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Parenting & Farm Kids:  How to be a stay at home Mom  |
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CynthiaT.
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Cynthia
Alpena
Arkansas
USA
55 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 16 2010 : 11:44:22 AM
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Does anyone have any good ideas how to be a stay at home mom? I've always either worked, worked and went to school, or had my business. I've never been a stay at home mom exclusively. How do you deal with being bored? Not having another adult to talk with all day? Stress with always being with your kids?
I would love to hear how other moms do it. My children are 4 years old (boy) and two and a half years old (girl).
Thanks!
Cynthia
Farmgirl sister # 852 |
Edited by - CynthiaT. on Apr 16 2010 11:44:52 AM |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2010 : 2:04:52 PM
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I have been a stay at home mom for a few years now. I homeschool, garden, and learn every craft I can. I am currently learning to sew. You can find lots of things to keep you busy if you rethink 'busy'. I used to think it was going into town and such. Now I can't seem to find time for town and all my different projects I'm working on. I love it. I will say it took me about 6 months or so to get the swing of things. If you like to read or do bible studies I will say that you'll need to make a schedule and try to stick to it. Once you start learning your new life all that extra time will disappear. As far as adult conversation, I enjoy chat sites like this one and I love email. It allows for a back and forth conversation that fits into a very busy day and phone numbers can be used for immediate situations. You can always email me if you need to talk. I can wash dishes, feed the baby, and talk on the cell phone all at the same time now! Gotta love motherhood! :)
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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MrsRooster
True Blue Farmgirl
1168 Posts
Amy
Seabrook
TX
USA
1168 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2010 : 2:16:24 PM
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I love love love being a stay at home Mom. I don't often get bored. I write pen pals, or go on this site. I do chores and needlework.
I left the corporate rat race when I was pregnant with Bri. I don't miss it a bit.
You will learn to love it. It just takes some getting use to. Nap time use to be letter heaven for me. I would put Bri down to nap and put on my tea water and read pen pal letters.
Email me or visit my blog. We'll keep you from getting bored!!
www.mrsrooster.blogspot.com
Farmgirl #1259
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beadbabe
True Blue Farmgirl
148 Posts
Therese
Valencia
California
USA
148 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2010 : 3:01:11 PM
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For me, I found that having a routine really hepled. I picked a day to do my major grocery shopping, another for laundry, and would have my DD help as much as she was able and interested. I had to learn to allow my day to be slower, as she moved slower when helping!
We didn't have a computer, so I didn't have the ability to check out what resources were available to us, so I relied on our local library and other moms for ideas. See what activities and groups are in your area!
I let my DD know early on that everybody needs some 'quiet time' and I would encourage her to entertain herself in her room with her toys or books, and I would have time alone in my sewing room. (that one took a while to sink in, but with gentle coaxing, and supplying interesting books for her, it caught on. To this day, we respect each other's need to be seperate for a while.) If you have a hobby, make sure your kids know you need some time for it. Hire a teenager, a 'mother's helper' to come entertain them for an hour or two while you are at home so you can do what you want to with out being interrupted (much!)
I understand not having another adult to talk to. My poor husband!! I'd bombard him the minute he got home! I had to learn to be selective in what I told him, and how and when! I'd talk to myself, and feel crazy sometimes, but just hearing a rational (Sometimes not, lol!) voice, made me feel better. I had a few friends I could call that would totally understand if I needed to hang up quickly and wouldn't take offense.
Perhaps the one thing that helped me the most was knowing that there would come the days when she no longer wanted to snuggle with me, no longer would run up to me to show me something, excitement and wonder in her eyes. I had to allow myself to let her be as alive as she was, even when her energy level exceeded mine. It took a couple of years to really be able to do that. That's when the fun really began for all of us. I think having children is such a gift, and to be able to see the world through their eyes...priceless.
I always wanted to be an at home mom. there were days that I wanted to trade it in for a 9 to 5 job, but I am glad I didn't. You have a tremendous resource here, on these forums. I am sure you will get a lot of great advice and ideas. Hang in there! What you are doing is one of the most valuable jobs in the world!
~hugs~
Therese
Farmgirl Sister #1217
If you ask me what I came into this world to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud. ~Emile Zola |
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Faransgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
895 Posts
Beth
Houston
Texas
USA
895 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2010 : 6:25:04 PM
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I was a stay at home Mom from the time my first was born until this day. They are all in college now. I got involved with the committee that ran the local playgroup and the local Mom's and toddlers groups. I also took craft, exercise and sewing classes (which I ended up teaching) at the local schoolhouse. I did alot of sewing and crafts and fund raisers for the schoolhouse, playgroup and Mom's and toddlers group. By doing that I met new people, I had adult conversation, my kids had friends etc.
After they got older I got involved being a volunteer at the school, (I didn't homeschool but I kept involved so I knew what was happening at the various schools) and I got involved in Girl Scouts. All my kids are girls. I didn't want to do the troop things so we got involved as non-troop scouts and did the interest programs which my girls finally settled on the Equine (horse) program. We stayed involved in that until they left for college. I now own my own horses and spend time trail riding etc with other ladies with horses. It was a wonderful life, I am close to my kids, none of them have ever been in any trouble like drugs, teen pregnancy, dropping out of school, or the like. One has graduated from Art School, One will graduate in May with a BA in Philosophy and has already started her Master's Degree in Information and Library Science and the other will Graduate with a Major in Business and a minor in Dance next May.
I was never bored, I was never lonely and I learned so much. I highly recommend being a stay at home Mom if you can at all do it.
Farmgirl Sister 572
When manure happens just say "WOO HOO Fertilizer". |
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barefootmama
True Blue Farmgirl
133 Posts
Jennifer
BLOOMSBURG
Pennsylvania
USA
133 Posts |
Posted - Apr 16 2010 : 9:51:10 PM
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how exciting to have such an opportunity to do that..I know how you feel about the what to do thing..I was home for a little while last summer and my kids did drive me a little nuts lol..but we managed. I dream of being able to do my own thing at home but would def have to work atleast part time here and there to keep sane and be around grown ups lol.Not that my hubby isnt one haha its just nice to chat with others..some day I will be able to do it and Im looking forward to it..Best of luck to you and enjoy the time you have..I spent alot of time at the library w my 2 kids and also found little crafts for us to do together hope that helps :)
Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves,for they shall never cease to be amused:) |
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CynthiaT.
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Cynthia
Alpena
Arkansas
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2010 : 07:07:41 AM
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Thank you for all of the great advice. The good thing is that I have always been with my kids since they were born. They've never really been in day care (except for aa few months when I first started my business almost two years ago.)
I am not creative enough to think up crafts. Although, I love doing them. That is why I started doing my embroidery business.
As far as going to a lot of groups goes, that's not really feasible since I am about 10 to 15 miles from the nearest town that really offers anything. And since gass prices continue to stay above $3.00 a gallon, I'm not going to travel much.
I just really need to find a way to be content and not be so controlling. I need to learn to let my babies learn on their own and not hover. But it's so hard. I never thought that I'd ever be a mom. We adopted our son at birth about four and a half years ago. and when he was 13 months old I found out that I was pregnant with our daughter. When she was born, I had been trying to have a baby for almost 17 years! So It's been a little hard to let go of the apron strings. I have two miracle babies and I want them to have the best life possible.
I think that once we finish building our house the day to day stuff will fall in. We included a huge room upstairs for our craft/schoolroom/office Tor spare bedroom.) So We should have the room to spread out and have fun.
Does anyone have any good age appropriate craft ideas !opefully with instructions)?
Ok enough rambling. I'm off to figure out what to make for breakfast.
Thanks again for your thoughts and ideas.
Cynthia
Farmgirl sister # 852 |
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CynthiaT.
True Blue Farmgirl
55 Posts
Cynthia
Alpena
Arkansas
USA
55 Posts |
Posted - Apr 17 2010 : 07:19:17 AM
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P.S. Sorry for all the typos. I'm sending these via my Blackberry cell phone.
Farmgirl sister # 852 |
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dreamingofafarm
True Blue Farmgirl
157 Posts
Tina
Bangor
Pennsylvania
157 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2010 : 09:33:46 AM
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It was so wonderful when I read this topic this morning. Cynthia I understand how you feel - I am having one of those mornings where I can't take being stuck inside with the kids and dog anymore this week. I am hoping for just one hour to go out alone and do something not housework or chore related! Of course, my husband went to the gym, so we'll see how that goes. My schedule is partial work, partial stay at home (I work at an office while the kids are in school and then leave to pick them up). In some respects I would prefer it to be one way or another because I feel I could better manage than bouncing back and forth between work and family through out the day (I still need to be accessible to my job by e-mail and phone even when I am home and often have to work at home at night after everyone is in bed just to keep up with what I need at the office). We are considering having me stay home full time - a lucky position to be in I know - but I'm having trouble letting go of the thought of keeping my career. Not sure what I'll decide to do, it's just nice to talk to other people dealing with the stay at home life balancing act too!
Farmgirl Sisterhood #1355
"It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones afterall." - Laura Ingalls Wilder |
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msdoolittle
True Blue Farmgirl
1143 Posts
Amanda
East Texas
USA
1143 Posts |
Posted - Apr 18 2010 : 6:28:38 PM
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Hi Cynthia,
I'm a SAHM mostly, lol, I do work for my DH 2 days a week, so I don't really call it 'work' even though I do get a paycheck! BUT I did stay at home exclusively for the first couple of years of my youngest daughter's life, and it was great. I was never bored! I can promise you that, lol. I garden, craft, email, and cook. And, I also like to read...but admittedly it is hard to make myself sit still long enough.
As far as crafts, I have a 6 and 4 year old, and I went out and bought them safety scissors, glitter, glue, paper, feathers, googly eyes, and pompoms and just let them go at it! I do not hover, though I do make sure they don't knock a whole bottle of glue on the floor. THey also love to paint, though that is rare since they make a terrible mess with it. Oh well, it keeps it 'special', right?
I am DEFINITELY not a hover mama, I open my doors and they are allowed outside play as much as they want. Of course, there are rules and limitations and boundaries they are NOT allowed to cross, but they love it and I love it that I can garden and not have someone hanging on my skirt all day. Of course, it's different with a 2 year old, but I also babysit a girl who is almost 2 and I just keep her in my fence and give her a little plastic shovel and a bucket or a ride-on toy and she is good to go :0) and I just garden away.
Some days I still want to pull my hair out, especially when they are arguing, but I keep telling myself that they won't be little forever, so I may as well enjoy it for today.
FarmGirl #1390
www.mylittlecountry.wordpress.com |
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Parenting & Farm Kids: How to be a stay at home Mom |
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How to be a stay at home Mom
