| Author |
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up:  I'm sad ='(  |
|
Lady Woodworker
True Blue Farmgirl
259 Posts
Karen
Chamberlain
Maine
USA
259 Posts |
 Posted - Dec 13 2010 : 4:25:42 PM
|
Dear Annika,
I can relate to your sorrow. I'm 51 and also have no children. I have one niece with whom I'm very close--but even that has it's limits. You just know...
There's no getting around it. It is a lonely and often difficult road to be childless. It's a profound feeling of being on the outside looking in. It's not unlike the loneliness of being male, I think.
I also wanted to adopt but, like you, my husband was not on board with it.
I have been lucky though. I have enjoyed the gift of some dear friends who share their children with me. One of my best friends deemed a sort of "extra" godparent for each of her children when they were quite young. Because of this, I get the joy of having a special friendship with her middle daughter, who has been a great blessing in my life and, I can tell, I have eased her mother's stresses and the tensions that sometimes grow between them too.
Another thing I do (Cherime mentioned it above as well): I'm a "Big Sister" in the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization. I have had a "little sister" for over three years now. This is really simple and fun. All it takes is a willingness to commit an hour or so each week to a child. These kids are not "all messed up" or from bad homes (though some do have greater needs than others). Mine is actually from a well-balanced, two parent home. It turns out that I'm a few years older than my little sister's mom and once in awhile this requires some explanation on the playground when schoolmates learn that I am the big sister. I remember one little boy who look really puzzled -- he looked up at me and said, "Kinda OLD, aren't ya?"
My little sister and I do tons of crafts, we read books and we run races. Without her, I would not know the joys of Glitter Glue. I would not have known about Flat Stanley or the Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I teach her complex "high-fives" and good vocabulary words. My little sister and I have some history now. We're comfortable buddies who look forward to our weekly visits with excitement. It's more satisfying than I ever imagined it could be. (Except maybe for the running--as I have yet to win a race) ; )
There are so many ways to help kids. I have thought a lot about sponsoring an impoverished child. It isn't very costly. My mother did that for years and it was deeply rewarding for her. Becoming a reading or math tutor is another way to help a kid on an individual basis. And, it's never difficult to find someone in need of a kind and responsible babysitter.
I'm sure you know of these things and more and it is likely that you have tried some of them. There are so many good ways to connect with kids and so many kids in need, at so many levels.
Isn't the world lucky that there are women like us who can give an extra hand?
My mother told me that there is always someone in need of mothering and that you don't have to give birth to "mother".
I know she was right.
Hugs,
Karen
|
 |
|
|
5 acre Farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1007 Posts
~~~*Terri*~~~
WA.
USA
1007 Posts |
Posted - Dec 29 2010 : 9:29:05 PM
|
Look at the things you can do and have..."adopt"   someone elses grandchildren that live too far away from heir real grandparents, we have!, several grandchildren at Church, have grandparents who live 1,000 miles away or so.,,,they come her for the hugs and whatever else it is that Grandchildren do with thier Grandparents, fills the void.
Farmgirl Sister #368
~~~**Terri**~~~
http://thecontentedwoman.blogspot.com
Life is too short, is just a vapor, Live it like you wont have another minute....because you may not!!! |
|
|
|
FieldsofThyme
Farmgirl Guide & Schoolmarm / Chapter Leader
4928 Posts
USA
4928 Posts |
Posted - Jan 03 2011 : 06:17:45 AM
|
Your post made me wonder. Is there a way to foster babies in your area? Maybe there is a daycare with infants that could use help? I know when I was working, I had to drive my kids to 2 different daycares because infant care was so hard to find. Another idea is to babysit for infants and on up. I have thought about that too. I am praying for you and hope I have you some ideas to fill that gap you are missing in your life. Hugs and hugs.
Farmgirl #800
http://momzonetakingtimeformom.blogspot.com/
http://scrapreusedandrecycledartprojects.blogspot.com/
|
|
|
|
Hogs & Quiches & Prayers Round-up: I'm sad ='( |
|
|
|
I'm sad ='(
