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Family Matters:  Homeschool/Defining Moment (s)  |
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wncmtnmama
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
Marilyn
Asheville
NC
25 Posts |
 Posted - Oct 29 2010 : 08:13:01 AM
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For those of you who homeschool your children, what was your defining moment? And in particular, those of you who removed your kids from "traditional" schools and chose this path. Have you, or do you, homeschool while also holding down a job outside of the home?
I'm getting more frustrated over my daughters (2nd grade - public) schooling this year and don't know if I am just making up reasons to justify my desire to homeschool her. I've e-mailed and written her teacher notes that I don't feel her work is appropriate or challenging enough and then at least once per week her teacher is out of class - either it's a workshop, meetings or she's sick - and don't let me get started on the behaviors and actions of other students in her class.
I've also wondered if I should order some materials from a homeschool curriculum (spelling, math) and do that in conjunction with what she is getting now, because I feel she is not learning this year - every thing is too easy.
Thank you to anyone who can provide me with some insight, perspective
and advice.
Marilyn |
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Oct 29 2010 : 09:42:24 AM
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The defining "moment" was something inside that just said... No! It was after a lot of prayer and contemplation, but I just knew sending the first one to school was not a good idea and the other 4 just followed. I worked off and on, never full time until we started having teenagers. But then I realized, I was needed at home just as much if not more once we hit the teen stage. So I went back to part time.
Even if you are making up reasons to justify homeschooling, there is something going on in your heart that is obviously pulling you in that direction. One of the main reasons we continued to homeschool was not for the potential academic protege' possibilities, it was to keep our kids from being socialized in a defunct and rotten system. We chose their associations, had LOTS of socialization with people of all ages, but I can say this.... I let my youngest go to choir at the high school for a couple of years and it was by far the worst decision I made. It was the peer influence and overall school "owning your kid" attitudes that drove me crazy.
I raised 5. Homeschooled them all. Dabbled in a couple of part-time homeschool public school programs. The last one finsihed up this year. They are all doing great. Thankfully my goal of raising good people worked out!
Do what you love, love what you do. |
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wncmtnmama
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
Marilyn
Asheville
NC
25 Posts |
Posted - Oct 29 2010 : 10:27:04 AM
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Thank you, Angie. I agree with your desire to keep the kids out of a broken system and I am the same, somedays needing to deconstruct some of the garbage she is being fed. Last weeks deconstruction was on cutting trees - her teacher had said that people who cut down trees were enemies of the earth. Really? So I felt it my 'duty' to explained managed forests, tree farms, diseased & dangerous trees, how trees are a renewable resource, etc.
From the moment we had 'meet the teacher' night in August until today, I have had an uneasiness about this school year. I am scheduled for a parent/teacher conference next Tuesday and hope I can make my concerns very real and clear to her teacher. As much time as her teacher has missed this year, I don't feel she's even taking this school year seriously, seems to me she should have taken all her 'workshops' over the summer recess - not during class time!
I currently work a 3rd shift job 3 nights a week, but will soon be moving to a 7a-7p shift at the local hospital (also 3 days per week) and I'm trying to figure out a homeschool schedule for that kind of shift. Ideally, both my husband and I would like for me to stay home and homeschool our daughter, but until this economy improves I have to keep working or I'd be CAR-Schooling instead of HOME schooling - LOL.
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emsmommy5
True Blue Farmgirl
1547 Posts
Angie
Buckley
WA
USA
1547 Posts |
Posted - Oct 29 2010 : 4:44:54 PM
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DOne some of the "car-schooling" too. =) I totally believe that if there is a will, God will help make a way! Just ask.
Do what you love, love what you do. |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Oct 29 2010 : 7:07:51 PM
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My defining moment was when my the 6y/o who was scheduled for back surgery came home from school reeking of urine and bawling her eyes out. She was born with a tumor in her spine that went undiagnosed for years and then required major surgery. It was causing problems with her bladder and bowels along with her legs. The teacher had decided to put her in front of the class and asked them to tell her what a baby she was for wetting herself. Then she refused to let her go clean herself up and change her clothes. That teacher is lucky she still has her teeth in her mouth! I was ready to kill! She did lose her job, but my daughter was crushed and still has problems with other people as she still has bladder problems. It took me over a year to get her back to enjoying learning, but she has caught up nicely. Her older sister asked to be homeschooled when she was injured in p.e. her freshman year and the principal refused to allow her to get help that day. I wasn't even notified about it by the school. After she came home I took her straight to the e.r. and her wrist was broken! She no longer trusted that school or anyone who worked there. She said she told every teacher, counselor, lunch lady, and even the principal with no one listening to her. I was livid! But, as expected, nothing was done about it. Now my youngest will never see the inside of a public school classroom. I am homeschooling a 16y/o, a 10y/o, and starting to work with counting and letters with a 2y/o. I don't work outside the home, but I know people who do and homeschool at night. They make it work just fine.
Farmgirl Sister #1438
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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rough start farmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
3331 Posts
marianne
The Beautiful Pacific NW
Washington State
USA
3331 Posts |
Posted - Oct 30 2010 : 04:02:08 AM
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Marilyn,
I agree with many of the others who have urged you to trust your instincts. The only regrets I have is when I listened to the "experts" and I really knew what was best for my kids. It is easy to be intimidated by the school system, the principal has the teacher"s back and often you have everyone insinuating that you don't want to face the "truth" about your child. No one knows your child better than you do and no one will be your child's advocate.
I know that homeschooling my daughter made my and my husband's life easier. We probably should have homeschooled our son, but he wasn't interested in it.
Good luck at your conference with the teacher on Tuesday. Don't let her make you feel like you will be harming your child by leaving the public system. Most public school officials will bring up the socialization issue. Such nonsense to say homeschooled kids lack social skills. they are usually much more polite and able to carry on conversations at a higher level. You can find sports activities, musical opportunities, anything you want to give your child a chance at discovering. Good luck.
Marianne
By the way, my daughter just received an MBA from Gonzaga at 22 years old. It is worth it! |
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highlandviewpantry
True Blue Farmgirl
214 Posts
WV
USA
214 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 08:18:05 AM
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I was paying a very high tuition at a Catholic school and my kids were not getting a good education. My youngest daughter's teacher hated the new principal and took it out on the students. She threatened to quit everyday - my daughter would come home in tears thinking it was her fault. The teacher was so self absorbed that she was unaware of a new speech therapist for the school. As a result, my daughter (who really needed help) was not put into speech classes. We now homeschool and I drive her to a private speech therapist once a week.
www.thehighlandviewpantry.blogspot.com |
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Fiddlermom
Farmgirl in Training
47 Posts
Melissa
Logan
AL
USA
47 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 1:06:08 PM
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I wanted to homeschool for 3 years before I actually did. My daughter didn't want to leave her friends and did well in school. Her 7th grade year was terrible. Her grades dropped. I should have taken her out in the middle of the year. (I still wonder why I waited so long!) So, I started when my daughter was in 8th and my son in 3rd. My son should have never went to public school. He was only 5 and it still brings tears to my eyes and all that wasted time he and my daughter could have had at home with me. The first year was a year of adjustment for all of us. I heard a lot of, "My teacher does it this way.... or that way!"
Well, you must remember that you know your child better than anyone right now. Believe me, if you are even thinking about it you should do it! Don't wait like I did! Just follow your states laws and join Home School legal defense association. They will help you if you run into legal trouble with the system. Join a homeschool co-op, which is usually fun for the children and you get the support you need!
I will never send my kids back to the system. I've made my husband promise if something happens to me, he won't send them back!
I'm blessed that I don't have to work away from home. I've heard people that do work a job and still homeschool their children. It sounds impossible, but I can see where it can be done if you take out the hours of "busy" work they get at school. When you get to the "meat" and trim the fat, it only takes a few hours a day.
Don't worry about curriculum! The choices are endless!
Good Luck!
Melissa :-) Farmgirl Sister #885 |
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TJinMT
True Blue Farmgirl
211 Posts
TJ
Billings
MT
USA
211 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 3:32:34 PM
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Homeschooling is something that I chose to do instinctively with my kids. The facts about avoiding peer pressure - drugs and sex and all of that - the proof of how much better homeschooled kids do than their public school peers in standardized testing - the realization that I don't want my Christian children going into the world's environment without my protection at too young an age to defend their faith (I read recently that 88% of children from evangelical Christian homes walk away from their faith after maturity)... all of that was support to a decision that I just KNEW that it was something we should do. I worry about it sometimes but when I challenge the worry in my heart, I always find that it's about something that isn't that important anyway. If you've got that instinct and desire, don't worry about justifying it! Follow it!
Check out your local homeschool support - google Homeschooling in your town/area. There may be co-ops and support groups, meetings, other parents who do it and who can help your family out.
It's wonderfully fun to be the one who gets to see your child's eyes light up when they learn something... to feed into that joy of learning and sometimes learn along with them! There are great magazines out there that do curriculum reviews and have helpful articles and many points of view that all support homeschooling.
I'm a work FROM home mom so can't answer what it's like to work outside the home anymore - but remember you're not limited to M-F. If your new schedule is 3 days a week, there are still 4 left... take out the overhead of having to teach 30 other kids in with yours, and realize that time spent with your daughter one-on-one is much more effective time-wise.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
~TJ of Green Willow Place
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." -CS Lewis |
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KathyC
True Blue Farmgirl
583 Posts
Kathy
Gastonia
NC
USA
583 Posts |
Posted - Nov 02 2010 : 6:13:06 PM
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Marilyn
We home schooled our daughter from 1st grade on. My husband suggested it and it worked great for us. I also worked full time, but we own the business, an insurance agency (I had bringing my daughter to work from the time she was 2 days old). It is really exciting to be the one to teach your child. We are from North Carolina also and the state was very friendly to home schoolers, we finished schooling about 12 years ago.
If you haven't already, you should look here http://www.ncdnpe.org/hhh103.aspx for info on requirements for home schooling in North Carolina. The requirements are listed and also the recommendations. They "require" you operate your school "on a reqular schedule during at least 9 months of the year". They "recommend" at least 5 hours a day for 180 days a year. We schooled pretty much year around but for 3 or 4 days a week, whatever worked for our family at that time. Our support group was very active. We got together for art and science fairs, PE, field trips, moms night out and a few group dinners or picnics during the year. If you decide to home school, you can work it around your schedule and I know you will not regret it.
Kathy |
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homsteddinmom
True Blue Farmgirl
441 Posts
Brandee
bullard
tx
USA
441 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2010 : 10:16:26 AM
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This is my first year homeschooling. Our kids are 13 and 10, so we are 5th and 7th grade. We were continuously having problems with the school and the bus transportation. We finally decided that now was the time. We went with www.connectionsacademy.com they are still public school based but it is all done at home. They supply all the books and a computer for the kids. They still schedule work for them to do daily but it can be worked around a schedule. I work outside the home and we still manage to get it done. Now next year not sure what we are gonna do. Dh is dead set against them going back to the local school so we may look into small church schools or just keep them home. Time will tell! Good luck in what you decide. I always thought that i couldnt handle it but i was wrong!
Homesteading Mom in East Texas. Raising chickens, Rabbits and goats here on my farm! |
Edited by - homsteddinmom on Nov 04 2010 05:23:33 AM |
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monet100
Farmgirl at Heart
1 Posts
Kate
Louisville
TN
USA
1 Posts |
Posted - Nov 03 2010 : 1:01:51 PM
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Marilyn,
Your decision to home school doesn't have to be justified to anyone but yourself...and really, just your desire to do so is justification enough. We have four older children who went through traditional public schools with varying degrees of success. Luckily, they are now all functioning members of society, gainfully employed and pretty great adults in spite of public school chaos and tremendous peer pressure.
Then came the youngest child. From day one, we had problems with the county elementary school she was attending. By third grade, we'd finally had enough. It wasn't just one event that prompted us to pull her out of this school, but, to quote Lemony Snicket, "A Series of Unfortunate Events." We toyed with the idea of paying tuition and sending her into a city school, but eventually decided to bring her home figuring we couldn't mess her up anymore than a public school environment had the potential of doing.
We have not once regretted our decision to bring her home. And as for socialization, if this kid, now 12, was any more social, she'd need her own private secretary.
On another note, our oldest daughter, 27, is expecting triplets!!! We are at once excited and overwhelmed by the very idea of adding three children to our family in such an immediate fashion.
Good luck!
~kate
Nebraska girl transplanted to Tennessee. |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2010 : 05:29:46 AM
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| Your decision needs to be based on what you feel is best for your child and you know that best, not the school. My sister home schooled both of hers and we ended up moving our youngest out of the public school system to a charter school after a year of nothing but headache. He was beaten up on the playground, mistreated by a teacher, the class of nine yr olds totally out of control. the clinic called me everyday because he suffered stress related chest pain, headaches and stomach aches. And worst of all nobody in authority wanted to get out of their office and tackle the problems. He has been in the charter school since 4th grade, is now a freshman in high school and is doing marvelous ! The change when we moved him was nothing short of miraculous. |
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JoyIowa
True Blue Farmgirl
273 Posts
Joy
273 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2010 : 05:57:59 AM
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"As much time as her teacher has missed this year, I don't feel she's even taking this school year seriously, seems to me she should have taken all her 'workshops' over the summer recess - not during class time!"
As a teacher I think the general public is lacking in knowledge about events such as those mentioned here. The vast majority of workshops, classes, meetings, etc. that come up during the school year are NOT requested, desired, or even deemed necessary by teachers, but by legislation! It is a HUGE concern of mine that we are allowing legislation at all levels increasingly dictate what happens where and when in our classrooms. Most teachers see interruptions such as these exactly that: Interruptions to the flow of instruction. Please exercise caution when judging educators' MIA, it is probably not by their own chosing.
Thanks!
If it's not illegal, unsafe, or immoral, why not try anything once? Who knows? You may come back for a second helping! |
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child in harmony
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Marcia
Middleboro
MA
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Nov 04 2010 : 11:49:10 AM
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Do what feels right for your family...do what's in your heart.
Families who homeschool become even closer than they were, children have TIME to delve into many different areas of interest and pursue their passions and concentrate on things that have meaning for them...not told what to learn about and how long to spend learning it AND being cooped up in a building all day.
Children who live without school and have freedom and choice in their lives ( and not being told what to do every minute like school) become freethinkers and realize that learning IS joyful and lifelong, and they become confident and full of self-worth to go out and handle whatever may come their way in the future.
~marcia
www.harmonywoodsfarm.com
www.childinharmony.com
"Enriching,nurturing and inspiring Life with nature,animals
and the arts .. for the child and the child within" |
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bakermom
Farmgirl in Training
26 Posts
Linda
Garden Grove
CA
USA
26 Posts |
Posted - Nov 05 2010 : 9:05:00 PM
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I remember when I first heard of homeschooling. I was in the ladies room at church! Cathy Duffy, a writer and home school proponent (?) churched there as well and was talking to another woman about home schooling. I had a 4 year old and a new baby. I had never heard of this but from the minute I did, I know it was for me. I cant tell you why exactly, but I had a year of research and study to prepare me. Since then I have homeschooled, tried private and public school. The older 2 went to public high school. They survived alright, but had good heads on their shoulders and saw things for what they were. The manipulation, the lack of moral values, etc. They both think, though, that the youngest, also homeschooled and in 8th grade should not be put in public school, which has only gotten worse in the past few years. I heard, oddly enough, that there was an 800% rise in homeschooling this year in our state of CA. Up from around 600% the year before. Can that be right? I dont know, but if you find a good program, you will find it flexible enough to work around. I work from home part time, but hubby works from home too, so someone is usually home, and my son is older, so it is easier in many ways then your situation. Follow your gut instincts! You KNOW what is right for your child, it is just a matter of working out the details and "screw your courage to the sticking place".
Good luck
bakermom
sister#2064
www.lapetitekitchen.com
"that wine may cheer the hearts of man...that bread may strengthen mens hearts." psalm 104 |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2010 : 09:17:37 AM
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I am very close to pulling my daughter out of the school that I am sending her to. I went the Christian route to save some of the crap. She is being bullied there. I will let her finish the month as it is paid for, but I am going to finish the school year here and decide if I want to put her in another Christian school or just teach her myself. She is very bright. She is bored and I think I am wasting my money. It is costing me 310.00 a month.
Can someone help me. I am very upset and not sure what to do except to protect my daughter. I went to the district that over all schools in the area. Even the Christian ones. They are very supportive of homeschooling. Where do I start?
I am in Texas. I have the support of the local district. So I don't see any problems. But I won't put my daughter in harms way. I went to see the head of her school and she wasn't at the school. They told me she would be in sometime after 11:00. They weren' sure when. I am paying for this???
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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TJinMT
True Blue Farmgirl
211 Posts
TJ
Billings
MT
USA
211 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2010 : 09:35:17 AM
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How old is your daughter, what grade is she in? Have you googled "homeschooling in Houston"? I'm sure there must be co-operatives and coalitions all around there, which is just "homeschoolspeak" for saying, other parents like you, who have gone on to form groups and offer support. That would be my first step!!
~TJ of Green Willow Place
"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." -CS Lewis |
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homsteddinmom
True Blue Farmgirl
441 Posts
Brandee
bullard
tx
USA
441 Posts |
Posted - Nov 11 2010 : 05:58:44 AM
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Mrsrooster,
I sent you an email. Please check out www.connectionsacademy.com it is a homeschool/public school type things. You work at home but have teachers that you never meet or anything. They schedule work to do everyday and you are only required 20 hrs a week. Now this is based out of houston for the texas area. They provide computers and everything! WE are in east texas and we use it! I am homeschooling 2 kids this way. 5th and 7th grades!
Homesteading Mom in East Texas. Raising chickens, Rabbits and goats here on my farm! |
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wncmtnmama
Farmgirl in Training
25 Posts
Marilyn
Asheville
NC
25 Posts |
Posted - Nov 16 2010 : 10:21:52 AM
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Thank you everyone for your personal stories and insights. I have been doing a LOT of research on this and have discussed the curriculums I think are good with my husband. I have thoroughly researched the laws and statutes for my state (of NC) and don't think I would have any problem meeting their standards (she says, tongue-in-cheek). My daughter has asked many times if I would homeschool her, so I know she would welcome the change.
I don't feel any better after meeting and talking with her teacher, but she has been present in the classroom every day since our meeting, which is an improvement.
I will pray for guidance on this and thank you all for your inspiration. I don't post often here, but I gain so much from reading everyone else's posts. Without a doubt, everyone here is so supportive of each other and I am so thankful for y'all and appreciate the comfort, strength and personal experience you share so readily with the rest of us.
Marilyn |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 06:48:20 AM
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An update. We are happily homeschooling. I got the rest of her curriculm for the rest of the year from the school. She is much more relaxed and better behaved. It is amazing how much we do in a day. We do worksheets, read, play, watch movies, etc.
I think it is my aha moment. I wish I would have listened to myself and did it from the beginning. But that is that.
Bri is very bright and active and I think that this is a much better path for her.
We made and baked bread yesterday. It is really rewarding.
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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TJinMT
True Blue Farmgirl
211 Posts
TJ
Billings
MT
USA
211 Posts |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 07:16:47 AM
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Yay, Amy!!! That's super!! Bet you guys really enjoy this journey. Congratulations!!
~TJ of Green Willow Place
www.MyWesternHome.wordpress.com
"I wanna write my blog, and live my life, beneath these Western Skies..." (with apologies to Chris LeDoux! smile!) |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
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TJinMT
True Blue Farmgirl
211 Posts
TJ
Billings
MT
USA
211 Posts |
Posted - Nov 17 2010 : 11:32:25 AM
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Amy - same here!! Thanks!!
~TJ of Green Willow Place
www.MyWesternHome.wordpress.com
"I wanna write my blog, and live my life, beneath these Western Skies..." (with apologies to Chris LeDoux! smile!) |
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Singing Tree Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
196 Posts
Cari
Chase
Michigan
USA
196 Posts |
Posted - Nov 20 2010 : 6:16:54 PM
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I always wanted to homeschool but was afraid I would "mess up". When a charter school opened 45 minutes away, we took our children there. Long story short, my daughter was sooo frustrated by 4th grade she would come home and just cry. Trying to do her homework was a nightmare. She would cry and cry and not even try. I decided I couldn't do any worse, and pulled them out. I wasn't prepared for it, had not been able to research curriculum or anything. I went with the one my homeschooling friend used. It was all workbooks and advanced for the grade level. Not a good choice for what I was dealing with! Live and learn, right? (However,it was still better than the school experience and we were making progress).
Since then I have spent a lot of time researching and am totally impressed with the curriculms and information you can find. For any style of learning/teaching.
My moment of great joy can when I had to explain to my daughter-the one who would just cry and cry because she couldn't-that her eyes were hurting her because she was reading for hours on end. Oh, what joy!
I think it's huge to be able to instill a joy of learning anything imaginable instead of a dread of learning.
I don't work outside the home but when my husband was put on second shift I had a hard time with our schedule. I liked the way I was accustomed to, in the morning and have the afternoon/evening free. However, if we kept the morning routine, we were doing our schooling while my husband was outside working around the farm. Then we would be finished while he was gone, completely missing spending anytime with him or helping him. Now we usually do something (maybe math) in the morning while it's cold, and then put it aside and work together with my husband and come back to school work in the late afternoon or evening.
All of creation sings Your praise! |
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Family Matters: Homeschool/Defining Moment (s) |
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Homeschool/Defining Moment (s)
