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Across the Fence:  I owe you an apology  |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
 Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 12:48:56 PM
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It has come to my attention that I have possibly offended some of you. I was told that my posts have been selfish and that I speak to much of my husband who passed away a little over a year ago. It has cause some to feel put off by me and makes them not want to respond to posts I leave.
Please know that this has not at all been my intent. I only want to be encouraging and helpful, so if I have offended you, if you would send me an email, I would like to give a personal apology to you.
I am sorry for any negative, selfish or unproductive comments I have made. I have been on the forum since 2005 or so, and love it here. I have learned so much from you all, and want to be a help not a hinderance.
So, again, with all my heart, I am sorry to anyone I have offended, and pushed away, it truly was unintentional. 
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/
http://www.iglitteredthecat.blogspot.com/
http://www.glitterandgrunge.com/ (turner hill studio)
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TurnerHillStudio/ |
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dutchy
True Blue Farmgirl
4427 Posts
4427 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 12:58:09 PM
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Oh Julia. As far as I know nothing that you said hurt anyone. Keep posting and replying. Love ya girl :)
Hugs from Marian/Dutchy, a farmgirl from the Netherlands :)
My personal blog:
http://just-me-a-dutch-girl.blogspot.com/
Almost daily updates on me and mine :)
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Annika
True Blue Farmgirl
5602 Posts
Annika
USA
5602 Posts |
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natesgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
1735 Posts
angela
martinsville
indiana
USA
1735 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 1:12:44 PM
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I thought that's what friends are for! To listen to you no matter what it is you need to talk about. I love to read posts about people who were in love, are in love, or are looking for love. I am constantly told that I talk about my DH too much. I say pooh on them! It's just jealousy on their part! If you need to talk about your DH feel free to email me anytime and make it as long as you'd like. Write me a book if you'd like. I love reading that kind of stuff. I am here for you.
God - Gardening - Family - Is anything else important? |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3320 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3320 Posts |
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FebruaryViolet
True Blue Farmgirl
4810 Posts
Jonni
Elsmere
Kentucky
USA
4810 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 1:27:15 PM
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I don't understand? Gosh, I can't think of one instance in which you've offended me. But then, I'm not easily offended :) But seriously, this isn't a place of judgment, or at least, it isn't supposed to be.
Musings from our family in the Bluegrass http://sweetvioletmae.blogspot.com/ |
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melanie47601
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Melanie
Boonville
IN
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 1:38:56 PM
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Amen to what Angela said and the other ladies too. No apology necessary. You haven't done anything wrong. Even though I am not married I do realize what a significant role a spouse plays in a life. I have always kind of thought of marriage as the intemingling of two lives to become one. Maybe I am a bit of a romantic. It has been almost 6 years since my mom lost her husband. I know to her it still feels like it just happened yesterday. To lose someone so close to you, can be so difficult and painful to face alone. You should always be able to go to your friends, even if it's simply to reminesce. I'm hear anytime you need to talk. :)
Hugs~ Melanie
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says "Oh Crap, She's up!"
Blog~ http://wheelsarealwaysturning.blogspot.com/
Swap Blog~ http://mels-swapshop.blogspot.com/ |
Edited by - melanie47601 on Apr 09 2010 1:40:01 PM |
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Sheep Mom 2
True Blue Farmgirl
1534 Posts
Sheri
Elk
WA
USA
1534 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 1:41:30 PM
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Being a widow myself, I know what you have been going through. I have never felt offended by anything you have said. I don't know who was, but I feel this is the best part of being a part of this group. Please feel free to speak your heart. We are all in this together.
Blessings, Sheri
"Work is Love made visible" -Kahlil Gibran |
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grace gerber
True Blue Farmgirl
2804 Posts
grace
larkspur
colorado
USA
2804 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 2:13:59 PM
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Oh Julia - I agree with the ladies - I am a widow also, going on 14 years now and somedays it feels as if it just moments since his passing and then other days it is all healed. I think that too many folks walk around just waiting to be offended by the slightest of things. We can not agree with everyone all the time but I find that way too many folks walk thru life with a big chip on their shoulder just waiting for someone to just look in their direction.
Life is way too short to walk on egg shells - live life to the best of your ability. Living well is the best revenge.
Grace Gerber
Larkspur Funny Farm and Fiber Art Studio
Where the spirits are high and the fiber is deep
http://www.larkspurfunnyfarm.etsy.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.blogspot.com
http://larkspurfunnyfarm.artfire.com
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 2:24:19 PM
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I don't understand this at all Julia. I have always enjoyed all your posts. To be honest I love to hear the stories of other women and their husbands and families. Good things or problems, either way I think it gives us happiness for someone else and empathy for those who have lost someone they love. It touches me to hear about how much any of us love our spouses or our children,parents etc, whether they are still with us or not. I have lost a lot of people myself, it hurts and you miss them. I know when I get the chance to mention my daughter Karin's life and the joy she brought us I do it. Please know that anytime you want to share anything I will be glad to listen. I just cannot imagine who would say this you.
Hugs MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Julia
True Blue Farmgirl
1949 Posts
Julia
Shelton
WA
USA
1949 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 3:04:07 PM
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This is why I love MJF forum! You girls are very kind, and I thank you. I was a bit taken a back by what was said, but I wanted to make sure all the air was clear. Having to walk on egg shells with my words, isn't something I need to have to deal with right now, got enough on my plate.
I am truly grateful for this place to be able to come to share, vent and cry with others who have gone through the same things, so again, thank you.
Yes, I miss my hubby terribly, lately it has felt as though it was yesterday. Going through the grieving process with its constant emotions, ever changing, often revisiting emotions, sure takes its toll. But I don't want to be a pathic, overly weepy, draining widow, which was my fear with the comment made, and why the apology. I am glad at least for you girls, you hear my heart, and I love you for it!!!
For tomorrow and its needs I do not pray, but keep me, guide me, love me, Lord just for today.
St. Augustine
#440
http://www.myfeetaredirty.blogspot.com/
http://www.iglitteredthecat.blogspot.com/
http://www.glitterandgrunge.com/ (turner hill studio)
http://www.etsy.com/shop/TurnerHillStudio/ |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 3:28:03 PM
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The grieving process is different for everyone. Its not an easy path, for sure. I dont know what was said, or what you said that may have offended anyone, but you dont need to apologize to me for anything.
Prayers sent and hugs offered. |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 3:31:34 PM
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Who ever said those hurtful things to you does not, nor ever did have a true love, let alone lost one. I have posted MANY stories on here about my late Hubby, some romantic, some sad and some funnier than hell. Anyone that is that crass and cold, DOES NOT deserve your time. I, for one welcome stories like yours, it does my soul good to here them, knowing that there were many good men out there, for their good women. Never apoligize for that, not ever!!!
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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Twinsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
116 Posts
Debbie
Wyoming
USA
116 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 4:47:56 PM
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Julia,
I am so sorry someone said that to you. I have been on here a short time and have found everyone to be so wonderful and not judgemental. I think that is part of what these forums are for, to share your thoughts and feelings.
I say post away about your late husband. It is great to hear about a wonderful marriage. I am sorry you are going through this.
Please be kind to yourself.
Twinsmom
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Annab
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Anna
Seagrove
NC
USA
2900 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 5:10:58 PM
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The loss of your spouse and best friend is something that you will never forget. it's tragic, sad and indeed lonesome
I know of a lady who some years ago even at the age of 80 had lost her spouse 20 years earlier and would still tear up sometimes in conversation. Very touching. Especially when divorce rates are the norm these days and too easy to be done.
As others said, the grieving porcess is different for us all, so for others to be insensitive IS insensitive and kind of crappy.
But in the words of this same now 89 year old. She does wish that she had dated though. Just prior to her starting to slip mentally, she was so giddy and happy with her new beau I believe this helped her to stay "with it" just a tad bit longer
So here's a hug from NC. And while I still (by the grace of God) have my hubby, I feel very sorry for your loss
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sherrye
True Blue Farmgirl
3775 Posts
sherry
bend in the high desert
oregon
USA
3775 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 5:28:58 PM
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oh my,, i am sad for you. i have never felt anything but goodness. we are all friends. the posts above say it all. like with my sister i can be a brat and she still loves me. same here. not that you were ever a brat.. like i said you are farmgirl sister we love ya just the way you are at any moment in time.just a loving thought to you sherrye
the learn as we go silk purse farm
farmgirl #1014
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graciegreeneyes
True Blue Farmgirl
3107 Posts
Amy Grace
Rosalia
WA
USA
3107 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 6:41:34 PM
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I certainly haven't ever felt offended by you Julia.
I'm sorry you were made to feel as though you had....
Farmgirl #224
"use it up, wear it out, make it do, or do without"
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lisamarie508
True Blue Farmgirl
2648 Posts
Lisa
Idaho City
ID
USA
2648 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 6:50:31 PM
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Well, I haven't been saying much here lately, but I can't let this one go. That is very sad to think that someone who calls herself a farmgirl, a friend, a sister would make such a mean and hurtful statement. That person, by no means, represents the majority here, Julia, and I am offended that someone would purposely hurt you or anyone here in such a manner. How RUDE! We are here for you just like we are meant to be.
Farmgirl Sister #35
"If you can not do great things, do small things in a great way." Napoleon Hill (1883-1970)
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kristin sherrill
True Blue Farmgirl
11303 Posts
kristin
chickamauga
ga
USA
11303 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 7:12:27 PM
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Julia, I have told you before how much your writing means to me. I hope you never stop talking about your husband. I love hearing your stories. All you ladies who are widows have so much to tell and I hope you never stop.
Hugs, Kris
Happiness is simple. |
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maggie14
True Blue Farmgirl
6784 Posts
Hannah
Washington
USA
6784 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 7:22:35 PM
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Julia, I have never read a post of yours that was selfish or rude! Your post always seem so cheerful and are wonderful to read! I think you have a very good right to talk about your husband who passed away. I don't know who would say something like that. I say keep on doing what you are doing farmgirl! We all love you!!
Hugs,
Channah
Farmgirl sister #1219
Friendship is not something that can be bought, it is earned. |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 8:33:30 PM
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Julia:
Please, do not apologize to me. Please! I have loved reading your post concerning your husband. I just love reading Teresa's posts about her late husband. I find such love in both or your words. Julia, I give you permission to email me personally. I'd love to hear more about your life with your late husband. What a selfish, senseless, incredibly stupid thing to tell you. You are a better person, for at least sharing your sadness with us. You go Julia! I'm as mad as a wild woman right now. I will continue to look for your postings concerning your husband. Take care. I will keep you in my prayers.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Chives
True Blue Farmgirl
232 Posts
Victoria
Shelton
Washington
USA
232 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 8:41:50 PM
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| Julia, never stop talking about your husband. He will always be a part of your life no matter what. Some people go through thier whole life and have never really found a true love. Be happy that you did and we get to hear about it. We all love you. Vicki sister 280 |
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cheneygal
True Blue Farmgirl
503 Posts
Suzie
Cheney
Wa.
USA
503 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 8:53:39 PM
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I can't let this go either....I've never read anything from you that was offensive, nor have you talked too much about your late DH. I am a widow of just 5 short mos. (here I GO!!), and I enjoy and treasure your stories about your late DH, as I do Teresa's, it's obvious you were all each others soul mates, as were my dh and I. I have felt like I could share a little here and there about my dh, and I think that's just one of the reasons we are all here, Farmgirls, sisters, friends, and that's just what we do, listen to one another when the other one needs it most. Personally, I find it much easier to let it all out here, than to some of my friends. Let your light shine, and if you offended anyone, then they are not "true farmgirls" at heart.
live, laugh, love |
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Roxy7
True Blue Farmgirl
1083 Posts
Robin
Denver
CO
USA
1083 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 8:56:34 PM
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| I come here for the positive support and friendship. I feel like the folks here are my extended neighbors. The folks I wished lived next door. |
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Bear5
True Blue Farmgirl
13055 Posts
Louisiana/Texas
USA
13055 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 8:59:09 PM
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I am so elated reading the support here for Julia.
Marly
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up- that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had." Elisabeth Kurler-Ross |
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Alee
True Blue Farmgirl
22941 Posts
Alee
Worland
Wy
USA
22941 Posts |
Posted - Apr 09 2010 : 9:05:42 PM
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Julia, and all of us- I hope we all feel free to tell our stories and find love and comfort in each other's arms (and posts!)
I too love the stories about your husband- and also the stories that you tell about finding your way because it gives me hope that should a disaster befall I hope that I too would find the love, grace, and courage that you show in moving forward. Also, not all your posts are about you husband- just the right amount are! By that I mean- as much as you need to talk- we are hear to listen.
I think that is one of the thinks I love most about the internet. If I don't feel like "listening" I can always read a different thread or read a different website or even shut the computer off completely! But I love the little stories- the many varied comments, the little tidbits that we share.
I wish I could be there, friend Julia, to give you a hug and tell you again what a sweet and wonderful friend you are.
Alee
Farmgirl Sister #8
www.awarmheart.com
www.farmgirlalee.blogspot.com
www.allergyjourneys.blogspot.com
Put your pin on the farmgirl map! www.farmgirlmap.blogspot.com |
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Across the Fence: I owe you an apology |
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I owe you an apology
