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Across the Fence:  My friend told me today we can't be friends  |
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CountryLisa72
True Blue Farmgirl
58 Posts
Lisa
58 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 3:04:42 PM
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Because I'm a very boring and I need to get a life ..I guess just working 8 hrs a day and relaxing on the weekends is a boring life. But I have been so smothed and controlled by my ex.It's all I know..
I would love to get back into the church but really not sure if I would be a good Christian(Catholic) due to the things I have done in my past..No nothing criminal just very immoral..
I love reading blogs and would love to have one of my own but how boring would that be..
I have a good idea of what I'd like my life to be like just not sure where to start..
I don't have alot of friends but would like to make more.
Thanks for letting me rant |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 3:12:24 PM
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Lisa Sorry to hear that your friend has treated you this way, not really much of a friend. I too have a boring life and prefer it that way. LOL I don't think the Lord cares what you have done in your past as long as you ask his forgiveness and there is certainly no need to tell anyone else. If you feel the catholic church would be to judgemental there are many other churches that would be happy to have you. Chin up girl!!!
Hugs, Kathy |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 5:26:23 PM
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I live an even more boring life than that! I don't even work. I'm a stay at home mom who homeschools her girls, so I basically never leave the house. I enjoy my quiet life. I have no real friends outside of family members. I would be happy to be your email friend if you'd like. We can share a 'boring' friendship discussing our 'boring' lives. LOL!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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TexBetsy
True Blue Farmgirl
315 Posts
Betsy
Princeton
TX
USA
315 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 5:29:01 PM
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You are surrounded by friends here. That's one of the things I love most about being a Mary Janes Farmgirl - there are hundreds of other women that like the things I like - things that have nothing to do with the latest fashion or make-up, or who has the bigger house or newer car. Yes, I do have many people in my life, unfortunately, that measure me by those things and I fall so far short. I love to read, cook, and crochet. I love to just sit outside and enjoy the view. Pretty boring, huh! Lisa, I'm very glad to be your friend! We can be boring together :}
As for church, remember that Jesus Christ came for those that have missed the mark, have not measured up. There is nothing at all that He cannot forgive. I pray that you find a welcoming church. I think that's an awesome place to start.
Betsy
"God does not command that we do great things, only little things with great love" Mother Teresa |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 5:30:29 PM
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Lisa its really hard when a best friend just decides she doesn't need that friendship anymore. Been there and still kind of with others. I'm a very laid back person. Love my home and cooking and keeping my home clean. When that's all finished I like to spend time doing crafts and spending time with my DH. Sure I love being with girlfriends, but my prioities are God, DH, family and then friends. And I feel if they can't except that is who I am, then they are not real friends. One of my girlfriends works all week, as you do, but she wants to run all weekend. Which is fine, that is what she needs. And that is for catching up with family and church for me. So we have some problems getting together. But she's an exception, we've been friends since high school. Look at your dream as to how you could live your life and you and your family would be happy. If the friend is meant to be in your life, the Lord will help you both to work it out. Praying for you Lisa, friendships are so important and when one goes bad, it hurts and feels lonely. But remember to go with what feels right. Hugs, Brenda
http:///www.scatteredlittleblessings.blogspot.com
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 5:44:23 PM
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Boring can be good!! I prefer it. I've kind of had enough of the action life to last me for several lifetimes!!
There are clubs out there and usually the local paper will print all of them on one day a week. What do you like?? Then go to a meeting with NO expectations, just to get outta the house.
The 'net has oodles of things to indulge in. I bought Adobe Photoshop and am canoodling around learning how to take better photos for my blog. (see below)
I've sort of come to the conclusion that I'm not a Christian. I grew up in and around Indian reservations when young and am most comfortable with going on indian time. I feel a power when I just 'be'. Works for me!! If Catholism isn't your cuppa, try something else. The main thing is to get out there and "do something".
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com . Now with pictures!!
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 5:46:07 PM
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Forgot to say, I have to wonder about your 'friend'. Maybe you are better off without her. This way you call the shots for your life and aren't trying to live to please her.
Just a thought!! 
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com . Now with pictures!!
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CountryLisa72
True Blue Farmgirl
58 Posts
Lisa
58 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 6:01:09 PM
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Goneriding- I really don't know what I like when it comes to styles..But I know I lovee going to new places and seeing new things..
I would love to have my own blog but not sure if I have anything to post that folks would be intersted to read..
I'd like to find other single ladies who have a blog but not sure where to look. |
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eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 8:07:18 PM
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Lisa...I am a widow actually. Don't think of myself as single. But I understand about friends thinking you are boring because you aren't out doing what they do. Since my Husband passed away most of my friends have disappeared. I am learning that it is ok to be me. To do what makes me happy. I have a blog and would love to see you start one. Email me and I can send you a link wo where I blog. It's easy and fun. I have followers that I never dreamed I would. Step out to the edge of that cliff and fly sister! lol ! I am finding through blogging I am finding new things that interest me through others blogs. I too don't think your friend was much of a friend . You have to be true to yourself before you can do anything. Well.. To God first in my eyes. But even there we all have or own ways... that's what makes the world go round ! Sending you a sister hug...You have friends here.. Rant anytime !!
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
Scattered Prairie Gals Chapter
http://www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com
My studio Blog- http://www.lostcreekstudio.blogspot.com |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 8:22:48 PM
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Oh, Lisa - the older I get, the more "boring," and the fewer, more quality, friends, the better! LOL! We've all done less than wise things - everyone has a skeleton or two. And we all have been deeply hurt by someone in our lives. I was once physically and mentally abused, as well as oppressed by a former boyfriend, but I found strength in God and in good people, survived, got out, and moved on. Now I have a wonderful life - a husband of 22 years; a 14 year-old son; really good, loving, caring friends who have withstood the test of time, and now even this amazing Farmgirl Sisterhood. I am a blessed girl, indeed!
And the Catholic Church won't judge you, girl! Call your priest and talk with him, I am absolutely sure you will be surprised! I know I was! I returned to the Church over 35 years after being away. My family left when I was a little girl. I had always been a believer, making MANY "mistakes" and bad decisions over the years, but still growing in my faith as a Christian. I had belonged to various Protestant churches in my young adult life. I am so grateful for the Bible training I received through them, which profoundly deepened my faith. Over time, I had questions, and did a lot of research into what I believed, and why. After much fervent prayer and searching for explanations to the whys, hows and what-do-you-means, I am thrilled to have found my way back "home" to the Catholic Church and couldn't be happier or more thankful. I will be totally honest with you, that first confession when I returned "home" really had me sweating; I had whop-dingers to get off of my chest, believe me, and I thought the priest would "crucify" me because of everything I had been taught over the years. But I was so relieved when I went! My priest is just about the most awesome, loving Man of God I've ever met, and he actually really helped take a burden and weight off of my shoulders, and helped me be free to be the Christian daughter of God I have always been without any more guilt, conviction or stress. I'm so happy! He reminded me that Christ was already crucified for what I had done; the priest was there to help me stay close to God, not beat me away from God! And you know, my upbringing in and Biblical education I received through the various Protestant denominations really prepared my heart for my return home to the Church. It's like having received a double bounty of treasure from Heaven above! Don't be afraid - you will find out that "going home" will be one of the greatest gifts you've ever received! AND you'll probably meet some really wonderful people when you go back, too - people who won't judge, who won't burden you with high standards and expectations, and who will just love you and welcome you back into the fold! Your friend was such a poor example of how a Christian should treat others, if she was one. How sad. Don't let her be your measuring stick, and whatever you do, please don't let fear stop you. Just call your priest and talk with him. He'll be able to set you in the right direction. You can email me any time you want - I'll be happy to answer any questions you have as best as I can. Just please don't be afraid!
And as far as your so-called friend's cutting, heartless, insensitive remarks? Turn them into good for yourself! Let them be just the thing to help break you out of any shell that is holding you hostage! Please keep in mind, though, that if you've been through a lot, maybe you have just really needed some time to relax and re-set. There's nothing wrong with that! You just don't want it to become something that becomes a hiding place instead of a rejuvenating place. And I'm willing to bet that woman's ideas of "fun" aren't really your taste, either. Don't beat yourself up over that. I have friends who invite me out to go do things that are just not "me," but I don't go, and they understand. Real friends understand, and simply make other plans at another time to do other things that interest both. As I always tell my son: there are plenty of people in the world who will tear you down, but friends don't do that - friends accept one another just as they are, and friends build each other up! When my husband and I were married, my Mom advised me to surround myself with people I love and who love me, and to not sweat the small stuff. I think she's a brilliant lady, and those words have come to have a much deeper meaning the older I get - they don't just pertain to how to handle a wedding, they pertain to life in general!
And I really do encourage youto move forward with your dream blog! Maybe you could include your story of rediscovering yourself and your faith! I'd find that an extremely interesting! Never sell yourself short, girl. You may just inspire others through your thoughts and experiences!
Sometimes the world can beat us down so badly that we forget looking up is always an option. I am so sorry you have suffered so much under the oppression of your ex. But he's your ex now... You're free to BE! So BE!!! Look up!!! :) Don't let fear get in your way of dancing in the fresh air and sunshine... Once you brave those first steps, you really will realize that there was truly nothing to fear but the fear itself!
Finally, remember: you've always got friends here! You're not alone! Be strong and believe in yourself - you can do all of the things your heart's been desiring. Just take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other... those first steps are the scariest. But I'm telling you, before you know it, you'll be running and learning to fly!!!
Blessings for an exciting New Year!
Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 8:58:18 PM
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Lisa~ It wasn't too long ago that my fiance told me he thought it was strange that I didn't really have any "real" friends. "Real" meaning girlfriends that I can go shopping with or just hang out with. I got to thinking about it and I guess I don't really. At first it kind of bummed me out. In high school I had lots of friends. A lot of those friends now are on paths I don't want or need to be a part of, some mad news there and others that have moved away and we've lost touch. So now I have a couple of friends that I talk on the phone with kinda regular, but we don't hang out and do "girl time." Like I said at first I was bummed, but then I did some reflecting. I have a job I enjoy, three wonderful kids I love spending time with, a good guy, hobbies and an old house that needs lots of TLC. And I suppose that is a really boring life to some, but I've decided it's not important what others think of me, what makes me happy is. I have a blog, that's seriously neglected here lately (LOL) if you'd like to take a look and I would love to read yours when you get one up and going.
And as far as "girl-time" goes I love sitting at my desk with a cuppa tea and catching up right here! I have met some of the greatest women and I am proud to call them my friends!
Hugs to you Lisa~
Melanie
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/ Etsy~http://www.etsy.com/shop/theflourishingfinch
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 9:50:33 PM
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Lisa,
I think you are more together than you realize. You have an idea of what you want your life to look like and that is huge. If you want to blog, don't worry about who will read it, blog for your own enjoyment.
When I taught catechism our priest told the children that our God has forgiven them before they even think to ask for forgiveness. I like to believe in this forgiving God and many times I have felt great knowing that I am forgiven before I even get to confession.
As far as friends go, always opt for quality rather than quantity. You are not strange, just mismatched with this young lady. You obviously have much in common with many of us here at MJF, so you have come to the right place.
Marianne |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Dec 26 2010 : 10:12:51 PM
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Lisa- I think that what your friend said was thoughtless and cruel. I am so sorry that she said that. Please don't judge yourself. If you have a boring life- so do I. And I love my life for the most part! Sure I would love to have more time to do "fun" things but I wouldn't want to cut into time with my daughter for that. And it doesn't help if no matter how "fun" it was if you are just stressed out when it is time for work again!
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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jpbluesky
True Blue Farmgirl
6066 Posts
Jeannie
Florida
USA
6066 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 02:18:33 AM
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Most possibly, your "friend" is really trying to deal with her own issues. Most wounds inflicted by a friend have nothing to do with you and everything to do with a problem they are battling. You sound like you have a good life, and enjoy every blessing you have and let go of those who cannot share them. Pray, and move forward and new blessings will come.
Farmgirl Sister # 31
www.blueskyjeannie.blogspot.com
Psalm 51: 10-13 |
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HealingTouch
True Blue Farmgirl
3448 Posts
Darlene
Kunkletown
Pa
USA
3448 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 06:33:01 AM
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Lisa...I'm sorry to say but that person was not your friend because a friend would never do that. First let me say that to God there is no sin different than the other. Sin is sin. Killing someone and lying are sin period. We have all sinned and done things we regret. That is why Jesus went to the cross...to save us. As long as we ask for forgiveness God forgives us. We usually don't forgive ourselves. There is NOTHING that the blood of Christ won't forgive as long as ask and repent. If you feel uncomfortable confessing to a priest don't do it. I personally believe you need only to confess to God. You don't need an intercessory to intervene. God is a Loving God not a punishing God. I just recently found a new church that I would never have thought of going to and it has blessed me beyond belief. I have met so many kind people and these are the people I choose to be around. You just need to get out there and see where you belong. Start by reading your Bible and see how you feel.
I live with a husband that is controlling and mentally and verbally abusive. Fear always kept me here when I was younger and the kids were still home.In retrospect I should have gone. So be glad you have an Ex and move on in peace. I am older now and I missed out on a life that could have been with someone who was kind and loved me for me and not for what I could Do for him! I have been isolated because of him but I have come to enjoy me. This forum has saved my life in more ways than one. The sisters are kind, supportive,loving and nonjudgmental. This is a safe place to say anything.
Find a cause you might like to support. Volunteering for something you like will bring you with like minded people and will give you a reason to get out there. Take time to evaluate your life and then start to become the new you. You can do it and we are all here to help you. Be Blessed.
Blessings and Peace,
Darlene
Sister 1922
God first, everything else after!
DNA doesn't make us sisters, Love does!
The road to a friends house is never to long!
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 06:42:52 AM
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i am sad for you. i think nini said its more her problem than yours. what matters to me in life is how I am doing? am i happy? what matters is how you feel. i was dumped by a friend. she was needy and i was not fulfilling her needs. so find new ones and enjoy how you choose to live. just a thought happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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Marcia30
True Blue Farmgirl
159 Posts
Marcia
Mt. Carmel
IL
USA
159 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 07:08:19 AM
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I am boring too!! And i love it!!! I don't work i stay at home with my kids and when they go to school and my hubby goes to work i am all alone and boring and it is great. I actually have no friends. I just have family i talk to. My husband always say when it comes down to it you can only count on your family. Friends will always let you down or leave bu your family will always be there. All you have is family.
Snowed in with nothing to do but bake! I am gonna get soooo faaaaattt. LOLOLOLOLO
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treelady
True Blue Farmgirl
2309 Posts
Julie
Medina
ND
USA
2309 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 07:59:11 AM
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Well said Nini, and how true! Lisa, you have many friends on this forum and I for one do boring stuff most of the time. Marcia, I take baked goods donations :)
Julie
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 08:26:06 AM
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I think a true "friend" would let a friend be whomever they are, unless of course, it's self destructive. Sounds like she's the one with the issues...
There are plenty of similarly "boring" (if that's what the kids are callin' it now  ) gals on this forum you can commune with--and I don't think we're at ALL boring!!!
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 08:27:03 AM
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I am really sorry that your friend has this attitude. I understand as I am a homebody.
You could look for another church. Don't concern yourself so much what kind it is. Go where you are comfortable. God loves you no matter what. If you have asked forgiveness for your past, then it is past.
Have a wonderful day.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Dec 27 2010 : 4:08:54 PM
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Lisa, darlin, that girl who doesn't want to be your friend is not a true friend. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't sound boring at all. Your friend sounds judgemental and not someone I'd waste a second thought on. I have made lots of friends here on the forum, and many close ones when I started a local chapter. This is a good place to start. Sending you a hug, I'm sorry someone was so mean to you.
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE |
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Wildcrafter
True Blue Farmgirl
340 Posts
Suzanne
Seattle
WA
USA
340 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2010 : 09:21:45 AM
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"I would love to get back into the church but really not sure if I would be a good Christian(Catholic) due to the things I have done in my past..No nothing criminal just very immoral.."
If God went by that, then we'd all be in hell. From what I can figure out, it's not about what we've done. When we repent, He forgives and our sins are forgotten. We have a new chance to be the woman God put us on the earth to be. Each and every day.
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www.goodnaturedearthling.com
Cedar Mountain Herb School
http://goodnaturedearthling.wordpress.com/
Become a fan! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Good-Natured-Earthling/85786527923
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Laila
True Blue Farmgirl
273 Posts
Laila
Kutztown
PA
USA
273 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2010 : 09:43:30 AM
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Lisa,
I lead a boring life too and I love it!!! Please go back to church - whichever one you find where you feel at home. And remember - there is nothing and I mean NOTHING that you could ever do to make God stop loving you. We are all sinners but we know that no matter what happens God loves us unconditionally.
Laila |
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pinkroses
True Blue Farmgirl
2350 Posts
Sheila
Virginia
USA
2350 Posts |
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Dorinda
True Blue Farmgirl
1023 Posts
Dorinda
St. Cloud
Florida
USA
1023 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2010 : 12:51:55 PM
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Lisa, That happened to me one time when I was younger. My best friend ditched me. I want get into a long story. But I will tell you I was heart broken. I cried about it the first week. Then I got really mad. But after a while I did not miss her at all. I look at it that she is the one that lost a good friend not me. Because if she was any type of friend she would of never done what she did. Because I was very good to her. I even gave her a job in our office when she was down and out one time to help her and her husband out. That has been about 12 to 15 years ago. I now have lots of friends. We meet every Monday for lunch about 10 of us. Not long ago she happened to come in to where we were eating. I could tell she was really jealous. She has not
one friend that I know of. She lives about 2 miles down the road from me. We went to school together. I bet she really misses me!!!!
Seize The Day!
Dorinda |
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Room To Grow
True Blue Farmgirl
974 Posts
Deborah
Kingston
Georgia
USA
974 Posts |
Posted - Dec 28 2010 : 2:00:13 PM
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Lisa, This has happened to me as well. And I am better off without that person. And you will be better off without her. I am a home body and love being by myself. Dont get me wrong, I do have friends and I socialize. But my alone time is important to me so I dont go crazy...lol. Keep a smile on your face...
Deborah
we have moved to our farm...and love it |
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Across the Fence: My friend told me today we can't be friends |
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My friend told me today we can't be friends
