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Family Matters:  understanding my son  |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
 Posted - Sep 07 2010 : 5:50:10 PM
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| My son is 22 yrs old, diagnosed with Crohns disease last year, left Case Western Reserve College and a big scholarship and transferred to Baldwin Wallace College, a smaller liberal arts school. I guess it isn't important where he goes to school as long as he finishes. He appears so unhappy most of the time, I worry about him constantly, He was diagnosed with depression but now refuses to take anything for it. He quit his medication cold and I understand not wanting to take medication but he had periods of withdrawal from us and everything else. He was very active in high school, playing tennis, two instruments, many academic achievements, he is scary smart....now he doesn't do any of it. Am I being too mom...should I just relax and let him figure life out for himself ? Am I making a big deal out of nothing ? I just want him to be happy |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2010 : 6:10:47 PM
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Patricia I would also me concerned. As mother's I believe that is just part of it. Has he done any research on Crohns? I use to work for a lady that had it. There were days that was really hard but also had many good days. Maybe he would consider a support group so he can see how to handle it better. Is he keeping his grades up at school? Sometimes we just have to take things upon ourselves if you see that the depression is getting bad. Have him ask the doctor or phone you nearest hospital and someone will know where there may be a group. If you attend a church I would check with them. Surely someone can help out. Please stay in touch, so we know how he,s doing and if there is anything we can help you with.
Hugs and Prayers, Brenda
"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are small matter compared to what lies within us."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Seek reasons to Love..In every sigment of everyday-look for something that brings forth within you a feeling of Love-Abraham Hicks |
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MaryLD
True Blue Farmgirl
861 Posts
Mary
New Braunfels
TX
USA
861 Posts |
Posted - Sep 07 2010 : 6:13:35 PM
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I am too tired to write anyhting decent- but I did go through a Crohn's - like illness, and it was VERY depressing and exhausting. It would be really hard on a young, athletic person. I do not have any answers right now- but keep an eye on your son , he needs you.
Mary LD
Haflingers- You can't have just one!
( I'm just one short of a drill team!) |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Sep 08 2010 : 08:06:35 AM
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| We did have him go to a counselor for awhile then she released him, he has done some research and I asked his dad to speak to him, my husband also has crohns, genetic factors as well as stress brought it out, he is a solitary person partly due to being intellectually gifted but I get scared some days. I think he would like to not be living at home but with his health and finishing college that is the way it has to be for right now. I just need some different perspective and thank you for the support and suggestions :) |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2010 : 4:22:34 PM
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| he seems calmer, not any more talkative but calmer. we think he is seeing a girl from school maybe that is helping ! |
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ddmashayekhi
True Blue Farmgirl
4737 Posts
Dawn
Naperville
Illinois
USA
4737 Posts |
Posted - Oct 03 2010 : 6:29:03 PM
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You are both in my prayers. Has your son tried taking vitamin B three times a day for his depression? It has no side effects and flushes naturally out of his system. Best of luck to you both.
Dawn in IL |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2010 : 08:01:28 AM
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i want first to say i am one always to have an opinion. so you must always read my love in between the lines, crohns is an opportunistic illness. it lives where opportunity allows it. it is an auto immune dysfunction. which actually means it lives where it can. as with livestock ... we change their environment and food intake. by doing this we change the environment of the body the host if you will dies. wrong environment dead host. so with crohns.. my opinion is. get him healthy... stop smoking if he does. if not wonderful. i would guess that this for him this new school will be less stress. i have a friend here her son has crohns. they are eating a real food diet. he had to have a lump the size of a grapefruit removed. he is 22 yrs. he believes my raw cow milk that is A2 from a jersey is helping him. raw milk has thousands of live healthy bacteria and enzymes good for the gut. raw butter cheese good eggs whole foods. so he is a pro-active crohns kid. he is looking really good. maybe the 2 of them could meet on facebook.
My second thought is the web sites say environment. may i suggest gently you remove all perfume fragrance from your home. cleaners and chemicals require the body to have to always be in defend mode. a little here a little there and soon you have a chemical soup a sick body is trying to cope. our home needs to be a safe haven for ourselves to heal. there is a book called IS THIS YOUR CHILD by DORIS RAPP she is a m.d. she has spoke before clinton and bush in the white house. it is now in paperback. i beg you read the book over. i would send you the book if you need me to. these are things you can do to help your son. chemicals in the home will enable his depression to be bigger. it is a neurotransmitter misfire in the brain. these are things YOU can help control. You can make these changes without him having to do too much at first. i say YOU since we can only do what we can do. so by having things you can actually do for him real food safe, environment information on how to build his immune system without pills how to live a great farmgirl life where ever you live. if i can help you in any way i want to. i hope this is not too much for me to share. i only want the best for you and him. in the past i have helped dr.s with their patients change their lifestyle to aid the immune system. so know this comes from love and a true concern for your sons life. the young man i speak of is doing really good right now. sincerely sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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Cherime
True Blue Farmgirl
1222 Posts
Cherime
Wasilla
Alaska
USA
1222 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2010 : 3:19:11 PM
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I understand that in Germany they prescribe St. John's Wort for depression. The only side effect is that for some people being in the sun a lot can turn their skin yellowish.
CMF |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Oct 05 2010 : 3:26:49 PM
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yes it can help. i have red that also. i just saw a documentary on sleep. it said they have found in 2009 that if a human gets too much rem sleep it can cause depression. in rem the area of the brain activated at one point is a area that carries sadness. when overrun at night in rem it can dominate the brain in awake times. too much stimulus to the area in the brain. just another analytical thought from an analytical farmgirl. again take my thoughts with as a grain of salt. use what you can and throw the rest out.lol happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Oct 11 2010 : 5:15:03 PM
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Sherry,
I thank you for all your input, I am very concerned over him, not just the crohn's but the withdrawal and depression. He will not talk to me and today I encouraged him to call his counselor or doctor if he needed to talk. I would love to read the book you suggested and will take your recommendations to heart. I feel so helpless at times, he is 22 yrs old and a man and not mama's boy anymore but that mom response still kicks in. I will also try and see if he would take something like St John Wort, what about Sam-e does anyone know anything about that for depression ? |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Oct 12 2010 : 07:42:18 AM
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good morning to you. i was worried i might have over spoken. i can do that. i am not good with herbs. some one else will need to comment there. i spoke to my friend she said she would be glad to talk with you on the phone. she is a great person. her son is a little younger. i know when my boys (4) were 22 they knew everything. it does make it hard sometimes to talk with them. the love in your heart and your words is big. i know he knows you love him. your concern is mommy motivated for sure. i have a son who is 44 and he is still my little boy. if i can do anything for you please just ask. sending love and hugs your way. send me your address and i will send you the book. sincerely sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Oct 14 2010 : 03:51:33 AM
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Sherrye, it is fine, I welcome any suggestions to help me I have also sent you an email
thanks again |
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rschaaf
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Renee
Wooster
Ohio
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2010 : 07:22:15 AM
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I don't have Crohn's, but was diagnoses with Hypothyroidism in my early 20's. The thought that I had a condition that would be with me the rest of my life and affect so much of my body by being out of balance, really hit me hard. I knew it wasn't life threatening or anything, but the fact that I would be on meds the rest of my life really bothered me and and I kind of grieved awhile. I can relate to the depression. Meeting my now-husband, brought me out of my slump. Maybe if he did meet a girl and switched schools, that will help. Keep us posted.
"There is beauty, there is grace, in my peaceful country place!"
See what I'm up to at: http://www.lifeonctfarm.blogspot.com |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2010 : 4:55:40 PM
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| thanks, Renee, hey finally someone else from Ohio ! I see that he is still rebelling against taking medication, he will let his prescription run out and when I refill it won't pick it up fo rdays than gets angry if I remind him. I think a girl and some college fun would be just the ticket. I worry though and then today we found out that a young man with our high school marching band (where I work) committed suicide over the weekend. he was only 15 years old it's been a rough day |
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rschaaf
True Blue Farmgirl
174 Posts
Renee
Wooster
Ohio
USA
174 Posts |
Posted - Oct 18 2010 : 8:24:15 PM
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Patricia,
I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. If you ever want to chat one-on-one, just send me an e-mail.
"There is beauty, there is grace, in my peaceful country place!"
See what I'm up to at: http://www.lifeonctfarm.blogspot.com |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Oct 19 2010 : 09:36:38 AM
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| thanks for the offer !! |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Oct 26 2010 : 07:09:34 AM
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| found out he went to the doctor and to a therapist about a month ago he just never told any of us. It's good that he went, I just don't understand the total lack of communication |
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coffeemom
True Blue Farmgirl
160 Posts
Melody
Carlinville
IL
USA
160 Posts |
Posted - Nov 08 2010 : 7:32:42 PM
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The lack of communication is his age. I have 2 sons near that age, and although we have a good relationship, there are just some things they don't tell me. Many times they don't see the importance of "sharing" it.
I had Crohn's Disease. I struggled with it for 25 years. I found out I had it in my mid twenty's. I spent years going to doctors, years on high doses of prednisone, and finally, surgery. They removed 12 inches of my small intestine and the first 4 inches of my large intestine, where the two connect. I prayed for many years for healing, and others as well were praying for me. I finally resigned myself to living with it for the rest of my life. I know that sometimes we are not healed. But one old man at church kept telling me that God was going to heal me. 2 years ago, I was rushed to the hospital with a small bowel obstruction and I had emergency surgery. When the surgeon came in to see me the next day, she said she had a Crohn's specialist "walk" my bowel. That is where the doctor checks every square inch. She said, "You don't have Crohn's Disease." The tears began to flow and all I could say was, "Thank you, Jesus." This does not happen to everyone, but it does happen. Keep on praying.
Love to you.
Melody |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Nov 09 2010 : 3:49:16 PM
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| his father has Crohns also, today when cleaning I found he is back on his prescription, have noticed a change in mood, talking a bit, being out with the family, laughing with his sister even saying goodby when he leaves is a big difference. today when he left for work he yelled bye, I was shocked and thrilled |
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Nov 10 2010 : 06:15:42 AM
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oh patricia
that is so good to hear. i bet you feel relief. i spoke with the mom of the boy i know. her name is tammi. she said i could give you her number. you have a lot in common.the boys are about the same age too. let me know. happy days sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farm girl #1014
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Nov 15 2010 : 05:13:14 AM
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Thanks Sherry,
he seems better, I hope he keeps going to counseling and taking his meds until he figures things out. I appreciate the offer |
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Leilaht
True Blue Farmgirl
155 Posts
Elizabeth
Highland
MI
USA
155 Posts |
Posted - Nov 27 2010 : 12:19:03 PM
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Patrica, has your son been checked for celiac disease too? It is also an autoimmune disorder and sometimes they come together. Gluten is difficult for humans to digest and can cause depression and make the Crohn's worse. Try reading the Maker's Diet too. The author had Crohn's to the point of almost dying. Sherrye is right. Diet and environment have everything to do with our health. Try herbalhealer.com for some answers too. Marijah McCain has been a naturopath for a long time. I get things for my family there (including our old dog). Hope he improves.
Liz
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Proverbs 31:25 |
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pnickols
True Blue Farmgirl
808 Posts
Patricia
Parma
Ohio
808 Posts |
Posted - Dec 01 2010 : 04:57:27 AM
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Liz,
yes and it is a negative. I have a good friend who was seriously ill for a while until she was diagnosed with celiac disease. she has given me some pointers on eating too. thanks and I think I will try the website you mentioned. knowledge is power right ? |
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Family Matters: understanding my son |
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understanding my son
