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Family Matters:  What Would You Do?  |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
 Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 6:17:50 PM
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I am the only family member who is willing and wants to do the Thanksgiving dinner. I really go all out for it and put my all into it big time. I grow all the veges needed in my own garden. I make the noodles, rolls, pies, and everything from scratch. I have a huge menu with 9 pies and brownies for dessert.
I have always told everyone in the family that I'm gonna do this every year. I always have only had my sisters and their families, my parents, and my in-laws show up.
This year I got calls from a lot of outside family that they wanted to come. I called everyone 2 weeks ago to confirm and they all said yes. I was planning dinner for 30 plus people. I have 2 turkeys thawing, or rather thawed, in my fridge.
Then tonight I start getting phone calls. Everyone is canceling! I only have a positive yes from 8 people with one 'I'm gonna pop by on my way home from work'!
I am so upset! I had to go to the bathroom and cry. My hubby gets upset when my family makes me cry by dumping on me like this. I have spent a fortune on food. I have been working for the last 2 weeks getting things ready. I rearranged my living room to accomodate extra tables. I have 2 upright freezers and they are stuffed with all the supplies for all the baking and cooking I was planning.
I was so looking forward to a really big family get together. My family hasn't had a big family dinner in years. I thought I was gonna get to host it. I am just devastated.
It seems stupid to have more pies than guests. I have twice the number of side dishes planned as I have guests coming. I have 30lbs of turkey for 13 people total counting my family, and 3 of those people are toddlers!
I am so disgusted that I want to just cancel the whole mess after this year and just start cooking a small dinner for my little family only.
What would you do?
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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nut4fabric
True Blue Farmgirl
885 Posts
Kathy
Morgan Hill
CA
USA
885 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 6:26:54 PM
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Call the local Police Department and tell them that you are cooking and would love for any on duty officers that are hungry to stop by for a good meal. There are always police officers and fire fighters that have to work on the holidays and a warm meal when they can't get home is a real treat besides it makes for some interesting company and conversations.
Kathy |
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gramadinah
True Blue Farmgirl
3557 Posts
Diana
Orofino
ID
USA
3557 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 6:31:43 PM
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Tell the people that you have put out alot of time and effort. Then tell them they will not be asked again. Then use up what you can freeze what you can and cook both turkeys and freeze in small portions for use later. Then forgive and forget only plan and invite those you truly want there and will show up. It use to happen to me too. But it is eating at you and I believe telling them will help you it did me but then LET IT GO.
Diana
Farmgirl Sister #273 |
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AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 6:49:21 PM
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Angela, I envy your energy !! Don't let the no-shows deprive you of your pleasure in sharing. They don't appreciate you. You will have quality, not quantity in your home. Linger around the table, talk and laugh.
Kathy has a good idea. There are many people who are working on Thanksgiving. |
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TJinMT
True Blue Farmgirl
211 Posts
TJ
Billings
MT
USA
211 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 7:51:52 PM
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Oh man. That really stinks!! But trying to look on the other side (after a good hard cry or three!):
Hey, talk about Once a Month Cooking! You can freeze alot of this stuff pre-cooked and give yourself some nice breaks this winter! Especially all that homegrown and healthy food.
Or... You could look around and see if you can find a family - maybe thru your/a local church - who needs Thanksgiving dinner?? Either invite them or take it to them... lots of elderly people love that sort of thing (real family meals) but don't have the option of cooking it anymore. Could you bring food to some folks in a local rest home, or invite some of them home with you (if you know any??)?
What about other friends, especially single friends? Singles group at church or something? People through your/your husband's work??
The thing is - God let this happen for a reason. Right? So... how can you use the situation for Him, instead of letting the turkeys ruin your wonderful plans?
~TJ |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
Posted - Nov 22 2010 : 9:40:19 PM
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I think you have been given a lot of really great advice. I think it is horrible that so many of your family are being so regardless of your feelings. It really hurts when family does that. *hugs* I wouldn't say no to your Thanksgiving meal! It sounds wonderful! Could you pass the plate of brownies my way?
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 06:58:43 AM
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I use to kill myself getting Christmas together. I would cook food and have a gift for each person. I got slapped in the face so many times that I do for who wants to come and forget about the rest.
I am sure many other people would love to come to dinner. The fireman or police man idea is wonderful. There are lots of people in this world that would be very happy with your caring.
You are a wonderful person. Remember that.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 07:17:49 AM
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Angela, I am so sorry that your guests hurt your feelings. I would definately come! You sound like a wonderful hostess and all you want is for your family to be together and share the bounty. The suggestions you have gotten sound like a good idea. It may start a new tradition for you to invite police, firemen, elderly or a family to share your meal with you. The suggestion to freeze some is a good idea too! Sounds like you have the freezer room. I know that it is not the same and you are hurting. It really stings when someone cancels their plans. It is hard not to take it personally. I am praying that you find comfort in your farmgirl friends and enjoy your meal with those that are truely thankful.
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922
Happy to be a "Raggedy Ann" in a Barbie World!
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 10:12:38 AM
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Angela - you are so wonderful to have done all of this for your loved ones! I'm in awe! I'm with Diane - I would come, too! You're incredible! Keep your plans in tact and enjoy your company that does come! I agree with the others that inviting the on duty police, firemen, etc. to join you would be such a blessing! Every Christmas morning, my father-in-law would invite the garbage men in for a big hearty breakfast, and to this day the stories of those holidays are told with such love and laughter - they are GOOD times! That's what holidays are about! Also, if you belong to a church, please check to see what they do - maybe they would welcome some of your delicious pies! Our priest opens the church up to our entire community for a free Thanksgiving dinner every year! Thanksgiving morning, the whole place is a-flutter with people bringing in all sorts of delectable dishes and treats! Nobody where we live needs to go hungry or be alone on account of the generosity of people in our town. That sure makes our bountiful Thanksgiving meal a lot easier to digest! And finally, yes - the soup kitchens would probably welcome your gifts, too. And you know what? I bet your meal will go sooooo much farther and so much more deeply appreciated this year than you had ever anticipated! I'm so sad that your loved ones hurt you like that, but I am so excited about the possibilities that will fill your heart fuller than you could ever have imagined! God bless you - and may you all have a blessed, happy Thanksgiving! Big hugs - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
Edited by - Ninibini on Nov 23 2010 10:13:29 AM |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 10:31:57 AM
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Well, I think it's terrible that your family flaked out, but, I guess my line of thinking is along with the others. Call the local police and fire department, and even the children's home, if you have one. I can't imagine how hurt you must feel, but I bet it would be quickly replaced with the joy a bountiful home cooked meal can bring to others.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 2:21:14 PM
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My pastor has a list of home bound members, and of course my grandparents can't get out for long drives, so I will be boxin up meals to be delivered that evening. The church is even providin me with the boxes to fill. We had 3 sugar-free pies planned for some of the family that's now not showin, so there will be more than enough for the ones on the churches list.
My grandparents are thrilled that we will be drivin out there for Thanksgiving. My grandpa asked my mom if I was only sendin one slice of pie. I about laughed my head off! He is a total pie-addict! My DH has already planned an takin 2 slices of each kind out before dinner to put back for my grandparents. He knows how much they love homemade pies. My grandma used to make one every friday night for after church, until last year when she just couldn't handle the rollin pin anymore. Now pie is only for special occasions and then someone else brings one out to him.
We spoke to our local police dept. There is only 5 officers who work there and only one on shift for Thanksgiving. It's the town marshall and he's friends with my DH, so he said he'd stop by for his break about 30 minutes after dinner is supposed to start here. So that worked out perfectly!
We're gonna be sharin dinner with everyone it looks like!
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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Ninibini
True Blue Farmgirl
7577 Posts
Nini
Pennsylvania
USA
7577 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 3:06:07 PM
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That's wonderful, Angela! Turning lemons into lemonade - sure makes life sweet! Happy, happy, happy Thanksgiving! Hugs - Nini
God gave us two hands... one to help ourselves, and one to help others!
Farmgirl Sister #1974 |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4737 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4737 Posts |
Posted - Nov 23 2010 : 3:21:01 PM
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What a great Thanksgiving you are going to have Angela! I think it is more fun to share a holiday meal with those who really appreciate it! Enjoy your day, I'm sure all those touched by your generosity will be most thankful your original "guests" canceled!
Dawn in IL |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22937 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22937 Posts |
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simplyflowers
True Blue Farmgirl
489 Posts
Jamie
Locust Grove
Virginia
USA
489 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2010 : 02:39:10 AM
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Angela - I'm so sorry that you were upset and hurt by the family not showing for a dinner you have planned so carefully and put so much effort into. But plan B is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Warms my heart to hear the new plans and i cant wait to hear how those wonderful pies are enjoyed!!!! How great for those that will be receiving love from your heart and kitchen this holiday! By the way: maybe this was a sign anyhow... [i totally believe in signs :)]... perhaps those who you are actually giving to need it more than those that will not be attending....
“Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.”
Ashley Smith
Check out my blog!! http://thehappycalamity.blogspot.com/ |
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Lessie Louise
True Blue Farmgirl
1406 Posts
Carol
PECULIAR
MO
USA
1406 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2010 : 06:23:25 AM
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I am so sorry that this happened to you. One thing my parents always did was invite guys serving in the Coast Guard over for Thanksgiving who could not get home. Is there some sort of Military base near you? Maybe a few soldiers can come. I love that you are making the best by delivering the meals. Happy Thanksgiving to you, Carol
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting them in a fruit salad!
Farmgirl #680! |
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goneriding
True Blue Farmgirl
1599 Posts
Winona
Central Oregon
USA
1599 Posts |
Posted - Nov 24 2010 : 09:07:28 AM
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See, there was a reason after all! Please don't forget the domestic abuse shelter, if there is any left over. Ya dun good!
For some 'venting'-type of entertainment, please read my blog, http://lostadventuresintrucking.blogspot.com . Now with pictures!!
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Family Matters: What Would You Do? |
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What Would You Do?
