| Author |
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  I'm sad ='(  |
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 07 2010 : 6:56:37 PM
|
I guess maybe this is too much information, but here goes. I never could have children, and both husbands were opposed to adoption and now I'm 50 and my arms long for grandbabies that I don't have, my heart yearns for daughters and sons to love and spend the holidays with. I want to have more family. It is too late to adopt now and Andrew doesn't really want to go through it all anyway. We don't have the money to go through it with me on disability.
I'm going to grow old and have no children to look after me or love me. I'm a little scared and sad tonight. The holidays are always a little rough on me because of this. Everyone has babies and children but me, it seems. It's just hard for me some days.
I feel like I'm just whining now. Sorry
Mostly I'm sad for the children that I could never have ='(
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
|
|
|
traildancer
True Blue Farmgirl
485 Posts
Loyce
Glide
OR
USA
485 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2010 : 7:31:34 PM
|
Annika--I am sorry that you feel so sad. In one sentence you wrote, "I am going to grow old and have no children to look after me or love me." That may be true but there are others who love you, especially on this forum. We may not be able to look after you but we certainly care about you.
And, by the way, I really like your name!
The trail is the thing.... Louis L'Amour |
 |
|
|
Sitnalta
True Blue Farmgirl
4208 Posts
Jessica
NJ
USA
4208 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2010 : 8:29:42 PM
|
Annika- I know how hard it must be. I have babies, but I remember yearning for them and imagining them when we couldn't.
Know that you are VERY loved!!! It's hard at Christmas because we can't be beside you to show you how much we all love you, nor will it be the same as a child. But know, that your "sisters" here keep you close in our hearts! (Especially me girlie! --there's days your FB encouragement keeps me over the edge. You are so special and dear to me.
I am sorry you are down.
HUGS & LOVe
Jessie
"Wonder Woman hasn't got a cape, she just turned her apron around"
Farmgirl Sister #235 |
|
|
|
maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2010 : 8:30:55 PM
|
oh Annika. I'm not very good with words as you all know but please know that I love you soo much and will be praying for you this holiday season.
Please, please know you are loved so much and I will ALWAYS be here for you! I know I am young but if what people say is true I am much older than my years.
LOve you, love you, love you!!!
Hugs,
Hannah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Lifes not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
Just a small town country girl, farmgirl,loggergirl, trying to live her dreams. :)
P.s. I've been playing around with the spelling of my name ( weird I know) and I've decided that I will stick with Hannah for good. Sorry I got you all confused. Hugs!! |
|
|
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
|
|
Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2010 : 9:13:19 PM
|
| Hugs....I know what its like to be in your shoes. I offer you hugs of support and sisterhood. Have you considered signing up as a "big sister"? They have both big brothers and big sisters. You might find a rewarding relationship with a young person this way. One of my best friends had a "big brother" because he never knew his father. My friend is 36 now and they talk and meet up regularly. He was very influential in my friends life. |
|
|
|
Mama Jewel
True Blue Farmgirl
435 Posts
Jewel
Sweet Peas Farmette,
Bend, OR
USA
435 Posts |
Posted - Dec 07 2010 : 9:19:55 PM
|
Annika, a big hug wrapping around you!!! I agree with what the other gals have said. We're here for you. I dealt with infertility and we couldn't birth any children, but eventually adopted (two of them were our foster sons). Some of the things that helped me deal with the yearning for holding children were sponsoring children (we sponsored international kids through Holt International, but there are many diff places). Also, working with children at church. Fostering kids (we still are in touch with one of our foster *daughters*). I had even contacted the hospital to get info about rocking and holding babies born with drugs in their systems that struggle with "failure to thrive" & need human touch/snuggling while at NICU. On the opposite age spectrum, we've "adopted" some neighbors of ours who are like grandparents to our kids and we call them Gramma & Grandpa. My parents live far away and my husband's parents are no longer living, so having this sweet couple has meant so much to the kids and me. I love them so much. They are like parents to me. Just some thoughts. Families can be made in different ways. We love you!!
Farm Girl Sister #1683 Living Simply & Naturally on our lil Sweet Peas Farmette
"Do Everything in Love." 1 Cor 14
http://www.piecemama.etsy.com |
|
|
|
Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22944 Posts
22944 Posts |
|
|
highlandviewpantry
True Blue Farmgirl
214 Posts
WV
USA
214 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2010 : 07:03:17 AM
|
Annika - God bless you. There are so many people out there that need a motherly love (even ones with mothers). I will pray that the Lord brings people into your path for you to mother. Many blessings!
www.thehighlandviewpantry.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2010 : 10:59:18 AM
|
Thank you all so much! I am some better this morning and feel loved and cared for *hugs*
I couldn't do it some days with out your girls! I love each and every one of my farm sisters to pieces!
Much love and happiness to all of you
Annika
Sister #13 |
|
|
|
Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2010 : 2:13:08 PM
|
There is a couple that I know. They had one child a boy and have four others that lived with them and all four of those children are there for them with their grandchildren. They did not adopt those kids but they helped, prayed for and nurtured them. All my step children call me mom right along with their real mother. Do not lose heart ask God to give you children that you can mentor who will be the children he chooses for you. Big hugs and hang in there no love is ever wasted.
CMF |
|
|
|
knittinchick
True Blue Farmgirl
1854 Posts
Megan
Wisconsin
1854 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2010 : 6:16:47 PM
|
Annika, you will definitely be in my prayers this holiday season. I don't know what it's like to not be around family during the holidays, but I know it must be hard. Just know that we'll always be here for you, and I know you have an inner strength that will get you through this. ((((HUGS)))) and prayers.
God's and Holiday's Blessings,
Megan aka Loretta Rae
At heart, I am both a sassy city girl and a down-home country gal.
The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work. |
|
|
|
ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4845 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4845 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2010 : 6:33:20 PM
|
I was thinking about the women who made the biggest mark on me as I was growing up, and none of them were my mother! You are a loving person and you can make a difference in many peoples lives, young or old, because of that. You are a blessing and are blessed too! Rejoice and celebrate that not only during the holiday season, but every day.
Dawn in IL |
|
|
|
debtea2
True Blue Farmgirl
1853 Posts
deborah
nutley
nj
USA
1853 Posts |
Posted - Dec 08 2010 : 7:48:24 PM
|
prayers sent to you that you may get your wish and fill your hearts desire..you say your not able to adopt but there are
so many children that need foster homes especially now and you are not too
old!!! blessings deborah
http://jerseyfarmgirl.blogspot.com/
inch by inch we find our way
jersey farmgirl
#1330
|
|
|
|
sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2010 : 07:14:59 AM
|
i think mama jewel has the right idea. go find some kids that need love. there are many moms and dads that could use a granny. call child services or your church. in these tough times many families are falling apart. the men fall apart. they leave. if you could find a mom that needs help it would be wonderful for you all. anyone in your neighborhood? your posts are filled with so much love and understanding, i know you would be great for kids. also rocking babies in the critical ward is a fine thing for sure. those moms need a break now and then. we have been there with a Gson. the help was so helpful. sending you hugs and love sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
|
|
|
|
Karrieann
True Blue Farmgirl
1900 Posts
Karrieann
Northeast
Georgia
USA
1900 Posts |
|
|
Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Dec 09 2010 : 2:34:41 PM
|
Annika - I'm so sorry it has taken so long to respond to your post. I was out of the loop for a couple of days. I just want you to know that you are very, very special to me, and it makes me so sad that you're having such a tough time with all of this. We dealt with infertility, too, and it was so painful. We opted to foster children, believing that there are so many kids out there who need a family, and we were a family who desperately wanted a child. At the time, I cried out to God more than I can even remember, but I trusted that He put this desire for a family in my heart, so I knew I could trust He could fill this empty, aching space somehow. I didn't know how, but I knew whatever His plan was for me would be greater than anything I could ever imagine or hope for. I believe the same is true for you, my dear sister. I really, really do.
Eventually we were blessed to have our son naturally, but we also have an amazing extended family of former foster kids and their children... and even their siblings and parents! I can't imagine my life without them, and I am so grateful for how God worked all things together for our good, just as He promised. I don't know the extent of your disabilities, and I am sure it is a very real concern for you and Andrew. But I don't think that you should be afraid to look into foster parenting, because, just as children come in all shapes and sizes and with different challenges, so do parents. Perfection isn't the key; love is!
And my husband wasn't up for the idea of fostering initially, but once we visited the agency and learned about what foster care could mean to us, the kids and their families, he didn't even bat an eye at the idea. Maybe through prayer Andrew will consider this option with you. (Remember - all things are possible with God!) If not, though, I agree with all the other girls - there is the Big Sister program, which will fill your heart in ways you cannot imagine, as well as many other community programs in which you can become involved. It's so true - children can come into a family from under the heart, but they are ALWAYS born through the love IN your heart. And I know you have limitless love in your heart, Annika, because you are always right there to care for and lift up each and every one of your farmgirl sisters! However your family comes together, I know it will be such a blessing to your precious heart!
Families really do come and grow in so many different ways. I know that you are a woman of faith, so please know that I am praying for you and with you in agreement that the Lord gives you a family of your own in His own special way. It may not be as expected, but I assure you, it will be wonderful! And no matter what, you've always got all of us sisters here. You're never alone! We all love you dearly!
Warm hugs - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
|
|
|
violetrose
True Blue Farmgirl
960 Posts
Ruth
Epworth
GA
USA
960 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2010 : 10:32:21 AM
|
Annika, My heart aches for you sweet sister!
Nini has written what I wish I could, she is so gifted in her writing, and shares so deeply from her heart. As I type this little note to you I can hardly see the screen for the tears coming out of my eyes. I understand the "hole in you heart"! I have many friends that are childless, and I have so hurt for them. The Lord blessed me with two wonderful girls, after loosing my first child. After they were grown and gone, I found myself alone (my husband left me). I was a foster parent, and it was a wonderful experience. I still hear from one of "my" girls 19 years later. My heart still goes out to Foster children and we (my husband and I) still think about fostering, but we are both nearing 70 years old, not sure we could handle it on a daily basis. Then I think about being an "emergency home"! I just love kids!
I worked with a single gal that longed to be married and have children, but neither happened for her. She was a big sister and that was a wonderful relationship for both of them. She so looked forward to every week being with her little sister. She probably still has a relationship with her as she was with her from early elementary school through high school and made such a big impact on her. Sandra really saved that little girls life. I retired and have lost contact with her.
Then I had a male boss once that loved kids, but he didn't have any kids, so he volunteered at the hospital to rock babies. Most of them were "drug" babies that were going through withdrawals (breaks my heart), but he too couldn' wait to go to the hospital every week to see "his" babies! What a ministry that was, both to him and the babies he loved!
Well sweet girl, you are in my prayers that the Lord will bring you the desire of your heart as only He can!
hugs and prayers, Ruth
Farmgirl Sister # 1738
God loves each one of us as if there were only one of us!
St. Augustine |
|
|
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2010 : 10:38:07 AM
|
Thank you! thank you! thank you! Nini and Ruth, my heart is happy. I will look into fostering or becoming a Big Sister. I have a lot of love in me and hearing from others who have fostered has given me hope. Thank all of you from the bottom of my lil' ol' heart for the support!
Love and hugs!
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
|
|
|
|
levisgrammy
True Blue Farmgirl
9704 Posts
Denise
Beavercreek
Ohio
USA
9704 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2010 : 7:36:03 PM
|
Annika,
Something that we do at this time of year and it always help us as well as others, we call our local Salvation Army and they will give you a family to sponsor for Christmas. They will give you whatever size family you feel comfortable taking on. We did a family of 6 children and their grandmother one year. The grand mom could not afford a Christmas for them so they gave us a list of the children's ages and sizes and we purchased their gifts. The Salvation Army supplies groceries for them. We just felt it helped us by helping them. We felt that even though we would not meet them they would know that someone cared if they had a Christmas that year.
It really helps when we can get our minds off ourselves and on to others and honestly we end up wondering what we ever did before. Usually one thing leads to another and you find yourself so blessed by being involved in the care of others. God always manages to work it out so we are the ones who are blessed.
My parents used to take foster children when I was quite young and I remember this one boy who lived with us. He was a teenager and was not with us for more than a couple of years but after he was on his own he would come see my mom every year on mother's day. No matter where he was living or how far away he always made the trip to see her. She really gave of herself and it came back to her tenfold.
Just putting some things out there for you to think about. I know foster parenting is a big step and that is why I told you about the SA because that is something that is short term.
I hope you find what it is you want to do and I know you will be blessed for it.
farmgirl sister#43
O, a trouble's a ton or a trouble's an ounce,
Or a trouble is what you make it!
And it isn't the fact that you're hurt that counts,
But only--how did you take it?
--Edmund C. Vance.
|
|
|
|
maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Dec 11 2010 : 9:16:07 PM
|
Annika, I think you would make an awesome Big sister or a foster parent! I'm praying for you honey! Know that God has such a beautiful plan for you. :)
Hugs,
Hannah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Lifes not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.
Just a small town country girl, farmgirl,loggergirl, trying to live her dreams. :)
P.s. I've been playing around with the spelling of my name ( weird I know) and I've decided that I will stick with Hannah for good. Sorry I got you all confused. Hugs!! |
|
|
|
MotherLodeBeth
True Blue Farmgirl
110 Posts
Beth
Calaveras County
California
USA
110 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2010 : 12:16:50 AM
|
quote:
Originally posted by Annika
I guess maybe this is too much information, but here goes. I never could have children, and both husbands were opposed to adoption and now I'm 50 and my arms long for grandbabies that I don't have, my heart yearns for daughters and sons to love and spend the holidays with. I want to have more family. It is too late to adopt now and Andrew doesn't really want to go through it all anyway. We don't have the money to go through it with me on disability.
I'm going to grow old and have no children to look after me or love me. I'm a little scared and sad tonight. The holidays are always a little rough on me because of this. Everyone has babies and children but me, it seems. It's just hard for me some days.
I feel like I'm just whining now. Sorry
Mostly I'm sad for the children that I could never have ='(
((((Annika)))Am so sorry you never raised any children. Have you considered being a grandma to someones child(ren) near you? Have a friend who was adopted by a family, because the parents wanted a Grandma for their children, and had so much love to give. We did this when we lived far away from all our relatives. As a widow I have 'adopted' some college kids who either have no family or they dont have the funds to go home for the holidays. Just know that some here care and would love to get to know you better and in a way adopt you as a relative.
MotherLodeBeth
~Was born in the wrong era~ |
|
|
|
missusprim
True Blue Farmgirl
400 Posts
Karen
Fostoria
Ohio
USA
400 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2010 : 09:33:04 AM
|
Sending big hugs to you today and hoping you're feeling better. Only advice I can give is to maybe see if a shelter dog or cat could use a warm and loving home such as yours. They sure do feel the void of children, and fill up empty hearts.
In a way, I am in 'almost' the same boat. Although I have two adult children from my first marriage......I am happily married to my forever friend and wish so very much to have more kids but I feel we (both 48) are getting too old and have thought about adopting a Down Syndrome baby/child. Maybe you can find my post on it. But that's where we are right now.
Or, possibly make some blankets, hats, etc. for a local children's home or for some needy kids who could surely use them this winter?
As much as my heart yearns to have a little one again in my arms, it helps to console myself for the things I do have in life - and know that I could be much worse off.
That's all I got right now! Again.......many hugs your way! |
|
|
|
texdane
Farmgirl Legend Chapter Leader Chapter Guru
4658 Posts
Nicole
Sandy Hook
CT
USA
4658 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2010 : 11:42:38 AM
|
Annika,
I am sorry I didn't see your post until now. I am so sorry you feel so sad. But you are very loved. You are such a wonderful person. You were the first person who emailed me when I joined the forum, and I wish I lived closer to give you a hug. Remember you don't have to be a blood relative to be a "grandparent". My daughter has three "sets" of grandparents who love her, but don't live close. She is blessed to have an "Auntie Julie" , "Auntie Camille" and "Uncle Jack", all of whom have been like grandparents to her. When I remember my grandparents, I also remember my "Lucy", the woman across the street who was everybit a grandmother as my "real" ones. I still miss her. I kept in touch with her until the day she died and I look at her picture often. She was a constant, ever-loving, positive person in my life. You don't have to be related to someone to love them. Open your heart to a friend or neighbor's child. Kids are so responsive to love, and can never have too much! Hope you are feeling better today, know you are very loved here on the forum!!!
Nicole
Farmgirl Sister #1155
KNITTER, JAM-MAKER AND MOM EXTRAORDINAIRE |
|
|
|
Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2010 : 12:01:32 PM
|
Thank you so much for your sweet post Nicole! I am doing nicely today =) I'm getting a Christmas tree! Going to go shopping for some gifts for needy kids in my town and going to have a candle lit supper with my hunny! I will take all suggestions given and run with them!!! Looking forward to being a surrogate "Grandma"! There are many families in the area that could use an extra "Auntie" or"Grandma" so that is the path I am taking at the moment =)
It'll be fun wrapping gifts for the kids. I'm going to go to the Salvation Army and see what they can do about hooking me up with a family to "adopt" for the holidays =)
Thank you Nicole, and a very, very merry Christmas to you and your family!!!
Annika
Farmgirl & sister #13
Palouse Prairie Girls Chapter
http://palouseprairiegirls.blogspot.com/
http://prairiegirlsjournal.blogspot.com/
Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci
|
|
|
|
eggfarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
253 Posts
Kristy
Melvern
KS
USA
253 Posts |
Posted - Dec 12 2010 : 3:53:00 PM
|
Annika,
My heart breaks for you ! I can imagine that pain through my son and DIL having just been told the only way they will have children is adoption. My son is all for it as I am adopted. But my DIL is a flat no. So praying for that to be ,made clear for them.
I can not imagine that feeling of alone in our "Senior "Years. I pray for comfort and a wonderful purpose to be revealed to you. I am so on board with you adopting or being a Auntie or Grandma to children in your community that do not have that in their lives. I was blessed to have a son but never able to have more. I married the love of my life and he has 2 children. I say they are mine now. I am blessed by 2 grandbabies. My love passed away this past July so I do understand alone for the holidays as the kids are all off to the inlaws this year. I plan to invite another widow that is alone over to spend the day together. I believe reaching out to others is such a blessing. I pray God will fill your arms this season, with joy,love and happiness !!
Hugs....
Hugs...Kristy
"Live like you were dyin'"
Sis #2339
http;//www.myhealingthroughartstory.blogspot.com |
|
|
|
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: I'm sad ='( |
|
I'm sad ='(
