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Across the Fence:  Have you ever experienced . . .  |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
 Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 08:41:18 AM
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folks making fun of everything you do when invited to your home?? 
I had invited some folks for a fun farmgirl dinner. Everything is made from scratch and the table was set with a tablecloth, cloth napkins, candles . . . you get the picture. Well, as dinner went on and everyone was complimenting the meal, someone asked what brand is "xyz" With a smile, I replied that I had made the whole meal from scratch, using my own homegrown veggies, herbs, etc.
Well, everyone laughed and started joking about the fact that I crinkle cut my own carrots. . to much work they said, why not just buy them pre-cut in the frozen food isle?? Well, now you all get the idea of how the rest of the evening went. . . right down to the moment when one of the kids found my sock darner in my mending basket.
When asked what it was, I explained and to be honest, that was the moment when everyone erupted in laughter at the thought that someone still darned their socks!
Geeze, what a night. I politely smiled through it all but my heart was aching to think that they did not appreciate a true farmgirl's hospitality. So, I was wondering if this has ever happened to you??
Joanna #566
JojoNH
www.CountryCents.com
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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sewsweet
True Blue Farmgirl
172 Posts
Carol
Canada
172 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 08:53:57 AM
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Hi Joanna,
Boy, they weren't very gracious guests, were they? I've had similar things from people who are of the belief that mass-produced, and factory-made are superior to homemade. Thankfully, most people I know really appreciate homemade and look at it as if it is an art (which it is). It does burn my butt when people make comments that their time is more valuable than to waste it making meals, and creating homecrafts. (Thus implying my time, because I do, is worthless) But, keep in mind that the people who say things like that are usually insecure, with very little concept of self and are afraid of what others think of them. Every act of creation is an act of bravery. That's a fact. Every time you make a dish, or sew an apron, you are expressing yourself. Some people are afraid to put themselves out there. You can't be criticized if you do nothing. So, it's really a shame they did not see all of the effort you put it. Good on you for being polite through all of this. You certainly took the high road. |
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Betty J.
True Blue Farmgirl
1403 Posts
Betty
Pasco
WA
USA
1403 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 09:04:38 AM
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Yeah, and had any of those jokesters ever tasted the crinkle cut frozen carrots? Like eating Pink Pearl Erasers!
I'm on your side JoJo.
Betty in Pasco |
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1badmamawolf
True Blue Farmgirl
2199 Posts
Teresa
"Bent Fence Farms"
Ca
USA
2199 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 09:17:41 AM
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Thank God I don't know people like that, cause if I did, they would be leaving before they had finished dinner, and NEVER be invited back, what a bunch of pompous idiots!
"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children" |
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RaspberryBee
True Blue Farmgirl
291 Posts
Karen
Montrose
Michigan
USA
291 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 09:18:11 AM
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Well, to say I know your pain would be wrong. I have never had a dinner like yours but my family and friends have NEVER "gotten" me. I have always danced my own dance - thankfully. Every now and then I try to join in so I can be like everybody else...I am miserable.
I decided that I am my own person, I like to live in an old, old house, grow my own veggies, sew, dry herbs and can tomatoes/applesauce. I do not want to eat things that will make me sick. I try and tell others but they smile and think I am a little touched. It hurts but that is okay. I live my life the way I want and I am happy with that. If no one wants to listen to me about gardening, cooking, healh issues and the such it is their loss and I feel sorry for them. If they want to think I am a little nutsy that is their choice. Maybe one day they will wake up and rememember something I mentioned and think maybe I am not so nutsy after all.
You have to know that by reading/posting here there are lots of ladies that think the way you do, do things the way you do and will not ever laugh at your darning socks. The ladies here will only ever laugh with you when the darn does not hold or your rosemary seeds grew a bay tree, or at a basic joke you find hilarious.
Thrive in your way of life, do it to the best of your abilities. Be proud of your life use it as a shield against those who do not get it. Every now and then let those dinner guest know that they are in your house and your way of life is not to be laughed at - everybody needs to be humbled now and then. Give them time to 'get' you and your lifestyle. Stand strong in the farmgirl way of life!!!! Be happy with who you are and dream about spring and your herb garden :-)
I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion.
-Henry David Thoreau- |
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acairnsmom
True Blue Farmgirl
1319 Posts
audrey
cheyenne
wy
1319 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 09:52:25 AM
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Joanna, I thought your evening sounded wonderful! Those people you had over should be given a remedial lesson in manners! I was taught that you complimented the hostess on the meal whether or not it was edible and you thanked them for their hospitality whether or not you enjoyed the evening. I would scratch them off my invite list for any future get togethers!
I have a friend who can't understand why I grow my own veggies. She politely reminds me "that is what grocery stores are for". I honestly believe she has lost all touch with her taste buds because she would rather eat pre-packaged foods than to make a meal herself. She has gotten so far removed from real food that I don't even think she shops in the produce aisles of the grocery store. It is ME who feels sorry for her!
Face it girls, there are those out there that will always think we are a bit "tetched in the head" for wanting a quality life. Lucky for us we know where to find like minded sisters right here on this forum.
Audrey
Toto, we're not in Kansas any more! |
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redbud
True Blue Farmgirl
52 Posts
Christine
Luther
Oklahoma
USA
52 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 10:04:54 AM
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It sounds like you went to a lot of effort to provide a very lovely and wonderful dinner for your friends. I feel bad for you that they didn't appreciate all your work(it sounds like a very lovely dinner to me). Try not to let them upset you too much, and I wouldn't invite them over again. And I agree, those people need some lessons in manners!
to everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under heaven
http://christine-88stitches.blogspot.com
http://myoklahomagarden.blogspot.com |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 10:59:26 AM
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Thank you so much for your kind words!! I too was raised with good manners, so I continued on and gave them a great evening. The hard part is we all like to reach out to others. . . share our lives and ways with them. . . I guess in their books I did not measure up. That is okay by me! At least they can never say I was rude or that I did not care.
One thing is for sure, I am so happy to have all of you as my friends and sisters. 
Joanna #566
JojoNH
www.CountryCents.com
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 11:09:03 AM
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{{{{A Big Hug}}} for you Joanna.
People can be so insensitive sometimes can't they? You worked so hard on dinner, and too bad for them. Just remember that you did it, you did it the way you wanted to, treated everyone to a homemade, from scratch, and good for them dinner, and if that's the way they act, then tough for them, next time you won't invite them. :)
One of my son-in-laws, who just happens to be my favorite, bursts out laughing every time I mention the farm girls. He seems to find it hilarious, but you know what, I think he is glad that I am teaching his wife- my daughter, a few things that I never taught her before she got married! Yes, it hurts when he laughs, and I did tell him that, but I won't let it stop me from doing what I am doing, just like I won't let the family members who like to laugh at my soap-making, knitting, sewing, organic gardening ways bother me either.
Just think of who we might be influencing! Maybe one day one of your guests will come to you because they want to learn about something you're doing!
Keep up the good work!
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
Nothing we achieve in this world is achieved alone. It is always achieved with others teaching us along the way. Lee J. Colan
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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mscountrygirl
True Blue Farmgirl
552 Posts
Michelle
Lucedale
Mississippi
USA
552 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 11:17:39 AM
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I feel just awful that those people were so unfeeling. I have not been embraced in my community and I have experienced a taste of what you've been thru. It hurts no matter how you look at it.
It's all good! |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3324 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3324 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 12:13:05 PM
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My husband darns his socks with my wooden darning egg!
I grow my own vegetables, herbs, flowers AND I make my own soap. I can honestly say I have not purchase a bar of soap in almost
4-years!
Keep up the good work!---You obviously want what is best for you and your family and are definitely on the right track.
Some people just don't "get it" and it's their loss...
"The best mirror is an old friend."
- George Herbert
Melody
Farmgirl #525
www.melodynotes-melodynotes.blogspot.com
www.lemonverbenasoap.etsy.com
www.longtallsallys.etsy.com |
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farmallgrl
True Blue Farmgirl
483 Posts
Angela
Westminster
MD
USA
483 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 12:31:57 PM
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first I have to say that Melody's soap is WOnderful!!
But yes I experience this on a regular basis with my own family. I have 3 brothers and I am the youngest of 4. 2 of them are College educated computer fellows. One is an owner of a Diner. (That is my olddest brother) My youngest two brothers think that since I have not been college educated I HAVE to do stuff myself because I can not afford it. They do not appreciate the things I do and the things that I know how to do, but don't neccesarily do all of the time. I make all of my own gifts, and yes some of those brothers and SIL have made comments about it. So they get nothing the following year and thereafter. They are always trying to buy the "love" of my parents but when I present them with my normal basket of homemade jams. jellies, pickles, bread etc.....they are saying.."This is the best gift" So who is better than who? No one is better than anyone else, and if people think so, I always walk away.
And by the way, we just got hit with 2 blizzards in a course of 7 days. When everyone was oout of power (my bros) guess who could still eat because I know how to cook on a woodstove and I have PLENTY of jars of food that I canned last summer. So who's the dummy now? :)
I could go on and on about this subject but I will slow my roll on it or I will be on here forever!!
It always hurts to feel so unappareciated. But keep doing what you are doing.....it is WONDERFUL!
Angela
Farmgirl Sister #337
Has life got you down?...Look Up! |
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AmethystRose
True Blue Farmgirl
254 Posts
Rosemary
Huntingdon
PA
USA
254 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 12:34:19 PM
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| I think that you spent your evening with a bunch of insecure people. |
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melody
True Blue Farmgirl
3324 Posts
Melody
The Great North Woods in the Land of Hiawatha
USA
3324 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 12:49:39 PM
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Thank you Angela!!
I was a late bloomer in my 30's and only discovered my "natural" instincts after I married my DH. He comes from a very home-grown, do it yourself kind of family...that I adore and who appreciate my Christmas baskets very much!!
Back to Basics---that's the key; always has been and always will be!
Wow....I have always wanted to learn how to cook on a wood stove---they say there is nothing like it in the world---I envy you!
"The best mirror is an old friend."
- George Herbert
Melody
Farmgirl #525
www.melodynotes-melodynotes.blogspot.com
www.lemonverbenasoap.etsy.com
www.longtallsallys.etsy.com |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 12:55:32 PM
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Thank you to all of you, you have really lifted my spirits!!
I have always been an odd duck in the family. . except with my Nana and Grampa. . . they continued to encourage me and teach me the old ways.
This is one of those defining moments we all go through. I won't be wasting my time on those who look down on me, although I will keep them in my prayers that someday they will "get it". I continue to walk to the beat of my own drum and enjoy life's special treasures.
Big Hugs to you all!!!
Joanna #566
JojoNH
www.CountryCents.com
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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Calicogirl
True Blue Farmgirl
5216 Posts
Sharon
Bruce Crossing
Michigan
USA
5216 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 1:17:51 PM
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Joanna,
I say good for you! Those are all such wonderful accomplishments. I would be SO BLESSED to have dinner at a friend's house and find that everything was homemade. And I would be so enthralled to find out what else you do :) Some people are rude and go for convenience. Their loss. When they open that package of storebought frozen crinkle cut carrots and taste them after having yours, they will realize that they had a good thing. YOu are a very gracious hostess and despite the rude guests that we have, "No one can say that we were not polite and gracious."
~Sharon
By His Grace, For His Glory
http://merryheartjournal.blogspot.com/ |
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Fiddlehead Farm
True Blue Farmgirl
4562 Posts
Diane
Waupaca
WI
USA
4562 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 1:21:42 PM
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Joanna, I sure would have loved to have been a guest at your dinner! It sounded wonderful. Shame on your guests, they must be insecure and found power in making fun of you because they could never do what you do! Keep up with what you are doing, we get you. I have friends that don't understand what I do either. They are always poking fun at me and calling me Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker, which I find as a compliment. I do what I do because I get great satisfaction from "making" stuff. I can't believe the stories I heard about the big snow storms...some children could not eat because they always eat at school and school was closed. No food in the house! I know that if we lost power, we could survive. We just have those old fashioned skills that help us cope and fill our pantry. We will be the ones that prevail during economic hardships and natural disasters. Keep on keepin on Joanna, we (farmgirls) appreciate everything you do!
Why not go out on a limb, that's where all the fruit is! "Mark Twain"
http://studiodiphotosite.shutterfly.com/
farmgirl sister #922 |
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chaddsgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
843 Posts
Sarah
Farmgirl Sisterhood #639
MO
USA
843 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 1:57:16 PM
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Joanna, some people are just so awful!! I am so fortunate that on my side of the family everyone is excited about handmade, home grown, from scratch everything. At Thanksgiving last year we had a blast, everyone brining a dish from veggies grown in their own garden. In fact this coming year we're all raising our own meat from pork to meat chickens to Turkeys and catfish.
My husband's side of the family, well, that's a different story. I don't get as much flack as some of you ladies, but it does hurt tremendously when people look at your efforts and all they can say is, "that's stupid".
In fact, my mother told me about an incident over handmade Christmas gifts that absolutely infuriated me. She used to do a lot of embroidery work. And being short of money one year, she embroidered roses on some scrap cloth and made them into beautiful decorative pillows. The response she received from her mother was that she thought Mom had bought decals and glued them onto the fabric. Can you even imagine??????!!!!!! Needless to say, my mother no longer sends hand made gifts to my grandmother.
My point, in this whole rambling post is that I sooooo appreciate all you ladies and I know my efforts are worthwhile. Having the support of my fellow farmgirls helps keep my spirits up and keeps me from being dicouraged. And Joanna, if I ever get to come and have dinner at your house you can bet I won't be laughing, I'll be taking notes!!!!
A person is a success if they get up in the morning and get to bed at night and in between does what they want to do. Bob Dylan
Deeperrootsfarm.etsy.com |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 2:46:58 PM
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Thank you so much for all your kind words and sharing of your stories. I choose to share this with all of my Farmgirl Friends,why? because I knew you would understand how I felt.
I love doing all that I do. Nothing can make me stop doing what comes natural. I agree with those who said they made fun of me because they felt insecure about themselves and maybe even secretly wished they could do what it is I do.
Just so you all know, any one of you ( or all of you at once, giggle) are welcome to my home for dinner any time!!! The only laughter we will hear then is the laughter of friendship!!
Joanna #566
JojoNH
www.CountryCents.com
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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nubidane
True Blue Farmgirl
2900 Posts
Lisa
Georgetown
OH
2900 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 3:02:35 PM
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| I feel sorry for people like that, & the next time you decide to have such a spectacular meal, invite ME!! I will relish the meal & all the love that went into it..& I would be tickled to learn how to darn socks! |
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classygram
True Blue Farmgirl
1812 Posts
Brenda
Pleasant Hill
Mo.
USA
1812 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 3:10:36 PM
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I have found that people who are not confortable with themselves, have to put down, make fun of someone that is different than they are. They will soon find themselves alone and then what will they do. Since the don't really like themselves, they will find it very lonely. I'm very proud of how you handled them. You are a very wise and wonderful lady. Next time you want to put on a beautiful dinner again, let us all know and we'll book a bus tour and head your way. Be just who you are Joanna, that's what make you special.
Blessings, Brenda |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 3:29:48 PM
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You know Joanna, prople have always made fun of the people who dare to be themselves. People who don't follow the trends or who like living their a way different way than the majority thinks makes sense. It is a very sad thing that so many of them miss out on the most wonderful experiences in life because they are so closed minded and afraid to try anything new without making fun of it. I can imagine how you must of felt at your lovely party to have those unkind (and uninformed )remarks made. Just feel sorry for them, and don't worry about inviting them back! It is they who are having the problem not you.
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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mellaisbella
True Blue Farmgirl
1862 Posts
melanie
living on Anne of Green
Gables land
Canada
1862 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 3:35:38 PM
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I think those people were just jealous of how crafty you are. Keep up the good work (Love the crinkle cut carrots!!home grown of course)
"we must be the change we wish to see in the world"
farmgal #150 |
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LakeOntarioFarmgirl
True Blue Farmgirl
933 Posts
Brenda
North Rose
NY
USA
933 Posts |
Posted - Feb 16 2010 : 3:37:10 PM
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oooo Joanna, I could be there in just under 9 hours! I would LOVE to come to your house for dinner! :)
Brenda
FarmGirl # 711
Nothing we achieve in this world is achieved alone. It is always achieved with others teaching us along the way. Lee J. Colan
http://theviewfromhere-brenda.blogspot.com/ |
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JojoNH
True Blue Farmgirl
1984 Posts
Joanna
Dunbarton
New Hampshire
USA
1984 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 04:24:22 AM
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Thank you again for all the wonderful support!!! A bus tour. . hmmm, now THAT is something to consider!!! Maybe a Farmgirl Retreat is in order!!! LOL!! Brenda, you make the drive, I will spoil you with the dinner!
As you all know, I live in the mountains in a town with a year round population of 287 . . . men, women and children. We have 3 stop signs in our town, no post office, no police dept, no fire dept only a town hall. So in true Farmgirl fashion, I always extend the hand of friendship, jump in and help those in need and have learned to forgive those that do not understand.
Don't you worry, no one can break this Farmgirl's Can-Do spirit!!!
Joanna #566
JojoNH
www.CountryCents.com
http://CountryCents.Blogspot.com
http://Twitter.com/Eastwooddesigns |
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CountryBorn
True Blue Farmgirl
1545 Posts
Mary Jane
New York
USA
1545 Posts |
Posted - Feb 17 2010 : 07:54:31 AM
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You know that is really surprising that in a little town like yours there aren't more people that live the same way you do, especially in New England. I guess we never know huh?
MJ
There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different from the things we do. Freya Stark |
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Across the Fence: Have you ever experienced . . . |
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Have you ever experienced . . .
