:10 AM
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I actually don't care for jewelry at all and I did not WANT an engagement ring - in fact, we had one of our first fights at the jewelry store! He thought everyone would think he was too cheap to buy a ring. BTW, I won We are happily married for 12 years so it was still a "real" engagement.
If you can't feed one hundred people, then just feed one. -Mother Teresa
Star - farmgirl sister #1927
Master Food Preserver |
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Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
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4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 10:51:59 AM
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Real engagement to me. When DH proposed, there was no ring, no down on one knee, and no fanfare. It was a quiet question between us. As soon as I said yes, the engagement was all real! :D It's not the jewelry, but the commitment that makes it real and special! hugs Jessie
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
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4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 11:00:31 AM
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I think you've gotten your answer :) JFK gave Jaqueline Bisset an engagement "bracelet"...really, it's only been in the last 100 years or so that engagement rings have played a prominent role in the first step to marriage.
We didn't have one--he was having one made, though he didn't mention it--but he asked me one night while we were sitting outside on the fire escape watching the moon rise near the end of the summer. It was a perfect night and I didn't even wonder if there was a ring!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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SherBear
True Blue Farmgirl
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77 Posts
Sherri
Mukwonago
Wi
USA
77 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 11:04:49 AM
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It is definitley a proposal without a ring :) My husband proposed while we were driving to a fish fry, with his daughter in the back seat. He told me about his day (which had been terrible) and told me that he realized that I was the only one in the world that didn't piss him off and that he realized we should get married. Such a romantic proposal, how could I say no? Granted, I didn't expect flowers and candlelight, so it was good enough for me! We didn't have a ring yet, and he did surprise me with one a few months later. I wore one we had gotten a few months prior that was a silver ring with a bow tied on top with marcasite set into the bow. I would have been happy with that one, but he did go and get a diamond engagement ring, and took my mom with him to help pick it out.
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BarefootGoatGirl
True Blue Farmgirl
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1495 Posts
Corrine
North Carolina
USA
1495 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 1:17:09 PM
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this is a topic that my mom and i are heatedly debating right now. he's asked and i've said yes. we are planning a wedding, but my mom doesn't want me to tell the kids because "its not official."
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
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1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 2:44:12 PM
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Well, if having an engagement ring makes it official, then I guess the last 45 years of our marriage are not official!! I am not a jewelry person myself. I have a wide gold band and on our 30 year anniversary he got me a beautiful diamond anniversary ring. It is weird because you would swear that it was made to fit right on the top of my band. I love that too. But, I don't think anyone needs a ring if you are committed to each other that is all that counts. (My daughter absolutely loves jewelry so she probably has another opinion!! lol!)
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
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kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 3:05:51 PM
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I asked my hubby. We had rings but I don't wear mine anymore. It kind of got in the wya of all these farm chores. I need to get it back on one day though. I love my ring. I think it's fine to not have an engagement ring. He asked you, didn't he? You said yes. So there.
Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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rachels7683
Farmgirl in Training
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34 Posts
Ohio
34 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 3:24:45 PM
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Well, the reason i;m asking is because he gave me a promise ring about 3 years ago and he made the comment a few weeks ago if he took it to a jeweler to ''spruce it up'' if that would be fine if it would be my engagement ring. We both feel that it would have meaning to it.I went to wear it on Saturday and it was gone from my jewelry box. So, with saying that we are going on a short getaway in a few weeks so i could see him proposing if the mood was right but if he didn't have the ring back yet.
Corrine- I hope she comes around. I have also thought about if the ring wasn't ready and he proposed if i would tell people..because the first thing most people are going to ask is ''can i see the ring?''. Argg!
*~*~* I'd rather be raising babies and animals*~*~* |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
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1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 3:33:28 PM
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I don't wear my ring either. It is an old ring and I am worried about losing it.
Sounds like you already have a ring. Plus it is the words that count.
God Bless you and your upcoming wedding.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
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1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 6:27:55 PM
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I find that perfectly acceptable. I told my husband NO RING. I think it's a silly thing myself to spend that much money on a piece of jewelry that I will likely lose! I guess you can tell I'm not a 'jewelry person' anyway. We don't even wear wedding bands (I am forever washing my hands with my chores and he welds and works on heavy machinery, so...) It's what's in your heart that matters :0)
Congratulations!
FarmGirl #1390 www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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SherBear
True Blue Farmgirl
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77 Posts
Sherri
Mukwonago
Wi
USA
77 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 6:29:53 PM
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I didn't make a big 'announcement' right away when he proposed since I didn't have an engagement ring, since the first thing people say is 'Let me see the ring.' However, most people noticed because I was wearing the little silver ring on 'that finger' and they figured it out :)
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rachels7683
Farmgirl in Training
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34 Posts
Ohio
34 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 6:33:14 PM
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Thanks ladies..I will keep you all updated!
*~*~* I'd rather be raising babies and animals*~*~* |
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AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
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254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 6:44:53 PM
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You are engaged if the two of you agree that you are. You don't have to have THE RING, you can have just a ring....or not. My engagement ring was a half inch piece of copper pipe, just for fun. We'll be married twenty nine years this July. |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
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3319 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3319 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 8:04:12 PM
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![](http://www.maryjanesfarm.com/Snitz/Images/NewYearsEveHornWholesale.jpg)
Funny story... My husband proposed to me on New Years Eve, on bended knee, in front of a dozen of his friends, and their girlfriends and wives. He tore the end of one of those sparkly horns you blow on New Years Eve and slipped it on my finger while asking for my hand.
Later on I picked out an engagement "band" with rubies and diamonds so that I would be reminded of that goofy little sparkly horn/temporary engagement ring. I still have it! We will be married 20-years this June.
Melody Farmgirl #525 www.lemonverbenasoap.etsy.com www.bythebayhandcraftedsoap.blogspot.com |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
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6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2011 : 03:07:21 AM
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I did not have an engagement ring until our 25th anniversary. When we decided to get married, I wanted a gold band, which said married more than anything I can think of. We got matching bands. But on that memorable silver anniversary, he gave me a large diamond and has since added two other diamonds beside it and a diamond band. I have enjoyed them a lot. I wish my hands were still young and pretty, though, because the rings would look a lot better!
Farmgirl Sister # 31
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
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1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2011 : 05:16:57 AM
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My Hubby proposed to me without a ring. I don't care for jewelry and am very picky about what I will wear. We picked out our wedding bands together and then honeymooned in gatlinburg. I seen a beautiful ring there that matched my wedding band so he got it for me so I'd have a set. Mine are black hills gold, very small, no stones. The wedding band is the leaf pattern with the tiny gold ball in the middle. The engagement ring is an open heart with a leaf on each side. Not exactly traditional, but they are perfect to me.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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country roads
True Blue Farmgirl
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443 Posts
Melissa
Shinglehouse
Pa
USA
443 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2011 : 05:21:52 AM
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DH and I were still in high school. We were working on his old truck when he proposed. As he was asking me he was slipping an empty cardboard ring from a roll of electrical tape onto my finger :) I accepted and it wasn't until the next summer that he'd earned enough money throwing hay bales to buy me a "real" ring. As long as you love one another it doesn't matter what is or isn't on your finger :)
Take care, Melissa.
Farmgirl # 352
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paradiseplantation
True Blue Farmgirl
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1277 Posts
julie
social springs community
Louisiana
USA
1277 Posts |
Posted - Jan 25 2011 : 05:37:27 AM
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Hubby proposed to me -- without a ring. Instead, we opted to use a wedding ring set that belonged to my great aunt Becky and her hubby David. It's an antique and unusual, so I liked it better than anything I could have purchased at a store. Yep! You're engaged - with or without a ring!
from the hearts of paradise... |
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Montrose Girl
Farmgirl Legend/Schoolmarm
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1360 Posts
Laurie
Montrose
CO
1360 Posts |
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Princess_Of_The_Barn
Farmgirl at Heart
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7 Posts
Tonya
New Douglas
IL
USA
7 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2011 : 7:22:40 PM
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DH and I were in college when we met. I laid eyes on him on June 23rd. We went on our first date on July 2nd. On Thanksgiving he came over to my brothers because I was housesitting while he was on vacation. He came over when I was working a double shift and made beef stroganoff for dinner. He had the fireplace going and even opened a bottle of wine. He was planning on proposing, but I was so tired I fell asleep!
He "popped the question" the next morning while I was in the bathroom! Not exactly romantic, but it works for us! We've also agreed that we're shooting any guy who proposes to our daughters while wearing nothing but his boxers! ![](icons/icon_smile_blush.gif)
As for the ring....I didn't get one until January. We were poor broke college students and I was tired of every girl saying that he was cheap because he didn't get me a ring. We finally went and sold some of his comics and a pistol and I got a $150 ring. It's in the jewelery box now because I'm still not a jewelery person.
But if he asked, you said YES! and are planning a wedding....YOU'RE ENGAGED!
CONGRATS!
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KayB
True Blue Farmgirl
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540 Posts
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Kay
Del City
Oklahoma
USA
540 Posts |
Posted - Jan 29 2011 : 8:37:14 PM
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Never had an engagement ring. DH and I have been married almost 14 years. His proposal was that he had been waiting for me for over 15 years (we dated 30 years ago and split up). Good enough for me. Never formally asked either, just told me we had to get married.
Congratulations to you.
KayB
Life's a dance you learn as you go
Farmgirl Sister #2351 |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
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808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2011 : 08:48:58 AM
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my proposal came with no engagement ring either, still going 25 years later |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
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4739 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4739 Posts |
Posted - Jan 30 2011 : 2:35:29 PM
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I also did not want a engagement ring, so we purchased beautiful matching wedding bands instead. I work with my hands a lot and the band holds up to everything I do indoors and out. We've been married 8.5 years now and I'm still happy with the band and my husband!
Dawn in IL |
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Diane B Carter
True Blue Farmgirl
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1270 Posts
Diane
Blasdell
N.Y.
USA
1270 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2011 : 10:57:24 AM
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I tried to get my son to buy his girlfriend an engagement ring but he said she did not want a diamond ring because they are harvested by child slavery rings. He is waiting until she decides what if anything she wants. He hasn't been on bended knee yet but they are thinking about getting married in a few years. The wait is because her brother is getting married out of the country and they know it will be expensive on her parents and they don't want them to worry so hopefully this summer he will get on bended knee and ask. I believe once he or she ask's and the other say's yes it's at that time it's official. Cogratulations on your engagement.
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HollyG
True Blue Farmgirl
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214 Posts
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Holly
Hamburg
Arkansas
USA
214 Posts |
Posted - Jan 31 2011 : 11:25:08 AM
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No ring. Now, that's not saying I wouldn't love to have a rock after 17 years of marriage against all the odds, but it's what's in your heart, not what's on your finger!
HollyG Farmgirl #2513 www.mydeepwoodslife.com |
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