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Family Matters:  Any in laws living in your homes...[long]  |
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amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
 Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 02:17:53 AM
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I have had my MIL [mother in law] living with us for 4 years. I also adopted my SIL [sister in law] which is my MIL's youngest child 6 years ago. She could not handle her, so I took her, then when her dad died she had no where to go. So she came here.She has medical issues and is mentally only about 12.
Now my parents are moving into our basement, which is pretty much an apartment. They are losing their farm. They have had job issues and major medical issues for several years. Infact that is how we got this house 4 years ago. We bought it from my parents who had tried to rent it to my sister who never paid rent. Talk about a family issue, my sisters were so mad at me, they did not speak to me for a year.
I think this will do in my relationship with my sisters again. They both feel my parents should just plan money better and get over it. That is not the only problem here. If my Dad goes in for surgery, he could come home and not be able to ever work again. My Mom has neurologic issues, protein issues and bone and joint issues and can't work full time. My Dad is the bread winner. With all the money issues right now, I do not feel they can just go rent somewhere. My youngest sister has several farms with three houses empty. Two of these houses need tore down, one is fine. My parents offered to buy a mobile home, put it on the one of the properties that had utilities. They said they could pay 10-15 thousand for the land on an interst free loan fover the next 5 years, so they could get a life estate from my sister and her husband. My sister and her husband refused this. Only allowing the offer to "rent" the liveable house to my parents for 500.00 a month no land use, no fixing it up or decorating. If the were late once they had to get out. My parents even tried to get them to let me or mom or dad if he could to do farms work for the rent. That was refused. So we are letting them come here.
I am sorry this is so long, I am very disapointed in my sisters. And feel frustrated about all of it. I just neede to vent. I was also looking for any support or ideas on dealing with.
Again sorry so long.
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 03:43:04 AM
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one of the best things you can do is to do what YOU can..and this is what you can do... and then too- pray on it!!
i'd write more but i overslept this morning....
yes- your mom and dad should plan their money better however- they need a break to catch up so -and with health issues and at their ages-c'mon sisters! too many folk ONLY see the almighty dollar and forget about the love and nurturing that was shared when they were the children growing up...
i would imagine your mom and dad feel pretty durned bad about this without added stress...sure don't need "children" telling them they are worthless (not your words!) ---you got me started and i have to get ready for work!do mom and dad plan on sitting on their arses? i doubt it!!! i am sure they plan to contribute to your home however they are able..... c'mon sisters!!! arrrgggghhhhh
anyhow- pray on it- if YOU feel it is right- IT IS!
big hugs!
Farmgirl # 2139
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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Penny Wise
True Blue Farmgirl
1903 Posts
Margo
Elyria
OH
USA
1903 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 03:44:38 AM
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oh- as to 'dealing with" --when the sisters start yapping- simply smile and say "this is what we choose to do"...and stop talking! don't give in to arguing don't worry about defending--this is between you and your hubby and your folks and God....
sorry-jmho
Farmgirl # 2139
~*~ counting my pennies and biding my time; my dreams are adding up!~*~ |
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amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 05:15:50 AM
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Margo- That is what I was going to do, I love the words you said"this what we choose to do". That is awesome. I was not sure of the words to use.
We prayed for the past two months for God to show us what we should do. Then the day after my youngest sister told them all the "rules", it just came out. Both my DH and I just said it. It was like a peace came over us. Now the heavy hard work of sorting both house holds and setting up the kitchen in the basement.
Thank you.
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
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amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 05:37:12 AM
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Oh and my parents will be giving us money as long as they have it. When he is off of work they will give us what they cane. It will help, and we are all hoping to save up some money and buy a big parcel of land.
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 07:17:33 AM
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angie, what a fine farmgirl you are. many would say no to this situation, as your sisters did. God will see your efforts and help you all through this. good job. roll up those sleeves and have a good time working hard doing what is RIGHT in Gods eyes. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 07:25:38 AM
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Thanks Sherrye! You made me tear up! I sometimes worry that God just wants us to be a supportive family. I have made attempts to this, but not successful. God is good and he will see us all through this.
Thanks
Stay warm and dry
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 09:55:28 AM
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Angie - Sherry said exactly what I was thinking! You're doing a wonderful thing. I think your sisters might be giving you aggravation over this out of their own guilty consciences, you know what I mean? Heaven forbid they be called upon to give of themselves and their lives for their parents as you are doing! Just smile and nod. I'd say their consciences are working on them far more effectively than any words you can say. :) Hang in there. I know the road ahead of you is long and arduous, but you know, God sees everything that you are doing out of love, and that will not go unrewarded. He will help you. You have such a good heart, such a merciful, loving heart; and taking in your loved ones and helping to care for them like this - it is a true testimony to your love not only for them, but for God. You are a blessing. What a wonderful world this would be with more people like you in it! I'm praying for you to have all the love, strength, patience, mercy and blessing you'll need to do what you have set out to do! You're an inspiration to us all! Hugs - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
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amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 24 2011 : 10:08:25 AM
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Thanks Nini, I really appreciate it. I am working on just keeping a smile and nod going. I just can't allow their words to get me down.
I appreciate all the kind words.
Stay warm and dry.
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
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HealingTouch
True Blue Farmgirl
3448 Posts
Darlene
Kunkletown
Pa
USA
3448 Posts |
Posted - Jan 27 2011 : 9:11:38 PM
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Angie...You're wonderful and a Blessing to ALL your family that are living with you. What kind of daughter would you be if you didn't help...You'd be your sistes! Years ago it was the norm to have several generations living together and to be honest more should still be living together.God tells us to do this for strangers so how could someone be so cold hearted and not do it for their parents? This will work out to be a Blessing and you don't have to answer to your sisters. God is the only judge and no one else so stay strong and Love one another! Be at Peace and be Blessed!
Be Blessed,
Darlene
Sister 1922
God first, everything else after!
When Satan's knocking at your door, just say "Jesus will you get that for me?"
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amomfly
True Blue Farmgirl
658 Posts
Angie
LaGrange
IN
USA
658 Posts |
Posted - Jan 28 2011 : 03:08:45 AM
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Thank you all for your support!
We are still working on finishing the kitchen and bathroom in the basement. I know this will work out.
Thank you all again!
God Bless
Angie-amomfly
#1038 |
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Family Matters: Any in laws living in your homes...[long] |
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Any in laws living in your homes...[long]
